ISLABLAG: IN WHICH AUNTIE IS REVEALED TO BE LITERALLY HITLER
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on 2013-11-04 at 12:59 (19493 Views)
[Fade-in on a typical day in Darkest Carpathia; upon the Throne of Skulls Auntie Isla is browsing' some forums, bannin' some jerks. There is a jump cut to the computer screen, where we read:]
[Camera returns to our glorious mediatrix]Originally Posted by some jackass
"It warms the heart to see the adoration and, indeed, admiration of my subjects," I say, monologuing as I'm wont to do. "But such statements strike a chord -- what if they're just saying such things? What if, and it pains me to even consider it, they're exaggerating, and the forums aren't actually akin to the government of the National Socialists?"
[Close up of my awesome face, looking concerned]
"How," I ask, in a somewhat rhetorical manner but with every intention of answering my own query, "can I absolutely and utterly ruin everyone's fun? And not just sort-of ruin, but enact, with malice aforethought, such heinous and draconian laws that the righteous among us will have no other choice but to cry out that BG has become, without a hint of hyperbole, Nazi-fucking-Germany?"
[Pause for effect]
"The answer, of course, were I to truly wish to bring about the rebirth of the Third Reich … an 'Islareich', if you will … (note to self, write that down) would be to do exactly as that terrible monster Adolf Hitler did, and begin to mercilessly ban people for saying racist, sexist, and other hateful things! YES! Ban people for racism! JUST LIKE HITLER!"
[maniacallaughter.wav]
[Fade scene]
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Hello jerks, dears, friends who are dear jerks, farty babies, &c.! On this the glorious dawn of our ETERNAL REVOLUTION, I greet you! NEW RULES have come down from on high to get up in your business! There could even be FABULOUS PRIZES*! Oh this is exciting. So GET THE FUCK DOWN, SHUT THE FUCK UP, and get ready to get your dome-piece peeped by the realest of real talk. TO WIT:
RACIST, SEXIST, AND HATEFUL LANGUAGE IS NOT TOLERATED ON THESE FORUMS
Note to self: should have blingee'd that shit.
*There are no prizes.
For the vast majority of the userbase of these forums, this won't be an issue, because you don't say hateful, disgusting shit. Unfortunately, there is a loud minority of shitfuckers who do say hateful, disgusting shit, and make our forums entirely hostile to anyone who is even a remotely decent human being! Fuck them! They're assholes, and they're getting banned! Yay! Because, and this fills me with ineffable joy to share with you, NO ONE HAS TO TOLERATE INTOLERANCE!!! God that's so fucking rad.
There is an unfortunate tendency to think it's only racist when you say "nigger" with intent to be hurtful. This is what a dumb baby thinks! Racism is racism whether you're just kidding, saying it around 'cool' people [read: racists], or are pig-ignorant! HATE SPEECH HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH INTENT.
So what about these new rules? How do they totally ruin everything awesome about BG (which I guess in this instance would mean racism and misogyny? wow that's fucked up, wtf is wrong with racist assholes)? Let's take a look at the new rules, and then do a Q&A so that dumb babies who think hate speech is awesome can get relentlessly mocked for being shitasses.
Seems pretty cut-and-dry, I think. If it makes sense to you, congratulations! You're a decent human being who's pretty cool. If these rules bring to mind objections, but-what-abouts, how-comes, or thats-not-fairs, FUCK YOU, you're likely a whiny shitass baby who thinks racist, sexist, and other kinds of hateful language constitutes a valid contribution to society. Also you're probably a fuckface, an asshole, and a shitty, useless, cowardly person and no one except other shitfuckers will miss you! Holy fuck this is cathartic to write out, I can't even tell you. So let's do a Q&A !!!Originally Posted by NAZI HITLER RULES FOR NAZIS
QUESTIONS AND ANSWERS FOR THE FRIGHTFULLY STUPID
1. I'm an ignorant baby, how do I know that something I'm saying is racist/sexist/&c.?
Good question! If you're a dumb baby. Honestly it's the year of our Lord 2013, you cannot seriously be this stupid to not know when you're saying something fucking awful. But let's pretend, for a minute, that you are in fact frightfully stupid.
If you find yourself making a sweeping generalization about a type of person, you're almost 100% guaranteed to be saying something fucking disgusting and awful. So: don't!
2. That kind of self-awareness is far beyond my capabilities. Will you write out a detailed list of what is and isn't hate speech so I can follow the letter of the law and not the spirit?
No, fuck you! It's not my job, or anyone else's, to teach you how not to be a shitfucker. It's actually your job to not act like a shitass racist! And if you fuck up you're banned!
3. Why is this a problem when [other thing] is still around?
Waiting for there to be no problems to take care of problems is really fucking stupid when you think about it. The existence of a worse thing does not obviate our duty to deal with a (maybe) lesser bad thing.
4. Why is this suddenly being enforced now? It's never been that big of a deal before!
Man, this one sucks, because I honestly have to say that I and a lot of others were content to ignore it. In my case, at least, it was because I was being kind of a coward. I was allowing myself to be cowed by shitty people because I didn't want to get shit on myself. And then I realized that fucking sucked, and that if I was so uncomfortable with it as a goddamn admin, it had to be a million times worse for someone who can't ban people with utter impunity! So I needed to step up and tell people to stop saying shitty racist shit. Plus it feels really good to ban shitfucking racists!
5. I don't want to get banned!
Don't say hateful shit you dumbass. Jesus fuck it's not hard.
6. This is going to ruin [my favorite thread / forum]! Also, free speech!
Good! Because 'ruin' in this case means making the forums available and welcoming to people who want to participate, regardless of their background, gender, or sexual orientation. That is my favorite kind of ruining !!!
As far as free speech goes, you absolutely have the freedom to say whatever you want! However free speech does not protect you from the social consequences of your speech, which can include being banned for being a fucking shitass, or called out on being an ignorant fuckface! Both of which will happen!
7. What should I do if I see someone using hateful language on the forums?
Holy shit an actual question! If you see someone using hateful language, report the post! Feel free to also tell them that their language is fucking disgusting, because remember: NO ONE HAS TO TOLERATE INTOLERANCE.
In conclusion,
Love,
Auntie Isla
p.s. fuck asshole racists/sexists and people who apologize for them