_/ THE ORDER OF THE BLUE GARTR \_

It's no secret that SE's update details are rather hit-and-miss, but lately they've been truly appalling. We're all used to the first few being throwaway minor stuff but I mean, come on. You have to give us something. I do remember the dark ages of CoP, when update teasers were barely more than 2 or 3 extremely vague sentences (hell, more than half the content added in those patches wasn't even mentioned in the update notes). Don't get me wrong, I definitely don't miss the days of "We might be changing some stuff. And adding a place, but we might not," but there definitely comes a point where something substantive has to be said.

So, in an effort to help out our friends over at SE better cater to the desires of the community, I took the time to pick out some easy visual references for community reaction to this cycle of update notes so far. Hopefully this will give a sense of how the community reacts to certain kinds of news.

Version Update Notice!

New Campaign Elements!

Dancer and Scholar stuff!

The Story Continues!

Doll Festival!

New Equipment/Battle system changes!

Adjustments to Adventuring Fellows!

In light of all this, I would like to remind SE, and Japan in general, that here in America...We have Richard Mother Fucking Cheney. That is his real name. He changed it right after he fucked your mother. This guy can kill you with his mind. Do not toy with us.

I hope this has been informative.

Now on to things we've done this month. I've tried to spice up this section a bit, so be sure to read the captions and give me some feedback!

Bahamut V2

Dynamis

Einherjar

Flowah Powah~

Bailing Shiznicle out of jail for prostitution...again.

Ouryu!

Rectal exams!

And loot:

Even Aerides gets depressed changing to BST to show off her Monster Helm.

The chinstrap on Cadence's Nashira Turban made her feel silly posing for Bahamut's Staff.

Congratulation to Ceiyne on Bahamut's Staff, Homam Zucchetto, Scout's Jerkin, Warrior's Mask, and Wyrm Belt...Or is that his Mannequin? Herm...

Look at his face. Not even Assassin's Armlets could cheer up Gizmosan at that Fafnir. Nor Valor Leggings, nor Melee Cape.

Just one more operation and Gorion's transformation into Barney the Purple Dinosaur will be complete. Congratulations on Melee Cyclas, Warrior's Lorica, Saotome Kabuto, Homam Zuchetto, and Wyrm Belt.

Someone wanted Kazen's shiny Faith Torque and would stop at nothing to get it.

Khelek's search for enlightenment led him and Pastor Bee deep into the wilderness, where Ares's Cuirass can often come in handy. He left his Wyrm Armet behind.

Kiara demonstrates proper technique, and reminds you to always use Usukane Gote with unfamiliar clients. Make sure you take your Melee Cape to keep warm.

Kuno is goddamn pretty. Congrats on Summoner's Doublet, Morrigan's Slops, and the first H. Abjuration Legs (on all of Bahamut?).

Here we see Popeh shortly after further beating himself with an Ugly Stick. The Sorcerer's Gloves provided exceptional grip in this task. As did Koga Tekko and Sorcerer's Belt.

Ryphen uses her immense psychic powers to evade my wit, aided by her Deulist's Chapeau and Bard's Cannions.

Shiznicle, after the above mentioned incident is on the road to rehabilitation, but as you can see he has a long way to go. Especially when it comes to wearing Skadi's Jambeaux out in public.

Tearshang's Bahamut's Mask blocks his peripheral vision, so it's pretty easy to sneak up on him now. Also congrats on Nashira Manteel.

Tsukasaz mocks the world with a Homam Corazza he can't wear yet.

Honorable mentions not pictured here:

Sendoh: Summoner's horn, Koga Chainmail, and Monster Helm.

Fryte: Homam Cosciales, Sorcerer's Gloves, and Summoner's Spats.

Nickolias: Melee Cape.

Nikkei: Cleric's Duckbills, Valor Leggings.

And who has infused themselves with 20% more Lootwhore than the leading national competitor?

Slone!

Congratulations on Bahamut's Staff, Assassin's Culotte, Nashira Manteel, Summoner's Spats, Scout's Bracers, Valor Leggings, and Monster Helm.