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  1. #1
    THIS IS BREGOR'S STORY
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    2012-13 NFL Week 10: Breggy's Mid-season Report and .gif Recap

    Well most teams have eight games under their belts, so it's time for some mid-season superlatives.

    MVP: AFC - Peyton Manning, NFC - Matt Ryan
    something something quarterback league something something win-loss record something something Joe Flacco sucks. Seriously though, the Tyrannical Touchdown Tosser and Mattural Ice are humming right along, and Denver and Atlanta should easily win their divisions.

    Offensive player: AFC - Reggie Wayne, NFC - Adrian Peterson
    Apologies to Peterson's teammate Percy Harvin, but the numbers All Day (who's AD?) is putting up after a torn ACL are just ridiculous. As for Wayne, the rumors of a long, slow rebuild in Indy were greatly exaggerated. Both the Colts and Vikes are playoff contenders, thanks in no small part to the contributions of these two fantasy gods.

    Defensive player: AFC - J.J. Watt, NFC - Charles "Peanut" Tillman
    Need more info on these guys? Just ask archi and Rhino, respectively. With the amount of passing in the NFL right now, you need disruptive ends and instinctual corners, and these guys are the best of the best.

    Offensive rookie: AFC - Andrew Luck, NFC - Doug Martin
    Sorry, Washington. RGIII is going to be an NFL great (if Kyle Shanahan doesn't get him killed first) but Martin has been the more consistent and more electric player thus far. He's a slightly smaller, quicker LeSean McCoy with an actual offensive line to block for him. Luck is a no-brainer, equipped with massive talent and a neck beard that would make Orton proud.

    Defensive rookie: AFC - Chandler Jones, NFC - Bobby Wagner
    Could have easily picked Luke Kuechly, but Wagner is filling a huge role for Seattle while helping to keep them in contention. Before the season started, I picked Jones to be my DROY, and I'm sticking with it. Dude is a beast, period.

    Coach: AFC - Chuck Pagano/Bruce Arians, NFC - Mike Smith
    Everything about Indy this season has been a feel-good story. Love to see a franchise survive after their "franchise player" leaves. Smith gets to occupy this space until he loses.


    AFC EAST

    New England (5-3)


    Miami (4-4)


    NY Jets (3-5)


    Buffalo (3-5)



    AFC NORTH

    Baltimore (6-2)


    Pittsburgh (5-3)


    Cincinnati (3-5)


    Cleveland (2-7)



    AFC SOUTH

    Houston (7-1)


    Indianapolis (5-3)


    Tennessee (3-6)


    Jacksonville (1-7)



    AFC WEST

    Denver (5-3)


    San Diego (4-4)


    Oakland (3-5)


    Kansas City (1-7)



    NFC EAST

    NY Giants (6-3)


    Philadelphia (3-5)


    Dallas (3-5)


    Washington (3-6)



    NFC NORTH

    Chicago (7-1)
    Spoiler: show


    Green Bay (6-3)


    Minnesota (5-4)


    Detroit (4-4)



    NFC SOUTH

    Atlanta (8-0)


    Tampa Bay (4-4)


    New Orleans (3-5)


    Carolina (2-6)



    NFC WEST
    San Francisco (6-2)


    Seattle (5-4)


    Arizona (4-5)


    St. Louis (3-5)

  2. #2
    THIS IS BREGOR'S STORY
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    Six home dogs this week, to go along with three double-digit home favorites. Who said anything about parity?


    Last week
    M/L: 10-4
    ATS: 7-7

    Overall
    M/L: 80-52
    ATS: 61-66-5


    BYE: Arizona, Cleveland, Green Bay, Washington


    THURSDAY, NOVEMBER 8TH

    8:20pm EST

    Indianapolis at Jacksonville (+3) - Consider me a Colts bandwagoner. When they're healthy, Indy has just enough on both sides of the ball to hang with the better teams in the AFC. Fortunately for them, they're playing the worst team in the league this week. I recently watched the 60 Minutes piece on Jags owner Shad Khan, it was fascinating and I highly recommend it. I just can't recommend watching this game, except of course for Mike Mayock's brilliant insight. Colts win and cover.


    SUNDAY, NOVEMBER 11TH

    1:00pm EST

    Detroit at Minnesota (+2) - Earlier in the season, I called Ponder an effective game manager with a chance to be more than that, and Derock took offense. Lately he's not even filling that role well, as Seattle harassed him into an especially bad game last week. He has to be more effective if they hope to grab a wild card spot, because while Peterson and the defense are great, they're not enough to win without him. The Lions are on the upswing with wins in three of their last four, and Ol' Fat Face is finding his groove. But their problem is in the front seven, where Suh, Vanden Bosch, Avril, Fairley, and Corey Williams should be getting sacks in bunches, but they rank only 17th in the league. Without turning up the intensity on defense, they'll continue to lag behind the other playoff contenders. I think Minny gets enough big plays, even with Harvin nursing an ankle injury. That just means it's JEROME time. Vikings in the upset.

    Atlanta at New Orleans (+2.5) - Like Detroit, New Orleans has won three of their last four, and has playoff aspirations. Their defense finally showed up last week, but in all fairness every defense just has to literally show up at the stadium against Vick and the DRAM TRAM. I'm not convinced they can get stops against good offenses, or score on good defenses. Atlanta was maddening to watch last week, racking up over 450 yards of offense but managing just one touchdown, and a fucking Mike Turner touchdown at that. This will not happen again, as I fully expect JULIO to go off on the 'Aints for at least half a Doug Martin. Falcons win and cover.

    NY Giants at Cincinnati (+4) - Something just feels wrong about the Giants this season. On paper, they're basically the same team that just won a Super Bowl, and they're literally the same team that curbstomped the 49ers at Candlestick. But since the San Fran game, they've seemed complacent, just squeaking by Dallas and Washington, and falling asleep while Big Ben and the Steelers had their way with them last week. Thanks to Nicks's injury and the inconsistency from the rest of the receivers, Victor Cruz is now their only legit weapon. If teams can bottle him up, they can stop New York. Where I live, the weather is getting colder, there's a windy chill in the air, and that can only mean one thing... ♫It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas!♫ Bengals in the upset.

    Oakland at Baltimore (-7.5) - You can't blame Baltimore for not smashing Cleveland last week. Rivarly games are like that. The important thing is they executed when they needed to, and played turnover-free ball. Coming back home and playing a Run-DMC-less Oakland team, they should be fine. Ravens win and cover.

    Buffalo at New England (-11) - New England, at home, coming off a bye, playing Buffalo? The last time they lost to Buffalo at home was two days before the Bush/Gore election in 2000. Yeah. Patriots win and cover.

    Tennessee at Miami (-6) - So, uh, hate to admit it, but Chris Johnson might actually be back. Last week marked four straight games in which he was effective, although those two fumbles were costly (PEANUT). Miami lost a tough one to the Colts (as I predicted) but I have a feeling they'll bounce back strong. They've surprised me with their resiliency a couple times this season, and I loved what I saw of Joe Philbin. He has a credibility that we haven't seen in a Miami coach in a long time, including my boy Nick Saban. If they can add some receivers and secondary help in the next off-season, I like them to take a big step forward. As for a more short-term goal, they'll be fine on Sunday. Dolphins win and cover.

    San Diego at Tampa Bay (-3) - After last season, no one thought of the word "explosive" when talking about the Bucs' offense, unless it was in the context of, "Watching JASH gives me explosive diarrhea." But this year is a different story, and over the last four weeks Tampa is averaging 36 points per game. San Diego had lost three straight, and it would have been four if not for how terrible Kansas City is. Their four wins -- Oakland, Tennessee, and Kansas City twice -- are about as meager as it gets. Also they lost to Cleveland. Bucs win and cover.

    Denver at Carolina (+4) - Kudos to the Carolina defense, who held Bobby Triple and company without a touchdown for 58 and a half minutes last week. They didn't cause any turnovers, but great execution on third down and sacking Griffin four times helped to seal the victory. Unfortunately for them, a competent opponent comes to Charlotte this week, so they won't get off that easy again. The Cats secondary is not built to handle Denver's passing attack, so expect big numbers from TTT and my boy Demaryius. Broncos win and cover.

    4:05pm EST

    NY Jets at Seattle (-6.5) - The Jets were off last week, so I didn't get a chance to express how deeply sorry I am that I ever considered them to be a good football team. Don't believe me? Consider that Celeras hasn't posted since week 3. Seattle is basically the team I thought New York would be; punishing defense and plodding, uninspired offense. I do love me some Skittles though. Still, I think this will be close, because the Jets are coming off a bye, and their season is basically on the line. Seahawks win, Jets with the points.

    4:25pm EST

    St. Louis at San Francisco (-11.5) - Speaking of the non-excitement of the NFC West, this game promises to be a snoozer. I think St. Louis is struggling to find their next identity, all they had before was a great pass defense, but Rodgers and Brady made short work of that. Alex Smith won't light them up like that, but San Fran should do enough to get by. Amendola should be back, so at least the Rams offense could have a little more get-up this week. 49ers win, Rams with the points.

    Dallas at Philadelphia (+1) -
    http://s3-ec.buzzfed.com/static/enha...44447104-5.gif
    Cowboys win and cover.

    8:20pm EST

    Houston at Chicago (-1) - Fucking finally have a prime time game I care about. At 7-1 and atop the AFC power rankings, I feel Houston is vastly overrated. They've had a light schedule and gotten by on the backs of two dynamic players, Foster and Watt. On the other hand, I don't think the general populous will ever buy into Chicago while Cutler is their starter. People just don't like him, and I have no idea why. Jealousy, I suppose. I think Houston's offense hits a major roadblock here, and Chicago squeaks by in a low-scoring affair. Bears win and cover.


    MONDAY, NOVEMBER 12TH

    8:30pm EST

    Kansas City at Pittsburgh (-12.5) - Kansas City in prime time two weeks in a row? Fucking kill yourself, Goodell. Steelers win and cover.

  3. #3
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    MVP
    AFC - Peyton Manning: Both on and off the field. Dude just bought 21 Papa John's locations in the state where they just legalized pot. Genius.
    NFC - Matt Ryan: This is tough because I think having the absolutely best receiving corps in the NFL helps, but you can't really give MVP to just one of them, so.
    League - Peyton Manning

    Offensive POY
    AFC - AJ Green: I think he continues to have strong games, whereas someone like Reggie Wayne or Arian Foster starts to regress a bit. Could also see through my homer goggles Ray Rice exploding in the second half of the season, as this is reportedly the offense's plan.
    NFC - Frank Gore: I doubt him every season and I am especially surprised to see what he's been doing this one, but this work horse is plowing through everybody, and he's one of the top backs in the league right now. (Note: I would award this to a team of Roddy/JULIO if I could)
    League - Frank Gore (but it'll be Aaron Rodgers or some shit)

    Defensive POY
    AFC - JJ Watt: Don't pass near him. Also, "near him" is a lot bigger than you think it is.
    NFC - PEANUT: If he keeps this up, it will certainly go down as one of the most impressive performances by a CB, ever.
    League - Too close to call, let's see the second half.

    Offensive ROY
    AFC - Andrew Luck: He's putting up Peyton numbers. No, I mean, he's got the exact same numbers as Peyton right now.
    NFC - RGIII: Compare strength of the defenses they have faced, expectations, and how games are planned around them. I love Doug Martin, but half of his success is thanks to being very underestimated and facing some less than stellar defensive squads. RGIII is one of those guys who does things in spite of everything around him. Did anyone thikn he could throw like he can? I don't know. I didn't.
    League - Andrew Luck, but this isn't set in stone.

    Defensive ROY
    AFC - Chandler Jones: The beast of a beastly family. (Note: Whitney Mercilus could snipe this with a strong second half of the season.)
    NFC - Bobby Wagner: Can't say I know too much about the rookies playing on defense in the NFC, and there honestly aren't that many, but I agree with this pick.
    League - IDK

    Head Coach
    AFC - Chuck Pagano: No surprises here. I'm still pissed that we lost him after only one beautiful, beautiful year as DC, and his replacement is terrible. Stay healthy, Chuck.
    NFC - Mike Smith / PETE CARROLL?: If the Seahawks keep doing things, I could see controversy here. Mike Smith, AKA Sad John McCain, has a lot to work with offense and not a lot to work with on defense, whereas it's the other way around for Petey. Mike Smith also gets to play NFC South defenses, though.
    League - Chuck Pagano

  4. #4
    C A P S UNLEASH THE FURY
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    Per Adam Schefter:
    Bears CB Charles Tillman told WSCR-AM he won't play in Sunday night's game against Texans if his wife goes into labor. She's due any day.
    HOLD IT IN, WOMAN
    THIS GAME IS IMPORTANT

  5. #5
    THIS IS BREGOR'S STORY
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    Imagine if Antonio Cromartie had that policy, he'd never play football.

  6. #6
    Fuck It, I'm Goin Deep Fan Club President
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    Matthew Berry ‏@MatthewBerryTMR
    MT @davebirkett Leslie Frazier on teleconference w/Detroit reporters said Percy Harvin "made a lot of progress yesterday" & is day to day

    PERCY

  7. #7
    Fuck It, I'm Goin Deep Fan Club President
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    Adam Schefter ‏@AdamSchefter
    As if game weren't bad enough, NFL has fined Titans QB Matthew Hasselbeck $15,750 for a horse collar tackle on Bears CB Kelvin Hayden.

    Adam Schefter ‏@AdamSchefter
    Bears CB Charles Tillman told WSCR-AM he won't play in Sunday night's game against Texans if his wife goes into labor. She's due any day.

  8. #8
    THIS IS BREGOR'S STORY
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    Quote Originally Posted by Xajii View Post
    Per Adam Schefter:
    Bears CB Charles Tillman told WSCR-AM he won't play in Sunday night's game against Texans if his wife goes into labor. She's due any day.
    HOLD IT IN, WOMAN
    THIS GAME IS IMPORTANT
    Quote Originally Posted by Cail View Post
    Adam Schefter ‏@AdamSchefter
    Bears CB Charles Tillman told WSCR-AM he won't play in Sunday night's game against Texans if his wife goes into labor. She's due any day.

  9. #9
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    Re: 2012-13 NFL Week 10: Breggy's Mid-season Report and .gif Recap

    Cail you valisked

  10. #10
    Pens win! Pens Win!!! PENS WIN!!!!!
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    Someone make that girl go into labour. We need more TILLMAN. Bears need this WIN!

  11. #11
    Fuck It, I'm Goin Deep Fan Club President
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    i had just woken up;;

  12. #12
    Fuck It, I'm Goin Deep Fan Club President
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    also, OP and picks post were great..need to find a favorite line for sig-ness

  13. #13
    Fuck It, I'm Goin Deep Fan Club President
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    Quote Originally Posted by Gadritan View Post
    Just tell him that's unacceptable due to religious reasons. I always get Sundays off for that.

    And like, if you knew me, that's a fucking hilarious statement.
    its pretty much mandatory. if u dont show up, u wont be passing the class p much

  14. #14
    Cardiac Cat
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    Clearly a DAL fan

  15. #15
    Relic Shield
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    Just about anything said about Houstons lack of competition can be said about Chicago..down to both having their lone loss to the Packers.

    Both are great teams regardless of how the teams put in front of them have done. This may end up the game of the year and is, at least, a possible Super Bowl preview.

  16. #16

  17. #17
    can't shot spam
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    Gore for OPOY? lol

  18. #18
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    Quote Originally Posted by Derock View Post
    Gore for OPOY? lol
    how did i miss that lol

  19. #19
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    Just looked up some numbers yeah that was a stupid choice. Still impressed with him though. I guess I'd go AP too. BUT I WANT TO BELIEVE

  20. #20
    Fuck It, I'm Goin Deep Fan Club President
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    Unfortunately, now that the first half of the NFL regular season is over, I don't see Roger Goodell joining me in turning on some Slayer and yelling to retired commissioner Paul Tagliabue, "Hey, Paul, we're done with this segment."

    These actions are reserved for "This Is SportsCenter" commercials. In honor of that commercial, we're going to grade the first half of the season a little differently this season. Normally, I put on my professor gear and pass out grades. But my recent "SportsCenter" spot created a positive buzz, so we'll use a musical theme.

    This year, we're breaking the league into four categories. I'm not using the label "elite" or identifying the next group as Chad Penningtons, as I do in my quarterback ratings.

    Slayer doesn't do Chad Pennington.

    Instead, we'll call the best teams "Heavy Metal." The next group is "Classic Rock," the teams good enough to fill an arena but not a stadium. The third classification is "One-Hit Wonders." The worst teams make up the "Elevator Music" category. No one wants to spend three hours listening to Muzak ... or watching the Kansas City Chiefs try to play catch-up.

    Let's rock.
    http://espn.go.com/nfl/story/_/page/...s-all-32-teams

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