2012-13 NFL Week 12: COWBOYS SUPA BOWL WEEK!!!!11

[Bregor]

Spoiler: show

http://30fps.mocksession.com/wp-cont...8-12-57-54.jpg

JB: Hello and welcome to Cowboys Stadium, the sight for this afternoon's annual tradition, the Dallas Cowboys Super Bowl! I'm Joe Buck, and with me as always, adding his completely unbiased and insightful opinions on the game, is none other than Troy Aikman.
TA: Bleep blap bloo dee doo. *fart noises*
JB: Exhibit A for concussion safety, folks. One of the questions entering this year's biggest game for Dallas was just how much failure they had to endure to make this all-important game for them completely meaningless for the rest of the league. Would their defense collapse, giving up huge point totals? Or would Romo and his mistake-prone brethren on the offense fail to click, despite all their "talent"?

(video montage of ineptitude)

JB: As you can see, Troy, it's been a little bit of everything this season for the Cowboys.
TA: Well Tony Romo is the quarterback and I know from being both a Cowboy and a quarterback that the quarterback is responsible for taking the ball and driving it down the field. Quarterback.
JB: Couldn't have said it better if I were Trent Dilfer. This year's game is a little different from our usual fare, as Dallas is sitting at 5-5. The definition of mediocrity. But for some of our optimistic viewers, there could be playoff implications in the Dallas's future. For further insight, we'll bring in our FOX Sports insider, Jay Glazer, who can hopefully form complete sentences.
JG: Thanks, Joe. Now both of these teams are in the NFC East, and I've spoken with their division rivals on the New York Giants defense, and they tell me that they are spending this Thanksgiving holiday by eating fresh with Subway!
JB: He'll do anything for a paycheck, ladies and gentlemen. Now, their opponent today is the Washington Redskins, and I have been informed by adidas that I will be executed if I don't say "RGIII" at least eleven times, so adjust your lives accordingly.
TA: RGIII is a quarterback!
JB: Good job, Troy. You get a cookie. Now, we know Cowboys nation is ready for kickoff, and we wouldn't want to keep this collection of hangers-on from the mid-'90s glory days and native Texas dullards waiting for long, for fear they would forget how to breathe or choke on their own tongues. Any last thing you want to add, Troy?
TA: A producer just told me to mention someone on defense, so DeMarcus Ware! He will try to sack Washington's quarterback!
JB: Now that's a good call!

(animated FOX robot dances Gangnam Style as NFL on FOX theme song blares)


Last week
M/L: 10-4
ATS: 6-8

Overall
M/L: 100-59-1
ATS: 75-80-5


THURSDAY, NOVEMBER 22ND

12:30pm EST

Houston at Detroit (+3) - Houston nearly fell apart against the Jags, at home no less. Meanwhile for Detroit, Megatron caught a TD, which is all anyone cares about. The Lions have a proud tradition of losing on Thanksgiving, dropping their last eight, and it should continue here. Texans win and cover.

4:15pm EST

Washington at Dallas (-3) - See above. Redskins in the upset.

8:20pm EST

New England at NY Jets (+7) - As if one overhyped team with a Ryan on the coaching staff wasn't enough, we get the Jets in prime time. They finally played a complete game last week, which they're doing every four or five weeks, but Belichick owns Rex (just ask Rex). Patriots win, Jets with the points.


SUNDAY, NOVEMBER 25TH

1:00pm EST

Denver at Kansas City (+10.5) - Demaryius Thomas. Broncos win and cover.

Buffalo at Indianapolis (-3) - Buffalo, coming off a surprising defensive effort against Miami, could be the perfect spoiler or trap game or whatever for contending teams. Indy just throttled by the Pats, so we'll see if the feel-good Pagano stuff lasts after a game like that. I think they get back on track, Colts win and cover.

Pittsburgh at Cleveland (+1) - Take the under, FREE MONEY. Pittsburgh wins and covers.

Oakland at Cincinnati (-8) - ♫Have yourself a merry little Christmas...♫ Bengals win and cover.

Seattle at Miami (+3) - Seattle is the better team and coming off a bye. Seahawks win and cover.

Atlanta at Tampa Bay (+1) - Julio Jones on the road. Falcons win and cover.

Minnesota at Chicago (PK) - I remember, while I was in college, ESPN doing a piece on Soldier Field. They interviewed David Terrell, the forgettable U. of Michigan alumnus, Bears receiver, and amateur meteorologist who said, "You don't want to come to THE SOLDIER FIELD! It's all COLD and we got URLACHER and MIKE BROWN CHASIN' YOU DOWN! I told (Aaron) Shea, WHAT?! You wanna come to the SOLDIER FIELD? Shea, you CRAZY, SON! YOU DO NOT WANT TO COME TO THE SOLDIER FIELD!" Bears win in the pick'em.

Tennessee at Jacksonville (+3) - Words about these teams are supposed to go here, but drove for seven and a half hours today. Titans win and cover.

4:05pm EST

Baltimore at San Diego (+1) - Phil Rivers. Ravens win and cover.

4:25pm EST

St. Louis at Arizona (-2.5) - I hate The Skelton Key for being useless on my boy Skirk's team. Rams win in the upset, TAKE THAT ASSHOLE.

San Francisco at New Orleans (+1.5) - Okay, this Saints coverage has to stop. They aren't a good team, and they're not making the playoffs. 49ers win and cover.

8:20pm EST

Green Bay at NY Giants (-2.5) - Dat line. FREE MONEY. Pack in the upset.


MONDAY, NOVEMBER 26TH

Carolina at Philadelphia (+2) - Words I thought I'd never write this season: Panthers win and cover.

[Necronus]

Carolina at Philadelphia (+2) - Words I thought I'd never write this season: Panthers win and cover.

A+ thread intro.

Fantasy Tangent - As for the quoted game above, I've been rotating my fantasy defense to whoever plays Philly if available ... I find myself on the verge of playing Carolina this week. I are confused.

[Melena]

Kapernick supposedly starting sunday. If he put up 247 yards on the bears I feel sorry for anyone in fantasy that has to play the saints D this week.

[Tajin]

Awesome.

[Dimmauk]

Joe Buck looks like he has had as many concussions as Troy and Jerry Jones in that pic.

[Rhinox]

Wow Jim harbaugh just royally fucked Alex smith

[tyven]

IM GOING TO FUCKIN LOL WHEN SAINTS WIN. CHRIS IVORY IS THAT DUDE

[Rhinox]

NFL can't be too happy either. What kind if message does this send to players around the league? They gonna start hiding concussions now if they hadn't already.

[Melena]

Players said they hid this shit long before concussions were in the news. Smith knew since last year he was on borrowed time.

[Cleverness]

I'm trying to figure out if the Cowboys losing last year on 9/11 to the Jets, or losing this year on Thanksgiving to a slumping Redskins team on prime time is better. It's so difficult to pick.

Also amazing thread, I especially love the title.

[Rhinox]

Still got royally fucked by harbaugh. Can't wait til this blows up in their face.

[Tajin]

Who gives a shit about messages. If krapper works (to be seen) then its whatevs.

Not like we're making it to the supa bowl with either anyway.

[tyven]

I'm trying to figure out if the Cowboys losing last year on 9/11 to the Jets, or losing this year on Thanksgiving to a slumping Redskins team on prime time is better. It's so difficult to pick.

Also amazing thread, I especially love the title.

SKINS R NEVER SLUMPING. BOB TRIPLE 4TDS ALL DAY

[Arkanna]

SKINS R NEVER SLUMPING. BOB TRIPLE 4TDS ALL DAY

^ Love this guy.

[Cail]

greatest MNF game ever

[Tweek]

The problem the 49ers have right now is a good problem to have. If or when we go back to Smith he'll have even more motivation

[Lucavi]

SKINS R NEVER SLUMPING. BOB TRIPLE 4TDS ALL DAY

Your passion is enviable.

[Cail]

btw bregs, ur lack of mention of SPILLER is saddening

[Cail]

also, read that whole commentary in joe buck+troy's voices...damn u bregs, u sly son of a bitch

[noblemountain]

I did too. >< I loved the Jay Glazer bit. He is such a corny motherfucker but I love him on twitter.