2012-13 NFL Week 13: Playoff Push and/or Race to the Bottom

**Bregor** · 2012-11-29 00:13

Welp, the byes are done, we picked the Thanksgiving turkey clean, and we forge into December thinking about the long-term implications of every game. This week, we have four games between teams with at least six wins, and the rest is a whole lot of fecal matter. Cleveland and Carolina won their respective games last week for some reason, leaving Kansas City and Jacksonville to battle it out for the top pick come April. Although most of you don't care about college football, it's a deep draft class, but one without the generational talent that produced Luck and RGIII last year. Teams like KC or Philly, who might be looking for their next franchise quarterback, will find this group lacking. But there is a boatload of talent on defense and along the offensive line.

As for the good teams, five of the eight division leaders have at least a three-game lead, including all four AFC divisions. The NFC East and North should keep things interesting for a little while, however, as we finally get a worthwhile game on Monday night during which Jon Gruden will do his tired schtick (at least before he starts recruiting for the Vols). And then there are those wild cards, which lead to NFL broadcasters describing those "IN THE HUNT" graphics that show 4-7 teams for some reason. Maybe we'll see some surprises, or maybe we'll just slog through the muck en route to a Houston/Atlanta Super Bowl.

Last week
M/L: 12-4
ATS: 8-6-2

Overall
M/L: 112-63-1
ATS: 83-86-7

THURSDAY, NOVEMBER 29TH

8:20pm EST

New Orleans at Atlanta (-3.5) - Vegas really hates the Falcons. You get three points for home field advantage, so they are essentially saying Atlanta is only a half-point better than New Orleans. What is this I don't even. Sure, Atlanta has some problems here and there, most notably run defense. But they're a solid team that limits turnovers and penalties, and can air it out with the best receiving duo in football. The Saints also have weaknesses, namely everything but their passing game. I think last week's loss takes the wind out of N'awlins' sails a bit, and Atlanta comes out firing to avenge their only loss thus far. Falcons win and cover.

SUNDAY, DECEMBER 2ND

1:00pm EST

Houston at Tennessee (+5.5) - The Texans have looked merely mortal as of late, beating a CUTTY-less Chicago team by one score, then needing overtime against inferior opponents in two straight. Foster's attempts per game is at his career high, while his yards per carry is only 4.0, a career low. Getting Ben Tate back in the swing of things will be crucial to keep the tread on Foster's tires fresh. Tennessee just fired their offensive coordinator, whose coaching was probably along the lines of, "Give it to CJ and hope he doesn't dance around until he gets tackled." In all fairness, if I was dealing with that offensive line and a Hasselbeck/Locker tandem under center, I'd be out of ideas too. Texans win and cover.

Minnesota at Green Bay (-9) - So, uh, the Packers are 13th in the league in scoring offense and 18th in yardage. I guess Greg Jennings was more integral than we thought? Rodgers leads the league in sacks taken with 37, which is already more than his total last season, so there's that. I guess teams are pinning their ears back because Benson is hurt, right archi? Anyway, maybe it's time to admit that this team isn't the juggernaut we've come to know and love. Minny seems to have fallen from grace, and one particularly feisty Facebook friend of mine is calling for Frazier and Ponder's heads. What exactly were your expectations during training camp? Did you change those during the 5-1 start to the season? That's on you, buddy. Anyway, with the Vikes in the midst of their hellish late schedule, things won't get any easier. Just keep racking up those numbers, Adrian. Packers win, Vikings with the points.

New England at Miami (+7.5) - In picking the last seven Miami games, I am 2-5. I should just give up trying to figure out this team. I do like what they're doing, but they have such gaping holes. Maybe don't trade a top receiver for two third-round picks? Jeff Ireland is literally the worst. New England looks to be done with their early season hiccups and is on a roll, it wouldn't surprise me in the least to see them run the table and take over the top spot from Houston. I'd like to see them get a little more pressure on opposing quarterbacks, but the defense as a whole is much better than last season. And Brady is, well, still Brady. Add in that they're 6th in the league in rushing (!) and it gets downright scary. Patriots win and cover.

Seattle at Chicago (-4) - Last week, Chicago was singing ♫I want my Cutty back, Cutty back, Cutty back, Cutty back, Cutty back, Cutty back, Cutty back, I want my / Lovie's quarterback stud♫ And did they get him back, boy howdy. Sure, he only threw for 188 and one touchdown. But on a day the Bears couldn't run for shit, he helped them go 11-for-19 on third down and keep the ball for over 37 minutes. Meanwhile, Seattle essentially shit themselves, giving up 10 points in just over five minutes in the loss to Miami. The 'Hawks are 1-5 on the road, and wins don't come easy at Soldier Field. Bears win and cover.

Jacksonville at Buffalo (-6) - Buffalo is playing a little better recently, as Mario Williams is heating up and Spiller continues to do Spiller-like things. They seem like a team that's a few players away from contending, especially if the Jets continue their descent into Cowboys-esque irrelevancy. If the Jags win in Jacksonville, and no one is there to see it, did it really happen? This is a much better team with Chad Henne under center (and he probably should have been all season) but now Rashad "2.8 ypc" Jennings is the last man standing in the backfield once again. Still, they usually surprise me by keeping it closer than I would normally think. I'll take the Bills to win, Jaguars with the points.

Indianapolis at Detroit (-4.5) - So Jim Schwartz is just a buffoon, right? I mean, it's kind of your job as head coach to know the rules of a challenge. He doesn't call the plays since he's a defensive guy. Literally the only decisions he makes are whether to go for two after a touchdown, and whether to punt or go for it on 4th and short. And when to challenge. That's it. I hope the Lions miss the playoffs by one game. Look, I know cancer sucks, and I'm sure Chuck Pagano is the best, but this shit is getting ridiculous. As for actual football, Indy has been sorta meh on the road, but a road dome shouldn't be as bad for Luck and company. Colts in the upset.

Carolina at Kansas City (+3) - Holy shit, Carolina is a road favorite for the second straight week, and I'm going with it. Cam Juice is a dish best served cold. Panthers win and cover.

Arizona at NY Jets (-4.5) -

http://assets.sbnation.com/assets/17...thancassel.gif

Cardinals in the upset.

San Francisco at St. Louis (+7) - I've always been an Alex Smith apologist. He's not that bad, and just needed the right system, which Harbaugh understood. Then he stopped throwing to CLICK CLACK a few weeks ago, so he can go fuck himself. TEAM CUP O' NICK. I love the Rams and I love Jeff Fisher. I just wish I knew what happened in the Jets game. If Amendola can go on Sunday, I like them to keep it interesting. If not, at least I'll get to see how adept Kaepernick is at eluding Robert Quinn and Chris Long. 49ers win, Rams with the points.

4:05pm EST

Tampa Bay at Denver (-7) - How the hell does the Tyrannical Touchdown Tosser only put up 17 points on the Chiefs? Ridiculous. I expect him to go nuts in this one. Tampa will be without Eric Wright, which is probably a good thing. I still have nightmares about him getting worked by Chad Johnson, Derrick Mason, Mike Wallace, and pretty much everyone else in the AFC while in Cleveland. Fuck that guy. Broncos win and cover.

4:25pm EST

Cincinnati at San Diego (+1.5) - With Big Ben on the mend, I like Cincy to snag the last playoff spot in the AFC. The offense is clicking, and Geno Atkins is playing like a man possessed. They need to get everyone in the secondary healthy and on the same page, but otherwise they're solid. Norval Turner is still coaching the Chargers for reasons undetermined. It won't last long. Bengals win and cover.

Cleveland at Oakland (+2) - With names like Sean Payton, Jon Gruden, and Nick Saban floating around, and two former head coaches as his coordinators, Pat Shurmur has to be nervous. I would be too if I just had a game with a +7 turnover margin that I only won by six fucking points. Point is, Cleveland isn't going to lie down for a draft pick, as Shurmur will do everything he can to keep his job. With Al Davis dead and buried, I'm hoping Dennis Allen isn't under the same microscope. The Raiders seem like they have decent pieces in place, and they're in a very winnable division, especially if Peyton hangs it up in a year or two. I wish Run-DMC was 100% for this, because he and TRENT would put on a show. Such as it is, Cleveland wins and covers.

Pittsburgh at Baltimore (-8) - Only line I could find, I'll adjust it as we get closer to Sunday. Ballmurr is a beast at home, and although they've had some close shaves with New England and Dallas this season, they're 21-1 at M&T since the start of the 2010 season. Pittsburgh should just do something hilarious like bring in Marcus Vick or Joey Harrington to play quarterback at this point. Big Ben practiced today, but I'd wager he won't suit up just yet. Ravens win and cover.

8:20pm EST

Philadelphia at Dallas (-10) -

http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_ly...ao2_r2_250.gif

Cowboys win, Eagles with the points.

MONDAY, DECEMBER 3RD

8:30pm EST

NY Giants at Washington (+2.5) - Just as I was ready to say the Giants were a far cry from their championship form last season, they stomp Green Bay on national television. My 20M team hopes Eli continues on this course for the rest of the season. They'll need to put up some points against Washington, who now has Garçon back and looks legit dangerous. God, the preseason hype for them next fall will be unbearable. But they've struggled againt good teams, which I guess New York is again. Giants win and cover.

**Kang** · 2012-11-29 00:17

Good stuff. I'm putting my vote in now for the week 14 headline: "Plz fire Norv Turner already"

**Cail** · 2012-11-29 06:16

wheres the panthers analysis?! worst thread ever

Spoiler: show

**Cail** · 2012-11-29 06:17

Oakland Raiders linebacker Rolando McClain has been informed by the team that he will be released on Thursday, according to a source. McClain, the eighth overall pick in the 2010 draft, was held out of practice Wednesday because of an undisclosed team-related issue.

**Cail** · 2012-11-29 06:23

supposedly he made a post on his FB that hes no longer on the raiders, then he deleted it

**Dimmauk** · 2012-11-29 06:50

Philly beats the cowboys and both teams fans will cry about it.

**Tajin** · 2012-11-29 07:56

Teams need to secure playoff spots soon. This IN THE HUNT with half the conference in it is just silly.

**Conrad** · 2012-11-29 08:41

Originally Posted by Dimmauk

Philly beats the cowboys and both teams fans will cry about it.

so true. there's already a few among us who are complaining that we're tanking the year AFTER luck and bobby triple

**wipers** · 2012-11-29 09:40

Philly vs. Cowboys whoever wins we all lose.

**tyven** · 2012-11-29 09:49

Originally Posted by Skirkle

so true. there's already a few among us who are complaining that we're tanking the year AFTER luck and bobby triple

AND TANNEHILL AND WILSON AND WEEDONG AMIRITE. 2012 YAR OF THE QURETBACK

**noblemountain** · 2012-11-29 10:49

rolo has had a lot of off the field issues lately too. he may be the type of cat who needs a really strong coach like saban to function

**Xajii** · 2012-11-29 12:53

Free money on JAX game. HENNE

**archibaldcrane** · 2012-11-29 13:13

postan for tappytalks

**Cail** · 2012-11-29 13:58

Adam Schefter ‏@AdamSchefter
Packers RB Cedric Benson now officially out for the year.

**Mertron** · 2012-11-29 14:05

vick failed his concussion test again

i dont think he has a concussion, hes just dumb

**archibaldcrane** · 2012-11-29 14:17

Originally Posted by Cail

Adam Schefter ‏@AdamSchefter
Packers RB Cedric Benson now officially out for the year.

Yeah, Derrick Sherrod too (last year's starting LT who had a bad compound leg fracture in december of 2011), his leg must've really gotten fucked up to still be out.

**AidenCarby** · 2012-11-29 14:18

Smart enough to sit out the rest of the season.

**Headspace** · 2012-11-29 14:21

Shit mod. Shit thread.

**tyven** · 2012-11-29 14:24

SANU A SHIT WR. GET MORE THAN 30 YARDS GDI I WANT TO USE YOU

**Mertron** · 2012-11-29 14:25

Originally Posted by tyven

SANU A SHIT WR. GET MORE THAN 30 YARDS GDI I WANT TO USE YOU

how dare you

RUTGERS

Thread: 2012-13 NFL Week 13: Playoff Push and/or Race to the Bottom

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