thanks for the advice and for sharing your experiences. I'll be on meds by the end of the week most likely... although most medications take a long time to kick in (months) so that kinda sucks lol. I'm half hoping for some valium or something just for the absolute worst moments... but then again that's probably way too habit-forming to be a good idea. plus I've just escaped a long period of using weed to regulate my moods, which is part (but not all) of the problem.
really I just need to reach the point where I have enough motivation to do the things I need to do in order to feel better. right now I know there are a lot of things that make me feel better - exercise, writing, meditation, etc. - but the worse you feel, the harder it is to do those things. mind over matter I guess... if only it were so easy.
ain't it the truth. I have reached the point where I hate days off. if I can get myself up and active it's not bad, but if I can't... hell on earth. I volunteered to help my parents move some shit from my great-aunt's house last weekend (she's a hoarder and we're helping her clean up) just because I wanted something to do. they didn't even have to ask... bet that shocked them lol.
and it helps just knowing that other people have experienced this. although it sucks too, I'd rather you didn't understand what I mean if that makes sense. I wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy.
I resonated with a lot of what you said, but especially this. it's so weird. I know I'm going to be fine, that what I'm going through now is temporary, but I simply cannot make myself believe it. that is what finally convinced me to talk to my doctor; when I reached the point where what I felt was both terrifying and irrational to the point of frustration. sorry that it recurs for you, and the job loss is a bitch... I'm lucky to be where I am right now, they're pretty laid back (but I won't be in this job much longer and that's part of the problem). I'm glad you're finding ways to deal with it and I hope you are successful, it sounds like you're doing alright.
sorry you had to go through that. I can honestly say I don't know if I would be here without my dad. I reached the point where I didn't care about my life one iota, but he said if I was gone it would destroy him. so I was literally living for his sake. I'm glad you got through it anyway, though.
not much of either. I stay in my room all day if I'm not working. I know I should get out but it's a catch-22; the worse I feel the more I need to get out and the less I want to. just gotta get past that mental hurdle I guess. easier said than done though.
when I do exercise it helps a lot... if I can get myself to exercise. part of the problem is having no energy to exercise because I can't eat (sometimes literally, when it's really bad my gag reflex basically says "no food for you!")