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Kalmado

I think I'm in the middle of a Catfish

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OK so it's 2018 and people being lying turds online is nothing new as we all know. But this situation got my wheels turning and I felt like talking about it. First, a little backstory about myself and the internet.

I'm 37 and my first online experience was the free AOL floppy disc on a X386 PC my uncle gave us (I think) when I was 17. It didn't work out. When I was 19 and living with my sister we had internet and about all I knew was Napster, Limewire, and not much else. I didn't own my own PC until I was 25. I purchased a Gateway laptop and started playing FFXI. The first forum I ever visited was Alkazam or however you spell it. It was then that I learned about trolling.

While online I've always just been me. I try to be helpful and honest and have no problem admitting when I'm wrong. When learning about FFXI and reading forums I got heavily invested in the Thief discussion on Zam. It was there I would get trolled into heated discussions and I learned about how people argue on purpose just to get a rise out of someone. This was confusing to me and I ended up not returning to that board.

Fast forward a few years where I find BG and understand internet socializing a little more and understand to not take things so serious. Fast forward to now and I also use Reddit for info and entertainment which has led me to the Catfish. I joined a subreddit for people that work in the insurance industry for info, discussion, and stories. Some of us form a chat because we're all in Michigan so we understand our laws and the troubles we face regarding auto insurance. I connect specifically with two people, one whom I chat with daily about work and b.s.. The other is the catfish we believe and they have left the chat but have been replaced with their coworker.

Instead of boring with details I'll sum things up as short as I can. The "girl" and her coworker say they both work for the same company as me. Well, I can't find the girl but I can find the guy. The girl is not found via the Department of Financial Services where anyone with an insurance license would be found. Numerous of the same likes, dislikes, and problems are near synonymous between the guy and girl. With more detective work this "girl" does not seem to exist but numerous stories the girl has said can be seen with the guy.

The obvious question is, why? Yes in the end it doesn't matter but it still gets my mind going. What happens to make a grown man create an alter female online persona to interact with others when the discussion is about work mostly is what goes through my mind. It also reminded me of what happened to a girl I used to date a lifetime ago.

I met Lisa in Canada when clubbing was popular in the early 00's. She also lived in Michigan and we'd talk on the phone and went on a few dates. We never became official and I met someone else. She ended up in the military. My friend Greg kept in touch with her as we were all mutual friends. In 2010 I was hanging out with Greg and he tells me I'm not going to believe what happened to Lisa. After her tour she met a guy and they got married. She had a kid with him and all seemed fine. One day he forgot to log out of a page and Lisa pulled it up. Her husband had been pretending to be a teenage girl online and was having online hookups with what appeared to be grown men. She got a divorce.

I've never known a true sociopath in my life. From everything I've read about the catfish is they share many similar traits as a sociopath. Many times people create this alter ego to fulfill something they are missing in life. Maybe it's looks or a lack of self confidence. Or maybe they just like manipulating people or feeling a sense of power. But with the anonymity the internet affords us it could be anything. Whatever the reason the catfish uses it confuses me why they would spend so much time and energy into such a project when if they invested that into themselves they could achieve greatness.

Or, maybe people are just shitheads.

Comments

  1. Twilight Sky -
    Twilight Sky's Avatar
    I'd expect something like that to happen while everyone is millions of miles apart. Never while in the same workplace where you can get called out in person.
  2. Kalmado -
    Kalmado's Avatar
    Quote Originally Posted by Twilight Sky
    I'd expect something like that to happen while everyone is millions of miles apart. Never while in the same workplace where you can get called out in person.
    That's what the other guy and myself were saying. With a small amount of detective work it's not hard to figure things out. The entire situation is weird and it got weirder this last week with the guy that works for my company constantly asking the other guy for his phone number or trying to hang out but he supposedly has a wife and three kids.
  3. Kalmado -
    Kalmado's Avatar
    To follow up on this somewhat the "girl" user from Reddit has deleted their account it appears. All comments or messages are from [Deleted]. The guy hasn't chatted in a few days. I'm just glad he hasn't reached out to me through work channels.
  4. Madeline -
    Madeline's Avatar
    What happens to make a grown man create an alter female online persona to interact with others when the discussion is about...
    At the core, it's the strong desire to be a female, without the willpower or means to make it a reality in a manner you would be comfortable with, I think. It ends up terribly misguided and this is one of a few paths that some land on when the mind isn't happy with an assigned at birth gender. At a point everything blurs in together and the "when the discussion is about" part, becomes "everything" so long as any repercussion is dodged.

    I don't think some of them even realize how fucked up they've become; there are communities online that get off on this type of stuff, and plenty of people practice doing it for the thrill and free shit they're able to get.

    I tend to notice that they're divided into several types:
    - Those that find it sexually exciting, primarily using it for eroticism. I lump the thrill seekers in with this lot.
    - Those that find it a coping mechanism, feeling as if they're able to be who they were meant to be. Misguided feelings seeking an outlet.
    - Those that do it to embarrass or collect information for blackmailing
    - Those that simply find women receive a lot of free shit on the internet if they try even a little bit. Often bragging how far they'll get "without producing a picture."

    There are some fucked up people in the world. All of the above are pretty damn scummy and there are better outlets for your fucked up behavior that don't involve other peoples' livelihood. If I had to guess, he's having a fun ride and is probably posting about the experience somewhere to a bunch of supportive weirdos that also get off on it.

    What I never understood is, the endgame is the same no matter how you play it. You'll only go as far as the person you're involved with will let you. It's self destructive as it could possibly be psychologically. Why do this type of thing to yourself? You will never come out unscathed.


    Fantasies are an amazing part of the human brain. Drives more people toward madness like this more than anything else in the human psyche.
  5. Kalmado -
    Kalmado's Avatar
    Quote Originally Posted by Madeline
    At the core, it's the strong desire to be a female, without the willpower or means to make it a reality in a manner you would be comfortable with, I think. It ends up terribly misguided and this is one of a few paths that some land on when the mind isn't happy with an assigned at birth gender. At a point everything blurs in together and the "when the discussion is about" part, becomes "everything" so long as any repercussion is dodged.

    I don't think some of them even realize how fucked up they've become; there are communities online that get off on this type of stuff, and plenty of people practice doing it for the thrill and free shit they're able to get.

    I tend to notice that they're divided into several types:
    - Those that find it sexually exciting, primarily using it for eroticism. I lump the thrill seekers in with this lot.
    - Those that find it a coping mechanism, feeling as if they're able to be who they were meant to be. Misguided feelings seeking an outlet.
    - Those that do it to embarrass or collect information for blackmailing
    - Those that simply find women receive a lot of free shit on the internet if they try even a little bit. Often bragging how far they'll get "without producing a picture."

    There are some fucked up people in the world. All of the above are pretty damn scummy and there are better outlets for your fucked up behavior that don't involve other peoples' livelihood. If I had to guess, he's having a fun ride and is probably posting about the experience somewhere to a bunch of supportive weirdos that also get off on it.

    What I never understood is, the endgame is the same no matter how you play it. You'll only go as far as the person you're involved with will let you. It's self destructive as it could possibly be psychologically. Why do this type of thing to yourself? You will never come out unscathed.


    Fantasies are an amazing part of the human brain. Drives more people toward madness like this more than anything else in the human psyche.
    All I have to say is amazing post. Thank you for sharing.
  6. RaulFarnsworth -
    RaulFarnsworth's Avatar
    I hope you all will be well bro, it is a pity that sometimes the Internet becomes not only a great helper, but also the main enemy. Recommend read this articles [URL="https://www.computerhope.com/issues/ch001808.htm"]https://www.computerhope.com/issues/ch001808.htm[/URL].