2012-13 NFL Week 15: The Playoff Machine Demands a Sacrifice!

[Bregor]

The Playoff Machine is back! Follow this link:

http://espn.go.com/nfl/playoffs/machine

Enter in the results for the last three weeks, and post your standings and playoff matchups. Here's what I came up with:



Let the hate from the Giants and Steelers fans flow!


Last week
M/L: 9-7
ATS: 10-6

Overall
M/L: 131-76-1
ATS: 103-97-8


THURSDAY, DECEMBER 13TH

8:20pm EST

Cincinnati at Philadelphia (+4.5) - Marvin Lewis Marvin'd his way to a home loss to the fucking Cowboys last week, which should get him fired before the post-game press conference. This week they draw another inferior NFC East opponent in Philly. I still like what the Bengals are doing, and I think they have one of the better offenses in the AFC, while the defense does just enough to keep it interesting. The Eagles got a road win of their own after a furious comeback in Tampa. Enough wins like that, and you might see Reid and Foles back in action come September. One can only hope. Bryce Brown managed not to fumble for once, but his utterly useless fantasy day cost me my 20-Man playoff game. I am noting this in my oath book. The only reason I'm watching this game is to hear Mike Mayock describe just how much of a beast Geno Atkins is. Pay attention, Tajin. Bengals win and cover.


SUNDAY, DECEMBER 16TH

1:00pm EST

Indianapolis at Houston (-8) - Well, well, well. Looks like the Texans shit the bed when squaring off against a good team. Color me shocked! Vegas is betting they'll bounce back strong coming back to Houston, but I wouldn't count on it. Indy is 9-4 for a reason, despite being out-scored on the year. Critics are starting to pop up saying Luck turns the ball over too much, but I like the gunslinger attitude. Factor in his neckbeard and a hint of creepy ugliness, and he could be a mobile Brett Favre. Houston's offense needs to get back on track in a hurry. Schaub and Foster looked out of ideas last week, so maybe it's time for Ben Tate to become more of a factor. This should be an entertaining game, and I like the Texans to win, Colts with the points.

Denver at Baltimore (+2.5) - Oh, how I love the NFL. Three weeks ago, Flacco was elite and the Ravens were a contender for a first-round bye. Two losses and one high-profile termination later, and the bandwagon looks pretty empty. I think Ballmurr gets back on track in a big way, especially on defense. Johnny Harbaugh isn't saying much about injuries, but I think Ray Lewis plays and gives them the boost they need, at least in the pre-game warm-up. Denver hasn't lost since October 7th, and the MVP race seems to be coming down to Greater Manning and Peterson. What no one is talking about, for the second straight year I might add, is Von Miller and the stout Bronco defense. But it's not just him -- Elvis Dumervil, Champ Bailey, Rahim Moore, and Wesley Woodyard are once again stellar, second-round draft pick Derek Wolfe is playing well, and former Cleveland Brown great Mike Adams is making a big impact at strong safety. This is a tough game to pick, since I love what Denver is doing, but I just don't see Baltimore dropping three straight. I'll hedge and pick Broncos to win, Ravens with the points.

Jacksonville at Miami (-7) - Holy shit, Miami snatched up Armon Binns from Cincinnati! Tyche, buy your tickets for Super Bowl XLVIII RIGHT NOW. Never mind the fact that they've dropped five out of their last six, and Jake Long will soon be a distant memory. All kidding aside, their defense is still above average, which should be enough to stomp the 2-11 Jags. That line looks deceptively large, but bear in mind that Jacksonville just lost by seven to the fucking Jets. Dolphins win and cover.

Washington at Cleveland (+1) - The line opened at CLE -7, but now that Bob Triple is practicing, everyone just assumed he'll carve Cleland up for brunch. Not so fast, my friend. Despite what we saw against the Giants last week, I still don't trust Washington's defense to stop anyone. They've given up the most passing TDs in the league and rank 31st in passing yardage allowed. And you know what that means... WEEDENING TIME! In all seriousness, I'm expecting a shootout, and I like Cleveland's now-healthy defense to at least slow down RGIII and The Butler a little bit. Browns in the upset.

Minnesota at St. Louis (-3) - Following another monster day for Peterson (and another injury to CUTTY) Minny is back to their winning ways. Ponder still looks like garbage, but baby steps, people. St. Louis is 3-1-1 since their bye and surprising a lot of people by hanging around in the playoff picture. I still don't trust their offense, though, since they haven't demonstrated the ability to stretch the field. Next season, with a healthy Amendola and hopefully an upgrade at the other receiver spot, I could see them being a solid playoff team. Their recent luck is bound to run out at some point, though, and it should come in the form of Peterson. Vikings in the upset.

Tampa Bay at New Orleans (-3.5) - Well, it was fun while it lasted. Tampa was 6-4 going into their home game against Atlanta, but a heartbreaking loss in that game followed two weeks later by an even more heartbreaking loss to Philly has the Bucs wondering what went wrong. Their offense is young and potent, but giving up 381 yards to Nick Foles is inexcusable. Brees should have a field day in the dome, but it's not like the New Orleans defense is going to stop anyone either. Take the over (a whopping 54) and I'll take the Saints to win and cover.

NY Giants at Atlanta (-1.5) - New York is the ultimate Jekyll and Hyde team. They smash teams like Green Bay, San Francisco, and New Orleans, while dropping games to the likes of Cincy, Pittsburgh, and everyone in the NFC East. Atlanta is their opposite, consistently mediocre enough to be in every game, and lucky enough to be 11-2. They fell flat against the Panthers last week, and this is going to be one of those games everyone in Atlanta talks about being "disrespected." I don't care about locker room material, but I do care about JULIO and Roddy, who should torch the Giants secondary. That is, if Matt Ryan can stay upright for long enough. Falcons win and cover. PICK CHANGE: Giants win one for the kids.

Green Bay at Chicago (+3) - Oh, CUTTY, sweet CUTTY. You've been smart enough to feed GMarsh the ball. Just be smart enough to protect yourself. Green Bay found some success running the ball last week, but Chicago should shut that down. Clay Matthews will probably play this week, which spells trouble for the Bears O-line. I'm not expecting a lot of offense in this one, and in close games I always like the home team. Bears in the upset.

4:05pm EST

Seattle at Buffalo (+5.5) - This will be like the STL/BUF game last week -- lots of defense and punts galore. The difference will hopefully be lots of Spiller, as Fred Jackson is down for the count. Seattle did what everyone expected them to do to Arizona last week, but they'll be in a hostile environment and I think Buffalo can bottle up Marshawn Lynch. Under 43 looks tasty, but I'll take the Seahawks to win, Bills with the points.

Carolina at San Diego (-3) - After the Chargers' surprising win in Pittsburgh, I'm wondering if there's a "win it for Norv" mentality. I don't care much, all I need to know is that Carolina isn't that good, and they should fall victim to the old "East Coast team traveling to the West Coat" trap. Chargers win and cover.

Detroit at Arizona (+6) - I'm pretty sure Alabama or Notre Dame could beat the Cardinals at this point. Lions win and cover.

4:25pm EST

Kansas City at Oakland (-3) - I'm sure everyone assumes the emotional roller coaster Kansas City has been on is over, and they will go back to being a doormat. Losing to Cleland by 23 has a way to making people give up on you. But I like them to surprise a clueless Oakland club with the one-two punch of Charles and Quinn. Chiefs in the upset.

Pittsburgh at Dallas (+1.5) - "Romo is so clutch in December you guys! Guys! Guys? Where are you going?" Steelers win and cover.

8:20pm EST

San Francisco at New England (-5.5) -

http://cdn2.sbnation.com/imported_as...ghBackSlap.gif

Patriots win and cover.


MONDAY, DECEMBER 17TH

8:30pm EST

NY Jets at Tennessee (-1.5) - Looking at the numbers, Tennessee's offense hasn't been as putrid as I thought. Hasselbeck and Chris Johnson had a decent run for a while, and Britt, Washington, and Wright could make up a nice little receiving corps someday. Unfortunately, this season is over, and they're doing the right thing by letting Jake Locker learn on the job. As for the Jets, it's time to admit that, all things considered, they are simply mediocre. Their defense is good, and might thrive if Sanchez could orchestrate a decent drive once every three or four games. But once again Rex Ryan is holding back Greg McElroy, so the team is stuck in purgatory. ALL HE DOES IS WIN, REX. Jets in the upset.

[Correction]

http://cdn3.sbnation.com/imported_as...33/LOLALEX.gif

[Moss]

and this is going to be one of those games everyone in Atlanta talks about being "disrespected."

that's every week lol. I hope it doesn't go away

[Tajin]

I came to the states just to watch the game. I shall pay attention. \o/

[Deejay]

lol torch our secondary? matt ryan is called 2 points for a reason

[Lucavi]

The more you root against the skins, the more they win, so keep this up.

[Rhinox]

This better not be a trap game for the Packers. I'll be soooooo fucking pissed

[Headspace]

Defense do just enough?

Offense ranked in mid teens while defense ranked top ten while leading in sacks

[Demosthenes11]

Dear NFL: make sure the giants don't make it to the playoffs. I want to actually win the superb owl this year

[Xajii]

Dear NFL: make sure the giants don't make it to the playoffs. I want to actually win the superb owl this year

Bernard Pollard says NOT SO FAST

its his job to hobble one of your key players on your way to the owl. He's really an NFC mercenary.

[archibaldcrane]

This better not be a trap game for the Packers. I'll be soooooo fucking pissed

I really don't think a game against your greatest rival with the division title on the line in their stadium could possibly be a trap game.

[Byrd]

Boy, if the playoff scenario shown in Bregor's opening post comes true, I put the over/under on the number of times we have to hear about / see a replay of the Golden Taint catch at 1.2 googleplexes.

[archibaldcrane]

It does make me worried that we have lost to a lot of NFC playoff teams this year - 49ers/Seahawks/Giants?

[Byrd]

It does make me worried that we have lost to a lot of NFC playoff teams this year - 49ers/Seahawks/Giants?

One thing the Seahawks have managed to do right is only losing to teams they're not going to end up tied with, thanks in part to the Rams and 49ers for tying and taking that out of the equation, and the Cardinals, Lions and Dolphins for being shitty. Beating the Packers, Bears, Vikings, and Cowboys may prove very useful come playoff time.

[Boyiee]

Dear NFL: make sure the giants don't make it to the playoffs. I want to actually win the superb owl this year

This, please. I would take just getting there, but after being eli'd twice...

[Cleverness]

I think losing to RG3 might be more embarrassing. Or Tony Romo? God I'd just kill myself if I were Bill.

[Demosthenes11]

If the patriots ever lose to the cowboys in the super bowl, I will literally contemplate suicide

fuck

[AidenCarby]

This, please. I would take just getting there, but after being eli'd twice...

Seriously, Giants are fucking possessed in the playoffs.

[Bregor]

lol torch our secondary? matt ryan is called 2 points for a reason

JULIO

The more you root against the skins, the more they win, so keep this up.

I picked them to win the East.

Defense do just enough?

Offense ranked in mid teens while defense ranked top ten while leading in sacks

15th in points allowed, defensive DVOA ranked 20th.

http://www.hulu.com/watch/44524

[Boyiee]

I'm not superstitious at all, in fact because of getting local games only I haven't been able to watch 1-2 recent patriots games live on TV anyway... but I haven't shaved since they last lost a game. Even though most of it was for noshavevember or whatever you call it, and because I was sick for just over 2 weeks and couldn't do ANYTHING, it still worries me that I absolutely have to shave today or tomorrow morning due to work/safety.

This blows, I've never grown facial hair before and it actually looks fantastic on me.