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  1. #121
    I'll change yer fuckin rate you derivative piece of shit
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    Re: Friend in trouble - advice appreciated

    Quote Originally Posted by shaddix View Post
    Personally, for a long term commitment(effectively marriage), I would much rather date an intelligent, hot, 20 year old with no education and a shitty job over an equally intelligent, equally hot, 30 year old with a masters degree pulling the upper end of five figures. A woman's professional accomplishments do very little to attract me, and I would expect this is the case for the majority of men.
    I can't speak for the majority of men, but you've completely nailed our difference of opinion. I'd much rather build a life and raise children with the latter woman. (and I am)

  2. #122

    Maybe then the difference is the desire and readiness to settle down and start a family rather than age or any other factor, such as sexual attractiveness based on intelligence and social status.

  3. #123
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    It's pretty awesome that women are a homogenous block, with simple psyches that respond only to a small set of stimuli!

  4. #124
    gotta control my instincts and pretend
    not to be a shitposter/homophobe

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    Quote Originally Posted by Nyosan View Post
    It's pretty awesome that women are a homogenous block, with simple psyches that respond only to a small set of stimuli!
    As much as I wished this wasn't the case, every day I can't help but to notice that it is the sad truth.

  5. #125
    Black Guy from Predator.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Nyosan View Post
    It's pretty awesome that women are a homogenous block, with simple psyches that respond only to a small set of stimuli!
    i thought it was pretty awesome too

  6. #126
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    Quote Originally Posted by Churchill View Post
    Self reflection is a powerful tool.
    Before I respond to the bullshit that the thread has devolved into, (though such a direction was ever inevitable in a forum such as this), OP I have no specific suggestions to offer you, other than to say you're asking for too much if you expect to find any serious suggestions beyond the few common sense comments made by some posters on the 1st page. But then, you do realize that you're seeking such advice on BG forums.

    Now then, to begin the good work. Churchill and those who think similarly, it is my reasoned opinion that you are thoroughly confused. At this point I will not take the time to address the various topics raised in your posts.

    It's good that you noted the importance of self reflection. I, of course, encourage you to keep at it. The pretense is strong within you son.

    You, Lucavi, and other similar posters try way too hard.

  7. #127
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    It's obvious to anyone that the various posters who speak of "smashing that pussy" and other such wonderful activities are obviously going to be the relationship and women experts on this board.

  8. #128

    Quote Originally Posted by Kellanved View Post
    Before I respond to the bullshit that the thread has devolved into, (though such a direction was ever inevitable in a forum such as this), OP I have no specific suggestions to offer you, other than to say you're asking for too much if you expect to find any serious suggestions beyond the few common sense comments made by some posters on the 1st page. But then, you do realize that you're seeking such advice on BG forums.

    Now then, to begin the good work. Churchill and those who think similarly, it is my reasoned opinion that you are thoroughly confused. At this point I will not take the time to address the various topics raised in your posts.

    It's good that you noted the importance of self reflection. I, of course, encourage you to keep at it. The pretense is strong within you son.

    You, Lucavi, and other similar posters try way too hard.
    I guess I'll take it on faith that the reason you decided to post in this topic was simply to tell me that you think I am confused. I'll bear in mind that you rarely post and are a busy man and that such a comment bears the fruit of your learned wisdom. I'll also bear in mind that you rarely post and decided to comment on this thread and these comments in particular without a compelling argument opposite of it other than what I can only take as being uncomfortable.

    Quote Originally Posted by Uryuu View Post
    It's obvious to anyone that the various posters who speak of "smashing that pussy" and other such wonderful activities are obviously going to be the relationship and women experts on this board.
    I'll redirect you here:
    Quote Originally Posted by Churchill View Post
    All topics of discussion open, advanced astrophysics to genocide to gun control to financial success to weightlifting/fitness.

    Except relationships, Archi draws the line there because nerds.
    I'll just help you out that anyone who actually praised me or thinks I'm cool (the logical direction your conclusion draws for my motivations) hasn't bro-fived me for smashing ass, but rather commented on their experiences with women being similar.

    If you'd like to cure your myopia, grab a copy of Fifty Shades of Grey and ask yourself why this is a bestseller.

  9. #129

    Quote Originally Posted by Churchill View Post
    If you'd like to cure your myopia, grab a copy of Fifty Shades of Grey and ask yourself why this is a bestseller.
    >implying that popularity is an indicator of correctness and/or a subject matter that resonates deeply with people at an instinctual level

  10. #130

    Quote Originally Posted by Kellanved View Post
    Before I respond to the bullshit that the thread has devolved into, (though such a direction was ever inevitable in a forum such as this), OP I have no specific suggestions to offer you, other than to say you're asking for too much if you expect to find any serious suggestions beyond the few common sense comments made by some posters on the 1st page. But then, you do realize that you're seeking such advice on BG forums.
    Yeah, I know, writing about it actually made me feel better and a tad less helpless at a point in time when I felt extremely shitty, which was really all I needed, plus I got some useful advice and information as a bonus.

    @Churchil
    How old are you?

    I'm just going to stick to the things I actually find relevant, useful or interesting in some way.
    Quote Originally Posted by Churchill View Post
    The guy your friend is dating is insecure as fuck for sure, but he's in a different class of men. He understands what is going on and he hates women for it and he hates men for it and the bitterness oozes from him.
    I'm guessing his hatred comes from the fact it was a woman that dragged him out of his hood and gave him a decent life. But yea, must suck to feel inferior.

    Quote Originally Posted by Churchill View Post
    I could too. It's because it makes them tingle and their learned observations associate abuse with attention.
    This actually makes a lot of sense. If you have any idea how to point out the difference for someone, do tell me.

    Quote Originally Posted by Churchill View Post
    Let's assume your friend is/was decent looking, say an 8 when she was younger and now a 6-7.
    Since you've been a good sport, here, have some entertainment.
    My friend is one of the most attractive women I have ever encountered. I met her on a casting, and I still remember my first thought when I saw her was 'well fuck, she's gonna get the job' (we both did, which is how we became friends). I know this is the internet, but at least try to remember what average women look like in rl.



    Quote Originally Posted by Churchill View Post
    She's probably been with a man at some point who made her tingle like crazy and lose her shit trying to make him happy. He left her, but that memory lives on. Maybe she's dated many guys like that, you would have told her at the time that they were assholes. At 30, she's been tricked into believing she can still attract that type of man.
    Ok, I think you're actually being useful. I'm going to assume that what you describe as assholes is pretty much the kind of men you represent. Someone interested in a pretty young piece of meat with a bit of brain to have some fun with for a while, and you're right, she can't have that anymore.

    Quote Originally Posted by Churchill View Post
    The fallacy is that what she is looking for doesn't exist, but instead of accepting her new status she is still seeking it out and as a result is with someone who probably exhibits some traits but not genuinely. Like I said before, the guy probably reeks of bitterness, but also probably has an attitude of not giving a fuck or apathy (which is being mistaken for aloofness). She is also likely mistaking control for dominance.
    Yep

    Quote Originally Posted by shaddix View Post
    All the other factors you're looking for in a female are pointless without the good looking part though, or at least I would hope? I'm not saying I would take a good looking idiot, just that the looks are a prerequisite. And the younger the better, because their looks will last much longer.
    lol

    Quote Originally Posted by TheDangerousDave View Post
    if she knows he is volatile, why repeatedly ignore his calls until finally answering?
    And here you have the essence of the problem. You cannot build a relationship based on fear of how your partner will react if you don't act exactly the way he wants you to.

    Quote Originally Posted by TheDangerousDave View Post
    If she's meant to be at work in the morning, why isn't she asleep to be prepared for it?
    She was sleeping at my place that night, me and her sister were still up talking.

    Quote Originally Posted by TheDangerousDave View Post
    The same grandeur that makes her less attractive in comparison to a younger, easier, more submissive, more respectful and appreciative model.
    I'm sure that's exactly what her abusive bf would say. Good job, sir.

    Quote Originally Posted by Churchill View Post
    I bolded the things you stated that are actually important to women, when they say anything else it's lip service. This sort of glosses over some things like short term and long term interest and what candidates appeal to a woman at different times.
    The things you bolded will matter to a 22 year old. At 30, we make enough money to provide for ourselves. Our boyfriend's social status does not define us. While it might still not be as socially acceptable for a woman to date someone younger/with lower education or not as good job, it's not a top priority. And looks? Seriously? I wouldn't date someone I find ugly, but besides that, I really couldn't care less.

    Quote Originally Posted by Churchill View Post
    The first thing you have to realize is that it's not that you are good looking, smart, well educated, and have a good job that attracts women - it's that you are aware that who you are and what you are is enough to replace a given woman at any time. She is not your only option in the world, you and I have had this discussion privately in greater depth. Women will qualify themselves to a man they perceive to be of higher value because he is the 'catch'.
    Have you actually considered the fact that you might fall in love with the woman? Like for real? Actually have feelings and shit? Women are not cars. You don't need to go buy a new model every couple of years.

    Quote Originally Posted by Churchill View Post
    Why? What is it you think about those women creates a better candidate for sex or relationships? From rich to poor and dumb to smart, women are not terribly different creatures in how they respond to stimuli. Environmental factors can move women in different directions but it's not a matter of not responding so much as it becomes a matter of what is too little or too much.
    If you press space bar she'll jump, no matter what model you pick, but don't smash it too hard or she might start making flips and you don't want that, because other players can see under her skirts then.

    Quote Originally Posted by Churchill View Post
    Women want to be submissive but not to a man who she doesn't respect and who doesn't command/deserve it. In the cases where you do not, she will be in charge.

    Ask yourself if you know a man who has been through a divorce or was cheated on, whatever. Don't consider things such as if he was wealthy, successful, great looking, had a huge dick, whatever. Consider how he interacted with his wife and compare it to the generalization I made in my previous post.
    This is actually fairly interesting to me personally and I do agree with you to a certain level. I do believe I need a man who will respect my opinions, but also a man who will be able to command me at times when I'm not capable of realizing what's best for me (when sick or hurt etc). For me it's a matter of trust and security. If the man is incapable of providing that I prefer being alone.

  11. #131

    I'll expand on this because I like to armchair psychiatrist. It seems to me that the various posters who assert that relationships in our species are simplified to such rules as "women want strong, dominant providers" and "men want attractive, submissive, fertile women" are making dramatic generalizations from their own anecdotal experiences. These things might be true during the courting period of human mating, but I believe that the "rules" change a great deal when moving towards life-long mates.

    Granted, if your personal belief is that 22-25 year olds will always be available (a true statement), and people in that age range tend to behave a particular way, then it's reasonable to continue acting in a way that will attract them. However, as mentioned above, the courting period and the lifelong mate period can be radically different (also shown, albeit anecdotally, by the minority of posters that are actually settled down). If you never move out of the courting period, you cannot enter the lifelong mate period.

    tl;dr: Grow up. People don't fit in neat boxes.

  12. #132

    Quote Originally Posted by Lucienne View Post
    And here you have the essence of the problem. You cannot build a relationship based on fear of how your partner will react if you don't act exactly the way he wants you to.

    She was sleeping at my place that night, me and her sister were still up talking.

    I'm sure that's exactly what her abusive bf would say. Good job, sir.
    Well you are seeing this completely from female's mind. If he were out telling her he was staying at a friends then repeatedly ignored her calls, you're acting like she wouldn't be pissed off? I'm sure it's enough to disgruntle anyone of either gender, though if the guy "might" be abusive as you claim (i.e. he hasn't actually done anything yet and you can't say for sure that he will) and she wants to be with him then why not just answer the phone like a normal person? I see many women that provoke men then act the victim when the man is pissed off and reacts, hell my gf does it to me and I know the problem is not with me.

    As for sleeping, why is he a bad guy for calling her when she's awake when she should be sleeping? She should be sleeping so it wouldn't be a problem. As a woman you completely ignore the fact that she's not doing a. what she should be and b. what she told her bf she was doing so why demonize him for phoning her at such a time? I think he sounds perfectly reasonable.

    So he is abusive now? Not just you think he is going to be abusive?

  13. #133

    Quote Originally Posted by Blubbartron View Post
    I'll expand on this because I like to armchair psychiatrist. It seems to me that the various posters who assert that relationships in our species are simplified to such rules as "women want strong, dominant providers" and "men want attractive, submissive, fertile women" are making dramatic generalizations from their own anecdotal experiences. These things might be true during the courting period of human mating, but I believe that the "rules" change a great deal when moving towards life-long mates.

    Granted, if your personal belief is that 22-25 year olds will always be available (a true statement), and people in that age range tend to behave a particular way, then it's reasonable to continue acting in a way that will attract them. However, as mentioned above, the courting period and the lifelong mate period can be radically different (also shown, albeit anecdotally, by the minority of posters that are actually settled down). If you never move out of the courting period, you cannot enter the lifelong mate period.

    tl;dr: Grow up. People don't fit in neat boxes.
    May I ask at which point you consider a couple to be serious/settled/life long? That, too, I believe is entirely subjective. Some people that have been in a relationship for just 12 months will believe that they are serious and settled, whereas others will claim it is only after at least engagement or living together etc.

  14. #134

    Quote Originally Posted by TheDangerousDave View Post
    Well you are seeing this completely from female's mind. If he were out telling her he was staying at a friends then repeatedly ignored her calls, you're acting like she wouldn't be pissed off? I'm sure it's enough to disgruntle anyone of either gender, though if the guy "might" be abusive as you claim (i.e. he hasn't actually done anything yet and you can't say for sure that he will) and she wants to be with him then why not just answer the phone like a normal person? I see many women that provoke men then act the victim when the man is pissed off and reacts, hell my gf does it to me and I know the problem is not with me.

    So he is abusive now? Not just you think he is going to be abusive?
    A normal person does not call at 2 am. A normal person respects the fact that you're visiting someone and are busy interacting with them and does not bother you other than in case of emergency. If he wanted to hear from her a polite thing to do would have been texting. That's how the people I socialize with do things, we're adults and act accordingly.

    I'm sorry if your gf provokes you, maybe you should stop dating 22 year olds.

  15. #135

    Quote Originally Posted by TheDangerousDave View Post
    May I ask at which point you consider a couple to be serious/settled/life long? That, too, I believe is entirely subjective. Some people that have been in a relationship for just 12 months will believe that they are serious and settled, whereas others will claim it is only after at least engagement or living together etc.
    You're quite right - it's completely subjective, and it depends entirely on the people involved. I'm not entirely convinced that it's a hard line, either. From my observations of friends (going from dating, living together, married, kids) it seems to evolve gradually. However, comparing people as they were in the dating phase to themselves in the married phase shows stark contrasts in almost all cases.

    If I had to say there was one defining characteristic, it would be that people in the lifelong mate phase don't feel the need to compete anymore. They have secured their mate, and feel secure in knowing their mate feels similarly. That characteristic could develop in weeks, months, years, or never.

  16. #136

    For me it's a matter of trust and security. If the man is incapable of providing that I prefer being alone.
    Of course, and while men that can invoke this exist I am sure their existence lies at about the rate I find exceptionally mature 20 year old women. Is your friend on the left? I would still stick to my previous assessment of what her looks were if so.

  17. #137

    Quote Originally Posted by Blubbartron View Post
    You're quite right - it's completely subjective, and it depends entirely on the people involved. I'm not entirely convinced that it's a hard line, either. From my observations of friends (going from dating, living together, married, kids) it seems to evolve gradually. However, comparing people as they were in the dating phase to themselves in the married phase shows stark contrasts in almost all cases.

    If I had to say there was one defining characteristic, it would be that people in the lifelong mate phase don't feel the need to compete anymore. They have secured their mate, and feel secure in knowing their mate feels similarly. That characteristic could develop in weeks, months, years, or never.
    This is how you get divorced to a wife you have never actually fucked and haven't "made love to" in years.

  18. #138

    Oh you added a paragraph.

    Quote Originally Posted by TheDangerousDave View Post
    As for sleeping, why is he a bad guy for calling her when she's awake when she should be sleeping? She should be sleeping so it wouldn't be a problem. As a woman you completely ignore the fact that she's not doing a. what she should be and b. what she told her bf she was doing so why demonize him for phoning her at such a time? I think he sounds perfectly reasonable.
    You ever bring that up as an argument again, and I'll smash your pity dumb ass all over these boards. And trust me, I can.
    If he thought she was asleep, why was he calling her?
    Why does she have to tell her bf what she's doing at any given time?

  19. #139

    Quote Originally Posted by Churchill View Post
    Of course, and while men that can invoke this exist I am sure their existence lies at about the rate I find exceptionally mature 20 year old women. Is your friend on the left? I would still stick to my previous assessment of what her looks were if so.
    Sadly true, doesn't help that I'm exceptionally stubborn and strong headed, and think I can handle just about anything on my own, or at least without a man.
    The top and the left, yes.

  20. #140

    Quote Originally Posted by TheDangerousDave View Post
    Well you are seeing this completely from female's mind. If he were out telling her he was staying at a friends then repeatedly ignored her calls, you're acting like she wouldn't be pissed off? I'm sure it's enough to disgruntle anyone of either gender, though if the guy "might" be abusive as you claim (i.e. he hasn't actually done anything yet and you can't say for sure that he will) and she wants to be with him then why not just answer the phone like a normal person? I see many women that provoke men then act the victim when the man is pissed off and reacts, hell my gf does it to me and I know the problem is not with me.

    As for sleeping, why is he a bad guy for calling her when she's awake when she should be sleeping? She should be sleeping so it wouldn't be a problem. As a woman you completely ignore the fact that she's not doing a. what she should be and b. what she told her bf she was doing so why demonize him for phoning her at such a time? I think he sounds perfectly reasonable.

    So he is abusive now? Not just you think he is going to be abusive?
    The bolded phrase is one of the scariest things I've heard said about a relationship ever. You don't tell someone what they should be doing at any given time. You can give suggestions and try and help guide someone, but you do not and cannot demand someone do what you think is right for them. That is controlling and if it continues is in fact abusive.

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