Rest in Peace, Rachel (aka hey)

[Antithesis]

Incredibly sad to hear. May she rest in peace.

[Acevalefor]

Maybe she went to 4chan to give herself the push she needed to actually do it. It would not be the first time that that horrible place has facilitated the death of a severely depressed person. Whatever her reason for going there, it makes me wish that she had not been run off of BG over petty feminism and transgender misunderstandings and ignorance. maybe there was nothing that could be done. I am a big crybaby though and I find myself very saddened by Rachel's death. I keep wishing she was back on here so I could have many more arguments with her.

[Aksannyi]

Maybe she went to 4chan to give herself the push she needed to actually do it. It would not be the first time that that horrible place has facilitated the death of a severely depressed person.

She has been in a bad place for a long time. I don't think 4chan made her do it any more than any other place pushed her toward it. When you're that low, you're not thinking about places like BG or 4chan. I don't think she went there for justification or anything. Someone posted the thread that she had posted in (in another thread, I think it's the one in Spam) and it looked like it was just a passing comment she'd made, something like "Well no worries if you don't like me I'm gonna kill myself anyway" or something like that.

Basically, I think she was already there before she ever went to 4chan. She obviously thought about it long enough to schedule a tweet, so I wouldn't say that internet trolls necessarily were the cause.

[Hitoshura]

Maybe she went to 4chan to give herself the push she needed to actually do it. It would not be the first time that that horrible place has facilitated the death of a severely depressed person. Whatever her reason for going there, it makes me wish that she had not been run off of BG over petty feminism and transgender misunderstandings and ignorance. maybe there was nothing that could be done. I am a big crybaby though and I find myself very saddened by Rachel's death. I keep wishing she was back on here so I could have many more arguments with her.

Your post made me remember she randomly called me out a few times with anything that she didn't agree with in certain threads, gaming or non-gaming related. I noticed she did that to anyone, that was pretty cool sometimes, definitely always an interesting read. So I have to say myself, going to miss that random "hey" person. Not so random afterall.

[Spicyryan]

The 4chan posting isn't so much of a mystery.

Why do we post here? Same reason one does there except with more toxicity.

[SamanosukeShiva]

RIP, very unfortunate loss in the BG community.

[Kuishen]

I saw this on the Games subreddit and thought I recognized the picture but couldn't quite place it, came on here and saw this thread. Honestly had no idea she was a developer for Dolphin.

Didn't talk much, didn't agree with much of her world views, but nobody should ever have to feel like taking their own life is the best option.

RIP.

[Celeras]

I did not know or interact with hey at all to my recollection, but it looks like she got Maz banned. So she is cool by me.

R.I.P.

[Sho]

Many more articles around:

http://www.vocativ.com/culture/lgbt/...mmits-suicide/

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/arti...t-science.html

http://www.gamasutra.com/view/news/2...achel_Bryk.php

---

It always impresses me how the few quirky ones in BG are the ones who truly do some cool shit in the world. I honestly would have never known she was a Dolphin developer had this not had happened, unfortunately. However, it doesn't make it any less cool. An inspiration to many and more outside of this community -- who unfortunately treated her in less than positive ways overall. Just the honest truth of the matter there.

[Aksannyi]

Her pictures destroy me. She looks so sad in all of them. Reading the shit people have said makes me really angry but sadly, does not surprise me. People in general are fucking awful.

[Spicyryan]

To be honest I am disappointed in the media for making it into an 'internet trolls killed another person' sort of thing. Yes, it is tragic, but don't warp her pain and actions in the face of an unaccepting world (that was more accepting as a whole online) and turn it into how someone online said to go kick the bucket.

[Aksannyi]

I agree. It makes me sick to my stomach that they reduce her pain to just trolling. It was so much more than that.

[Nirokun!]

I don't know what to say. I type and delete over and over. We never spoke much, only about 6mo after I started hormones did we talk about her wanting to transition and being afraid of all of the bad things that could happen. I feel like a success story, and it was by NO MEANS easy. It sucks that despite the relatively small gap between us starting transition, the outcome has been so different. The burden she carried must have been that much heavier (chronic pain probably sucked so much away from her).

Take comfort, your body can never betray you again. Be free.

***********************************************

To anyone else reading this who is in our shoes:

Spoiler: show

This road is not easy. It does get easier, you just have to see it to that point. It will get worse before it gets better, and that's to be expected. Detach yourself from your peers' timelines of where you have to be in life and by when, know that whenever you start, you're just on time. We have our own timeline, (depression/considering it/planning/getting started/therapy?/hormones?/freedom/happiness/forgetting) (surgery in there somewhere, if you want it!). It more or less happens like that. It will be better. Frankly, I'm sure the whole lot of us should have a standing order for antidepressants, I take Wellbutrin/Bupropion, and I love it. Everything is easier and more manageable. Don't be afraid to take drugs to help you, nobody chooses this life willingly, we do because we have to.

You're not alone.

On a positive note, though: On the other side of things, shit's easy in comparison to everything else. I fell down the stairs last week, got all banged up. Sure I was bruised, sure it hurt, but did it *bother* me? Not really, it's nothing in comparison to stuff I've dealt with before. I got off the floor and went to work, like fucking Superwoman.

[Sho]

To be honest I am disappointed in the media for making it into an 'internet trolls killed another person' sort of thing. Yes, it is tragic, but don't warp her pain and actions in the face of an unaccepting world (that was more accepting as a whole online) and turn it into how someone online said to go kick the bucket.

It's sickening and annoying, but this is how the world works. Her "star" simply wasn't high enough to justify more thorough articles pertaining to her death. There will always be a degree of insensitivity for people like us, and Rachael, should we happen to pass on because we simply aren't well known in the nation and the world over. This world is so desensitized, we forget that everyone human life has parents, grandparents, loved ones, their own struggle, history and so on, despite if they are famous or not.

Despite this, if not for the Nepal story and the Baltimore story which are both ongoing, I'm pretty sure Rachael's story would have reached CNN & MSNBC.

[Spicyryan]

It's sickening and annoying, but this is how the world works. Her "star" simply wasn't high enough to justify more thorough articles pertaining to her death. There will always be a degree of insensitivity for people like us, and Rachael, should we happen to pass on because we simply aren't well known in the nation and the world over. This world is so desensitized, we forget that everyone human life has parents, grandparents, loved ones, their own struggle, history and so on, despite if they are famous or not.

Despite this, if not for the Nepal story and the Baltimore story which are both ongoing, I'm pretty sure Rachael's story would have reached CNN & MSNBC.

Personally, I took it from the angle of writing for an agenda. No one wants to read an article that "some trans living with pain and suffering their whole life for being true to themselves which no one has heard of committed suicide" and that they can up the sensationalism with 'tr0llz kill'.
That is the sad part of the world to me, but then again there are so many cracks to fall through that I am lead to believe civilization has failed as a whole.

[Thunder]

Yeah, I took it as that too. It's lazy + dishonest writing

here's an actual good read of the situation: http://thecolorffooff.tumblr.com/bluh

[Seshat]

I'm not very vocal in this community, but I've lurked here now for nearly 8 years. I've read so many threads and the debates held within them. Hey always had an opinion and fought for her beliefs. I never knew her personally, but as an observer she came off as quirky, yet intelligent. She had such strong will when butting heads with other BGers, it's unfortunate that it didn't carry over into her daily life. I know the struggles of daily pain, living with anxiety and depression. I've been to those dark places and attempts were made. Thankfully I was able to press forward, and I wish Rachel could have as well. RIP.

On a side note, I live in NY and usually bridge jumps are all over the news, especially the high traffic ones like the GWB. Strange I haven't heard about it. :/

[Spicyryan]

I'm not very vocal in this community, but I've lurked here now for nearly 8 years. I've read so many threads and the debates held within them. Hey always had an opinion and fought for her beliefs. I never knew her personally, but as an observer she came off as quirky, yet intelligent. She had such strong will when butting heads with other BGers, it's unfortunate that it didn't carry over into her daily life. I know the struggles of daily pain, living with anxiety and depression. I've been to those dark places and attempts were made. Thankfully I was able to press forward, and I wish Rachel could have as well. RIP.

On a side note, I live in NY and usually bridge jumps are all over the news, especially the high traffic ones like the GWB. Strange I haven't heard about it. :/

Give it time.

I have heard of things happening to people and then weeks later it is suddenly big news. Sometimes I think they just save it for a rainy day, but more likely than not it just has not germinated yet.

[BaneTheBrawler]

I learned of this on Friday, and kinda brushed it off as unconfirmed. Had shit to do, etc. Spent a very lovely weekend with family, making my great-nephews giggle and squeal.

And I come home to this. It's really hitting me a lot harder than I thought it might. I didn't really know Hey. Of course, I talked with her in GD and poopdeck, but never really outside that. I learned a lot from her. Being in the position I am in poopdeck, I can't help but thinking maybe there were something I could have done. Stomped on one of you fucking pieces of shit harder. Learned faster. Something.

[jmc]

I am so sad to hear about Hey's passing, even more so that it was by suicide.

I've had some really good interactions with her over the years, and I will miss her dearly.

I just want to mention to people that if you are feeling down, and thinking about self harm I am ALWAYS available to talk. No matter the situation, no matter the time I will always chat with BGer's (and anyone) in need. So please try and talk to me.