I need some advice..

[Aragon of Odin]

That sucks, and yea I came across some completely inept people too. I had one guy who was an actual Psychologist, and he fell asleep during his appointments. Actively talking he would fall asleep..... I came to find out later that it was a medical condition, but still.... If you have a medical condition like that you should not be working in a field in which your job is to listen and be responsive to your patients.

[Josiahkf]

Before it is stated, I just wanted to say I've been to a shrink/therapist and I don't know what to do.

Here lately my suicidal tendencies/extremely bad thoughts (no, not along the lines of murder) have been getting to me and I don't want to end up like another random obituary in the paper. I need to go to a doctor and request a medicine that can actually work to quell these thoughts I've been having.

I like to think I'm a rational personal, with rational thoughts. But I just want to know if anyone else has been in this position and know of medicines that can help.. control, I guess, these shitty feelings I've been going through. I go every day in a dead end job, with dead end ambitions it feels and I just have trouble coping with it. I have yet to be on meds before, even though I probably should have and am honestly wondering if there is anyone else out there that has been in my situation and know of advice to give me?

Feel free to disregard this post if you want.

Life really wears on me, tired of living in pain constantly and think about death a lot so I can somewhat relate.
Are you nonsocial and/or highly introverted at all?

[D44kpunk]

personally when i was feeling depressed the best cure for it wasn't the talking or the meds, it was just getting busy. i found that being bored and sitting at home doing nothing was the main source of my unhappiness.

finding something else to occupy your mind other than moping around was the best thing for me, maybe you already are a busy person, just my 2 cents.

[Hellfury]

Try to find a therapist you feel you can talk to. probably/maybe they'll suggest a combination of meds and therapy.
It's easy to forget that there's "different" depressions, the "typical" depression lasts for 3-6 months, but for others it can be for years, or for life (not what you want to hear, but it doesn't mean that such is the case for you)
What meds work for you is a trial and failure process, some people get lucky and get it on their first try, others need a few different ones. This should be tested with a professional health care worker, not on your own.
Maybe Remeron (mirtazapine) will do something for you, but be warned, that sleepy side effect is massive for the first period if you get it. You might spend a few days mostly sleeping at first.

[Spicyryan]

Life really wears on me, tired of living in pain constantly and think about death a lot so I can somewhat relate.
Are you nonsocial and/or highly introverted at all?

You and I both sometimes, Josi. . Just in different ways.

[Cliron]

You seem like an incredibly insightful person, but seem to be distressed with the thoughts that you can't work through and aren't comfortable with having.

I'd look at something to reduce the frequency and intensity of the thoughts for the interim while you work/reflect on the issues that might be precipitating them.

Discuss the intensity and distress these intrusive thoughts are having with a doctor and they may recommend drugs like a mood stabilizer or a low dose antipsychotic (e.g. risperidone; also read: anti psychotics at low doses have many uses outside of psychosis) for an interim period that ye are both comfortable with.

I witnessed a young woman at an acute day hospital two weeks ago with incredibly distressing 'bad' thoughts at a high frequency, who self disclosed feeling driven to death by suicide* as an option to alleviate the distress caused by the thoughts get her first night of 'good' sleep after being prescribed a low dose of risperidone and her seroquel being upped slightly. Her distress levels dropped remarkably, both objectively and subjectively.
Obviously drug factors are dependent on the person and the issues they are facing, but the take home point I'd make is that she was distressed by obtrusive thoughts and the doctor in conjunction with other mental health professionals helped her get through the 'touch and go' phase of things.


*Death by suicide is not known to alleviate obtrusive thoughts/anxieties surrounding these issues by anyone. There are actually scientifically known remedies for such issues though, such as seeking professional help, sorting out sleep cycle/food habits/exercise, seeking social support (not being isolated) etc etc.

[BaneTheBrawler]

Sadly that is my current reasoning, I've pretty much confirmed with myself if my Mother dies (only living relative that matters) which may not be much longer as she was recentlty diagnosed with a kidney disease of some sort, I'm going to off myself. Lol

Would the same thing not apply to your friends and more extended family? Idk, anytime I get into a funk myself, I end up thinking about how my parents and friends would react and imagine them going through the funeral crap and dealing with insurance and all that bullshit and i just... no. i'm not doing that to them. ever.

[Dimmauk]

Before it is stated, I just wanted to say I've been to a shrink/therapist and I don't know what to do.

Here lately my suicidal tendencies/extremely bad thoughts (no, not along the lines of murder) have been getting to me and I don't want to end up like another random obituary in the paper. I need to go to a doctor and request a medicine that can actually work to quell these thoughts I've been having.

I like to think I'm a rational personal, with rational thoughts. But I just want to know if anyone else has been in this position and know of medicines that can help.. control, I guess, these shitty feelings I've been going through. I go every day in a dead end job, with dead end ambitions it feels and I just have trouble coping with it. I have yet to be on meds before, even though I probably should have and am honestly wondering if there is anyone else out there that has been in my situation and know of advice to give me?

Feel free to disregard this post if you want.

Just wanted to say that you have your entire live ahead of you, and the job you have probably wont be the job you have forever. Stop living in the now. Have you tried your dead end job on weed? Also, there is nothing wrong with seeking professional help.

[Minions]

Any time I feel depressed I watch this video
"The Butterfly Child"
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iuYxGtuBSgk

Every time I watch it.... it reminds me despite how awful this kids life is he can stand all this pain and suffering every single day and still has the desire to live another day. He has one of the most positive outlooks I've ever seen. Don't watch the video if you can't stand some very, very graphic images though. The condition he has means he quite literately tears his skin just by being touched.

[Lebzile]

I have read through everyone's advice and I just wanted to thank everyone for their kind words, even the little jokes thrown around managed to make me smile a little bit.

[Zetanio]

I have read through everyone's advice and I just wanted to thank everyone for their kind words, even the little jokes thrown around managed to make me smile a little bit.

Hey man, I just saw this. Missed it on the initial posting.

Please please please please. Just talk it out. There are more than a few of us (myself definitely included) that want to talk to you and do whatever we can. Obviously, you should talk to someone who is a professional about all this but you are NOT alone.

This is going to be fucking corny and fucking lame but you are going to read it.

It sucks. Shit gets bad. Shit gets ugly. Shit gets to the point where you don't see a way out. As dumb and trite as it is sounds.

Make your way out. YOU are awesome. YOU can do this shit. Don't tie yourself to anyone and don't let anyone else dictate how you live.

You fucking rule. I don't even know you and I guarantee I have something to learn from you. You have shit to learn from me too.

Please just talk with anyone. I'm here. Other people are here. Please just talk to us. I want to hear what you have to say and so does everyone else. PM me, post here, tell me to eat a pile of dicks (I deserve it). Just don't ever fucking stop. Giving up isn't an option.

<3

[Patriarch]

Try to find motivation to change your situation. I know the feeling of having a shit job, and having fuck all for motivation. It is that trickle of motivation to start pushing yourself in a better direction. The hardest part is getting that ball rolling, but once you get moving, don't look back. Once you find yourself in a situation that makes you feel good, you will want to keep pushing in that direction. Life gets better, quality of life, the people in your life, etc.

I'm not the best with advice, so forgive me if I sound lame as fuck. I don't know where you work at, but if it is a job you hate, find a new one. Working at a job you hate is just a breeding ground for bad shit. I worked several years at a job that sucked, bad pay, entry level etc. I had enough and got my A+ for an IT job, which turned into a Net+, Sec+, and eventually a CCNA. IT not your thing? Hit up some skilled trades, you'd be surprised the amount of money you can make entry level swinging a hammer, welding pipe, running wire, etc. The possibilities are endless, and there are thousands of much better paying jobs out there, all it takes is some motivation and a good eye to find them. If I can do it, literally anyone can. Finding yourself in a job that makes you feel good about yourself just changes everything. I'm just a random nobody on here, but if you want to talk just shoot me a message.

[Kalmado]

A lot of people have already made great suggestions, but I really wanted to quote this below because it really is the truth. To try and relate with you, I currently am having a hell of a time getting a job. Have submitted over 40 applications, had 3 interviews, and have been waiting for two weeks on definitive responses from 2 of those. Every day that passes where I do not get a call or email that negative guy that's in the back of my mind will say things like, "you're a failure, no one wants you, you'll never get a job you really want" etc etc. The quoted post below is how I try to respond to myself. Some days are a lot harder than others, but every day will not be the same.

Hey man, I just saw this. Missed it on the initial posting.

Please please please please. Just talk it out. There are more than a few of us (myself definitely included) that want to talk to you and do whatever we can. Obviously, you should talk to someone who is a professional about all this but you are NOT alone.

This is going to be fucking corny and fucking lame but you are going to read it.

It sucks. Shit gets bad. Shit gets ugly. Shit gets to the point where you don't see a way out. As dumb and trite as it is sounds.

Make your way out. YOU are awesome. YOU can do this shit. Don't tie yourself to anyone and don't let anyone else dictate how you live.

You fucking rule. I don't even know you and I guarantee I have something to learn from you. You have shit to learn from me too.

Please just talk with anyone. I'm here. Other people are here. Please just talk to us. I want to hear what you have to say and so does everyone else. PM me, post here, tell me to eat a pile of dicks (I deserve it). Just don't ever fucking stop. Giving up isn't an option.

<3