Anxiety issues when playing games online, and especially MMOs...

[NynJa]

You're suffering from anxiety for fear of missing a stun on Lahar (or whatever an XIV equivalent would be). If you're suffering this bad anxiety over a video game when you're hidden behind a computer screen, I cant imagine how bad you have it in person. I strongly suggest seeking psychiatric help in combating this, because its going to lead to a lot of issues down the line.

[Plow]

This is why I hate games with things like dungeon finder options. Make one mistake, and suddenly everyone else in your group is the best player the game has ever seen, and wants to ridicule you. Fuck that noise. Find a guild/LS that you fit with. Play with the same people for awhile. They'll be cool with you fucking up sometimes, because they do too, and they'll be more willing to take a wipe and try again if they know you.

tl;dr - find friends and play with them

man in those smn parties we used to do we had this other jp bard that came a lot, and when we were in sky he would CONSTANTLY die to self destruct lol...

I think a lot of people would be really embarrassed about that, when really, we were just glad it wasn't pissing him off so he didn't leave.


But yeah OP, you should consider getting help, unless it's something that's not a problem in real life or anywhere outside of mmo's... in which case it'd probably be best not to play mmo's heh.

[Mistress Stowastiq]

Are these symptoms only occur when playing MMORPGs? From what I've read I don't think so.

I am no psychologist but I'd say the best way is to get out of your comfort zone in real life. I am sure we can assure you here that nothing will happen if you type and speak but you need to teach your brain to do that.

Challenge yourself, look at the activities calendar in your city and slowly blend. Once you are able to do this in real life, your online behaviour would likely follow I'd say.

Just like our tolerance to pain, we've also got a line of anxiety, which, when crossed, triggers a shitload of symptoms. Think like an engineer, train yourself to pull line further, raise the bar.

Re: bolded text above:
In my particular case yes, only in party's during battle in mmorpg's where I am required to be with other people who might depend on me. I don't have issues at all in real life social situations and its quite the opposite.

If I party up in seasonal events in game, like during the last one where we had to party to complete the content, I was not as nervous because I knew it was a seasonal event and not as intense or serious. My anxiety is directly related to fear of inconveniencing people who are in partys with me. As for the OP's anxiety, it does seem to be more related to social situations in game in general because he stated that he remains quiet most of the time in game.

If I did have anxiety with other real life situations, I would definitely agree though that its not just an mmorpg gaming thing.

Your advice on challenging the self. I agree, for me, I have to just go in and do it in order to overcome it.

Seeing all the posts in this thread is enlightening and I am glad OP took the time to start the conversation. I had no idea others had anxiety in mmorpg games.

Whenever I joined a BG in WoW for the first time I about had a panic attack. I was shaking uncontrollable, heavy breathing and just freakin out. I only joined because someone asked me to invite them so they could get an easy warp to stormwind (since I queued) said I would never do it again but I kept forcing myself because once I found a class I enjoyed pvping with, I was having fun.

It's all about confidence. Try to remember it's just people on the internet and who cares what they think/say/do/whatever. I know, easier said than done. It's a process to work on. It's kind of like conquering your fear, the more you put yourself into the situation the better you'll get. Making this thread is a great step. It's all just a game and it's okay to fuckup a couple of times if you have a specific duty on fights

@Koul, I get the exact symptoms in parties. So bad my hands shake and I miss my keys when I try to type. The only time I can do it is if I force myself. I procrastinate like no one's business though and so I soloed as much as I could up to this point in XIV. I am at the point now where I have to party in order to continue in the storyline. I partied about a handful of times in premades so far and I tried Duty Finder twice. The second time in DF was bad so I have been intimidated since then and so I am kind of avoiding doing the first Titan battle. It is just seems more intimidating than the party content before it.

[Day]

Best answer is talk to your doctor. You don't need a psychiatrist at this point. I am suffering from some serious anxiety issues recently - work/stress related, (ffxiv was making it worse), doc put me on lexapro. It's helped quite a bit so far, hoping to be able to lower dose and get off it eventually though.

Remember to breathe. Sounds stupid, but I was catching myself holding my breath for a minute or so at a time when anxiety started ramping up, which only makes it worse. Now I just try to focus on deep regular breaths, and instead of trying to get rid of the symptoms just accept that they are there. Anxiety is very much a downward spiral where you start worrying/getting anxious about the symptoms and it compounds on itself.

For real though, dont be ashamed/worried about talking to your doctor, and dont take too much advice from BG medical lmao.

[Therin]

Imagine what professional gamers go through. A lot of them are probably just as introverted and prone to anxiety as we are, but they are so damn good at what they do that they really have to combat this before going to the professional level. All-in-all we're all the same type of people that play these games, so there's no reason to get anxious.

I think a lot of it is wrapped up in your sense of self-confidence. You probably see some people in your group as better than you. Maybe you joined an elite guild and expectations are high. Maybe you're younger than some of the people in the group, or a newer player, or feel less adequate for some reason or another. This is the core of what's going on and you have to stop it and realize that it's just another nerd on the other side of the screen. And even if he is better than you at the game, it's just a game and it's a very specific situation in the game and subset of that so in the long run it's not important.

I had this happen when I first joined my first big guild in FFXI. This was many many years ago, I was about 15 years old at the time, shortly after NA release. No one in the LS was even level 75 yet. But it was a big named LS, run by a big name personality (Rykoshet). Hell yeah I was nervous as a 15 year old going into this situation with a bunch of 18-20 year olds mostly, college kids with more life experience than I had, bigger attitudes, more confident people. It took a few months to get used to everyone, but in the end I found a few people I could open up to and if I did have any insecurities that I didn't want to get blasted all over the internet, I made sure to keep them myself. A year or so later I was one of the main two tanks in the LS and a few years after that I was off forming and leading my own linkshell, at the age of 18, telling people that were 25 and 30 years old what they could and couldn't do. I always felt my age would make them look down on me, so I didn't tell them. Hell, it took me about 5 or 6 years to finally tell one of my best in-game friends how old I was, and he just flat out couldn't believe it when I did ("I figured you were at least as old as me, probably older!").

I'm talking about the age because that was one of my insecurities that I initially had. I overcame it, and you can overcome what you have worrying you as well. You just have to focus on yourself, do the best that you can and make sure you're not giving them any additional reason to rake you over the coals. Yes, you WILL fuck up. Everyone does. But just minimize that and learn to shrug it off. Be confident, be a nice person when you can, be an asshole when you have to and do your job well and before long you'll be fine.

[jinkazama]

Best RDM or BLM NA until I'm given a stun order then I derp all over the place.

[Grey Jorildyn]

Psychotherapist chiming in here. I specialize in mood and anxiety disorders.

You can "deal" with anxiety in two ways. Both have already been suggested, but the outcome you want is what will determine the mode of treatment. If you're looking for a way to move past it because you find it annoying or simply cannot function acutely then psychiatry may be a preferred method here. You'll take some meds every day, deal with some side effects (or not if you're lucky) and probably see a reduction in the thoughts and maybe the physiological reactions, if any. If you're looking to find a more permanent solution that may teach you new ways to cope with this anxiety and even future anxiety, then psychotherapy is the option you're looking for. You'll have to do a lot of talking, go more often, but if your therapist is good, you can walk out being a better person who has greater insight about yourself after every session.

Ideally you want both however. Studies have shown time and time again that medicating the short-term while attending therapy to understand underlying motivations to mental illnesses simultaneously is the optimal approach to every problem we can treat in psychology. Remember this: you don't just feel anxious because the spotlight is on you. You feel anxious because your mind has developed a maladaptive connection between situations in which your performance is emphasized and the fear of reprisal from outcomes (that may be negative, hence being nervous). It could be there is a single triggering event. It could be the anxiety is a culmination of a number of smaller events that came together to form this behavior. It could just be chemical (but in your case it does not sound that simple). There is always an answer and you have it, it's just hidden away from you, somewhere in the deepest corners of your mind. The journey to finding the answers can be very insightful and very exciting. Plus it can and will change you into a more resilient person in the end.

Find a good one-stop center with behavioral health and see a psych. It is very likely they will refer you to an in-house therapist for treatment planning and if they do you should try it. In the meantime you should start keeping a journal of each time it happens and describe the situation, strength of emotion, and duration of the anxiety. This will help establish a baseline and allow a psych to provide a better starting dose, generally speaking. I think I just gave you homework. EOB is in the mail.

[Mayareira]

Anxiety can happen to anyone at anytime. I had a friend working at a very reputable company, who had to relocate because of her significant other. With a very fine CV she was able to land a job at a small-sized firm, with a good salary and bonus...they basically lured her with the good old "we are not like a company, we are like a family here" bait. Good salary, "warm environment (my ass), flexible work hours yada yada.

The directors of the company were people from the core with no education. They had the experience but honestly, very poor at managing a corporate person (i'd say it was also the mistake of my friend to hop onto the "family" stuff). Soon after her corporate methods were started to get criticized heavily, deemed unnecessary and she was isolated and the good old mobbing followed.

She fell into the anxiety disorder, lost her great ability to speak in front of public or heck, one to one communications, started doubting her skills etc. etc. lived a hell of a year until eventually she moved on to a big company once again eventhough she had to relocate. Regaining confidence, she recovered actually quite remarkably.

That's why, whether it be work or game, if you are unhappy at somewhere even if you believe that you do your best, just leave the fuck out. Even if it means to challenge yourself with something harder. Fighting is quite good but sometimes...its a dead end, and just doesn't worth it.

[BadKarma]

Happens to me when i play ranked in LoL

[Lucavi]

Y'all some pussies up in here.

But seriously, either find a new hobby (won't help if you feel this way about being put in any situation in regards to other people with the capacity to judge you based on your actions) or try to slide in with a group of skilled and chill people. Shoot for an older crowd: typically the progression is slower (because they have lives outside of the game, families, ect.) but the environment is more relaxed and mature (because they're goddamn adults, not high school or college students with underdeveloped brains and too much free time).

[Anoat]

Serious question OP: Have you ever been in real life situations where you had the success of others depending on you? Like for example, a sports team? Or maybe a team project in school or at work? If so, did you also have similar anxiety issues in those instances?

If your anxiety issues tend to be for MMOs only, I would suggest picking roles in games that are not so important that one misstep could wipe a group. That likely means being a DPS, at least until you felt comfortable enough playing a tank or healer or support type job. And I would try perhaps joining larger groups for content so the onus is not completely on you and you alone to make it a success. Personally, I cut my teeth in the early days of FFXI with those 64 man Dynamis runs, and you can gradually move on to smaller combat. I don't play FFXIV so I don't have a point of reference, but I would imagine there are different raid sizes? SWTOR for example has 8 man and 16 man versions of raids. When I first started raiding in that game, I stuck to the 16 man versions until I felt comfortable enough in my role and the mechanics of that particular raid before attempting 8 man runs. Perhaps you should try something similar.

[Osede]

Re: bolded text above:
In my particular case yes, only in party's during battle in mmorpg's where I am required to be with other people who might depend on me. I don't have issues at all in real life social situations and its quite the opposite.

If I party up in seasonal events in game, like during the last one where we had to party to complete the content, I was not as nervous because I knew it was a seasonal event and not as intense or serious. My anxiety is directly related to fear of inconveniencing people who are in partys with me. As for the OP's anxiety, it does seem to be more related to social situations in game in general because he stated that he remains quiet most of the time in game.

If I did have anxiety with other real life situations, I would definitely agree though that its not just an mmorpg gaming thing.

Your advice on challenging the self. I agree, for me, I have to just go in and do it in order to overcome it.

Seeing all the posts in this thread is enlightening and I am glad OP took the time to start the conversation. I had no idea others had anxiety in mmorpg games.

Just one or two question, have you tried to socialize with some one that you don't know before hand in real life? For me, I have no issue with some one I had already known, but when try to know some new stranger, I tend to be a little more "shy". While one reason is my personality tend to more observe what the person behavior, likes and etc, so I could throw an appropriate joke and stuff.


For the second question, actually I believe the question BGer asked is where have you been thrown in some spotlight before in real life? Like a team sport competition or etc. For me, I will less anxiety in game, but for some real life situation, like playing solo in concert, usually I will get more nervous. I used to be become very nervous when play table tennis in new place with new people. But these days become a little better as I some times hop around different places to keep play with different people and stranger.

[Weederr33]

I used to get huge amounts of anxiety and even panic attacks when I attempted to play any type of war game after getting out of the Army. I decided to quit playing them for a few years.

[Mertron]

i used to get anxiety sometimes when i played ffxi too. not because i was afraid i was going to fuck up, but because i was afraid the people i was playing with were going to fuck up.

that probably didn't help

[Titanss]

the only thing that gave me anxiety was boroka

[Koul]

I have anxiety/stress/depression issues in real life so that doesn't help my situation. I don't think it's a problem to have anxiety attacks with MMO's per se because you're taking it seriously. I know with fighting game tournaments some fresh people who have never been on the spot-light would just fuckup and have issues. I think it's relatively natural. It's mostly about keeping your cool as best as you can.

I'm strongly against any sort of anti-psychotic drugs but if that's the route you think you should take and if it's that intense of anxiety, then go for it. Otherwise, I would just keep pushing yourself into the deep end and (hopefully) sooner or later you can overcome it to where it's mostly controlled. But again, some people *need* anti-psychotic medication and there's no shame in that. My best friend and mum need em. But I feel comfortable with myself where I don't find it necessary.

My anxiety with MMO's stems from me wanting to be absolutely perfect. I dread being one of those crappy healers or shmucks who are just terrible. I can never do small pvp matches though. That's way too much pressure for me. Even with friends doing 3v3 arenas in WoW, I was freaking out and shaking. The movie Gravity also gave me a bit of a panic attack because it was so intense lol stupid shitty brain chemicals

[Abandon]

Y'all some pussies up in here.

But seriously, either find a new hobby (won't help if you feel this way about being put in any situation in regards to other people with the capacity to judge you based on your actions) or try to slide in with a group of skilled and chill people. Shoot for an older crowd: typically the progression is slower (because they have lives outside of the game, families, ect.) but the environment is more relaxed and mature (because they're goddamn adults, not high school or college students with underdeveloped brains and too much free time).

holy fuck, qft.

[Mistress Stowastiq]

Just one or two question, have you tried to socialize with some one that you don't know before hand in real life? For me, I have no issue with some one I had already known, but when try to know some new stranger, I tend to be a little more "shy". While one reason is my personality tend to more observe what the person behavior, likes and etc, so I could throw an appropriate joke and stuff.


For the second question, actually I believe the question BGer asked is where have you been thrown in some spotlight before in real life? Like a team sport competition or etc. For me, I will less anxiety in game, but for some real life situation, like playing solo in concert, usually I will get more nervous. I used to be become very nervous when play table tennis in new place with new people. But these days become a little better as I some times hop around different places to keep play with different people and stranger.

First question, yes and I am one of those ice breaker, communicator types, the person who will speak first in awkward situations and that will cause others to chill out or feel fine talking to me as if they know me. [This is annoying when I actually just want to be alone because people find a way to talk to me no matter where I go.] I have always had this curse or gift where people come up to me out of no where and find a reason to talk to me. If it is not me who starts a conversation, some one will start one with me. I have no shyness in social situations in real life or online with people that I do not know. In turn I can do the same and often do.

On stage, performing as a dancer, displaying my art at a gallery show or being lead vocals in a band I get nervous about my abilities as a performer because I am a perfectionist and scrutinize myself intensely. The moments before the performance or public engagement are where I have anxiety because of me constantly scrutinizing my abilities. When I go on stage I get intense anxiety until the part where my performance begins and then it is over when I get in the mode.

I answered the "spotlight" question in my post already but I did not describe what it is like in competitive situations. When it comes to competing, again because I am my own worse critic and a perfectionist, yes I get nervous and I get anxiety. The only competitions that are real time that I have been in would be drag racing and dance competitions.

Like the stage fright, when I stage for bracket racing [drag racing a car with a specific time slot to handicap your start while competing against another racer in the same situation according to the performance measurement of his / her car.] at the gate I get crazy panic anxiety where my hands shake on the wheel and I am sitting there scrutinizing myself. Like I do on stage, as soon as I launch the car, the panic breaks and there is a euphoria state.

If I did competitive gaming, I am certain I would have that temporary anxiety that I have in racing but it would break when I got started if I was doing a fighter game or other non-party game. I don't know if I could party competitively in a game tournament since I cannot even do newbie Titan right now in ffxiv without panic. [lol]

The anxiety that I get playing mmo's feels like disabling panic and it is directly linked to me not wanting to burden other people. My hands shake to where I can't hit my keys accurately, I have rapid heart in the throat heartbeat and I forget my macro keys. I honestly do not worry so much about their criticism of me because it cannot be worse than my own masochistic, self-scrutiny, it is just the fear or thought of burdening some one because I cannot perform my role in the party, that makes me panic and specifically in online games only during parties in battle.

[Roranora]

Best RDM or BLM NA until I'm given a stun order then I derp all over the place.

I'm no expert on anxiety, but I can echo the finding a mature guild/LS or what have you. Nearly all of us had several linkshells, often leaving the ones with people that would make us most uncomfortable.

I remember in my first LS, they dragged me out to an oops-Fafnir making me bail on my xp pt (I just hit Lv70/71? BLM). Then they berated me for not having enough gil for Water IV on the AH and for not being in DA already. Then I ate 1/8th & 1/4th resists like a gimp Lv70 BLM for an hour. I saved the day on Sleep Orders (lol) and still got yelled at along with all the dumb mages, after some RDM would pop ES like 8 seconds after I slept Fafnir.

Yeah, I left that LS. Every HNM was an uncomfortable session of yelling - and with poor advice. If you're gonna yell as an LS leader, at least get the plan together first.

[Cantih]

holy fuck, qft.

Abandon, just because you're awesome doesn't mean everyone else is or can be.

Eat a Snickers man.