NFL Week 1: PUT IT ON THE BOARD!

[Tyche]

Prediction time.

So, in typical week 1 fashion, it's time to make our absurd predictions for how the season will go, and then laugh at them come week 8, then laugh again come week 17.

Template:

Division Champion:
AFC East
AFC South
AFC West
AFC North

NFC East
NFC South
NFC West
NFC North

Wildcard Spots

AFC Title game
NFC Title Game
Superbowl Champion

Rookie of the year
Most Valuable Player

5 Surprising predictions
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.

Alright, I'll start:

Division Champion:
AFC East: New England Patriots
AFC South: Indianapolis Colts
AFC West: San Diego Chargers
AFC North: Cincinnati Bengals

NFC East: New York Giants
NFC South: Atlanta Falcons
NFC West: San Francisco 49ers
NFC North: Green Bay Packers

Wildcard Spots: Miami Dolphins, Houston Texans, Dallas Cowboys, Minnesota Vikings

AFC Title game: Houston Texans @ Indianapolis
NFC Title Game: Atlanta Falcons @ Green Bay Packers
Superbowl Champion: Indianapolis over Green Bay Packers

Rookie of the year: Eric Berry
Most Valuable Player: Aaron Rodgers

Five bold predictions:
1. The Jets don't make the playoffs (understood above)
2. Tom Brady throws for 4500 yards and 35+ TDs
3. Tony Romo has his best statistical year ever
4. Chris Johnson doesn't rush for more than 1400 yards.
5. Ladanian Tomlinson ends with the best fantasy stats on his team.

Onto the Week 1 mess:

THU, SEP 9



Minnesota at New Orleans (-4.5) - Ah, opening day in the Superdome. Should be exciting. Nawlins gets a really good wideout back in Lance Moore, all the while, Favre loses his #1 guy in Minnesota for a half a season. Favre will manage to find a go-to guy in that offense, I just don't know who it will be. I think the Vikings will be fine, but they'll get ran out of Nawlins. Saints to win and cover.



SUN, SEP 12

Miami at Buffalo (+3) - Miami has lost 5 strain in Buffalo. For whatever reason, the tam gives them fits. News is that Fred Taylor will be out, but Spiller has been ripping up the preseason. Miami wins an opening game for the first time since 2005.

Detroit at Chicago (-6) - Jahvid Best is going to be beast. Stafford gets another year under his belt, and the coaching staff gets another year to take a crack at it. Chicago may very well win this game, but Detroit is going to make it interesting. I'm not buying Martz and Cutler meshing at all.

Oakland at Tennessee (-6.5) - After VY took over for the Titans last year, they looked head and shoulders above their former selves. I do have a bit of fear that Johnson isn't going to have half as many 50+ yard plays from scrimmage and VY's limitations at QB could catch up. Tennessee to win, Oakland to cover.

Cincinnati at New England (-4.5) - Unbeknownst to many, Cinci had the #4 overall defense in the NFL last year. The only real flaw in that team was the passing game, which has improved in the offseason. They now have, by all accounts, an elite rookie TE, a slot guy who has played very well, and a HoF WR. Palmer is licking his chops. Nonetheless, the NE hate train has gone too far. NE to win and cover.

Carolina at NY Giants (-7) - Didn't Carolina just recently beat the fucking brakes off the G-men late last season? Redemption time. Giants got rid of their terrible playcaller on defense. He's probably working harder at ESPN than he was on the field last season. Rolle will bring a little help to the secondary. Manning had his best season last year, and I don't think that slows. Great young talent at WR. Giants win and cover.

Atlanta at Pittsburgh (+2.5) - Wow, a bit shocking to see Pitt a home underdog to a team that failed to make the playoffs last year. Atlanta has a very favorable schedule this year, and return some key guys from injury, including Ryan, Turner, and their #1 WR Harry Douglas. I like Atlanta to win this game and cover.

Cleveland at Tampa Bay (-3) - Trying to think of something relevant to say here. Tampa is really bad and Cleveland ended the season extremely strong. Maybe Cleveland has something. I'll take the mild upset.

Denver at Jacksonville (-2.5) - Another largely irrelevant game in my book. I don't even really know where to start. I guess we'll see exactly where MJDs knee is at. Maybe Orton will tough it and heal it to 100%. Denver starts strong with a win.

Indianapolis at Houston (+2.5) - Greeeeat opening game here. Houston palyed Indi tough last season, both games were within a possession. Arian Foster has looked really good, which could give Indy some fits. Bob Sanders will go out for the season before the 3rd quarter, but Indi will still manage to win and cover.

San Francisco at Seattle (+2.5) - If you retained everything you've heard this offseason, you wouldn't think that 2.5 point spread would be enough. Alex Smith is a potential MVP, Vernon Davis is a HoFer, and Westbrook will carry that tea (if he can remember how to walk). Seattle is going to pull the upset here. I think Pete can motivate the Seahawks into fooling themselves and thinking they are better...then playing like it.

Green Bay at Philadelphia (+2.5) - A vaunted match up between the greatest QB in NFL history and the worst QB in the NFC East. For a team that lost in their wildcard game last year, Breen Bay sure is getting a lot of love...and I'm guilty as well. Green Bay is going to crush Philly and cover.

Arizona at St. Louis (+4) - What a QB batter we will have in this game. Derek Anderson vs Sam Bradford. The world may implode from the greatness on the Ed Jones dome. Beanie Wells hasn't looked worth a damn in the preseason and they're going to need him. Bradford will look great and St. Louis pulls a mild home upset.

Dallas at Washington (-3.5) - From what I could gather, Mcabb may be out for this game? True? The offensive line is already putting his ass on the bench. No rushing attack, no offensive line, an injury prone QB...talk about disaster in the making. Dallas rolls and cover.

MON, SEP 13

Baltimore at NY Jets (-2.5) - For all the preseason hype, their a 2.5 point home favorite to a Baltimore team who are resting more injuries than a nursing home. Luckily for Baltimore, their injuries lie on the secondary and their facing a QB with stats comparable to Jamarcus Russel. Not my line. All the Jets fans from TGG are picking themselves to lose, so why shouldn't I?

San Diego at Kansas City (+5) - Eric Berry rips Malcolm Floyd's head off and breaks Antonio Gates' femur in 19 places. Ryan Matthews goes out of the first game with a concussion. Phillip Rivers cries as the first week comes to an end.

[Headspace]

Division Champion:
AFC East: New England
AFC South: Indianapolis
AFC West: San Diego
AFC North: Cincinnati

NFC East: Dallas
NFC South: Saints
NFC West: San Fransisco
NFC North: Green Bay

Wildcard Spots: Miami, Houston, Minnesota, Atlanta

AFC Title game: Cincinnati over New England
NFC Title Game: Green Bay over San Fransisco
Superbowl Champion: Cincinnati over Green Bay

Rookie of the year: Jermaine Gresham and Eric Berry
Most Valuable Player: Aaron Rodgers

5 Surprising predictions
1.Terrell Owens and Ocho each hit 1,000 yards
2.Adrian Peterson fumbles less than five times.
3.Oakland Raiders finish above .500 but miss the playoffs
4.Eagles finish 4th in NFC East
5.Mike Brown extends Marvin Lewis, builds an indoor practice facility and hires a GM.


Only game I care about:

Bengals @ Patriots - If shit goes according to plan, those in the know, it should be an enjoyable game to watch.

[AidenCarby]

Prediction time.


Alright, I'll start:

Division Champion:
AFC East: New England Patriots
AFC South: Indianapolis Colts
AFC West: San Diego Chargers
AFC North: Cincinnati Bengals

NFC East: New York Giants
NFC South: Atlanta Falcons
NFC West: San Francisco 49ers
NFC North: Green Bay Packers

Wildcard Spots: Miami Dolphins, Houston Texans, Dallas Cowboys, Minnesota Vikings

AFC Title game: Indianapolis @ New England
NFC Title Game: Atlanta Falcons @ Green Bay Packers


Five bold predictions:
1. The Jets don't make the playoffs (understood above)
2. Tom Brady throws for 4500 yards and 35+ TDs
4. Chris Johnson doesn't rush for more than 1400 yards.
5. Ladanian Tomlinson ends with the best fantasy stats on his team.

Goddamnit Tyche get out of my head. Also, replace #3 with Mathew Stafford leading Lions to a winning season.

[Byrd]

AFC East - Patriots
AFC South - Colts
AFC West - Chargers
AFC North - Ravens

NFC East - Cowboys
NFC South - Saints
NFC West - 49ers
NFC North - Packers

Wildcard Spots - Titans, Bengals, Falcons, Vikings

AFC Title game - Ravens over Colts
NFC Title Game - Packers over Vikings
Superbowl Champion - Ravens

Rookie of the year - N. Suh
Most Valuable Player - Aaron Rodgers

5 Surprising predictions
1. The winner of the NFC West will have no more than eight wins, yet will still be resting their starters in Week 17, maybe even Week 16.
2. Larry Fitzgerald will not make the Pro Bowl.
3. Neither Matt Moore nor Jimmy Clausen will be able to lead the Panthers any better than Jake Delhomme.
4. The Packers and Vikings will have the two best records in the NFC.
5. The Jets and Giants will both finish third in their divisions.

[Mertron]

Division Champion:
AFC East, New England Patriots
AFC South, Indianapolis Colts
AFC West, San Diego Chargers
AFC North, Baltimore Ravens

NFC East, Dallas Cowboys
NFC South, New Orleans Saints
NFC West, San Francisco
NFC North, Green Bay

Wildcard Spots: Eagles, Giants, Jets, oakland raiders, yeah thats right, wanna fight about it?!?

AFC Title game, Colts - Ravens
NFC Title Game, Packers - Cowboys
Superbowl Champion, The Philadelphia Packers.

Rookie of the year, Jahvid Best
Most Valuable Player, Aaron Rodgers

5 Surprising predictions
1. Motherfuckers I just picked the Raiders to make the playoffs, eat that.
2. I also picked the Vikings to not make the playoffs, have some of that for dessert if there is room left over.
3. Donovan McNabb dies from scurvy.
4. Andy Reid eats Donovan McNabb's corpse.
5. I probably shouldnt have picked the Eagles to make the playoffs, but fuck it.

[toqabowl]

Tyche.... your title only reminds me of the hawk lol


also bears gonna win every week.

[Chun Liroy]

Division Champion:
AFC East: NE
AFC South: Indy
AFC West: Chargers
AFC North: Ravens

NFC East: Dallas
NFC South: NO
NFC West: Niners
NFC North: Packers

Wildcard Spots: Philly, Falcons, Jets, Houston

AFC Title game: Chargers over Ravens
NFC Title Game: Cowboys over Packers
Superbowl Champion: Cowboys over Chargers for maximum troll.

Rookie of the year: Suh
Most Valuable Player: D. Ware

5 Surprising predictions
1. Houston gets more than 9 wins
2. Jets Def sucks.
3. Favre retires after a season ending ankle injury
4. Miz roots for the cowboys to win one game.
5. Barber rushes for over 1k and Felix jones doesn't get hurt.

[Koyuki]

Division Champion:
AFC East: New England
AFC South: Indianapolis
AFC West: San Diego
AFC North: Baltimore

NFC East: Philadelphia
NFC South: New Orleans
NFC West: San Fran
NFC North: Green Bay

Wildcard Spots Oakland, Cincinnati, Vikings, New York

AFC Title game: New England over Baltimore
NFC Title Game: Green Bay over San Fran
Superbowl Champion: Packers over New England

Rookie of the year: Eric Berry
Most Valuable Player: Tom Brady


5 Surprising predictions
1. Panthers are going to suck
2. Aaron Rodgers kills favre
3. Adrian Peterson finally learns how to hold onto the ball
4. John Fox is shot during a game
5. Jets won't make it to the playoffs

[CrosisX]

Division Champion:
AFC East: New England Patriots
AFC South: Indianapolis Colts
AFC West: Denver Broncos
AFC North: Cincinnati Bengals

NFC East: New York Giants
NFC South: New Orleans Saints
NFC West: San Francisco 49ers
NFC North: Green Bay Packers

Wildcard Spots: Houston Texans, Pittsburg Steelers, Carolina Panthers, Detroit Lions

AFC Title game: Bengals @ Indianapolis
NFC Title Game: New York Giants @ Green Bay Packers
Superbowl Champion: New York Giants over the Bengals

Rookie of the year: Dez Bryant
Most Valuable Player: Ocho Cinco!

Five bold predictions:
1. Detroit Lions become a playoff team this year (worst to first anyone)
2. Eli Manning has his best statistical year ever.
3. Brett Farve has his worst year ever
4. Jack Del Rio is fired as Jaguars coach before end of season.
5. Jay Cutler throws over 25 INTs

[Moss]

Atlanta at Pittsburgh (+2.5) - Wow, a bit shocking to see Pitt a home underdog to a team that failed to make the playoffs last year. Atlanta has a very favorable schedule this year, and return some key guys from injury, including Ryan, Turner, and their #1 WR Harry Douglas. I like Atlanta to win this game and cover.

I wouldn't call that line shocking, they won't have Roethlisberger and they lost Willie Colon for the season so the great Flozell Adams will be playing tackle. I will be extremely disappointed if the Falcons lose, no reason we shouldn't win by two touchdowns.

I think you are underestimating Philly. I think their defense is going to very strong, they should be able to get to Rodgers. Solid reasoning on all of your picks.

[Clyne]

Division Champion:
AFC East: New England Patriots
AFC South: Houston Texans
AFC West: San Diego Chargers
AFC North: Baltimore Ravens

NFC East: Dallas Cowgirls
NFC South: Atlanta Falcons
NFC West: Seattle Seahawks
NFC North: Minnesota Vikings

Wildcard Spots: Green Bay Packers, Detroit Lions, Tennessee Titans, Miami Dolphins

AFC Title game: New England Patriots @ Baltimore Ravens
NFC Title Game: Atlanta Falcons @ Minnesota Vikings
Superbowl Champion: Baltimore Ravens over Atlanta Falcons

Offensive Rookie of the year: Sam Bradford
Defensive Rookie of the year: Suh
Most Valuable Player: Michael Turner

Five bold predictions:
1. Peyton Manning injury leads to losing season for Indy
2. Saints miss the playoffs because D can't keep opponents from scoring 25+
3. Joe Flacco leads the league in TD passes
4. Tom Coughlin finally gets fired for underachieving NYG team
5. St. Louis finishes 2nd in the NFC West @ 6-10.

[Zoolander]

Division Champion:
AFC East - Patriots
AFC South - Colts
AFC West - Chargers
AFC North - Ravens

NFC East - Cowboys
NFC South - Saints
NFC West - 49ers
NFC North - Packers

Wildcard Spots - Texans, Jets, Vikings, Falcons

AFC Title game - Chargers vs Colts
NFC Title Game - Packers vs Cowboys
Superbowl Champion Chargers vs Packers, Packers win.

Rookie of the year Ryan Matthews
Most Valuable Player Aaron Rodgers

5 Surprising predictions
1. Bucs don't finish last in the division.
2. Texans win a playoff game.
3. Cowboys don't win a playoff game.
4. I have the Jets as a wild card, but I'll contradict that and put Jets don't make the playoffs. Sue me.
5. Sean Merriman returns to form and SD doesn't miss a beat w/o VJax.

THU, SEP 9

Minnesota at Saints - Pretty iffy to call this, but the Vikings are all pissed off and all of that anger is pointed right at the Saints. I expect them to play furious and very emotional. Saints just don't have that same motivation. Could easily go either way though.

SUN, SEP 12

Miami at Buffalo - Would be very disappointed if Miami didn't win this.

Detroit at Chicago - Chicago defense is better than last year, Forte plays better than last year, and Cutler cuts down on the INT.

Oakland at Tennessee - I don't like Tennessee's defense at all, and their offense is so one dimensional. I like Oakland in this one for the upset.

Cincinnati at New England - I expect Brady to beast this year, I am still not sold on the Bengals even after what they did last year. I kinda hope Palmer returns to his old form and this pick is wrong.

Carolina at Giants

Atlanta at Pittsburgh

Cleveland at Tampa

Denver at Jacksonville

Indy at Houston - Houston gets a big divisional win after being Indy's bitch for so long.

San Fransisco at Seattle

Green Bay at Philly

Arizona at St. Louis

Dallas at Washington - Washington puts some pressure on Romo but the new defense doesn't totally click yet.

MON, SEP 13

Baltimore at Jets

San Diego at Kansas City

[Gadritan]

Division Champion:
AFC East - Pats
AFC South - Colts
AFC West - Chargers
AFC North - Bengals

NFC East - Giants
NFC South - Falcons
NFC West - Niners
NFC North - Packers

Wildcard Spots - Panthers, Bears, Texans, Ravens

AFC Title game - Texans over Pats
NFC Title Game - Packers over Niners
Superbowl Champion - Packers over Texans

Rookie of the year - Ryan Mathews
Most Valuable Player - Matt Schaub

5 Surprising predictions
1. Texans not only reach the playoffs for the first time, they go to their first SB.
2. Despite having a "loaded," roster, the Cowboys miss the playoffs as they fall apart mid-season.
3. Michael Turner leads the NFL in rushing yards.
4. Despite early struggles, the Panthers secure a wild card slot with Clausen under center. (If you've paid any attention at all this offseason, you saw this prediction coming)
5. The Saints Finish 3rd in the NFC South with a 7-9 record.

I'll give my week 1 predictions after I get some Zzzz.

[Akiyama]

Division Champion:
AFC East: Dolphins
AFC South: Colts
AFC West: Chargers
AFC North: Bengals

NFC East: Cowboys
NFC South: Saints
NFC West: Seahawks
NFC North: Packers

Wildcard Spots: Patriots, Ravens, Falcons, Vikings

AFC Title game: Colts over Bengals
NFC Title Game: Cowboys over Packers
Superbowl Champion: Colts

Rookie of the year: SUH!
Most Valuable Player: Peyton Manning

5 Surprising predictions
1. Jets finish 8-8
2. Favre gets hurt and misses a game/retires early
3. TO doesn't blow up Cincy's locker room and is relatively quiet while still being effective
4. Raiders finish 2nd in the AFC West
5. Devin Aromoshodu is in the Top 10 in receiving by the end of the year

[Moss]

5. The Saints Finish 3rd in the NFC South with a 7-9 record.

lol. Hell will freeze over first but I would very much enjoy that. It would require a Brees injury. Then again... Madden curse...

Division Champion:
AFC East - Pats
AFC South - Colts
AFC West - Chargers
AFC North - Steelers - just a hunch they will rape when Big Ben returns

NFC East - Eagles - I don't expect Kolb to set the world on fire but obviously do well enough. I think the defense will be very strong.
NFC South - Saints - I didn't bother going through the schedule to figure out a way the Falcons come out on top. Bottom line, Brees is good enough to overcome a mediocre defense.
NFC West - 49ers - Way too much hype (hello, Alex Smith is your QB), but who the hell else is gonna win that division.
NFC North - Packers - Offense will beast, but is the oline any better in pass protection or is Rodgers gonna get battered again?

Wildcard Spots - Falcons, Giants, Ravens, Bengals
Superbowl Champion - Falcons over Colts (I really don't like anyone in the NFC so a homer pick)

Rookie of the year - Ryan Mathews
Most Valuable Player - Peyton Manning

[Melena]

Division Champion:
AFC East Patriots
AFC South Colts
AFC West Chargers
AFC North Bengals

NFC East Dallas
NFC South Falcons
NFC West 49ers
NFC North Vikings

Wildcard Spots Falcons, Packers, Raiders, Jets

AFC Title game Pats/Colts
NFC Title Game Vikings/Niners
Superbowl Champion Pats

Rookie of the year No clue on this one
Most Valuable Player Peyton Manning

5 Surprising predictions
1. Alex Smith will pass for 3500 Yards with a 3/1 TD to INT ratio
2. Raiders will go 9-7 and somehow through weird tie breakers get in the playoffs as a wild card
3. Someone will sign JaMarcus Russel
4. OchoCinco will be fined less then 50k this year
5. Sam Bradford will lead the rams to a 5-11 Record and put up respectable numbers on a shitty team.

Week 1

Minnesota at New Orleans New Orleans will rattle Favre and squeak out a win due to a late interception.



SUN, SEP 12

Miami at Buffalo Will Buffalo even score a TD?

Detroit at Chicago Detroit with the Upset

Oakland at Tennessee Oakland improved it's Run Defense, but not enough. Tennessee will win by a field goal.

Cincinnati at New England NE is very tough at home and Ocho has already opened his mouth. No TD's for Ocho, Pats win by a touchdown.

Carolina at NY Giants Panthers will win by a touchdown. Miz will be arrested for starting a bonfire with old clutch jerseys.

Atlanta at Pittsburgh Atlanta by 6. Pitt may have to use a third string QB if Leftwich's knee is hurt as bad as they think it may be.

Cleveland at Tampa Bay - Cleveland by 14 as Clutch trolls Miz week 1.

Denver at Jacksonville Denver by a TD. Tebow is lurking and walking on water as I write this.

Indianapolis at Houston Indy by a touchdown but it will be close. Probably won in the last few minutes.

San Francisco at Seattle Niners by 10. Alex Smith has looked better each preseason game and right now Crabtree and Davis have chips on there shoulders.

Green Bay at Philadelphia Green Bay by 10. Kolb will throw for 350 yards 3 TD's and 5 Int's.

Arizona at St. Louis St. Louis by 3. Bradford will impress.

Dallas at Washington Dallas wins the superbowl early and kills Washington by two scores.

MON, SEP 13

Baltimore at NY Jets Baltimore wins by 3. Big defensive battle, 17-14 is my prediction for final score.

San Diego at Kansas City I hate phillip rivers but I have to go with the Chargers over the Chiefs. Chargers win by a TD.

[Bregor]

AFC East: New York Jets
AFC South: Indianapolis Colts
AFC West: San Diego Chargers
AFC North: Baltimore Ravens
WC: Cincinnati Bengals
WC: Houston Texans

NFC East: Dallas Cowboys (ugh)
NFC South: New Orleans Saints
NFC West: San Francisco 49ers
NFC North: Green Bay Packers
WC: Atlanta Falcons
WC: New York Giants

AFC Title Game: Ravens over Colts
NFC Title Game: Saints over Packers
Super Bowl Champion: Saints

Offensive Rookie of the Year: Ryan Mathews
Defensive Rookie of the Year: Rolando McClain
Most Valuable Player: Phil Rivers

5 Surprising predictions
1. Kevin Kolb will not end the year as the Eagles starting QB.
2. Vincent Jackson will play before Darrelle Revis this season.
3. Neither the Patriots nor the Steelers will make the playoffs for the first time in forever.
4. Lovie Smith is the first coach fired mid-season.
5. Tony Romo will bang Kim Kardashian during the Cowboys bye week and immediately retire from professional football.


THU, SEP 9

Minnesota at New Orleans (-4.5) - Old Man River and All-Day still have some magic left, but they also have some turnovers left. The crowd and Brees are too much. Saints by a touchdown.

SUN, SEP 12

Miami at Buffalo (+3) - 'Fins have too many weapons for Buffalo to handle. How does Trent Edwards still have a job? Miami wins big.

Detroit at Chicago (-6) - http://bit.ly/bGEtIc Bet the Lions, Chicago wins by a field goal or less.

Oakland at Tennessee (-6.5) - The Jason Campbell era begins with an injury and we see Gradkowski at some point. CJ goes for 200, Titans win by two scores despite Vince Young's best Purple Drank impression.

Cincinnati at New England (-4.5) - 85 and TO both get 400 yards receiving in their first game together, Aroldis Chapman replaces Palmer at QB, and somewhere in Indiana, Brian Kelly collapses and dies of a massive coronary. Headspace did not write this prediction. Cincy wins in an upset.

Carolina at NY Giants (-7) - High-scoring shootout between Panthers' two horses and Eli. The difference will be Matt Moore's inexperience. Giants to win, Cats to cover.

Atlanta at Pittsburgh (+2.5) - I can't remember the last time the Steelers opened at home as an underdog to a non-playoff team from the previous year. That being said, Mendenhall and the line can't carry the load without Captain Daterape. Atlanta in a close one.

Cleveland at Tampa Bay (-3) - Tampa's got no running game and Josh Freeman accounted for 20 turnovers by himself last season. His Clutchness brings some consistency to the Brownies, but it's Jerome Harrison and the ground game that get the job done. Cleveland by a score.

Denver at Jacksonville (-2.5) - Both these teams closed out 2009 with four straight losses. I don't have any sort of vibe on this game, so I'll go with the home team. It helps that MoJoDrew is the best player on the field. Jags in a close one.

Indianapolis at Houston (+2.5) - Game of the week in my book. If Houston can pull of the upset, is it a changing of the guard in the AFC South? After going 9-7 last year but missing the playoffs, I expect big things from the Texans. Unfortunately they can't get past Manning and the Colts yet again. A healthy Dwight Freeney could be the difference. Indy wins on the last drive.

San Francisco at Seattle (+2.5) - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dV-DO8WAq5g 49ers win big.

Green Bay at Philadelphia (+2.5) - No Donovan McNabb, no Brian Westbrook, no problem? Kevin Kolb is overmatched early in his first start, and the Philly crowd turns on him immediately. Get your pitchforks and torches ready. Rodgers throws for 300 and 3 TDs, Pack get the easy road win.

Arizona at St. Louis (+4) - Derek Anderson? Really? Good luck with that. Steven Jackson runs all over the Cards, St. Louis gets off the schnide early.

Dallas at Washington (-3.5) - The Deadskins are much improved, but their deficiencies at tailback and offensive line mean a big day for the 'Boys front seven. Miles Austin just keeps on smilin'. Dallas wins by a touchdown.

MON, SEP 13

Baltimore at NY Jets (-2.5) - Rex Ryan fucking can't get his goddamned team to do shit all fucking day and that pussy cocksucker Ray Rice gets 200 motherfucking yards from scrimmage. Baltimore forces lots of turnovers and wins big.

San Diego at Kansas City (+5) - Phil Rivers begins his "troll the fuck out of the NFL" campaign with a bang, and Ryan Mathews looks great early. Remind me again why people thought Matt Cassel was a guy to build an offense around? San Diego by two touchdowns.

[Clyne]

1. Alex Smith will pass for 3500 Yards with a 3/1 TD to INT ratio

These predictions were intended to represent the NFL, not the UFL.


In all seriousness, you'd better hope that doesn't play out, because it means they don't get Gore going and that secondary will get exposed consistently in the 2nd half of games if the defense spends too much time on the field.

Arizona at St. Louis (+4) - Derek Anderson? Really? Good luck with that. Oshiomogho Atogwe runs all over the Cards, St. Louis gets off the schnide early.

fixed

[Demosthenes11]

Division Champion:
AFC East: Patriots
AFC South: Colts
AFC West: Chargers
AFC North: Bengals

NFC East: Cowboys
NFC South: Saints
NFC West: 49ers
NFC North: Packers

Wildcard Spots: Jets, Ravens, Vikings, Giants

AFC Title game: Colts vs. Pats
NFC Title Game: 49ers vs. Cowboys
Superbowl Champion: Colts

Rookie of the year: Jahvid Best
Most Valuable Player: Ray Rice

5 Surprising predictions
1. Peterson rushes for over 1600
2. VY loses starting job by week 12
3. Bradford sucks penis all year, possibly gets season ending injury
4. Lions lose to Vikings in final game of year and lose wildcard spot
5. Rex Ryan eats Bill Belichick after their week 13 game vs the patriots

[Cleverness]

Division Champion:
AFC East - Patriots
AFC South - Colts
AFC West - Chargers
AFC North - Bengals

NFC East - Giants
NFC South - Saints
NFC West - Seahawks
NFC North - Packers

Wildcard Spots: Cowboys, Dolphins, Jets, Vikings

AFC Title game - Colts vs Bengals
NFC Title Game - Giants vs Packers
Superbowl Champion - Colts vs Giants

Rookie of the year - Dez Bryant
Most Valuable Player - Peyton Manning

5 Surprising predictions
1. The Jets actually do as well as last year.
2. Favre retires for real. Honest.
3. Ochocinco and TO both catch for 1000+ yards.
4. The Lions win more than 6 games.
5. Al Davis dies.