2012-13 NFL Week 7: Joe Flacco Is An Elite Quarterback (TOP 10 QB WEEK)

[Abandon]

http://voices.washingtonpost.com/dcs...abbvick910.JPG

this pic doesn't get old

[Tajin]

I concurr

[Conrad]

where did that comic come from and which one is the original

[Dimmauk]

Ok, if I have to win one game tomorrow, and I have no idea who the supporting cast will be:

1. Rodgers
2. Brady
3. Manning
4. Brees
5. Eli
6. Big Ben
7. Matty Ice
8. RG3
9. Schaub
10. Romo

If the one game is against Dallas, New England, or Green Bay?

RUSSELL WILSON

Also, 9/10 on the OP.

[Conrad]

where do y'all place the stafford infection

[Bregor]

where do y'all place the stafford infection

First on the fat face/diabeetus list.

[tyven]

my qb would be a centaur. upper half would be jay cutler, bottom half would be rg3's legs and giant dick. 3 legged centaur. thx 4 the lombardi

[Moss]

CAN YOU DO ANY BETTER?!

[Bregor]

my qb would be a centaur. upper half would be jay cutler, bottom half would be rg3's legs and giant dick. 3 legged centaur. thx 4 the lombardi

This needs to be a painting or something. I'd buy it for you so you could put it on your ceiling.

[Xajii]

where did that comic come from and which one is the original

/sp/. I didn't save the template, and now I'm at work, so I'm not going to go digging through 4chan to find it. There was a huge thread of these yesterday, so it's probably still floating around there. Honestly don't know which one was first, but the Tom Brady black receivers one and the Stafford throwing into quintuple coverage to Megatron one are the best

[tyven]

I love the Big Ben one

[Bregor]

Last week
M/L: 6-8
ATS: 8-6

Overall
M/L: 54-37
ATS: 46-42-3


BYE: Atlanta, Denver, Kansas City, Miami, Philadelphia, San Diego


THURSDAY, OCTOBER 18TH

8:20pm EDT

Seattle at San Francisco (-7) - Hats off to Russell Wilson (BADGERS, amirite archi) who matched Brady throw for throw last week in Seattle's upset victory against the mighty Patriots. With New England up 23-10, the Seattle offense went on two TD drives in the 4th quarter, amassing 140 yards in nine plays. For all the talk of ranking defenses on yards, turnovers, or points, I think we can all agree New England needs to make some plays in crunch time. I honestly don't know how the 49ers did so piss poor last week. The Greater Harbaugh was talking about complacency, but coaches always say that after a good team gets embarrassed. I think it's more likely that the Giants just have their number. Seattle is trying to build itself a lot like the G-Men of old, only difference being the Seahawks actually have a secondary. Lynch might have some success, but failing that I don't think Wilson and his receivers can air it out should San Fran's stout run defense reappear. That line looks a little big, but I just don't see San Fran losing two straight. 49ers win, Seahawks with the points.


SUNDAY, OCTOBER 21ST

1:00pm EDT

Baltimore at Houston (-6.5) - Game of the week. O NOES RAY LOUIS IZ INJURD!!!!11 Who gives a shit, it was obvious he's on the way out regardless. A smaller story but far greater impact is the absence of Lardarius Webb, the excellent cover corner who likely would have been tasked with covering Andre Johnson. Jimmy Smith on the other side has some skills and ideal size, but is a little light on experience against the league's best. Factor in that Ed Reed can't go half a season without being hobbled by something, and things are getting tight in Ballmurr. In retrospect, we all should have seen Houston's collapse last week coming. Sure, the matchups for the Texans were great -- they have top-notch corners to cover a Jennings-less Green Bay receiving corps, they can pound the ball on the Pack's mediocre run defense, and they are tough at home. But it was so obvious, you just had to ask yourself one simple question: does it seem like Green Bay is a 2-4 team, and Houston is a 6-0 team? Likewise, Houston matches up well with Baltimore. On paper, they give up some yards on the ground. But look closer at the stats and you see that teams run more on the Ravens than anyone else -- 35.5 rushes per game -- and their average allowed is a modest 3.8 yards per carry. All in all, I think Baltimore's defense should be fine in this game. Someone always steps up for them, and look for Courtney Upshaw to lead the linebackers. We may even be treated to a Sergio Kindle sighting! Also, Flacco/Rice/Torrey won't remind anyone of Aikman/Emmett/Irvin, but they get the job done here. Ravens in the upset.

Green Bay at St. Louis (+5.5) - The Rams suffered a brutal loss last week, losing to the Rams. They beat themselves by missing three field goals (one from 37 yards out) and failing twice to hit paydirt from inside the red zone. Otherwise, they played a hell of a game, finding balance on offense while playing tight defense. I already know they're gonna be my sleeper team in 2013, and I absolutely love Robert Quinn and Chris Long (although credit Jake Long and the 'Fins O-line for keeping Tannehill upright in that game). We all know what Green Bay did last week. They bottled up Arian Foster, Rodgers tossed six touchdowns, and even their secondary looked adequate. On the flip side of things, Jermichael Finley still has a severe case of the derpsies. But that shouldn't hurt them this week. Once again, I'm very high on St. Louis, but it won't be enough. Packers win, Rams with the points.

New Orleans at Tampa Bay (+3) - One win, against the Chargers no less, and all of a sudden the Saints are good enough to be favored on the road? Jesus Christ. I had to double-check to make sure I didn't screw up my pluses and minuses here. Unfortunately, I might have to agree with Vegas here. Tampa's more glaring weakness is giving up yards through the air, so I expect full Breesus mode on Sunday. I also expect good fantasy numbers from Doug Martin, Vincent Jackson, and yes, even JASH, but I don't think they can win a shootout. It feels so wrong saying this, but Saints win and cover.

Dallas at Carolina (+2) - Oh, Dallas. Your composure, your clock management, and your clutch performances are the stuff of legend. The 'Boys aren't a bad team, they just can't win unless most things break right for them. For example, their offense is decent, but since the start of the 2011 season, they're 2-10 when allowing at least 20 points. Point is, they have trouble keeping pace with teams who can score. And even though it's been a rough year for Cam Newton so far, coming off a bye I think he'll be ready to go a little nuts on the scoresheet. Panthers in the upset.

Arizona at Minnesota (-6) - How the mighty have fallen. Remember when the Cards were at the top of some power rankings? Well, nothing is more humbling than back-to-back losses to the Rams and Bills. At least we have the return of the Skelton Key to look forward to. As Derock pointed out last week, the Vikings really shouldn't have had trouble with Washington. Their red zone play selection in the first half was puzzling. Peterson had four touches in three trips inside the 20, and no completions to wide receivers meant they failed to take advantage of the Redskins' weak secondary. Arizona's defense won't be so forgiving, so it will take much better execution if they don't want to settle for chip shot field goals. Luckily, I think their defense turns Arizona over enough to give them some short fields. Vikings win, Cardinals with the points.

Tennessee at Buffalo (-3) - To describe this game, read the review for the Spinal Tap record, "Shark Sandwich." Bills win and cover.

Washington at NY Giants (-5.5) - OH EM GEE GAIZ RGIII!!!!!11eleven1 Giants win and cover.

Cleveland at Indianapolis (-2.5) - Teams usually get three points at home right off the bat, so that means Vegas considers Cleveland to be a half-point better than Indy right now, even considering the disparity between WEEDEN and Luck. COME AT ME, BRO. New ownership has officially taken over in Cleveland, and everyone is on notice. Shurmurhurrdurr, scared for his job, will probably be coaching not to lose, which is the surest way to lose. Colts win and cover.

4:25pm EDT

Jacksonville at Oakland (-4) - I usually try to give teams coming off a bye a little boost in terms of my perception of their talent. But that would require the Jags to have talent in the first place, which they don't. Sure, MoJoDrew is still doing this thing, but that defense is putrid. Oakland, on the other hand, really took it to Atlanta and almost came away with another quality win two games after beating Pittsburgh. Palmer, McFadden, and Denarius Moore do well in between the 20s, but not finding the end zone with consistency is what's keeping this team from being a playoff contender. Only Jacksonville, KC, Carolina and Miami have fewer passing TDs than Oakland, and only St. Louis, Jacksonville, and Tennessee have fewer rushing TDs. That's bad. Still, they're at home, and you'll notice the Jags on both those lists. Raiders win and cover.

NY Jets at New England (-10.5) - Well, the Jets finally looked like a playoff team last week, something they hadn't accomplished since the opener against Buffalo. Being +4 on the turnover battle and having an actual good running back quantum leap into Shonn Greene's body will do that though. The Patriots already have back-to-back losses this year, and I doubt very highly that it will happen to them again. Their three losses are by 1, 1, and 2 points. Their three wins are by 21, 24, and 10 points. This game will be ugly. Still, I hate two-score spreads. Patriots win, Jets with the points.

8:20pm EDT

Pittsburgh at Cincinnati (+1.5) - Another line I had to do a double-take on. Cincy lost to Cleveland last week on two big plays -- a bomb from WEEDEN to Josh Gordon, and a Deion off Dalton by Sheldon Brown -- and otherwise played well enough to win. Pittsburgh, meanwhile, lost to fucking Tennessee. How are they not throwing money at offensive linemen every off-season? "Oh, we're the Steelers, we don't spend big in free agency, we draft well." Enjoy your 7-9 season, you smug fucks. Bengals in the upset.


MONDAY, OCTOBER 22ND

Detroit at Chicago (-6) - It was a cold, dark time last week. Not only did I go below .500 in pick'em, but we were without CUTTY. We need the warm glow of his cigarettes to make us feel good again. And with the extra rest, Forte should be good as new. Look up inconsistent in the dictionary, and you'll find a picture of Jim Schwartz and Matthew Stafford looking their derpiest. In fact, Stafford usually looks like that pic of Homer I keep using when someone has gone full tard:

Spoiler: show

Spoiler: show

http://www1.pictures.zimbio.com/gi/M...5BCfvGjoNm.jpg

Mesmerizing. BEARS win and cover.

[Xajii]

Terrell Suggs is expected to play in a limited role on Sunday's matchup versus Houston.

I trust the organization enough to ensure that he doesn't stand to reinjure, but I also know that we can't expect to see him at peak performance right away. Still, a 50% Suggs is a huge boon to the otherwise dead defense, even if it isn't for the full game. His mere presence changes how offenses plan. Using him this early is little more than a posturing move, and I hope it pays off.

[archibaldcrane]

Packers lost two starting linebackers mid-game vs. the Texans and still destroyed them - tl;dr you don't need linebackers to beat Houston, just play 11v7

[Dimmauk]

Packers lost two starting linebackers mid-game vs. the Texans and still destroyed them - tl;dr you don't need linebackers to beat Houston, just play 11v7

Dumb.

[Rhinox]

Um

[Abandon]

Dumb.

[Abandon]

archi, congrats on leroying the shit out of that

[Abandon]

" Enjoy your 7-9 season, you smug fucks. "

that line made me laugh hard as fuck, so much... anger behind these words

[Xajii]

I want to know Bregor's top ten QBs so badly