Calling bg gays: Question about the "h" word.

[Ksandra]

I learned today that LBGT find the word "homosexual" to be an extreme insult, but that "gay" was ok.

NY piece on it:

mobile.nytimes.com/2014/03/23/fashion/gays-lesbians-the-term-homosexual.html?referrer=&_r=1

I found it rather interesting because all my life I have heard gay being an insult and homosexual being the pc term.

I know there's a lot of LBGT people on bg, so I figured I'd ask if in your experience how true (widespread among the community) it is. I am surprised I have never heard of it until today. I have used homosexual a lot because I thought it was like the proper scientific term for it. But I definitely don't want to step on toes.

Another thing I heard was that "queer" is now ok, but I don't think I could ever get into the habit of using it.

[Fievel]

thread title made me think you were going isla on us

[Ksandra]

thread title made me think you were going isla on us

LOL, nah, I'll edit it to try and clarify. I could see how it could be seen as that.

[GoggleHead]

Offensive terms are now acceptable and acceptable terms are now offensive. There's just no pleasing some people.

[Wulfgang]

Homosexual the literal scientific definition of the sexuality preference (akin to "asexual" or "heterosexual"); I don't think there is a more PC moniker. That said, after living in DC for three years and meeting many gay friends, I've found that just not using a moniker period is the way to go. Socially, there generally hasn't been much need to make it clear that said person is of a certain sexual orientation. In academics / sociological analysis / etc. where the delineation is required, heterosexual is the moniker of choice from what I've seen.

[synistar]

I would guess calling them transgender would be the most scientific and PC way of saying that a person is gay. Being from a science background, gay has always been the slang term and has the more negative connotation compared to homosexual.

And I always thought "queer" was one of those words that they can only use within the transgender community just like "nigger" and its derivatives for the black community. I would never use that word since 'queer' has always been a negative identifier. Gay still is a negative identifier, but it's growing more neutral as the LBGT community is becoming more socially accepted.

I also don't care about the sexual orientation of people in general though so I don't sling those terms around much. Gender identity and race doesn't make anyone more or less a person.

[Cairthenn]

It's really just a context thing tbh. You have no reason to be overly formal/technical describing someone in a social setting, bit abstract. It'd be like a guy addressing you as female, which is just weird

[tyven]

This goes well with people that get upset about the word retarded. Sup with that

[Zetanio]

I was so worried about this thread.

Keep sucking cocks, we're all good here.

[Koul]

None of em offend me. Even faggot doesn't offend me. If you say homosexual and some queer gets offended than they can go in the corner and bitch more. It all depends on the person and it's not up to you to know who is sensitive to the word or not. You could say the word gay, queer or homosexual (all of which are pretty PC) and a group won't care yet be with another group who will go bananas on you.

This proper word usage is garbage. There is no right word to use for a group and it needs to be handled on a person-to-person basis as some use potential slurs to empower themselves. I'm a huge proponent for reclaiming words instead of telling people they can't say it. I'm probably a minority in the gay community though which is why I don't delve too deep in it

[Kohan]

It's really just a context thing tbh. You have no reason to be overly formal/technical describing someone in a social setting, bit abstract. It'd be like a guy addressing you as female, which is just weird

This is basically it. It's awkward, that's all. It is the descriptor most commonly used by detractors, yes, but a gay person would probably think you were adorable for respectably saying "homosexual" before they'd believe you were using it negatively. It is, however, 100% true that "homo" has always been considered insulting, which is part of the reason there's that whole fervor over the "no homo" phrase.

What's weird, though, is your thinking "gay" was a derogatory term—I've never known that to be the case, and historically, I don't think it has been. While bigoted individuals may have employed "gay" as a slanderous word, I do not believe it has ever been considered offensive to gays themselves.

I would guess calling them transgender would be the most scientific and PC way of saying that a person is gay. Being from a science background, gay has always been the slang term and has the more negative connotation compared to homosexual.

No. You're conflating gender identity with sexual orientation. Being gay does not mean you're transgender. As such, "gay" is fine. The negative connotation you're talking about is due to people using the word hatefully, not due to the word itself being inherently bad.

And I always thought "queer" was one of those words that they can only use within the transgender community just like "nigger" and its derivatives for the black community. I would never use that word since 'queer' has always been a negative identifier. Gay still is a negative identifier, but it's growing more neutral as the LBGT community is becoming more socially accepted.

This is also wrong.

Historically, and unlike the word "gay," "queer" was absolutely considered a pejorative term, but it hasn't been that way for over thirty years. That, and as you were with the first-quoted comment, you're allowing deliberately negative usage to color your perception of a word. Saying "gay is still a negative identifier" is not only wrong because it already wasn't, but is additionally wrong because it isn't now either, and "queer" is also fine.

I also don't care about the sexual orientation of people in general though so I don't sling those terms around much. Gender identity and race doesn't make anyone more or less a person.

Whitewashing does not make you a more tolerant person. It's considerably worse to say "people are people" than it is to recognize that we're a diverse society. This type of statement is similar to saying "I don't see color," and it is not helpful.

http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/...is-form-racism

[test123]

In many countries proper term is Homophile

[Not Kuno]

It's 2014, people will get offended regardless of what you say.

[Kohan]

It's 2014, people will get offended regardless of what you say.

Most people won't, because most people don't have radical overreactions to ordinary interactions. This doesn't mean it isn't important to be considerate.

[Uzor]

Personally, I'm not offended by any of them. Like someone said before, it depends on the context. Adding the word "Fucking" before any of them makes it a lot more offensive, even though I personally don't really care about it.

Honestly though, living in Sweden I don't have much problem with it. People don't really care if you're anywhere on the LGBTQG or whatever scale. Now that I think about it though, if someone asks me, or if I tell someone about it, I ususally do refer to myself as "gay" over "homosexual". Ususally people ask "Are you gay?", and not "Are you homosexual?", but I suppose that could simply be because saying "gay" is easier than saying "homosexual".

The only time I've ever ran in to problems being gay was surprisingly during gay pride, where I was not allowed to have my extremely stylish pride flag face paint at a club, because it would apparently offend straight people.

Also;

This proper word usage is garbage. There is no right word to use for a group and it needs to be handled on a person-to-person basis as some use potential slurs to empower themselves. I'm a huge proponent for reclaiming words instead of telling people they can't say it. I'm probably a minority in the gay community though which is why I don't delve too deep in it

This I agree with 100%. I always say the same thing, and I always get flamed for it.

[Meresgi]

It's really just a context thing tbh. You have no reason to be overly formal/technical describing someone in a social setting, bit abstract. It'd be like a guy addressing you as female, which is just weird

Weird? Yes. An insult of any kind? Not really, unless you have an adams apple and short hair with stubble on your chin.

[Acevalefor]

Weird? Yes. An insult of any kind? Not really, unless you have an adams apple and short hair with stubble on your chin.

To be fair, I have seen a few people who I was not sure what sex they were. It didn't help that one person's name was Kelly...

[Psion]

I've not found homosexual to be offensive, although i agree being called homo raises a red flag for me that the person is probably hostile. That said, being asked if im homosexual raises a yellow flag for me thinking the person may or may not be hostile to gays but is trying to be polite, or has very little experience knowing someone who was gay.

I've never been offended by being called gay myself, although calling ::things:: gay or a situation gay tends to make me wince. I usually just joke about not associating me with such things.

Being called the F word on the other hand, tends to elicit an evil eye from me, though thats because i was bullied as a kid and called that word all the time. (and this when i was still a christian and before i hit puberty, so it was an even nastier blow to discover i really was into guys at the time.)

[Cream Soda]

I generally just say gay; and only when it's relevant to the conversation.

Guy friend: Your friend Samantha is cute, is she single?
Me: Yes, but she's gay.

Fuck that Political correct bullshit. I'm not gonna say homosexual, queer or anything else. Just call it what it is. It's like the people who try to call me African American while I'm sitting there, face-palming

[Zetanio]

I generally just say gay; and only when it's relevant to the conversation.

Guy friend: Your friend Samantha is cute, is she single?
Me: Yes, but she's gay.

Fuck that Political correct bullshit. I'm not gonna say homosexual, queer or anything else. Just call it what it is. It's like the people who try to call me African American while I'm sitting there, face-palming

You're clearly Asian-American. We all know that.