Long sob story, but I just wanted to post this to hear from other folks on here who have had similar experiences and how you've coped with the loss of your pet.
My loyal JR/Scottish Terrier companion of almost 16 years, just passed away after a battle with what I and the vets have deduced, most likely, of renal failure.
This past year she went from having lowered appetite, to lethargic behavior, and this past week, having problems vomiting. The last 2 days she went into a constant state of nausea and restlessness. Her eating and drinking had stopped and only had a few sips of water and homemade turkey soup broth.
What sort of made my situation more difficult than it should've been is that I am living in deep poverty and only had a few hundred dollars between me and my mother, whom I live with. When she could no longer sit up on her own, we got her to an emergency vet and he told us we had to pay around $1k to test and do IV's. She had a high-grade fever at the time, so all I could do is take her back home and attempt to break it and see if she improved over the night. We ended up finding a free clinic coupon for a vet inside Petsmart this morning. They were willing to split the blood work cost if we wanted to test her, but I knew that would be fruitless at this point.
The rough part there is that was not when we said goodbye to our dog, the clinic wanted $177 just to euthanize. We had no choice but to carry her limp body back out and drive home. From there, I went searching for a place that could help us put her to rest. We found the Humane Society, which will not turn anyone away, if you cannot afford the $70 for their service. I expected a very cold and shabby clinic that processed requests, honestly, but was pleasantly surprised at the empathy and care they provided, from receptionist to the nurse who led us to the dimly-lit and peaceful room.
I couldn't go through with staying until the last second, but I did say my goodbyes, tears were shed, and I left her with a "Night-night, Missy." as I looked in her eyes and exited with a feeling of emptiness. I take comfort in the fact she went without feeling unbearable pain and that she lived a really long and mostly healthy life. What sucks is that we have another 12 year old JR that I'm also very close with (I'm a bit of a recluse and I have undoubtedly spent 90% of my life next to them), it's probably going to be harder when I notice these same symptoms, but at least we'll have even more time to prepare.
Thanks for reading my story. I reposted this on a forum where I was able to garner a ton of good advice and information that led to my acceptance of needing to let her go.