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  1. #1
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    Looking for some advice on a divorce situation.

    Shitty title I know.

    Anyways, my mother and father got divorced in 2008. My mother was the one who filed for divorce and went to court and all that jazz. My father has always been a 7 days a week workaholic and he just didn't have time to go to the court hearing back in 09. So they filled the papers with all this bullshit that really isn't true and he's fine with that and all.

    According to the papers, my mother has 100% custody of my little 10 year old brother. All of my brothers life he has lived with me and my father until I moved out. Even after I moved out, he was still living with my father while my mom was off doing whatever. Only until November of 2011 did my mother finally take my brother and started enforcing all of these rules and regulations in the divorce decree that both my parents must abide by.

    Why the sudden change of heart? My father decided to get married again and all of a sudden, here comes my mother into my brothers life. She absolutely despises the fact that my father got married again. Even when I go visit my brother all she does, in front of my brother as well, is call my father and his new wife whores, assholes, etc. just shit that really shouldn't be said in front of a 10 year old.

    So here we are today. As of last November we have been following the decree as best as we can. I say we because I'm helping my father with this all. He isn't from America originally and English isn't his best language by far. Granted, following the decree hasn't been a easy process. Even if the papers state that we have my brother X day, she always gives us hell about it. Always telling (see: DEMANDING) that my brother not be anywhere near his new wife, despite the fucking fact that they LIVE together. My mother is extremely childish and is the type of person that must have her way or she's going to give people shit about it.

    July 1st, my father got my brother for a month straight. July 1st - July 31st my father has possession of my brother. She sends him a text last night and tells him that he has some "math testing" he needs to go to tomorrow (Thursday July 5th) and that she'd come get him and drop him off.

    I'm worried she isn't going to be taking him back. What does my father need to do in case she doesn't bring him back and plans on keeping my brother from my father, despite the decree stating in black and white that my father has him until July 31st? I know police might have to get involved but if the papers state (which it does) that he has him, should I even be worried? Mostly though, I'm just trying to avoid conflict in front of my brother because he's already going through a lot of shit right now. He just doesn't need this bullshit added on if it can be avoided.

    Halp me BG.



    TL:DR
    -Mother/Father get divroced in 2009
    -Divroce Decree written despite father not going to court
    -Brother lives with father until last Nov. 2011 despite papers saying mother has 100% custody
    -Mother takes brother and enforces divorce decree due to fact that father gets remarried
    -Father follows decree despite consistently getting shit from my mom, even if the papers state he has X day or X time with my brother.
    -Father gets brother July 1st-July 31st
    -Mother needs brother for math testing July 5th, scared she won't return brother.
    -Wut do?

  2. #2
    The Shitlord
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    Talk to your mom, get her to stop being a bitch. Talk to your brother, be there for him.

    Otherwise, I dunno.

  3. #3
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    Quote Originally Posted by BaneTheBrawler View Post
    Talk to your mom, get her to stop being a bitch. Talk to your brother, be there for him.

    Otherwise, I dunno.
    Wish it was that easy, lol

  4. #4

    Sweaty Dick Punching Enthusiast

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    have your dad get a lawyer. while the deck is stacked against fathers in the divorce and child custody proceedings, afterwards, the support/custody order is binding and they do not fuck around with it. if she's playing shenanigans, get a lawyer and call her on it. i know it's your moms but people loose their minds over this shit.

    tl;dr: get a lawyer and enforce the custody agreement. if you let it slide, you will regret it later. been there, done that.

  5. #5

    Sweaty Dick Punching Enthusiast

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    Tell your dad to man up, go to the judge and burn her ass for breaching this so called decree that "must" be followed. Bitches be trippin', she's not above the court system, the nigga pays his child support I'm assuming, she can't keep his kid from him.

  6. #6
    You wouldn't know that though because you've demonstrably never picked up a book nor educated yourself on the matter. Let me guess, overweight housewife?
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    If I were you or your dad) I would try to record everything you can. Phone calls, text messages, all the paper work from the order. If she doesn't return him, have your father get a lawyer to see about having the custody agreement changed.


    Courts usually side with the mother until the mother starts abusing the rulings. If you can prove that she's disobeying the orders, the father should be able to get custody.

  7. #7
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    He definitely pays his child support and has absolutely no issues with it either considering he loves the fuck out of my little brother. We've discussed going to a lawyer multiple times and it always boils down to finances, so we've actually started putting some cash aside for some months now just for this. I'm going to say that maybe after another month or so we can actually get to one to get everything straight.

    What I'd like to know is can the police force her to return my brother assuming she doesn't do it herself tomorrow? We've had to call the police before when she flipped out on a weekend we were going out to the lake and refused to give him to us. They did in fact return him to my dad, but I'm just hoping this time it'll be the same if it comes down to doing that.

    Edit: It also completely slipped my mind that despite all this bullshit, my father also pays her rent (my brothers house when he grows up), ALL of her utilities as well as her cell phone. I've asked him why and to stop multiple times but he just doesn't want my brother going without. Every one of those bills has my fathers name on it. Would that information be easily used with a lawyer as far as court appearances and custody changes goes?

  8. #8

    Sweaty Dick Punching Enthusiast

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    Taking her to family court shouldn't require a lawyer, as long as your dad isn't doing anything wrong we don't know about; this shit is cut and dry. Just don't do anything that's not rational until she doesn't return the boy. For all we know there is a math test in the middle of nowhere in the middle of summer.

  9. #9
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    If your mother even financially secure on her own terms? Asking since you said your father is still paying for her shit.

  10. #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by AidenCarby View Post
    Taking her to family court shouldn't require a lawyer, as long as your dad isn't doing anything wrong we don't know about; this shit is cut and dry. Just don't do anything that's not rational until she doesn't return the boy. For all we know there is a math test in the middle of nowhere in the middle of summer.
    I didn't look at family court, we'll discuss that tonight. Thanks.


    Quote Originally Posted by Kaisha View Post
    If your mother even financially secure on her own terms? Asking since you said your father is still paying for her shit.
    If you put aside her compulsive buying habits into play, fuck no. However, she makes fairly decent money working just 2 days a week (weekends). Going into her house though, we're talking stacks of shoes and clothes that still have the tags on them. She had me try to fix her laptop a few months back and I caught a glimpse of her eBay page. All this worthless bullshit that she's bidding on.

    She definitely wouldn't be on her own two feet without my father. I always told my dad that this issue alone could be used easily in court, that she cannot financially take care of my brother by herself. Not to mention like I said previously, 80% of everything in the decree is just a lie.

  11. #11

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    That helps toward building the case, it shows she's financially unstable and unable to care for the kid properly. Have him bring in all of those bills with the address. She's a bitch lol, dude pays her bills and basically maintains her and she still shits on him like that? Wow

  12. #12
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    Quote Originally Posted by AidenCarby View Post
    That helps toward building the case, it shows she's financially unstable and unable to care for the kid properly. Have him bring in all of those bills with the address. She's a bitch lol, dude pays her bills and basically maintains her and she still shits on him like that? Wow
    Man if you only knew... He also paid for a lot of her college expenses in 2004. She's completely worthless and has no sense of anything but herself.

  13. #13
    The Optimistic Asshole
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    You know if theres any truth to the math story? Can you take him yourself? Just lay down ground rules. Your father has all the leverage in this situation. Your mom already has a judgment and your dad is going above and beyond the court ordered requirements. If they go back to court, she won't get as good a deal as she has now, and unless your dad still wishes to be charitable, your mom will probably lose everything she has. She needs to know that.

  14. #14
    The Optimistic Asshole
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    When your mom continues to be a c-nt, just say "we can go back to court and see how they wish to handle it". She wants no part of going back to court.

  15. #15
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tyche View Post
    You know if theres any truth to the math story? Can you take him yourself? Just lay down ground rules. Your father has all the leverage in this situation. Your mom already has a judgment and your dad is going above and beyond the court ordered requirements. If they go back to court, she won't get as good a deal as she has now, and unless your dad still wishes to be charitable, your mom will probably lose everything she has. She needs to know that.
    We sat my brother down and asked if he had some kind of tutoring this year and he said he had to go to Silvan Learning Center. He's ADHD and takes adderall, and has some minor learning problems in school due to this. It's plausible but I just call bullshit. She waits until we get him to tell us this? When I confronted her about it she said that it's my fathers responsibility to give her his plans for my brother as far as giving/taking for set periods of time each parent has him. Makes no sense considering it's written in black and white in a big ass packet for her to read at her own will.

    Clearly states that without written notice, my father has him from July 1 - 31. If anything, she should have arranged everything she had planned around this specific date but she didn't. She doesn't abide by the book whatsoever. Like I said earlier, if she doesn't have it her way she gives us hell and it's getting beyond ridiculous. It just reaffirms the fact that she doesn't take the decree into consideration at all.

    I also asked her if I could take him since my dad works and she refused. She claims that it's her responsibility to do that for my brother and blah blah blah.

    She definitely knows that without my father, her financial situation would be turned to shit. According to my dad, she has always been wasteful with their money which was a huge point in the divorce. But she also knows my father loves his kids more than life itself and wouldn't allow his youngest son to go without. She takes huge advantage of this obviously.

    My father is old school as fuck. I just wish I could convince him to stop paying for her shit and see how she is after a month or two. I guarantee I wouldn't be posting this on BG and asking for advice if that was the case but hey, can't teach an old dog new tricks.

  16. #16
    I'm more gentle than I look.
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    I'll go ahead and assume you guys aren't black.

  17. #17
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ksandra View Post
    If I were you or your dad) I would try to record everything you can. Phone calls, text messages, all the paper work from the order. If she doesn't return him, have your father get a lawyer to see about having the custody agreement changed.


    Courts usually side with the mother until the mother starts abusing the rulings. If you can prove that she's disobeying the orders, the father should be able to get custody.
    QFT. Keeping a paper trail of visitation dates, receipts on support and the bills he pays, her financial security, attempts by her to break bindings, confrontations that your brother is witness to, etc. is dynamite in family court if she tries shenanigans. Its an asshole game to play but it beats petty wars of attrition that just end up with a broken family.

  18. #18
    Bagel
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    How old are you op? Just curious.

  19. #19
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    Quote Originally Posted by Haiko View Post
    How old are you op? Just curious.
    24

  20. #20
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    Quote Originally Posted by elison View Post
    We sat my brother down and asked if he had some kind of tutoring this year and he said he had to go to Silvan Learning Center. He's ADHD and takes adderall, and has some minor learning problems in school due to this. It's plausible but I just call bullshit. She waits until we get him to tell us this? When I confronted her about it she said that it's my fathers responsibility to give her his plans for my brother as far as giving/taking for set periods of time each parent has him. Makes no sense considering it's written in black and white in a big ass packet for her to read at her own will.

    Clearly states that without written notice, my father has him from July 1 - 31. If anything, she should have arranged everything she had planned around this specific date but she didn't. She doesn't abide by the book whatsoever. Like I said earlier, if she doesn't have it her way she gives us hell and it's getting beyond ridiculous. It just reaffirms the fact that she doesn't take the decree into consideration at all.

    I also asked her if I could take him since my dad works and she refused. She claims that it's her responsibility to do that for my brother and blah blah blah.

    She definitely knows that without my father, her financial situation would be turned to shit. According to my dad, she has always been wasteful with their money which was a huge point in the divorce. But she also knows my father loves his kids more than life itself and wouldn't allow his youngest son to go without. She takes huge advantage of this obviously.

    My father is old school as fuck. I just wish I could convince him to stop paying for her shit and see how she is after a month or two. I guarantee I wouldn't be posting this on BG and asking for advice if that was the case but hey, can't teach an old dog new tricks.
    I'll be terse. Tell your mom to fuck off and you're taking him. It's not her responsibility, it's your's and your father's. If she doesn't like it, call the cops (who will laugh at her as he has visitation rights). If your dad pulls the rug out from under her, he'll get the kid if she cannot support him in a stable environment. Your dad needs to leverage up Merrill Lynch style.

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