Anxiety issues when playing games online, and especially MMOs...

[raginbull]

I've been looking for a suitable place to post this, and figured BG would be the best option for me. I've been playing MMOs for a long time, as have a lot of you guys, I'm sure. I decided to try out FFXIV 2.0 a couple of weeks ago. I like the game a lot, but the anxiety issues I've had in MMOs in the past are still an issue for me. I get nervous any time I'm in a situation where there is a spotlight on me. For example, if I'm asked to perform a specific action at a specific point during a fight, that causes anxiety for me. I worry about making mistakes. I get physical symptoms, like sweating badly and feeling super anxious. That hasn't happened yet in XIV, but it happened a lot when I played XI and WoW. I'm quite sure that in all of the guilds or parties I've been in, in any MMO that I've played, I've always been the quietest person in them. I rarely initiate discussions, and when I see people chatting in ls/guild chat, I don't usually get involved in their conversations. I often just type stuff out and end up deleting it. Also, whenever I got asked to use voip programs to communicate (which I think is pretty standard in endgame in a lot of MMOs), I would make excuses and say I couldn't use them. The actual truth was that I was too afraid to talk to anyone on them, lol. When I watch videos of people doing endgame fights, I find that I'm more impressed by how freely everyone talks, rather than by how skilled they are at the game.

I wondered if any of you guys have experienced any of this stuff. Any thoughts or opinions? I don't want to give up on MMOs, or even playing any games online, but this has been an issue for me for a long time now.

[BaneTheBrawler]

stop caring so much. they're randoms on the internet; their opinions are irrelevant to you.

[Mayareira]

Are these symptoms only occur when playing MMORPGs? From what I've read I don't think so.

I am no psychologist but I'd say the best way is to get out of your comfort zone in real life. I am sure we can assure you here that nothing will happen if you type and speak but you need to teach your brain to do that.

Challenge yourself, look at the activities calendar in your city and slowly blend. Once you are able to do this in real life, your online behaviour would likely follow I'd say.

Just like our tolerance to pain, we've also got a line of anxiety, which, when crossed, triggers a shitload of symptoms. Think like an engineer, train yourself to pull line further, raise the bar.

[Galkaeater]

Playing hearthstone made me anxious... but thats probably because there so much in that game thats out of your control.

[Mertron]

by any chance, are the people you play with horrible people? based on how you see them interact with other people/their "skill" in certain situations that demand particular actions like you noted. if so, perhaps finding other better people to play with could help. if not, maybe try finding a small group within the larger group to talk more comfortably with and working from there

or drink a lot

[The Stig]

Hm I get anxious in real life when placed on the spot, but only when speaking/performing in front of a large crowd (10+). While I will get a bit warm and stutter a bit, it takes a few mins to "shift" into me again and then go naturally.

This applied in-game too initially and I slowly realised that the other players are probably just like me, but just don't think about it. So in this case, when I played WoW, I levelled up as a DPS (Death Knight) where I had 0 responsibilities in dungeons. When I did start tanking (at level cap), and being the sole tank in the group, I was put in the "spotlight" (the tank usually sets the pace for dungeons), and I did fumble a lot, lose hate, and just generally wasn't comfortable for a while until I got good at it.

Then while playing my alt chars, or while playing more, level cap or not, I see people fuck up. A lot. Sometimes over dumb things. Then you realise, you're not so bad.

We're all human, human errors happen, that's just the way it is. The impressive thing was, even if you do screw up and they verbally assault you, and then leave, you never really know them, and they don't know you. And after a while, it just becomes depressing/sad when you see people that get extremely worked up over your mistakes and you realise the hostility and impatience (and probably how childish) some people are online (and god forbid, offline).

Just act modest, be yourself, be kind (up to a point) and don't be rude and people will generally accept you. Be willing to listen, learn, civilly discuss, etc

[Viq]

This is why I hate games with things like dungeon finder options. Make one mistake, and suddenly everyone else in your group is the best player the game has ever seen, and wants to ridicule you. Fuck that noise. Find a guild/LS that you fit with. Play with the same people for awhile. They'll be cool with you fucking up sometimes, because they do too, and they'll be more willing to take a wipe and try again if they know you.

tl;dr - find friends and play with them

[notorious bum]

Well, I never interacted much in any of the endgame LS either when I was playing FFXI. That's purely due to the level of phonies and egomaniacs(although, a Japanese endgame LS I stumbled in for my 3 months at PC launch was VERY friendly lol), not because I was shy. You might have more anxiety problems than me IRL, but anxiety never transferred over to my MMO life.

So, I'm going to co-sign the advice for finding a better group of people you feel comfortable with online. You can't force people to like you or talk to you, they're either too stuck-up or they're assholes. Endgame LS are very cliche-y. You have to keep in-mind that the majority of people who play MMOs are probably awkward motherfuckers IRL, too. Most of them are playing behind a persona that they've created online. I don't know how feasible it is in FF14, but you should do activities outside of large endgame grouping and find more casual peeps to hang with, you're likely not going to find comfort in most endgame LS groups if you just hopped on by yourself and aren't already close to any of the members. I always hated joining endgame LS that way.

[Mistress Stowastiq]

I've been looking for a suitable place to post this, and figured BG would be the best option for me. I've been playing MMOs for a long time, as have a lot of you guys, I'm sure. I decided to try out FFXIV 2.0 a couple of weeks ago. I like the game a lot, but the anxiety issues I've had in MMOs in the past are still an issue for me. I get nervous any time I'm in a situation where there is a spotlight on me. For example, if I'm asked to perform a specific action at a specific point during a fight, that causes anxiety for me. I worry about making mistakes. I get physical symptoms, like sweating badly and feeling super anxious. That hasn't happened yet in XIV, but it happened a lot when I played XI and WoW. I'm quite sure that in all of the guilds or parties I've been in, in any MMO that I've played, I've always been the quietest person in them. I rarely initiate discussions, and when I see people chatting in ls/guild chat, I don't usually get involved in their conversations. I often just type stuff out and end up deleting it. Also, whenever I got asked to use voip programs to communicate (which I think is pretty standard in endgame in a lot of MMOs), I would make excuses and say I couldn't use them. The actual truth was that I was too afraid to talk to anyone on them, lol. When I watch videos of people doing endgame fights, I find that I'm more impressed by how freely everyone talks, rather than by how skilled they are at the game.

I wondered if any of you guys have experienced any of this stuff. Any thoughts or opinions? I don't want to give up on MMOs, or even playing any games online, but this has been an issue for me for a long time now.

I am surprised to hear that others get anxiety too.
I have the same issue but only in battles in parties with others. [Likely because I read too many game forum posts about bad players and it shapes my perception about it LOL. ]

I'm a communicator, can chat for days and have no problems but in contrast, partying makes me nervous because I specifically worry about burdening others. I don't mind too much about opinions but it is burdening people that I wish to avoid. I have it bad enough to where I tend to solo most of the time, I'm backlogged in all my quests that require partying and have only rarely partied with people I know, who have been well informed of my situation ahead of time and still found the patience to give it a try with me.

I lose the nervousness only after I know my role with confidence and I communicate with the people I am playing with to make sure they know I have an anxiety about burdening other players.

.Like I said, only thing that works for me is to know my roles, my keyboard/macros and to communicate to others.

.When you feel yourself getting anxious take deep relaxing breaths and calm down. Not too deep as to make yourself dizzy but enough to calm yourself in a meditative way.

.Follow instructions of the party leader has them and don't hesitate to ask for more info if you need it.

.You might avoid speedruns until you have the content understood or can go with a pre made group.

.Join an LS or Free Company so that you can meet people who can pre make parties with you after knowing you.

.Let others know what you are going through and try to play in pre made groups of people you are familiar with until you feel confident enough to go into a randomly arranged party. Communication is important no matter who you play with.

.Don't be afraid to ask questions and find out the goals of everyone in your party. If people don't want to party with you after hearing your situation, it is probably better to have them not party with you to begin with and just stick to pre made arrangements until you get more confident.

.Its better to let people know before you go in with them, so they have an understanding and can choose whether or not they wish to be more patient with you.

.In FFXi I found a practice buddy who helped me with my first time partying. She was in my LS and offered after hearing why I kept refusing to party when asked. Once you break the ice by letting people know, you can practice without fear of ruining everyone's time.

Wish you luck and if I see you on my server, I'll party with you.

[Mayareira]

Posters above also got it spot on. Playing with a group of smart, mature-minded people is the best way to enjoy a MMORPG. That's what made XI fun for me, if I miss anything about MMORPGs it is the people I was playing with, whether it was random people I met in valkurm, or people in my endgame ls.

Everybody messes up sometimes. I mean I remember converting with poison on (stoneskin timer's fault!).

[Mazmaz]

It's your body's way of saying video games are garbage and a waste of time, and you should do something useful instead.

[Keria]

that is totally me. i freak out when i see a tradechat message for something i need in case i fuck up! it's definitely anxiety related, the only advice i have is = feel the fear and do it anyway. most random mouth breathers online think they are much better than they are so this is kind of the opposite and balanced view see also:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dunning...3Kruger_effect

also some Shakespeare - "The Foole doth thinke he is wise, but the wiseman knowes himselfe to be a Foole."

so really even if you do fuck up a little it will be expected tbh and no one will think less of you, chances are however if you do your research and focus people will think "THAT PLAYER IS AWESOME!" because statistically you are way way above average just doing what you are supposed to do.

[Rhyis.]

Start fucking up on purpose just to get it out of the way. Embrace your inner Leeroy.

I mean I remember converting with poison on (stoneskin timer's fault!).

Say word son... Nothing more embarrassing lol

[wipers]

I've been looking for a suitable place to post this, and figured BG would be the best option for me. I've been playing MMOs for a long time, as have a lot of you guys, I'm sure. I decided to try out FFXIV 2.0 a couple of weeks ago. I like the game a lot, but the anxiety issues I've had in MMOs in the past are still an issue for me. I get nervous any time I'm in a situation where there is a spotlight on me. For example, if I'm asked to perform a specific action at a specific point during a fight, that causes anxiety for me. I worry about making mistakes. I get physical symptoms, like sweating badly and feeling super anxious. That hasn't happened yet in XIV, but it happened a lot when I played XI and WoW. I'm quite sure that in all of the guilds or parties I've been in, in any MMO that I've played, I've always been the quietest person in them. I rarely initiate discussions, and when I see people chatting in ls/guild chat, I don't usually get involved in their conversations. I often just type stuff out and end up deleting it. Also, whenever I got asked to use voip programs to communicate (which I think is pretty standard in endgame in a lot of MMOs), I would make excuses and say I couldn't use them. The actual truth was that I was too afraid to talk to anyone on them, lol. When I watch videos of people doing endgame fights, I find that I'm more impressed by how freely everyone talks, rather than by how skilled they are at the game.

I wondered if any of you guys have experienced any of this stuff. Any thoughts or opinions? I don't want to give up on MMOs, or even playing any games online, but this has been an issue for me for a long time now.

Advice go outside. Find a hobby that doesn't include sitting on your ass playing video games.

[The Stig]

Embrace your inner Leeroy.

On the subject of fuck ups, I was in a free company (LS) group for Titan Hard.

I went in as backup tank as the main tank was her first time tanking.

At one point, I thought she was gonna die. So I provoked in advance to get some hate. It just happened to be before table flip. So due to bad timing (as everyone stacked for stomps), Titan turned and wiped everyone including me because defiance was off and DPS gear (ilvl70~)

I went bright red in real life. Still was funny as shit though.

But yeh learn to laugh over it, as long as you're not significantly hindering the group (i.e. fucking up over and over and over to the point it becomes a bit aggrovating). FC lot was decent to boot (Lucavi + co) so ... that's also important. Everyone laughed it off as it was a bit sudden.

[Tagus]

You probably have social anxiety disorder. its the second most common mental disorder after depression. its caused by a chemical imbalance in the brain... essentially a trigger (in your case its the stress of the game you're playing) sets off a chain of events in your brain that produce the symptoms you're experiencing. Zoloft worked wonders for me when I had a similar situation caused by stress from work. Its causing you to have anxiety attacks. Talk to your doc.

[Koul]

Whenever I joined a BG in WoW for the first time I about had a panic attack. I was shaking uncontrollable, heavy breathing and just freakin out. I only joined because someone asked me to invite them so they could get an easy warp to stormwind (since I queued) said I would never do it again but I kept forcing myself because once I found a class I enjoyed pvping with, I was having fun.

It's all about confidence. Try to remember it's just people on the internet and who cares what they think/say/do/whatever. I know, easier said than done. It's a process to work on. It's kind of like conquering your fear, the more you put yourself into the situation the better you'll get. Making this thread is a great step. It's all just a game and it's okay to fuckup a couple of times if you have a specific duty on fights

[Titanss]

xanax.

[SamanosukeShiva]

happens to the best of us, my advice is stop giving fucks, or find other groups to play with/you're comfortable yelling at/be yelled at, or other MMO to play, or even other things to do that doesn't make you feel anxious. The moment you stopped having fun, it's your cue to move on to something else.

Also, agreed with Mayareria, sounds like this anxiety problem also applies in RL, in which case get help, IRL.

[Jefe]

I'd get the opposite of you whilst playing in front of a crowd, it was exhilarating. Oops, half of my post was gone. Yeah, why don't you exercise, practice some yoga and meditation? Kick it w/ friends, go out bask in the sun.