Who Will Play the "Junior" Ghostbusters?
Tuesday 03/31/2009 12:30 PM by Eric Alt in The Movie Blog
In a recent interview promoting his upcoming movie Year One, director and Egon Spengler Harold Ramis confirmed that a third Ghostbusters film is, indeed, in the works and that the original crew—Ramis, Bill Murray, Dan Aykroyd, and Ernie Hudson—will return to mentor a new batch of baby busters. This, of course, has set the Internet ablaze with rumor and speculation, to which we will happily chuck a hefty can of unresearched, totally made up gasoline of our own. Check out our ideas for Ghostbusters 3: The New Batch.
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POTENTIAL TEAM 1
Christopher Mintz-Plasse, Seth Rogen, and Craig Robinson
Also Known As: The Apatow Gang
The initial rumors around GB3 claimed that Judd Apatow was going to be producing, which means the shortlist for casting quickly shortened even further. Apatow only uses about five different people in his movies, so this casting call is basically a no-brainer.
And, scene! In one sequence, Rogen mistakenly unleashes his positron collider on a cloud of bong smoke. Meanwhile, Mintz-Plasse's character discovers he's the illegitimate son of Louis Tully and Janine Melnitz.
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POTENTIAL TEAM 2
Jason Schwartzman, Owen Wilson, and Kumar Pallana
Also Known As: Bill Murray Calls in a favor to Wes Anderson
Murray's comedy career has gone in a much different direction since his Peter Venkman days—he's no longer the sarcastic cad, he's now the quietly sarcastic moper. Maybe his influence will steer Ramis to take a more quirky stab at ghost busting.
And, scene! The trio trap a ghost in a high school gymnasium, but fail to capture it when the ghost sits down and explains to them that he's not actually dead, just really, really bored. They all share a knowing sigh to the strains of obscure '60s rock.
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POTENTIAL TEAM 3
Bill Hader, Will Forte, Andy Samberg
Also Known as: The SNL Bump
The original Ghostbusters movie was meant to star Aykroyd, John Belushi, Eddie Murphy, and John Candy. Perhaps hoping to recapture the powerful potential of that SNL (and SCTV, the Canadian SNL) line-up, Ramis may well dip back into the Not Ready For Prime Time Players.
And, scene! Forte becomes possessed with the residual spirit of Zuul, requiring him to speak in funny voices and make funny faces. This goes on for most of the movie's running time. But, hey, Will Ferrell cameo!
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POTENTIAL TEAM 4
Zach Braff, Michael Cera, and John Krasinski
Also Known as: The Emo Ghostbusters
Ramis may very well buckle under the strain of studio pressure and be forced to "skew younger," which means the new crop of busters will mumble, shuffle their feet, and generally annoy Murray into phoning in another Garfield movie so he can continue to live in semi-seclusion.
And, scene! Cera stumbles on the ghost of an ex-girlfriend, leading to a painfully awkward interchange that ends when Cera is convinced to crawl inside the ghost trap himself. Krasinski looks at the camera an average of four times a scene.
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POTENTIAL TEAM 5
Greg Giraldo, Louis CK, and Jim Gaffigan
Also Known as: The Stand-Up Crew
Rather than plunge into the shallow waters of established movie comedy actors, the Ghostbusters producers decides to give some stand-up comics a break. Unfortunately, none of them can act, so the movie is forced to create scenarios in which the guys can just rehash their stand-up routines.
And, scene! …which means a final reel showdown against Demonic Hot Pockets, Porn stars, and Louis CK's wife.
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POTENTIAL TEAM 6
Maya Rudolph, Kristin Wiig, and Amy Poehler,
Also Known as: The Girlbusters
Perhaps Ramis will take a cue from the long-rumored (but nixed) Lost Boys sequel Lost Girls (or maybe Hostel II) and just redo the first movie but with a female cast. Watching Poehler and Rudolph struggle under the wait of proton packs would be funny enough, and as far as we're concerned Wiig should be in everything, always. And, hey! Tina Fey cameo!
And, scene! Hilarity ensues when the girls all discover they are dating the same guy: Dana Barrett's now grown-up son, Oscar. Making matters worse is that he's a huge commitment phobe and he's still marginally possessed by the spirit of Vigo the Butch.