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  1. #61
    Salvage Bans
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    I panic badly at being on spotlight in RL with people I don't know and even doing some seemingly simple things like phonecalls to strangers (just. can. not. do. them.), I am absolutely rubbish in making new friends quickly but MMOs have generally been a relaxing experience for me. Until FFXIV and duty finder that is and all this time I thought I was the only one panicking at duty finder. Everything else about XIV is awesome but duty finder... urgh. I have found familiarity and knowledge (including learning what I could of the instances BEFORE going) to be the biggest help for my duty finder anxiety. I started FFXIV on ARR release as WHM and really didn't enjoy it at all first as any duty finder stuff was just hugely stressful and left me shaking and heart thumping so I couldn't sleep till like 3am by when I finally physically calmed down and just having the whole "if you fuck up now everyone dies and it's all YOUR FAULT" ringing in my ears euugh. Being strangers over the internet also seems to give some people the false license to act like absolute inhumane cunts which doesn't help. Also as a n00b I didn't recognise situations where there really was nothing I could had done as a healer to save it so kept blaming myself for no reason. The 4-man instance limit and rigid class roles after years of playing FFXI where roles are much more flexible and other jobs can take over/have your back when shit hits the fan was a steep learning curve. No more bards or red mages to toss occasional backup cures, no more monks or samurais to be able to take a few hits for a bit when the tank DCs. It's all on your shoulders if your job should be the tank or healer and oh my god you better pay attention!

    Then I went and picked up DRG and BLM instead and found it a lot easier to just be a sheep dps, follow peeps around until I learn the ropes in a dungeon, stab the stuff others were stabbing and after new year I even dared to go level WAR and take charge in easier content. I just outright asked for help if I need it, started dungeons off with "not entirely familiar with/don't remember all the details, please say if I'm going the wrong way" and slowly got my confidence up while getting WAR to 50. It wasn't always easy but damn when I got to the point where I knew a dungeon well and could just stroll through it like a park on sunday it felt goooood. I suppose it was my way of coping with having to be bundled with three random strangers to do it in the first place, if I can't know the three people I need to at least know every mob pop and nook and cranny of the place I am in. Inability to chat freely while doing events in XIV also sucks, you just have to bash abilities or dodge the "floor is lava!" so quickly you can't usually get a word in sideways. You enter an instance with strangers and you leave as strangers with bare good evenings and bye byes between you.

    Having a mature LS/FC helps immensely too, I am 100% fine doing any content no matter how new to me or difficult with any of them because I trust if something goes wrong they discuss strategies and we can talk about the event afterwards instead of shouting abuse and quitting in a hissy fit and everyone vanishing into the aether like so often happens on DF. And just being able to trust in their sensibility makes everything instantly relaxing. All of this worked for me at least but then as mentioned my anxieties are more relating to dealing with people unknown to me that DF just made worse with the game's added pressures.

  2. #62
    GATTACA!
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tagus View Post
    Yeah... its a real thing. If you dont have similar problems, its hard to understand... and you should probably consider yourself fortunate for never having experienced it. In my case, it started when I was being bullied at work. I couldn't beat the shit out of the guy because I'd lose my job, but he wasn't stopping. I started to have anxiety attacks... my face would get flushed, my hands would start to sweat and shake uncontrollably... which is bad when you're working with syringes all day.

    The physiological responses, once your brain is pushed that far, can then trigger from other things as well. I started having anxiety attacks during office meetings, for example. In this case with video games causing it, its happening because there are very few differences in the way our brains process information between reality and virtual reality. That's why people love video games, TV, porn, etc. so much. We know in our minds that its not "real", but the same areas of our brain process the information whether its real or not.

    Ultimately, the point is to get help. It may not improve on its own, and may start effecting other aspects of your life. Since I've started taking meds I could give 2 shits about the asshole bullying me, and I'm actually borderline friends with the guy. The interesting thing has been realizing that everyone around him has trouble dealing with him, and he pulls his crap to get his way because he's insecure. Its been an enlightening experience for me... and there's no way I could have pulled myself out of it on my own.
    uh do you have an HR department

  3. #63

    Used to have severe anxiety both in MMOs and worse irl, also severe depression. Still have a little anxiety here and there but after taking medication for it, it's a lot better. I'd totally look into consulting someone about a medication and trying a few to find one that works for you (I went through 3 or 4 before settling on the right type+dose).

  4. #64
    BG Medical's Student of Medicine
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    Quote Originally Posted by Grey Jorildyn View Post
    Psychotherapist chiming in here. I specialize in mood and anxiety disorders.

    You can "deal" with anxiety in two ways. Both have already been suggested, but the outcome you want is what will determine the mode of treatment. If you're looking for a way to move past it because you find it annoying or simply cannot function acutely then psychiatry may be a preferred method here. You'll take some meds every day, deal with some side effects (or not if you're lucky) and probably see a reduction in the thoughts and maybe the physiological reactions, if any. If you're looking to find a more permanent solution that may teach you new ways to cope with this anxiety and even future anxiety, then psychotherapy is the option you're looking for. You'll have to do a lot of talking, go more often, but if your therapist is good, you can walk out being a better person who has greater insight about yourself after every session.

    Ideally you want both however. Studies have shown time and time again that medicating the short-term while attending therapy to understand underlying motivations to mental illnesses simultaneously is the optimal approach to every problem we can treat in psychology. Remember this: you don't just feel anxious because the spotlight is on you. You feel anxious because your mind has developed a maladaptive connection between situations in which your performance is emphasized and the fear of reprisal from outcomes (that may be negative, hence being nervous). It could be there is a single triggering event. It could be the anxiety is a culmination of a number of smaller events that came together to form this behavior. It could just be chemical (but in your case it does not sound that simple). There is always an answer and you have it, it's just hidden away from you, somewhere in the deepest corners of your mind. The journey to finding the answers can be very insightful and very exciting. Plus it can and will change you into a more resilient person in the end.

    Find a good one-stop center with behavioral health and see a psych. It is very likely they will refer you to an in-house therapist for treatment planning and if they do you should try it. In the meantime you should start keeping a journal of each time it happens and describe the situation, strength of emotion, and duration of the anxiety. This will help establish a baseline and allow a psych to provide a better starting dose, generally speaking. I think I just gave you homework. EOB is in the mail.
    This guy knows his stuff.

  5. #65
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    I do what I can.

  6. #66
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    Quote Originally Posted by BaneTheBrawler View Post
    stop caring so much. they're randoms on the internet; their opinions are irrelevant to you.
    Shut your stupid fucking face up retard. Just because you tell someone to stop caring so much doesn't make them stop caring; it just makes you seem like the rest of the low IQ faggots lurking the internet giving bullshit advice. Did I mention you're a retard?


    User was infracted for this post.

  7. #67
    Ridill
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    Indeed, your powers of observation and method of delivery are razor sharp, but can you see why kids love Cinnamon Toast Crunch?

  8. #68
    Relic Shield
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    lol, so much rage for something said more than a year ago. Can you show me on this sock puppet where Bane touched you?

  9. #69

    Seems weird to sign up just to post that, yes?

  10. #70
    Tekki's Bitch
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    Pretty sure this is some extreme meta pseudo sarcasm trollin afoot.

  11. #71
    The Shitlord
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    Quote Originally Posted by ShuttheFup View Post
    Shut your stupid fucking face up retard. Just because you tell someone to stop caring so much doesn't make them stop caring; it just makes you seem like the rest of the low IQ faggots lurking the internet giving bullshit advice. Did I mention you're a retard?
    stop caring so much, internet random

  12. #72
    i should really shut up
    You can safely ignore me I am a troll

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    Quote Originally Posted by SathFenrir View Post
    Indeed, your powers of observation and method of delivery are razor sharp, but can you see why kids love Cinnamon Toast Crunch?
    Think I love you for that post.





    But that gives me an anxiety attack.

  13. #73
    I'm almost as bad as Mazmaz
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    I'm hoping one year later the OP socked it up and went troll

  14. #74
    BG Medical's Student of Medicine
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    Incoming Arthur Ashe award for that poster's bravery.

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