Alien: Covenant (May 19, 2017)

[Weltall]

That prologue was fucking awesome.

[thetruepandagod]

God damnit, danny mcbride is the only thing they could have done to get me to watch another prometheus mess and they did it.

[thetruepandagod]

Why are they sendin a gay couple on a colonization mission doe?

[thetruepandagod]

Supposed leaks btw. Do not read if you do not want to be potentially spoiled obviously.

Spoiler: show

James Franco dies during cryosleep
The other guy (Billy Crudup) he's talking to in the prologue becomes captain
The grill and Tennessee (Danny McBride) survives
99% of the crew die from neomorphs (white ayys) while the new captain gets facehuggered midway through the film
The captain dies via chestburster when they return to the Covenant and spawns a proto-ayylmao
David 1.0 kills all the Engineers by dropping their own goo at them and then later kills Shaw for his diabolical ebil experiments
David 2.0 is a good David but he gets blown away and then replaced by David 1.0 near the end
Tennessee (Danny McBride) will blow up David 1.0's lair, the neomorphs and the proto-ayy
The proto-ayy will kill a few dozen colonists aboard the Covenant and the grill and Tennesse will attempt to trap it via one of Covenant's disposable utility hatches
There's a scene where the proto-ayy murders a bunch of colonists in a throwback to the escape pod scene in Ayylmao: Resurrection
Unironically enough there's also a scene where the proto-ayy chases David 1.0 in a le epik Ayylmao 3 chase sequence where the proto-ayy murders random colonists who are running away.
Tennessee sets up a single remote turret to cover the grill and everyone else's escape but the proto-ayylmao dodges all of the shots. Clearly it was taking potshots at Cameron's Aliens.
In the final scene it shows Tennessee and the grill returning to cryosleep and David 1.0 smuggled ayylmao eggs and looks at an entire legion of cryosleeping colonists and he skips like a motherfucker

[dasva]

Why are they sendin a gay couple on a colonization mission doe?

They can still have alien babies

[Hirronimus]

Are they supposed to be the LV-426 colonists? I mean, is that where they're "going" with or are we still in prequel territory?

[tyven]

Are they supposed to be the LV-426 colonists? I mean, is that where they're "going" with or are we still in prequel territory?

Hope someone comes through and drops some knowledge cuz idk. I'm so lost about how everything fits together lol. Is this the same David from Prometheus or is he a different model?

[chazzyphizzle]

i think there are 2 different bots that fassdonger is playing in this film, if that's a spoiler i apologize

[Salodin]

Obviously it's a different David, otherwise why would they all be excited to go on a quest to fight some face huggers?

[Xno Kappa]

Inb4

2deep4allofU.

Can't wait for the sequel. Hope there's more incoherent and convoluted nonsense behind the character's inexplicable actions. And Space Jesus, more Space Jesus.

[dasva]

Obviously it's a different David, otherwise why would they all be excited to go on a quest to fight some face huggers?

Well David being himself could just not being telling them. But at the end of the last one wasn't he and the one chick that survived the last one hotwiring the engineer ship to kamikaze engineer home world? And wasn't he in pieces? I'm not sure how you can reasonable get from there back to being a regular helper android amongst humans without anyone finding out what happened

[Salodin]

Which is why I said it's a different David, unless they expect me to believe David repaired himself and somehow flew back to civilizrand carried on like nbd.

[tyven]

man i didnt remember david being in pieces. i want it to be the same david. i must know what happened after Prometheus!

[dasva]

Been awhile since I watched it and definitely not rewatched but I think the engineer tore his head off. And the distinction I was making is the Character is certainly the type to carry on like nothing happened and lead more people to their doom I don't see how he can possibly accomplish it. Don't worry though I'm sure they will think of some convoluted way of doing it. All David's are actually 1 mind connected together so effectively can just come back to live over and over... bam space Jesus

[Cichy]

well I'm in!

[mallister]

now see, that doesn't look awful at all.

[thetruepandagod]

Idiots in space again. When Weyland Yutani sends their people, they're not sending their best.

Spoiler: show

Only semi acceptable knowing they are just alien fodder

[Xno Kappa]

How long is the de facto time span for retards to stop dealing with xenomorphs? All I got from that trailer was stupid people doing stupid shit again.

[thetruepandagod]

I just wanna know why protocols for health and safety on foreign worlds has completely vanished and yet somehow makes a return in the first Alien movie. Alien > Man leaves ship, Man puts on suit > Man becomes facehugger bait through no fault of his own as it uses acid to eat through mask. As opposed to Prometheus/covenent > Entire Groups leave ship either without suit or with suit yet remove it inexplicable, engage alien fauna willy nilly. Kudos to Ripley for being literally the only person in the entire alien movie universe to think it is a bad idea to let an unknown alien contagion back on to the ship.

Everything makes more sense when you assume the first Alien movie was the first real alien encounter and thus had an actual competent mining crew, where as prometheus/covenent are scooby doo retard level people because they are sent by weyland as cattle for their bio weapon project/farm.

[chazzyphizzle]

in this movie at least they are probably just on an intergalactic swingers cruise. they just tryna fuck otherworldly ya dig