NFL Week 17: Joe Webb is a dog lover

[Flarega]

So last week we learned that Tebow is a fucking G and Orton is horribad, Jerome Simpson is the greatest wideout in da world, and Joe Webb don’t take no shit from no eagles, and he’ll facemask your tits off without provocation.

Anyways, picks time.

Miami at New England – I know that New England plays pretty tough down the stretch, but Chad Henne can do this. He’s slightly better than clutch, and way better on the road. Plus if a good running team (aka Miami) can get up on the gaytriots I don’t think they’ll be able to get back up. It also helps that this game is meaningless, except for pride or some shit for the lolfins.

Carolina at Atlanta – I’d totally change this pick if Tony Pike was starting for the panthers. Luckily he’s not so this one is a gimme game. Carolina blows all sorts of dick sans Pike, and Atlanta would really have to try to lose this one. Atlanta wins big.

Minnesota at Detroit – Joe Webb showed us last week that he isn’t as horrible as we may have thought, but as a niners fan let me offer some insight. I saw Troy niggaQB Smith throw a good game and since then he has pooped the bed in all subsequent games (lick my nuts Miz). Don’t trust the weird running black QB, I’m telling you. Plus, Detroit is better than their record shows. ALSO, If Favre starts, Detroit wins big, if not, it will be close.

Pittsburgh at Cleveland – Cleveland hasn’t Hillis’d in quite some time. They need this game to compete for the bye, I don’t see them losing it especially because the browns have bad QBs and the Steelers are pretty good at stopping the run, even though they suck bro.

Oakland at Kansas City – The queefs have been good all year at home, and I think they’ll want some payback for losing at Oakland. Plus I don’t think creepy Todd Haley wants to rest his starters before the playoffs.

Tampa Bay at New Orleans – Tampon Bay only beats shitty teams, and iirc the saints won the superbowl last year and beat the likely #1 NFC seed (not Aaron Rodgers) last week. The aints win big, but they stay as a wildcard unless Pike starts for Carolina.

Cincinatti at Baltimore – JEROME SIMPSON BITCHES. DON’T GIVE A FUCK IF YOU GOT A GOOD RUN D, CAUSE SIMPSON GONNA CATCH 2 TDS ON YO ASS FO SHO. ANQUAN AINT GOT SHIT ON JEROME SON. http://i.cdn.turner.com/si/.e1d/img/...ayers/8823.jpg

Buffalo at New York Feet – Just because the Jets have been playing like doo doo lately and I don’t expect them to get better, especially when they’re guaranteed to be a wildcard. Plus, I still don’t trust beanermctaco as an NFL QB even if Mr Dilfer (aka Akiyama) tells me I should.

New York Giants at Washington – Sexy Rexy gonna show some empty stands how it’s done in Washington. Airin some balls out to Cooley as the Giants fans boo. I’m on the edge of my seat.

Tennessee at Indianapolis – If Cortland Finnegan can somehow get all of the Colts receivers ejected, the Titans may have a chance. If not, they’re fucked. They could also learn how to play tough football I guess too. Tyche still has a chance in the playoffs.

Chicager at Green Bay – I’m Jay Cutler I have diabetes.
http://thestockmasters.com/files/u1/...alkinson-3.jpg

Arizona at San Francisco – This game ends in a 3-3 tie. Fourteen punts, 5 picks total. Worst game of the century. At least the niners won’t waste all their timeouts anymore. WAIT SPOKE TOO SOON FUCK.

Dallas at Philadelphia – I’M NOT SAYING VICK DOESN’T DESERVE A CHANCE TO REDEEM HIMSELF, BUT HE KILLED DOGS I HATE HIM. Dumbass faux news. Fucking shoot me. If I was a dog, maybe Vick would. Vicks are guaranteed the 3 seed so they don’t need to play.

San Diego at Denver – TIM TEBOW UP IN THIS BITCH. ORTON CAN HOLD THE CLIPBOARD WHILE I RUSH FOR 300 YARDS. ORTON YOU OUT, TEBOW IN, SUPERBOWLS INCOMING.

Jacksonville at Houston – Houston fucking blows. Effluo should pray that Kubiak is fired, but unfortunately the Texans staff was content with alla dem 8n8s. MJD gonna fuck their tits off.

St. Louis at Seattle – Man, NBC must really be desperate. Seattle isn’t bad at home, but I just think the rams are a better team. Still, if anyone would be prone to losing to an NFC west team in the wildcard (LOL) it would be to Seattle. I still think St. Louis wins the mediocrity bowl though.

Okay, now give me your updated superbowl and championship game picks you dumb bastards, here are mine:

NFC Championship:
Falcons over Chicager Brrrrs

AFC Championship:
Gaytriots over Queefs

Superbowl:
Gaytriots over Falcons

Oh yeah, shouldn't bet week 17 so I'm not posting spreads, and fuck you I'm not linking teams you have the fucking internet.

[archibaldcrane]

I approve.

[Plow]

Sucks that the Bucs can't win and be in because of that shit against Detroit ><

[Diamicles]

If you lose to Detroit, you don't deserve to be in the playoffs anyways.

hi2u Green Bay


inb4 it was because Rogers got hurt QQ

AFC Championship:
Patriots over Patriots West

mmhmm

[Diamicles]

derp double post

[Bregor]

I approve.

^

[Bingbong]

Jacksonville at Houston – Houston fucking blows. Effluo should pray that Kubiak is fired, but unfortunately the Texans staff was content with alla dem 8n8s. MJD gonna fuck their tits off.

This is top notch analysis. Except for the fact that MJD will be on the bench (bad knee - hasn't practiced all week, missed last week, will need offseason surgery). I suppose he can fuck their tits off from there though.

[Valisk]

Last Week: 9-7
Season: 143-97

Miami at New England - Will Belichick learn from last season's mistake that torn Wes Welker's MCL and ACL? Ofcourse not. Ego too big. Senator Belpatine plays to win. Even if it means losing.

Carolina at Atlanta
Minnesota at Detroit
Pittsburgh at Cleveland
Oakland at Kansas City
Tampa Bay at New Orleans
Cincinatti at Baltimore
Buffalo at New York Jets
New York Giants at Washington - The fumblin' stumblin' New Yoooooork Giants! *Boomer sound effect* Whoop!
Tennessee at Indianapolis
Chicago at Green Bay - Chicago would be retarded if they don't try to eliminate Green Bay full force. They are cursed by playing a late game so they'll see that the #1 seed is already sewed up by the Falcons. They should still come to play otherwise, Green Bay may come back to haunt them.

Arizona at San Francisco
Dallas at Philadelphia - Kolbering time! Check down to McCoy all day.
San Diego at Denver
Jacksonville at Houston – Wade Phillips will be the Texans' Defensive Coordinator next year. Houston, we have a problem!
St. Louis at Seattle - Whitehurst?

[Mizango]

Gearing up for Orton and Stanzi in Carolina! Orton is god mode, niggas salty.

[Mizango]

Tebow is Pat White lite.

[Conrad]

Tebow is Pat White lite.

Figuratively and literally

[Conrad]

I wonder if that means Tebow is gonna go into baseball soon too? White is in the minors for the Royals, so perhaps Tebow will one day be the starting CF for the Cardinals or something. You know, keep it in Missouri.

[Headspace]

http://i.cdn.turner.com/si/.e1d/img/...ayers/8823.jpg

[Mizango]

I wonder if that means Tebow is gonna go into baseball soon too? White is in the minors for the Royals, so perhaps Tebow will one day be the starting CF for the Cardinals or something. You know, keep it in Missouri.

Goddammit, why the fuck does he have to be in our fucking farm system? And fuck you with Tebow the Cards. He's already shitted up my Broncos, now he wants to fuck up my NL Central team? FUCK YOOUUUUUUUU

I used to live in St Louis, if he does go there that may not be a bad thing. I know a few folks that could dope him up, hit him with the clap Ricochet style. "Yo Tebow, do you wanna know who's really got the power? Bring your ass to the tower".

http://i.cdn.turner.com/si/.e1d/img/...ayers/8823.jpg

Dat fo'head.

Wait a second, so now yall niggas all on Jerome's nuts? I wont allow it. Except Heady, hes the only one that inquired since he left Coastal Carolina.

[Chun Liroy]

Miz I would like to let you know that Flarega played the tebow and orton card, not me.

[Headspace]

Dat fo'head.

Wait a second, so now yall niggas all on Jerome's nuts? I wont allow it. Except Heady, hes the only one that inquired since he left Coastal Carolina.

YEAH THREE FUCKING YEARS AGO.

[Chun Liroy]

Also, Iggles>Saints
Pats>Indy
Pats>Iggles

[Chun Liroy]

Ya'll niggas gonna be mad when that shit comes true.

[Kyo]

Quite honestly I hope the iggles win a championship this year, so Michael Vick will be the first black QB to wina championship and piss that faggot off from fox news. Suck that PETA.

[Mizango]

Kyo why don't we bro it up anymore? My nigga get a girl and toss the scraps by the wayside, damn son.