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  1. #1
    The Optimistic Asshole
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    NFL Week 3 - "Someone go down, someone go down"

    NY Giants at Philadelphia - Most would say this game would be difficult to predict because of Vick's availability, but I disagree. Even Mike Kafka can lead a team of starters to a win against the NYG 2nd team, who have decided to simply put their entire first team onto IR. Kafka or Vick, it doesn't matter, Philly wins this game, Eli throws 3 INTs, and Kafka goes for 300+ yards.

    Jacksonville at Carolina - Cam Newton Cam Newton Cam Newton Cam Newton. It's been two games and I'm already sick of hearing about him. He's put up a ton of yards on a ton of volume. I'm sure he'll continue the trend of throwing it 40-something times a game, hitting a Jaguar at least once, and making sure that Deangelo's contract is the largest waste of 40 million dollars since Jamarcus Russel.

    New England
    at Buffalo - Buffalo has lost 15 straight to New England, over 7 years of losses. Despite Buffalo's offensive efficiency increasing over 50% from last season (the highest leap of any team in the last 20 years), they're still 8.5 point dogs. I usually love home dogs, and all streaks must come to an end at some point, but this isn't that point. I'm sure Fitzpatrick will have a good game, but he's not going to keep up with Tommy boy. New England wins by 12.

    Miami at Cleveland - Miami was 6-2 on the road last season and lost 9 of their last 10 home games. I think it's safe to say that Miami takes no talent to South Beach. They do, however, take it to the road, racking up wins against the Jets and the Packers on the road last season. Miami has much more pressure to win than Cleveland. This is the start to Miami ripping off 10 straight wins. Yeah, you heard it hear folks, homerism. Miami by 36 points.

    San Francisco at Cincinnati - I have it from a reliable source that Andy Dalton may be pretty good. Cam Newton without the shitty accuracy is something I recall hearing. I'm also hearing that AJ Green may very well be better than Randy Moss, as he's more physically gifted and can jump a lot higher. Very important factors when considering the best WR of all time, all time. So, Cinci, aka Montana to Rice reborn, should win this game going away. Cinci by 145 points.

    Denver at Tennessee - Umm...hmph. This seems like a good place to talk fantasy. Chris Johnson has largely sucked, but he still has a hamstring, so that's good. Kenny Britt was a fantasy steal for the people who decided to wait til round 4 or later to pick him up. Tebow should be a must start at wideout. Also, Eric Decker is the sexiest man alive.

    Detroit at Minnesota - There's not much to be said about this game other than it's the first of 6 division wins this season for Detroit, the third of 19 wins this season, and the 3rd loss of 16 for Minnesota. OK, maybe 15, they do play KC next week. STAFFORD.

    Baltimore at St. Louis - I can't explain Baltimore...are they the team who destroyed Pitt of the team that mailed it in against Tennessee. I can't imagine the unflappable Flacco being as bad as he was. He is, afterall, unflappable.

    NY Jets at Oakland - This could (should?) be a pretty good game. The Jets have built their team to stop the pass, and Oakland can't pass. That's a lot of wasted DB talent. The Jets defensive line is pretty terrible and can't get pressure without LB help in blitzes. I can see DMC having a huge day. Jets follow this west coast trip with games against the Ravens and Pats. They may overlook a team that is capable of beating them. Jets are a mere 3.5 point favorite in this game, I like Oakland to win.

    Kansas City at San Diego - 14.5 point spread. I think I've said enough.

    Arizona at Seattle - A battle of division contenders! Wait, isn't every team in this shitty fucking division a contender to win with a .500 record? Yeah...I think Pete Carrol is trolling the NFL and Harbaugh by tanking the season and nabbing Andrew Luck so he can destroy his old coach for years to come. At least Arizona is trying, even if they are overpaying for unproven QBs and signing WRs to 100 million dollar contracts. At least they're trying...Arizona wins.

    Atlanta at Tampa Bay - TB barely made it past a terrible Minnesota team. Hell, even McNabb managed to hit the century mark in passing against them. Matt Ryan should continue to improve from his mediocre game performance against the Eagles last week. Tough start for TB, who has playoff dreams.

    Green Bay at Chicago - Why is this not the Sunday night game? Two competitive teams who played two close games last season. Both games within a TD. I can't imagine Chicago holding a healthier GB team to less than 20 again shit season, but we'll see. Green Bay is a 3.5 point favorite, and I don't know which way to go, so I'll go Green Bay, 27-24.

    Pittsburgh at Indianapolis - Ugh, at least I picked up the Pitt defense in the money league.

    MON, SEP 26

    Washington at Dallas - Zero to hero Romo may be playing this game with a punctured lung and broken rib? Mike Vick ain't got shit on Romo, who won't miss a single game with his rib injury. Grossman gets to unleash on the terrible Dallas secondary, which should be fun as hell to watch. "Fuck it, I'm going long" will have a new meaning as Grossman throws for 400 yards. Sadly, Dallas will still win, and hand Washington their first loss.

  2. #2
    Fuck It, I'm Goin Deep Fan Club President
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    Perfect thread title

  3. #3
    I'll change yer fuckin rate you derivative piece of shit
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    The Buffalo/NE game and Detroit@Minnesota game are both full of crazy long losing/winning streaks. Detroit hasn't won in Minneapolis in like 12 years or something.

  4. #4
    The Optimistic Asshole
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    Didn't know about the Detroit/Minn streak...understandable though.

  5. #5
    I'll change yer fuckin rate you derivative piece of shit
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    Since 1997 apparently.

  6. #6
    If I screw up again Im gone forever.
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    STRAIT.

    SHIT SEASON.

  7. #7
    If I screw up again Im gone forever.
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    Also, what the dick tyche, you just jinxed Dallas so fucking bad. Weren't you like 2-14 in picking their game last year or something stupid.

  8. #8
    The Optimistic Asshole
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    Strait? I fucking got it right!

  9. #9
    If I screw up again Im gone forever.
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    NINJAEDIT.

  10. #10
    The Optimistic Asshole
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    My last edit was :47, your post was :49.

    You just can't read.

  11. #11
    Banned.

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    Niners at Cinci /homer
    Jets at Oak /dickride.

    Edit: Dat fix.

  12. #12
    Relic Horn
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    Can they not flex Indy out of primetime? Fuck. How many primetime games did Indy get this year?

  13. #13
    Banned.

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    Eh well at least you can watch/do something else during prime, like basketball.

  14. #14
    Fuck It, I'm Goin Deep Fan Club President
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    Patrick Chung (S-NE) has thumb surgery
    Spoiler: show
    New England Patriots safety Patrick Chung underwent surgery on his right thumb this week after injuring it Sunday against the San Diego Chargers, according to two sources.

    It is unclear how the surgery will affect Chung's availability for Sunday's road game against the Buffalo Bills and beyond. Chung did not practice Wednesday.

    With the Bills scoring a league-high 79 points through two games and operating a spread offense that attacks down the field, losing Chung would be a blow for the Patriots. The third-year veteran out of Oregon is second on the team with 14 tackles and was emerging as the team's top safety this season. He also serves as the personal protector on the punt team and plays on kickoff coverage.

    Second-year player Sergio Brown (one career start) and four-year veteran Josh Barrett (five career starts) are next on the safety depth chart, followed by five-year veteran James Ihedigbo (no career starts).

    Barrett has been playing with a cast over his right thumb.

    Chung, a 2009 second-round draft choice (34th overall), injured the right thumb in the third quarter of Sunday's game against San Diego. The injury appeared to occur on a third-down play in which he jammed tight end Antonio Gates at the line of scrimmage, after which Chung was seen looking down at his right hand while shaking it in the air. He stayed on for one more play before taking himself out of the game and ultimately heading to the locker room for tests. Chung returned to the game later in the fourth quarter with a cast over the thumb.

    Safety was one of the team's deeper positions in the preseason, but that was before the Patriots released veteran James Sanders and 2007 first-round draft choice Brandon Meriweather.

  15. #15
    If I screw up again Im gone forever.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tyche View Post
    My last edit was :47, your post was :49.

    You just can't read.
    Can't read fast*

    I was distracted, aight.

  16. #16
    Ridill
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cail View Post
    Patrick Chung (S-NE) has thumb surgery
    Spoiler: show
    New England Patriots safety Patrick Chung underwent surgery on his right thumb this week after injuring it Sunday against the San Diego Chargers, according to two sources.

    It is unclear how the surgery will affect Chung's availability for Sunday's road game against the Buffalo Bills and beyond. Chung did not practice Wednesday.

    With the Bills scoring a league-high 79 points through two games and operating a spread offense that attacks down the field, losing Chung would be a blow for the Patriots. The third-year veteran out of Oregon is second on the team with 14 tackles and was emerging as the team's top safety this season. He also serves as the personal protector on the punt team and plays on kickoff coverage.

    Second-year player Sergio Brown (one career start) and four-year veteran Josh Barrett (five career starts) are next on the safety depth chart, followed by five-year veteran James Ihedigbo (no career starts).

    Barrett has been playing with a cast over his right thumb.

    Chung, a 2009 second-round draft choice (34th overall), injured the right thumb in the third quarter of Sunday's game against San Diego. The injury appeared to occur on a third-down play in which he jammed tight end Antonio Gates at the line of scrimmage, after which Chung was seen looking down at his right hand while shaking it in the air. He stayed on for one more play before taking himself out of the game and ultimately heading to the locker room for tests. Chung returned to the game later in the fourth quarter with a cast over the thumb.

    Safety was one of the team's deeper positions in the preseason, but that was before the Patriots released veteran James Sanders and 2007 first-round draft choice Brandon Meriweather.
    I wonder if he can play db.

  17. #17
    The Anti Miz
    The Anti Miz of the House of Weave

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    rofl

  18. #18
    Fuck It, I'm Goin Deep Fan Club President
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    i think im getting whooshed cuz idk whats going on;;

  19. #19
    Ridill
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    so was this:
    That makes it even sadder that you've seen some of it and still think this.

    But hey, I guess you'd know better than the experts right.

    Look at this terrible accuracy. Thank god for those great adjustments. Snagged an example of him going through his reads and one of him scrambling a little bit.

    http://www.nfl.com/videos/carolina-p...000d5d822266f4

    http://www.nfl.com/videos/nfl-cant-m...Cam?r_src=ramp
    supposed to be a troll or what?

    those are easily the 2 best throws he's made, and in both of them Smitty has at least 2-3 yards on his guy when the ball is thrown, and is being hit by said guys when the ball gets there...

  20. #20

    Sweaty Dick Punching Enthusiast

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    Leviathan

    I see Stafford and the Lions winning in big in Minnesota O:

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