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Order of the Blue Gartr: Gilgamesh Free Company Coil Adventures with Galkas Are Food! (12/16/13)

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Galkas Are Food is back with another update! A lot has gone on between now and the last update. Names are the same, races have changed, and dragons have been slain!

This update will focus on Turn 5, Twintania. First off, the kill video complete with 1999 Windows Movie Maker:


Here is another kill video from a different kill and DRG perspective:


Call us old men at this point, but our group was never in a rush to be world first or even server first. We decided to not even enter turn 5 and waste time/gil until another group proved it wasn't bugged; congrats to BG (Excalibur) on the kill! In total, we spent about 6 raid nights, or between 30-35 hours, learning the fight to getting our first kill.

I won't lie, after about 20 hours of defeat, all of us were left cursing this fight. I thought some of us were at the end of the line. Lola even took to shouting Gil Selling and Handwor< ads in shout. It was easily one of the most aggravating and rewarding fights I've encountered in any MMO, and sadly, some of us have played them all including RFO and Age of Conan.

If you're static is having issues with the fight, use this at motivation:


We kept what we called The Board. The Board was a tally we kept when someone would directly cause a wipe. I proudly present to you, the Top 5 on The Board:


  1. Gray
  2. The state of Colorado
  3. RNG
  4. Zant
  5. Everyone Else

Below I will outline what we defined as phases, issues we had, and then each member's contribution (or lack of) to the group


  • Phase 1: Twintania and Adds
  • Phase 2: Twintania to 85%
  • Phase 3: Conflag and Fireball
  • Phase 4: Divebombs and Snakes
  • Phase 5: Twisters and Dreadnaughts
  • Phase 6: Liquid Hell and Black Ball of Death

Group Composition:


A quick rundown of what gave us issues and how we resolved them:

  • The largest time sink we put into the fight was attempting to get Limit Break 3. To achieve this, we went from deliberately standing in Liquid Hell until our life bars were below 10% to having everyone in cleave range during Phase 2 and WHM spamming Cure III. This wasted about 12-14 hours of our time.

  • Conflag and Fireball timing changes each week with gear upgrades. We actually got Conflag and Fireball down pretty quickly and would adjust quickly each week. I've read that this phase has given other groups issues. From the first run until today, we take fireballs as 4>3>4>3>4. Our group has two pets; the off-tank is in on every 4 man fireball along with whoever is targeted.

  • Plebes who get hit by Twister. Resolution: Just kick these people out of your static! jk

And now...for each member's loot and contribution over the last couple of months:

Zantetsuken Vaevictus:

  • Allagan Ring of Aiming
  • Allagan Belt of Aiming
  • Allagan Gauntlets Of Striking
  • Allagan Choker Of Aiming
  • Allagan Earrings Of Aiming

Zant is best known for:

  • Getting hit by the most twisters
  • It is still currently unknown whether or not Zant caps Myto each week...

Welt All:

  • Allagan Spear
  • Allagan Ring of Casting
  • Allagan Trousers of Maiming
  • Allagan Earrings of Striking
  • Heavy Allagan Flanchard
  • Allagan Plate Belt
  • Allagan Earrings Of Maiming
  • Heavy Allagan Cuisses
  • Allagan Tassets Of Maiming
  • Allagan Ring Of Fending
  • Allagan Bracelets of Striking

Welt is best known for:

  • Raging on voice chat - "THE GOD DAMN WELTS!!!"
  • Not having Sword, or Shield, Oath up on a pull (It was only fucking once!!)
  • Winning the "Most Beautiful Miqo'te" contest on Gilgamesh. Editors Note: Only Welt actually ran in this competition.
  • Running into a wall

Soul Side:

  • Allagan Choker Of Maiming
  • Allagan Boots Of Casting
  • Allagan Bracelets Of Healing
  • Allagan Ring Of Striking
  • Allagan Ring Of Casting
  • Allagan Trousers Of Maiming
  • Allagan Gauntlets Of Aiming
  • Allagan Earrings Of Maiming
  • Allagan Bracelets Of Striking
  • Allagan Spear

Soul is best known for:

Lololol Lololol:

  • Allagan Bracelets of Striking
  • Allagan Circlet Of Healing
  • Allagan Tassets Of Maiming
  • Allagan Tunic Of Healing
  • Allagan Earrings Of Healing
  • Allagan Ring Of Healing
  • Allagan Sollerets Of Striking

Lola is best known for:

Luk Ayers:

  • Allagan Bracelets Of Fending
  • Allagan Plate Belt
  • Allagan Ring Of Fending
  • Allagan Ring Of Casting
  • Heavy Allagan Flanchard
  • Heavy Allagan Gauntlets

Luk is known for:

Gray Poupon:

  • Allagan Bracelets of Healing
  • Allagan Boots of Healing
  • Allagan Ring of Healing
  • Allagan Boots Of Casting
  • Allagan Earrings Of Casting

Gray is best known for

Cemmirri Sama:

  • Allagan Earrings of Striking
  • Allagan Cuirass of Aiming
  • Allagan Visor of Aiming

Cemmirri is best known for:

Wolfer Al'Tonko:

  • Allagan Gauntlets Of Aiming
  • Allagan Bracelets Of Healing
  • Allagan Ring Of Healing
  • Allagan Boots Of Healing

Tonko is best known for:

Lost to a Sinkhole:

  • Allagan Sollerets Of Striking x2


Special Thanks and Fuck You's!

  • Thank you to Harmonea Sinn and Rahvin Modulus

One night, two members of our static could not make it and our practice was cancelled:


I received a text from Soul, while laying in bed dying from a hangover, that he was going to shout and get two people for some practice runs. We ended up with Harmonea Sinn from the BG Free Company and a little fellow named Rahvin Modulus from shout. For whatever reason, on a couple of < 10% attempts, I started referring to Rahvin as Marvin in the heat of the moment. He shall hence force be known as Marvin in any future updates! We learned a lot on this practice run, so thank you to both of you.

Also, when Marvin first joined our Skype call, he had some audio issues and sounded like le robot. Our initial encounter with Marvin started like this:


Possibly linkshell rename to Infinite Cosmic Power? Time will tell...

  • Thank you to Windoge 8

Windoge 8 gets a serious thank you. Good dog.

  • www. bluegart3.com 3=r$$$$

100% Handwor< is always appreciated.

  • A big fuck you goes out to all the fish-tossing Apkallu out there. May you never RIP


  • The State of Colorado

The biggest of big FU's goes out to the state of Colorado. Please, fix your damn internet and/or flooding issues!!!



  1. Weltall -
    Weltall's Avatar
    Regarding the "Most Beautiful Miqo'te" contest, I still won
  2. bunz -
    bunz's Avatar