Whiny bitches
THU, DEC 1
Philadelphia at Seattle - Mike Vick has been ruled out for tomorrow, pretty much ensuring that the Iigles will win this game on the shoulders of Vince Young. Seattle clubs better watch out, I feel sorry for the guy's anus that takes a pounding from Vince after he drops 450 total yards on Pete Carrol again.
SUN, DEC 4
Carolina at Tampa Bay - A huge divisional game that means absolutely nothing in the scheme of things. Tampa isn't as good as they were last year (or maybe they are, their schedule just isn't as favorable. Carolina is pretty much playing for Blackmon at this point. I look for TB to win in a close one.
Cincinnati at Pittsburgh - While the Christmas connection continues to deliver, Ben to Wallace has not. He has only 1 TD in his last 4 games. Pitt just game off a beating of Cinci just two games ago (three weeks), so their opponent should be very familiar. Now they get Cinci at home where they've only lost one game this season. Look for Pitt to strike another W in the column this week.
Atlanta at Houston - Apparently Matty Ice is up to 6th? in QBR for the season. No real surprise there. Ever since Matt Ice finally decided to begin targeting Harry Dougles, the team's best receiver, Matty Ice has been absolutely beast. Harry Douglas carries Matty Ice to victories, and I see no reason that shouldn't continue here.
NY Jets at Washington - The Jets are fucking terrible. They lost to Denver and had it not been for a botched kickoff that hit a blocker, they'd be well out of playoff contention. If there is a God, he's a jet fan because every week some strange flukey ST or DEF play occurs that benefits them. NOT THIS WEEK! Grossman goes deep and the Washington pulls the upset.
Indianapolis at New England - The annual matchup that everyone loves to watch...except this year. News and notes from this matchup? Dan Orlovsky gets the start this week, making him the only player in NFL history that will have played for two 0-16 teams. Maybe if the coaching staff realized his true greatness before they throw him in at 0-10, they wouldn't be looking for new jobs at season's end.
Oakland at Miami - Matt Moore is playing lights out. Miami is on a TWO game home winning streak for the first time since 2009. They probably should have beat Dallas last week, they largely outplayed them for 4 quarters before Sparano tried to kill the clock with Reggie Bush with 5 minutes left only up 2. Yeah, that shit doesn't work...ever. Nonetheless, Miami is a good team that will continue to give playoff hopefuls tons of fits. I like Miami here, not surprisingly.
Denver at Minnesota - Tebowmania heads to Minnesota to face a Peterson-less Vikings team. The Vikings are actually a really stout run defense, allowing less than 100 yards a game to opposing RBs. I don't see them holding Denver to that low a number just on shear volume, but they can hold the YPA down pretty good. This should be another fairly close game which could end in yet another great Tebow moment for ESPN to masturbate over for a week.
Tennessee at Buffalo - On paper this seems like another irrelevant AFC matchup, but with Houston losing their starting and backup QBs for the season, Tennessee being only two games back can really put themselves in division contention with a win here, as Houston is facing a difficult matchup with Atlanta. I think Buffalo will be prepared for the game but they may not be able to match Tennessee's intensity, especially if CJ2K decides to show up for a 2nd week in a row.
Kansas City at Chicago - KC against winning teams on the road have given up 110 points on the season. They've scored 6. The bears, despite quarterback woes, still have a good defense that should be able to hold KC under 10. If Hanie can be semi-competent, the bears should escape with an easy win here.
Baltimore at Cleveland - Baltimore may be the 2nd best team in football. Cleveland is probably one of the worst. Somehow it seems the Ravens play their worst football against the worst teams, and they're facing one of the worst this week. They've lost to Tennessee, Seattle, and Jacksonville. Three pretty bad teams. Will that trend continue here? I doubt it, it's a division matchup and I think they'll come out ready to play.
Dallas at Arizona - The Dallas cake-walk schedule they have down the stretch could lead to the national media actually thinking they're contenders in the NFC. I know right? Funny shit. Don't be fooled by the sub-par Dallas team that, according to some, have all the potential to hang with a Green Bay (yet never ever deliver). Dallas is good enough to beat an Arizona...hell, they may even be good enough to beat a Cutlerless chicago if they play them in the wildcard round...but contenders...no.
Green Bay at NY Giants - The Giants are coming off of three straight losses after an emotional win against the Patriots 4 weeks ago. They are capable (have the "potential") to actually beat a Green Bay team unlike other NFC East teams (though I'd argue Philly does as well, but that potential has yet to show up). Romors are floating around that Coughlin is in danger of losing his job, so I expect the G-men to come out swinging. UPSET OF THE WEEK! After getting unloaded on by Brees, the Giants step up and knock off the last undefeated.
St. Louis at San Francisco - San Francisco gets a chance to bounce back from an emotional loss in Harbowl I. St. Louis has been better as of late, but still not very good. Steven Jackson is going to have difficulty moving the ball against the best rush defense in the league. Can Sam Bradford outduel Alex Smith? Probably, but I don't think it'll matter in the end. San Francisco's defense is just too good.
Detroit at New Orleans - The Lion, coming off losses in three of their last five games will step into the ring with Drew Brees. If Detroit has anyhting at all going for them, it's that they're good enough to defend the pass and good enough to offensively to keep up with the offense. Suh is expected to appeal his suspension, does he get to play during the appeals process or is he going to go ahead and sit this one out? I'm not sure, but I'm not sure it matters either. Brees is having another out of this world season that's going largely under the radar because of the season Rodger's is having, and that's a shame.
MON, DEC 5
San Diego at Jacksonville - Oh yay, another week where football ends on Sunday night. Jags are in disarray, new coach, benched QB, new owner. Nothing good (for the short term) has happened to them this week. After starting off 4-1, the Chargers have gone on a 6 game skid. That should end this week.