Miss Piggy's Grocery Store Checkout Headlines

[Olo401]

Allow me to pop the cherry on this newly merged thread..

Brady Bunch mom got crabs from boinking NYC mayor

[Headspace]

http://memebase.com/wp-content/theme...ges/HeckNo.png

[wop]

http://www.upi.com/Odd_News/2011/06/.../?spt=hs&or=on

NEW YORK, June 27 (UPI) -- A New York physician with a doctorate in sexuality said his pornography collection has 350,000 items dating as far back as the 13th century.

Clifford Scheiner, 61, a former emergency room doctor who now operates a mail-order erotic book business, said his collection of pornographic books, films and photos includes 13th century manuscripts in addition to every issue of Playboy magazine ever published, the New York Daily News reported Monday.

"It is certainly one of the largest collections of erotology and sexology in the world," Scheiner said.

Scheiner said he started collecting pornography and erotica in the 1960s.

"I became interested because of the mystery involved," he said. "To hear people talk about it -- nobody bought it, nobody sold it, nobody owned it, nobody printed it, nobody illustrated it and nobody bound it, but the books were there and that intrigued me.

"I taught myself to recognize most of the dirty words in most of the languages that use the Roman alphabet. I don't have huge language skills, but I get a pretty good idea of what is going on."

Scheiner said he has probably spent about $1 million on his collection.

"But that is over a 30-year period, so actually it's like $30,000 a year," he said. "That isn't a whole lot."

[MaachaQ]

"But that is over a 30-year period, so actually it's like $30,000 a year," he said. "That isn't a whole lot."

Reminds me of this: http://www.cracked.com/article_18922...-marriage.html

Cook originally denied the relationship, so Brinkley demanded his computer passwords to check out his stories. For the same reason you let cops search your car when you know you have weed under the seat, Cook gave his wife the information. She logged on to discover that not only was he cheating on her, but had also secretly been spending $3,000 a month on internet porn.

Forgive us the tangent, but we really need to stop and ask something now: How do you even do that?! You can't even buy Vaseline online without getting a free, month-long trial membership to every horrible fetish site in existence. It is physically impossible to spend that much on masturbation. The only explanation we can think of is that there must be some higher-level of rich people porn where all bodily fluids are replaced with diamond dust and Crystal.

[Drex]

all bodily fluids are replaced with diamond dust

like passing a million kidney stones every time you jizz

[Tyche]

Wop, since you own your boy's shoes, you need to also match his accessories.

http://cdn.wwtdd.com/wp-content/uplo...6-760x1117.jpg

[clobetasol]

http://www.upi.com/Odd_News/2011/06/.../?spt=mps&or=3

An Australian beach volleyball player says she is selling ad space on her body to help her attempt to make it into next year's Olympic Games in London.
Claire Kelly said she is selling tattoo space on her body for $10,400 to $52,000 so she and her partner, Carla Kleverlaan, can join the beach volleyball world pro tour and play the required 12 events to qualify for the Olympics, Melbourne's Herald Sun reported Monday.

"It's taken me months to get the courage to do this and now I'm going through with it," Kelly said. "I was thinking, 'Tattoo my body with a business logo just so I can have a chance to play for my country at the Olympics? I'm crazy'!
PHOTOS: Celebrity Tattoos

"This is my dream and it seems crazy not to try to do something to realize the dream. We need to head off on the world tour before the end of July. We need financial backing, so I can't let fear stop me," she said.

Kelly said she is not concerned about potential criticism of her moneymaking scheme.
"The tattoos mean much more than just the money or the business," she said. "The tattoos signify having the courage to have a crack at something bigger, having the guts to at least try."


Read more: http://www.upi.com/Odd_News/2011/06/...#ixzz1Qce9r4SO

[wop]

http://www.nbcactionnews.com/dpp/new...broad-daylight

KANSAS CITY, Missouri - A Kansas City man faces a sexual assault charge after police say he assaulted an unconscious woman on the sidewalk during the day Wednesday. He told police, "I thought the lady was dead.”

Melvin L. Jackson, 48, was charged Thursday with a felony count of sexual assault.

At around 11:30 a.m. Wednesday, police were called to the 3400 block of Troost Avenue on a report of a rape. When officers arrived, they spoke with a witness who said she saw a man having sexual intercourse with a victim, who was unconscious, on the sidewalk outside of a vacant business.

The witness told police a man came into her business and said he believed someone was getting assaulted outside. The witness walked outside and saw the victim lying on the ground in fetal position and a man positioned over the victim with his pants and underwear around his ankles.

The witness said she confronted the suspect. He reportedly pulled up his pants and began walking northbound on Troost.

The witness said she waved down an officer on Troost and police arrested Jackson a short time later.

When police asked Jackson why his pants were unzipped, he said he touched a lady’s leg and then said, “I thought the lady was dead.”

The victim told police she was walking with a friend and began to feel dizzy and light-headed. The victim told police she found a shaded spot to rest and lost consciousness. The victim told police that she woke up to the witness saying, “Help her! Help her! Get up off her!”

The victim was taken to a hospital for a forensic examination.

Jackson remains in the Jackson County jail.

[solanis]

holy shit, what a terrible story... iirc necrophilia is classed as a mental illness, he could get himself committed instead of raped in jail where he belongs.

[hey]

holy shit, what a terrible story... iirc necrophilia is classed as a mental illness, he could get himself committed instead of raped in jail where he belongs.

Now, do you want the guy to get raped because he's a rapist? Or do you not care because he's a man? Or maybe some combination of both?

Either way, way to go, supporting rape.

[solanis]

Now, do you want the guy to get raped because he's a rapist? Or do you not care because he's a man? Or maybe some combination of both?

Either way, way to go, supporting rape.

raped because he's a rapist. u mad?

[pohibaba]

I seriously live like 4 blocks from that necro-rape.

Sent from my DROIDX using Tapatalk

[Omniyoji]

Go over there while there's still time and spunk all over the crime scene!

[Kerberoz]

I doubt he was able to finish when he noticed she was still warm.

[Fhloston]

http://www.cnn.com/video/#/video/us/...ink?&hpt=hp_c2

You would think hacking an Xbawks would be a waste of time, but the hacker had some lulz with this one. Someone get this kid a 360 though at least, srsly.

[kuronosan]

http://i240.photobucket.com/albums/f...f?t=1307354156

MOVIE. NAO.

Also, lol @ Troost rapist. Terrible area.

[Dimmauk]

http://i240.photobucket.com/albums/f...f?t=1307354156

MOVIE. NAO.

Also, lol @ Troost rapist. Terrible area.

http://ofwhispersanddreams.files.wor...vie-poster.jpg

Amazing movie!

Have another taste
http://i464.photobucket.com/albums/r...n1/ipkilik.gif

[Omniyoji]

Amazing movie!

Yes! Great film but unfortunately not entirely accurate but who cares it only makes the film better. Check out both 1 & 2! Is there a third or are they going to make one? I'd like to see them show Lee's beginnings.

[tripnotic]

A Russian man who tried to rob a hair salon ended up as the victim when the female shop owner overpowered him, tied him up naked and then used him as a sex slave for three days.

Viktor Jasinski, 32, admitted to police that he had gone to the salon in Meshchovsk, Russia, with the intention of robbing it.

But the tables were turned dramatically when he found himself overcome by owner Olga Zajac, 28, who happened to be a black belt in karate.

She allegedly floored the would-be robber with a single kick.

Then, in a scene reminiscent of Quentin Tarantino's Pulp Fiction, police say Zajac dragged the semi-conscious Jasinski to a back room of the salon and tied him up with a hair dryer cable.

She allegedly stripped him naked and, for the next three days, used him as a sex slave to 'teach him a lesson' - force feeding him Viagra to keep the lesson going.

The would-be robber was eventually released, with Zajak saying he had learned his lesson.

Jasinski went straight to the police and told them of his back-room ordeal, saying that he had been held hostage, handcuffed naked to a radiator, and fed nothing but Viagra.

Both have now been arrested.

When police arrived to question Zahjac, she said: 'What a bastard. Yes, we had sex a couple of times. But I bought him new jeans, gave him food and even gave him 1,000 roubles when he left."

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/arti...ed-Viagra.html

[Headspace]

Pretty sure this happened several years ago.

Its how I got my title

J-BRUCE