BG Forum Group Therapy #23

[Daahan]

I don't normally make posts about things like this but I have a problem and I want to see what some of you people have to say about it.

It all began like this:

Back in high school, there was myself and my close group of friends. We basically knew anything and everything about each other. There were 5 of us in total. As time went on, all of us eventually got girlfriends, but we still remained really close friends. However, one of the group named Rudy became very attached to his girlfriend, and slowly grew apart from the group. He began hanging out with his girlfriend's group of friends and grew out of contact with us more and more. Eventually we stopped hearing from him entirely. He disappeared from communication with us for two years...until yesterday.

The day before yesterday he had broken up with the girl whom he had a relationship with for almost 2.5 years. All of the sudden, he wants to start calling us and hanging out with us again. Now my other good friend is being completely sympathetic with him and telling us that we should start hanging out with him again. I on the other hand, am quite disturbed by the fact that now that he has broken up with his girlfriend, he suddenly crawls back to us for whatever reasons. Perhaps if he had not just disapperaed like a douchebag without keeping in touch and actually told us why, I would have respected that and let him move on with his life. So tell me my faithful Yinninites, should I show sympathy and compassion to an old friend whom I know very well, or should I tell him to go screw himself?

Keep in mind that he's probably very emo over the breakup right now and also keep in mind that we were at one time very close friends.

COMMENCE THE GROUP THERAPY

[Raineer]

You should support him because that happens to every guy at some point in his life, and he just happened to be the first person in your group to go through it.

/speaks from experience lawl

View it as a church, when someone strays from the flock for whatever reason, but then returns with renewed interest, do you not welcome them back?

ps...when it happened to me: the guys that gave me the MOST shit when returning? it happened to them next.

[Shaede]

Sounds like you already know what you should be doing.

[Daahan]

Sounds like you already know what you should be doing.

Actually no, I'm really in a bind on what I should do, hence my post.

And good point Raineer...

Keep the opinions coming.

[Jensken]

Have you seen each other naked?
If yes - take him back into the group.
If no - you obviously weren't that close friends.

[Eaglestrike]

You should support him because that happens to every guy at some point in his life, and he just happened to be the first person in your group to go through it.

/speaks from experience lawl

View it as a church, when someone strays from the flock for whatever reason, but then returns with renewed interest, do you not welcome them back?

ps...when it happened to me: the guys that gave me the MOST shit when returning? it happened to them next.

I agree with this.

I'm usually very into being the asshole that wants to go by what is 'right' which would be giving him shit for what he did to you. But fact is he's still your friend, women completely fuck over some guys, take him back and in a bit when he's feeling better make sure he knows not to fuck things up like that again.

[Manako]

Now my other good friend is being completely sympathetic with him and telling us that we should start hanging out with him again.

That statment doesn't quite make sense to me, your friend does mean that you should let him hang out with you guys and invite him to stuff I assume. If it were me I'd give him a chance, but I would also talk to him about the way he is acting. He needs to have friends to help him out, and you obviously had good reason to be good friends with him in the first place, but if he just acts like he has been there the past 2.5 years I'd be miffed.

You won't really know how he feels until you talk to him, but if he doesn't see what he has done as a mistake he will probably do the same again when he finds his rebound girl. But for now what can it hurt to have another person to hang out with, taking his commitment to your friendship with a grain of salt at first.

[Tonko]

Accept him back into the group, but be sure he knows he fucked up by allowing that siren/harpy/succubus to rule his life, and choose his friends for him.

Make him perform all beer run duties. Enforce a mandatory honorific he must address the other 4 of you by (i.e Sir, Master, Daddy, Big Poppa.) Make him do a series of very embarrassing tasks, such as going to afore-mentioned beer runs clad only in women's clothing.

The harassment will help him forget about the woman who sucked his soul dry, and will also help to rebuild the frayed bonds of friendship.

This is all assuming the guy has a decent sense of humor. If he's a complete fucktard, all of the above will only make him /wrist even more.

Remember: Bros before Hoes. Always.

[Shaede]

Actually no, I'm really in a bind on what I should do, hence my post.

Listen to Raineer, then.

[Septimus]

Silly Daahan, you know that you should have come to me for advice since I am always right about these things.

A lot of the times the friend will drop his old friends because the new girl/boyfriend will insist upon it, other times he will do it on his own because he is getting some. But in any case, guys who drop their friends when they have a girlfriend/boyfriend always live to regret it.

Right now your friend probably feels like an idiot for investing so much into his ex that he severed ties with everyone else; focus on this being a learning experience for him. Maybe this will help him to grow as a human being, if nothing else you should accept him back so that you can make fun of him for being so whipped when he is less emo. :D

[Septimus]

Have you seen each other naked?
If yes - take him back into the group.
If no - you obviously weren't that close friends.

If yes and everyone is cute, send pictures to Septimus.

[Sirenia]

People grow apart. It's just the facts of life. If he's a longtime friend I don't see why you wouldn't talk to him again. Friends (most) are forever.

[Daahan]

Have you seen each other naked?
If yes - take him back into the group.
If no - you obviously weren't that close friends.

we all went streaking homecoming night in high school. I don't know if that answers your question.

I was expecting a lot of "no's" as far showing sypmathy for him goes, but I guess I was mistaken.

The thing is though, he doesn't seem like he regrets his decision. We hung out yesterday and my other friend invited him to come along out of sympathy, but he basically acted as if we had still been friends for the past 2 years. When we said hi to him, we didn't even get something along the lines of "long time no see dude."

I guess most of you are right though, a lot won't be cleared up until we actually talk to him about this douchebaggery.

Have you seen each other naked?
If yes - take him back into the group.
If no - you obviously weren't that close friends.

If yes and everyone is cute, send pictures to Septimus.

lolnopix4u

[Septimus]

If yes and everyone is cute, send pictures to Septimus.

lolnopix4u

After all the good advice I just gave you, not even in wrestling singlets? ;_;

[Rocl]

Sure take him back, but make him sit with the fat black jewish guy that tags along with you that nobody likes (EVERY GROUP OF FRIENDS HAS ONE, except mine is a crazy schizo ukraninan guy but details details)

[Russta]

I've been in the same situation as you.

Me and three friends used to spend all day, every day together in high school for about five years. From going back to my house at lunch to play games, playing soccer after school, doing class projects together up until going to music gigs together as we got older. Then, one day, one of them got a girlfriend. That wasn't really an issue for any of us but, like your friend, he just drifted away from us and didn't wanna know us unless it suited him. His music tastes changed radically, he had no interest in mass Pro Evolution Soccer (Winning Eleven) and Goldeneye marathons anymore... he'd just... changed.

So yeah, two years later he broke up with the girl and wanted to hang out again. We hung a giant slice of humble pie in his face and let him back in with us after he chomped it all down. Things were never really the same in respects to the things we did before because we'd all grown up some and had less time to do those things that seemed so important to us back then.

A few more years down the line, that guy lives in Leeds, one is adicted to cocaine, my closest friend of the group is a womanizing chav and I apathetically refuse to move on with life.

[Not Kuno]

Throw him into a vat of acid.

[Alleya]

Throw him into a vat of acid.

Apparently kuno is getting over his pyromania, I was expecting "set him ablaze."

[Tonko]

Some acids are so corrosive and caustic that interaction with certain carbon based compounds, with the addition of Oxygen + Nitrogen, can induce an explosion.

Explosions are kind of burnish, ya?

[Manako]

http://www.mic-d.com/gallery/polarized/picricacid.html

holy exploding acid batman!