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ISLABLAG: IN WHICH AUNTIE IS REVEALED TO BE LITERALLY HITLER

Rating: 15 votes, 3.93 average.
[Fade-in on a typical day in Darkest Carpathia; upon the Throne of Skulls Auntie Isla is browsing' some forums, bannin' some jerks. There is a jump cut to the computer screen, where we read:]

Quote Originally Posted by some jackass
Its like nazi germany up in this piece
[Camera returns to our glorious mediatrix]

"It warms the heart to see the adoration and, indeed, admiration of my subjects," I say, monologuing as I'm wont to do. "But such statements strike a chord -- what if they're just saying such things? What if, and it pains me to even consider it, they're exaggerating, and the forums aren't actually akin to the government of the National Socialists?"

[Close up of my awesome face, looking concerned]

"How," I ask, in a somewhat rhetorical manner but with every intention of answering my own query, "can I absolutely and utterly ruin everyone's fun? And not just sort-of ruin, but enact, with malice aforethought, such heinous and draconian laws that the righteous among us will have no other choice but to cry out that BG has become, without a hint of hyperbole, Nazi-fucking-Germany?"

[Pause for effect]

"The answer, of course, were I to truly wish to bring about the rebirth of the Third Reich … an 'Islareich', if you will … (note to self, write that down) would be to do exactly as that terrible monster Adolf Hitler did, and begin to mercilessly ban people for saying racist, sexist, and other hateful things! YES! Ban people for racism! JUST LIKE HITLER!"

[maniacallaughter.wav]

[Fade scene]


____

Hello jerks, dears, friends who are dear jerks, farty babies, &c.! On this the glorious dawn of our ETERNAL REVOLUTION, I greet you! NEW RULES have come down from on high to get up in your business! There could even be FABULOUS PRIZES*! Oh this is exciting. So GET THE FUCK DOWN, SHUT THE FUCK UP, and get ready to get your dome-piece peeped by the realest of real talk. TO WIT:

RACIST, SEXIST, AND HATEFUL LANGUAGE IS NOT TOLERATED ON THESE FORUMS


Note to self: should have blingee'd that shit.




*There are no prizes.


For the vast majority of the userbase of these forums, this won't be an issue, because you don't say hateful, disgusting shit. Unfortunately, there is a loud minority of shitfuckers who do say hateful, disgusting shit, and make our forums entirely hostile to anyone who is even a remotely decent human being! Fuck them! They're assholes, and they're getting banned! Yay! Because, and this fills me with ineffable joy to share with you, NO ONE HAS TO TOLERATE INTOLERANCE!!! God that's so fucking rad.

There is an unfortunate tendency to think it's only racist when you say "nigger" with intent to be hurtful. This is what a dumb baby thinks! Racism is racism whether you're just kidding, saying it around 'cool' people [read: racists], or are pig-ignorant! HATE SPEECH HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH INTENT.

So what about these new rules? How do they totally ruin everything awesome about BG (which I guess in this instance would mean racism and misogyny? wow that's fucked up, wtf is wrong with racist assholes)? Let's take a look at the new rules, and then do a Q&A so that dumb babies who think hate speech is awesome can get relentlessly mocked for being shitasses.

Quote Originally Posted by NAZI HITLER RULES FOR NAZIS
The Human Decency Clause

The use of language or posts that deliberately discriminate against, insult, or demean an individual or group is forbidden. We cannot stop you from being an ignorant bigot in the privacy of your own home, but your right to express such opinions is trumped by our right not to be exposed to them. If you cannot participate in discourse without relying on hateful language, you will be banned from this site.

There are a very few circumstances where arguments may be made that certain offensive terms are used in a humorous context. In such cases the user may or may not be banned or infracted. This will be completely and utterly subjective and based on the mod reading the post at the time. Use at your own peril.

The Catch-All:

Shitty posts are against the rules, even if they do not explicitly ‘break’ a rule. Don’t be a rules-lawyer. If you find yourself typing “but what rule, exactly, did I violate”, it’s this one.

Spam:

Forums marked as 'spam' are granted some degree of leeway in this regard. Spam is the cool place to hang out. You can find most of the cool people there. In Spam you can just chill and do whatever and totally relax. "Take it easy" is the Spam motto, for example, that's how laid back it is there. Show up if you want to have a good time. Another good reason to show up is if you want to hang out with friends. Note: while leeway is available within spam, it is not outside of it. Stop being racist shitbags.
Seems pretty cut-and-dry, I think. If it makes sense to you, congratulations! You're a decent human being who's pretty cool. If these rules bring to mind objections, but-what-abouts, how-comes, or thats-not-fairs, FUCK YOU, you're likely a whiny shitass baby who thinks racist, sexist, and other kinds of hateful language constitutes a valid contribution to society. Also you're probably a fuckface, an asshole, and a shitty, useless, cowardly person and no one except other shitfuckers will miss you! Holy fuck this is cathartic to write out, I can't even tell you. So let's do a Q&A !!!


QUESTIONS AND ANSWERS FOR THE FRIGHTFULLY STUPID

1. I'm an ignorant baby, how do I know that something I'm saying is racist/sexist/&c.?
Good question! If you're a dumb baby. Honestly it's the year of our Lord 2013, you cannot seriously be this stupid to not know when you're saying something fucking awful. But let's pretend, for a minute, that you are in fact frightfully stupid.

If you find yourself making a sweeping generalization about a type of person, you're almost 100% guaranteed to be saying something fucking disgusting and awful. So: don't!

2. That kind of self-awareness is far beyond my capabilities. Will you write out a detailed list of what is and isn't hate speech so I can follow the letter of the law and not the spirit?

No, fuck you! It's not my job, or anyone else's, to teach you how not to be a shitfucker. It's actually your job to not act like a shitass racist! And if you fuck up you're banned!

3. Why is this a problem when [other thing] is still around?

Waiting for there to be no problems to take care of problems is really fucking stupid when you think about it. The existence of a worse thing does not obviate our duty to deal with a (maybe) lesser bad thing.

4. Why is this suddenly being enforced now? It's never been that big of a deal before!

Man, this one sucks, because I honestly have to say that I and a lot of others were content to ignore it. In my case, at least, it was because I was being kind of a coward. I was allowing myself to be cowed by shitty people because I didn't want to get shit on myself. And then I realized that fucking sucked, and that if I was so uncomfortable with it as a goddamn admin, it had to be a million times worse for someone who can't ban people with utter impunity! So I needed to step up and tell people to stop saying shitty racist shit. Plus it feels really good to ban shitfucking racists!

5. I don't want to get banned!

Don't say hateful shit you dumbass. Jesus fuck it's not hard.

6. This is going to ruin [my favorite thread / forum]! Also, free speech!

Good! Because 'ruin' in this case means making the forums available and welcoming to people who want to participate, regardless of their background, gender, or sexual orientation. That is my favorite kind of ruining !!!

As far as free speech goes, you absolutely have the freedom to say whatever you want! However free speech does not protect you from the social consequences of your speech, which can include being banned for being a fucking shitass, or called out on being an ignorant fuckface! Both of which will happen!

7. What should I do if I see someone using hateful language on the forums?

Holy shit an actual question! If you see someone using hateful language, report the post! Feel free to also tell them that their language is fucking disgusting, because remember: NO ONE HAS TO TOLERATE INTOLERANCE.


In conclusion,
Love,
Auntie Isla

p.s. fuck asshole racists/sexists and people who apologize for them

Comments

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  1. Nynaeve -
    Nynaeve's Avatar
    My Auntie is the greatest Auntie and talks the realest talk.
  2. The Blackrose -
    The Blackrose's Avatar
    For those who need a rolling tally, the following were used in this blog:

    Fuck: 24
    Shit: 20
    Some form of ass: 10
    Insults involving intelligence: 8
    Jerk: 3 (Isla, you're slacking)
    Racist/Misogynistic Verbology: 0

    Yeah, I made up a word. Deal with it. And deal with these rules, too.
  3. Alleya -
    Alleya's Avatar
    Speaking on behalf of ignorant shitspewing fart babies who live inside toilets and drink gatorade for every meal, I am extremely offended by the notion that I should ever stop for a moment to consider what my words might mean to another person. Seeing as how I am a handsome 480lb 20something with impeccable fashion sense (read: fedoras with tshirts), I can safely say that I am immune to all criticism, and you're just getting bent out of shape over nothing because you are a white knight and/or a feeeeeeeeeeemale. You see, my identity is so wrapped up in solipsistic notions of individuality being entirely predicated on disregarding the thoughts and feelings of others, especially those who are different from me, that any attempt at introspection is a direct assault on my personal well being and my inalienable rights as a person who exists in the world (btw those rights don't apply to you because). If I am forced to contemplate my own sadsack existence for longer than the amount of time it takes me to confuse my ignorant received knowledge with sagacity, I might be forced to realize that I am not the only person who exists in the world and would realize that my opinion is ultimately meaningless and my childish, petulant outbursts about marginalized groups are really the product of fear and not wisdom.

    In closing, I would like to quote the words of Richard Dawkins in saying that aiovwjoiaaoigbwa

    okay sorry, I'm a medium and sometimes I channel the spirits of the incredibly stupid, sorry about that every one how do I delete this I'm not good with computes PM me if you know how to delete this
  4. Abandon -
    Abandon's Avatar
    i just don't want an influx of stupid invading spam, we have our own issues to deal with as is.
  5. isladar -
    isladar's Avatar
    Shit, I don't want racists in spam, either! We'll have to tell them to fuck off with that shit.
  6. Aksannyi -
    Aksannyi's Avatar
    I respectfully disagree about spam, speaking from the point of view of someone whose gone there, been told to get out, and stopped going because of it.
  7. Omniyoji -
    Omniyoji's Avatar
    Quote Originally Posted by Alleya
    Speaking on behalf of ignorant shitspewing fart babies who live inside toilets and drink gatorade for every meal, I am extremely offended by the notion that I should ever stop for a moment to consider what my words might mean to another person. Seeing as how I am a handsome 480lb 20something with impeccable fashion sense (read: fedoras with tshirts), I can safely say that I am immune to all criticism, and you're just getting bent out of shape over nothing because you are a white knight and/or a feeeeeeeeeeemale. You see, my identity is so wrapped up in solipsistic notions of individuality being entirely predicated on disregarding the thoughts and feelings of others, especially those who are different from me, that any attempt at introspection is a direct assault on my personal well being and my inalienable rights as a person who exists in the world (btw those rights don't apply to you because). If I am forced to contemplate my own sadsack existence for longer than the amount of time it takes me to confuse my ignorant received knowledge with sagacity, I might be forced to realize that I am not the only person who exists in the world and would realize that my opinion is ultimately meaningless and my childish, petulant outbursts about marginalized groups are really the product of fear and not wisdom.

    In closing, I would like to quote the words of Richard Dawkins in saying that aiovwjoiaaoigbwa

    okay sorry, I'm a medium and sometimes I channel the spirits of the incredibly stupid, sorry about that every one how do I delete this I'm not good with computes PM me if you know how to delete this
    We get it white-boxed slut, lol

    *note that wasn't hateful or sexist (inside joke). The unrelated funny part of that is that I'm not inside! lolololololololololololololololol
  8. Caiyuo -
    Caiyuo's Avatar
    4. Why is this suddenly being enforced now? It's never been that big of a deal before!

    Man, this one sucks, because I honestly have to say that I and a lot of others were content to ignore it. In my case, at least, it was because I was being kind of a coward. I was allowing myself to be cowed by shitty people because I didn't want to get shit on myself. And then I realized that fucking sucked, and that if I was so uncomfortable with it as a goddamn admin, it had to be a million times worse for someone who can't ban people with utter impunity! So I needed to step up and tell people to stop saying shitty racist shit. Plus it feels really good to ban shitfucking racists!
    This strikes a chord with me because it absolutely the case and for you to admit it that you felt the same thing brings a certain comfort and is encouraging as hell. It's not fun or awesome to face the fact of behaving cowardly, especially when you don't realize it right away, but it's important and I feel way better and well-equipped to actually enact the silencing of shitjerks when I can say "other people dealt with this, but the important part is to recognize and fucking fix it."

    You are the best.
  9. Abandon -
    Abandon's Avatar
    Quote Originally Posted by isladar
    Shit, I don't want racists in spam, either! We'll have to tell them to fuck off with that shit.
    i don't think we have any legitimate "racists" in spam, i think more often than not it's them doing it to say if people get offended/mayad.

    Sexists, well... Church hates women, that's a known fact.
  10. Bregor -
    Bregor's Avatar
    Spam:

    Forums marked as 'spam' are granted some degree of leeway in this regard. Spam is the cool place to hang out. You can find most of the cool people there. In Spam you can just chill and do whatever and totally relax. "Take it easy" is the Spam motto, for example, that's how laid back it is there. Show up if you want to have a good time. Another good reason to show up is if you want to hang out with friends.
    Many a'rofls were had. I, for one, welcome our new same-as-before Auntie overlord.
  11. Qalbert -
    Qalbert's Avatar
    Quote Originally Posted by Aksannyi
    I respectfully disagree about spam, speaking from the point of view of someone whose gone there, been told to get out, and stopped going because of it.
    THE SYSTEM WORKS
  12. Omniyoji -
    Omniyoji's Avatar
    LOL
  13. Abandon -
    Abandon's Avatar
    Quote Originally Posted by Qalbert
    THE SYSTEM WORKS
  14. Mazmaz -
    Mazmaz's Avatar
    Canada is exempt though right?
  15. Izzy -
    Izzy's Avatar
    Best part of Our Queen's post:

    http://i.imgur.com/upajfft.png
  16. Pirian -
    Pirian's Avatar
    About fucking time.
  17. galkaindaclub -
    galkaindaclub's Avatar
    long time lurker

    Firstly, thank you for this blog post Isladar; it's important and needed to be said. I also feel that your own acknowledgement towards the apathy of yourself and others towards speaking up (for fear of reprisal?) is admirable, but I wonder if you should go a step further.

    We're all mostly guilty of this at some form of another on the internet. You're not an exception as you've used language in the past that I'm sure homosexuals would not appreciate. So rather than approach this as someone reprimanding all the forum farty babies, perhaps you would communicate this message more effectively by understanding that saying shitty things is not the same as being awful racists and bigots (for most people).

    Your message is correct but condescending; this is something that everyone needs to be cognizant of to be better posters and better people.
  18. Zetanio -
    Zetanio's Avatar
    What the fuck is going on here?
    Who pissed Isla off?
    What color is this?
    Who runs Bartertown?
    I can't make good jokes anymore. This is fucked. You guys are ruining BG.

    I LOVE YOU
  19. Sylvrdragon -
    Sylvrdragon's Avatar
    This rule is Racistist. It discriminates against racists!

    lol, jk. Mama raised me right. She said not to hate people who don't give you a reason, and even if they DO give you a reason, keep it to your fucking self.
  20. hey -
    hey's Avatar
    So, uh, when is the ban avatar going to be changed?
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