NFL Week 2: An 87% chance...

[Tyche]

only 13% of NFL teams that have started 0-2 have gone on to make the playoffs. 13%. So, who falls into the dreaded 0-2 hole?

Against the spread picks, week 1: 7-7-2

Pittsburgh at Tennessee (-5) - Two teams that started 1-0. One looked really good, the other, not so much. Regardless, the Pitt defense looks to be incredibly healthy. They completely shut down Michael Turner. Now, I don't think Turner is Chris Johnson, but he isn't a slouch either. I honestly think Pitt can contain Chris Johnson (as much as one can). The game will fall onto the shoulders of Vince Young. I think Young is good enough to eek out a win, but I love Pitt +5.

Miami at Minnesota (-6) - This game is my lock of the week. I know, you think bias, but it's not. Minnesota has spent an entire offseason with one game circled on their schedule. A thursday rematch of the NFC championship. I don't know if I've ever seen Peterson run as hard as he ran in New Orleans. The Vikings had extraordinary play everywhere outside of the WRs. That was a huge emotional letdown for Minnesota. Now, Minnesota gets a home game after a huge letdown. They will be facing an elite offensive line that will make it difficult to get a lot of QB pressure. The Minnesota secondary is banged up. Pierre Thomas gashed the defense when I came in. An argument I've heard is that "Well, if New Orleans only scored 14 against them, and Miami could only put up 15 against Buffalo, then...". Well, the transitive property doesn't work in the NFL, or virtually any sport. Different coaches, different matchups, and certainly a different state of emotion here. I've been critical of Brandon Marshall, but I love him in this game, and I love the Miami backs. I don't think Peterson is going to have a huge gae, but you have to start him in any fantasy league. Miami pulls the upset here and the Vikings drop to 0-2.

Arizona at Atlanta (-6.5) - If I were to play in a survivor league, this would be my pick this week. Atlanta came off a devastating loss to Pitt in overtime after not having a great game. Arizona held on to beat a weak St. Louis team. Atlanta has playoff aspirations, and I think they'll feel a huge sense of urgency in this game. I love Atlanta to cover.

Baltimore at Cincinnati (+2.5) - Yes Headspace, you are reading this correctly. After beating Baltimore twice last season and after Baltimore has a rather poor sowing in a win last week, they have managed to be a road favorite against the team that swept the division just one year ago. How? Simply put...revenge. Both teams have improved on offense, but Cinci didn't look like their defense of yesteryear last week. The Ravens looked like classic Ravens. The second playoff team from last year starts 0-2 as Baltimore covers.

Kansas City at Cleveland (-2) - Another game I love. I really think KC is on the up and up. They looked pretty damn good (outside of Cassel) last week. How the hell did such a terrible QB do so well in NE? When the magnificent Brody Croyle gets behind center, this team is going to have playoff aspirations. If KC can handle SD on the road, I see no reason they can't take Cleveland at home. KC wins.

Chicago at Dallas (-7.5) - This is the huge spread, and it's an 0-1 favorite playing a 1-0 team. Dallas has to feel urgency in this game to prevent going into the 0-2 hole. 13%...I really like Dallas to get focused for this game and pull out a win. A big win. Dallas covers.

Philadelphia at Detroit (+6) - It looks like Vick will be starting this week, and god damned if he didn't look absolutely electrifying last week. This week, he plays a pretty week Detroit team. Even though the team isn't great, the Detroit front 7 isn't a bad crew. Vick may be on his feet a bit more than he was last week (which would be absurd with his 100+ yard rushing game last week). I like Suh to chase Vick all over the field, Suh fails to catch him and Vick runs away with a close game. Detroit +6.

Buffalo at Green Bay (-13) - It's a tarp! Buffalo has a really good secondary. Third against the pass last season iirc. Their weakness was the run, where they ranked in the bottom 3. Unfortunately, the Green Bay starter just went down for the year. I'm not saying Buffalo is going to win this game, especially on the road, but man, that's a huge spread. Green Bay to win, Buffalo +13.

Tampa Bay at Carolina (-3.5) - Vegas really has little to no faith in...well...whoever is starting at QB in Carolina. Tampa Bay may be one of the worst teams in the NFL and Carolina is only a 3.5 point home favorite. Well, I have a little more faith in Matt Moore than Vegas and a hell of a lot more faith in Dwill and Jstew. Carolina to win and cover.

Seattle at Denver (-3.5) - This may be the hardest pick for me this week. I raelly like Seattle. Last week, they were my upset special, and they came through. I love energetic "players" coaches in the first few weeks of the season. They do a very good job of making their team believe they are better than they really are. I'm going to reluctantly take Seattle to win this game outright.

St. Louis at Oakland (-3.5) - Oakland was everyone's surprise darling for a decent season. Now, after just one week, they are only managing a 3.5 point favorite against St. Louis at home? What happened in one week, did they look that bad? St. Louis didn't look bad, but let's be real. They were playing a weak defense that lost two of it's best players in the offseason. I think Bradford may have a little bit of a tougher time handling Oakland. I like Oakland to win and cover.

Houston at Washington (+3) - Two teams with some (somewhat) surprising wins last week. The Redskins defense showed that they're pretty damn good. Are they good enough to stop an Arian Foster than ran like a man on fire last week? Houston beat down an Indi team with very little from their passing game. Not that they needed it. Are we looking at an identity shift to balance for Houston? I think Washington really really wanted that home win against Dallas. Much more than Dallas. I think that was Shanahan's statement game. I think they may let down their guard this week. Houston wins and covers.

New England at NY Jets (+3) - This game started out as a 1.5 point spread to NE. Now it's 3. NE looked really really good against a really really good secondary. They don't really have to worry about NE's passing game, which one could argue is NE's weakness. Are the Jets going to play as bad as they did last week? I sure don't think so. Is Tom Brady going to look as sharp as he did last week? Yeah, I actually think so. I've voiced my opinion in other places regarding my assessment of how Moss is going to play. I think NE destroys the Jets in this game. The third playoff team from last season starts 0-2. Bring on the paper bags fireman ed.

Jacksonville at San Diego (-7) - After a disappointing loss to KC last week, the Chargers need to rebound to get out of that 0-2 hole. It isn't like the Chargers really played bad in this game. Rivers had a really good game and Matthews didn't look too bad in his opening affair. I think San Diego bounces back here and wins big. Noone in San Diego (or their stadium for that matter) see it.

NY Giants at Indianapolis (-5) - Manning bowl II? Right? Indianapolis hasn't started 0-2 since Manning's rookie season many moons ago. I really don't see Jacobs or Bradshaw pulling a Foster here. We've already gotten the Sanders injury out of the way, so that distraction is gone. Despite the G-men looking pretty damn good last week, I really can't see Indi dropping 2 strait after essentially pulling a 2007 Patriots last season. Indi wins and covers and we cut to Dungy and Archie masturbating in the NBC studios.

MON, SEP 20

New Orleans at San Francisco (+5.5) - How the hell did New Orleans essentially get an almost 2 week break from football? They payed on Thursday last week and on Monday this week. That's a hell of a long layoff. That layoff coupled with the dreaded "Monday Night home underdog" that Vegas fucking hates really starts to point toward a San Fran win here. I think Singletary gets his boys fired up for this game and pull off a monster monday night upset.

[Headspace]

I will rape your face.

[Tyche]

Ahh, I knew that was coming

http://www.bluegartr.com/customavata...ar31888_13.gif

[Headspace]

They did better last year when you fucks didn't pick them.

Keep that shit going.

[Xajii]

Ravens have been historically good at the revenge matchup, it traditionally taking 3 losses to understand their opponents enough to win without a doubt, but Cinci's setup has change a little bit and no one can say that Flacco looked particularly hot last game. One of the games I'm most concerned about for us this season.

Also, Saints will win, don't be trippin'.

[Tyche]

Curse of the MNF home underdog!

[Xajii]

inc Reggie Bush injury?

[Headspace]

Ravens have been historically good at the revenge matchup, it traditionally taking 3 losses to understand their opponents enough to win without a doubt, but Cinci's setup has change a little bit and no one can say that Flacco looked particularly hot last game. One of the games I'm most concerned about for us this season.

Also, Saints will win, don't be trippin'.

Not to mention you guys have a shit secondary and are like 3-8 against Palmer.

[Flarega]

Niners b fucked.

[Deejay]

Colt's defense is shitty and overrated. The Giants will run circles around them.

[Tyche]

Colt's defense is shitty and overrated. The Giants will run circles around them.

For 2 yards a carry.

[Tyche]

Brandon Jacobs is a poor man's Marion Barber.

Yeah, I said it.

[tyven]

Brandon Jacobs is a poor man's Marion Barber.

Yeah, I said it.

hahahaha they are both a homeless man's peyton hillis

[Tyche]

hahahaha they are both a homeless man's peyton hillis

That's racist!

[Denchi]

I'm a huge Vikings fan, and I hope they prove me wrong, but I totally agree with Tyche. They have a ton of injuries, they're thinner at almost every position, and with our O line sucking and Favre as banged up as he already is.......... Don't see us doing much this year.

[Chun Liroy]

Pittsburgh at Tennessee (-5) -

Miami at Minnesota (-6) -

Arizona at Atlanta (-6.5) -

Baltimore at Cincinnati (+2.5) -

Kansas City at Cleveland (-2) -

Chicago at Dallas (-7.5) -

Philadelphia at Detroit (+6) -

Buffalo at Green Bay (-13) -

Tampa Bay at Carolina (-3.5) -

Seattle at Denver (-3.5) -

St. Louis at Oakland (-3.5) -

Houston at Washington (+3) -

New England at NY Jets (+3) -

Jacksonville at San Diego (-7) -

NY Giants at Indianapolis (-5) - Don't expect peyton to have as many gifts for the giants as moore did.

MON, SEP 20

New Orleans at San Francisco (+5.5) -

[sekaran]

I'm a 49er fan, going to the game.. and I don't think they'll beat the Saints. The secondary is bad and unless they bring it with the pass rush, they'll have no chance.

That said, I hope they win. :D

[Deejay]

Brandon Jacobs is a poor man's Marion Barber.

Yeah, I said it.

You mean the other way around? Has the barbarian ever rushed for 1000 yards? I don't think so.

Jacobs worst year is on par with Marion's best statistical season ever. Get your facts straight fgt. Or better yet, get those weak ass troll attempts out of here. I'd expect that from Elroy, but you know better.

[Chun Liroy]

Nigga u trollin. 835 yards on 224 attempts last year. 932, 214 for barber. And barber played terrible last year. Hell last year Felix had comparable stats to jacobs. 116 attempts, 685 yards. So get your weak ass troll attempts outta here.

[Moss]

I'm a 49er fan, going to the game.. and I don't think they'll beat the Saints. The secondary is bad and unless they bring it with the pass rush, they'll have no chance.

That said, I hope they win. :D

I don't think San Fran really has a chance either, but it is possible the Madden Curse manifests itself in a Patrick Willis sack that separates Brees' head from his body.