How I mine for ring?

**Acevalefor** · 2013-08-09 11:10

Originally Posted by Melena

When I bought my wife's engagement ring we went to Shane Co. Treated us great, didn't try to upsell us or anything. Wife's engagement ring set me back about 1500. 3 diamonds, with the center being largest, total of about .78 carat weight if I remember correctly and that 1500 dollar ring looks a hell of a lot better than some rings at mall jewelers at twice the price.

So yea, best advice I can give is shop around, spend what you are comfortable with.

Shane Co. is a licensed importer so they aren't always buying from brokers. They also have non-commissioned sales people...kind of. The commission is based on store volume and not individual sales, so all around, the business model means you get much more for the same price as a mall retailer.

**Byrthnoth** · 2013-08-09 11:29

Originally Posted by Ksandra

Byrth is arguing diamonds are pointless, women who want rings don't think they are pointless because to them it isn't always about getting X value, but it looking nice.

I'm actually arguing that them wanting diamonds at all is a byproduct of a hundred years of marketing by De Beers. The fact that they want them and think they look nice is a direct outcome of this marketing campaign. You either reward the mass manipulation of society by continuing to purchase clear rocks for well more than they're worth on the open market, or you ignore them and spend your money on something else.

I mean, wedding rings in general were more of a bid-matching for the dowery than a sign of eternal love:

Originally Posted by Wikipedia

Historically, the wedding ring was connected to the exchange of valuables at the moment of the wedding rather than a symbol of eternal love and devotion. It is a relic of the times when marriage was a contract between families, not individual lovers. Both families were then eager to ensure the economic safety of the young couple. Sometimes it went as far as being a conditional exchange as this old (and today outdated) German formula shows: 'I give you this ring as a sign of the marriage which has been promised between us, provided your father gives with you a marriage portion of 1000 Reichsthalers'.

I'd say that you should have the engagement ring be fairly plain (but a surprise) and buy a nice looking wedding ring with your fiance for the wedding. If she prefers diamonds over the many prettier stones, then by all means buy diamonds.

...but Alexandrite is so much prettier:

Spoiler: show

Edit: Such a cool stone. Alexandrite forevah.

**Tokitoki** · 2013-08-09 11:29

Originally Posted by Vigilia

If you got the money there's sites like Gemvara that let you customise rings: http://www.gemvara.com/Create-A-Ring...?source=create Even if you don't buy from there you can use it to try out different ideas and colours.

Most jewelers, if not all, will allow you to design a custom setting for just about anything. This is something my dad does constantly. I've had earring settings custom made to fit stones and have watched as they 3-D model a customer's design. It's pretty cool, though I don't think most people will have their own 3-D design program. Before that they made wax molds and plastic castings to show what the setting will be.

Originally Posted by Seraph

Also, and I cannot stress this enough, make sure if you decide to do something like "white gold" to make sure she isn't allergic to things like nickle. I know someone who bought their current wife white gold rings for engagement/wedding, and she is allergic to them. That was an awesome conversation a month after he gave it to her and she started breaking out after the rhodium plating started wearing off.

White gold and Sterling silver are normally safer than most other metals. The rhodium plating should not wear off, especially after only a month.

**Artemicon** · 2013-08-09 12:17

Originally Posted by Byrthnoth

I'm actually arguing that them wanting diamonds at all is a byproduct of a hundred years of marketing by De Beers. The fact that they want them and think they look nice is a direct outcome of this marketing campaign. You either reward the mass manipulation of society by continuing to purchase clear rocks for well more than they're worth on the open market, or you ignore them and spend your money on something else.

I mean, wedding rings in general were more of a bid-matching for the dowery than a sign of eternal love:

I'd say that you should have the engagement ring be fairly plain (but a surprise) and buy a nice looking wedding ring with your fiance for the wedding. If she prefers diamonds over the many prettier stones, then by all means buy diamonds.

...but Alexandrite is so much prettier:

Spoiler: show

Edit: Such a cool stone. Alexandrite forevah.

Completely agree with you, I know I can't swap my mentality into a woman's body but If I were on the receiving end of an engagement ring I would fight for that shit to have some color, regardless of what society thinks... Oh and that deep green color is pretty baller. I used to collect and research minerals when I was a kid and I had a bunch of different colored quartz, topaz, aqua and shit and the colorless stones were always my least favorite so thats probably where that comes from.

**Ksandra** · 2013-08-09 12:20

Originally Posted by Byrthnoth

I'm actually arguing that them wanting diamonds at all is a byproduct of a hundred years of marketing by De Beers. The fact that they want them and think they look nice is a direct outcome of this marketing campaign. You either reward the mass manipulation of society by continuing to purchase clear rocks for well more than they're worth on the open market, or you ignore them and spend your money on something else.

I mean, wedding rings in general were more of a bid-matching for the dowery than a sign of eternal love:

I'd say that you should have the engagement ring be fairly plain (but a surprise) and buy a nice looking wedding ring with your fiance for the wedding. If she prefers diamonds over the many prettier stones, then by all means buy diamonds.

...but Alexandrite is so much prettier:

Spoiler: show

Edit: Such a cool stone. Alexandrite forevah.

And I'm saying, who cares? If the woman likes it, she likes it. She should get what she wants irrelevant to the history of it.

**wipers** · 2013-08-09 12:22

http://yellowtape.blogs.starnewsonli...12/ringpop.jpg

**Enkidu** · 2013-08-09 12:31

I used bluenile.com and it turned out great. Saved like $5k from what I was going to buy at Tiffany's and the bluenile one looks better in person with higher rated diamonds. The only issue is you buy it before seeing it in person, which I could see being a problem for some people.

I just took my wife shopping for rings one day to find out what she likes. If you have a girl that truly does like non-diamond gems and wants that for an engagement ring by all means do that, but definitely don't do it as a surprise. If you want it to be a complete surprise you can't go wrong with a diamond though.

**Seraph** · 2013-08-09 12:40

Originally Posted by Tokitoki

White gold and Sterling silver are normally safer than most other metals. The rhodium plating should not wear off, especially after only a month.

For white gold specifically, it depends on what other metals they cut the gold with since "white gold" can be a number of different metal combinations with gold being a substantial component. Nickle is often used because its cheap, and it gives a nicer 'natural' white coloring so that its not as obvious when the plating wears off. The additional coatings they have put on the ring after the initial incident seem to last a few months each time now (I am assuming the jeweler is doing a better job plating it since they know its due to an allergy issue, and not just an aesthetics thing). All I know is that her hand starts to itch and swell up long before it looks like the coating is coming off. That was one of the reasons I assume he bought the nickle type of white gold, they probably told him it would need to be plated less often, and I am assuming it was cheaper for the band itself too.

Anyways, it can definitely be an issue, and it was the main reason I kept away from it when selecting the ring I used for my engagement. The plating always wears off, it is just a matter of time. The more you play with the ring, or take it off and put it back on, the faster it wears off on the inside of the band where it rubs against your finger.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/White_gold#White_gold

**SephYuyX** · 2013-08-09 12:54

Has anyone mentioned yet that the correct way to shop for a ring is to let her pick the ring?

If you're with a real picky girl, she's going to be stuck with this thing forever, and you may think you know what her tastes are, but you're much better of shopping with her for the ring she really wants. Propose with a place holder, or something inventive, then go shopping with her. Even if she isn't picky.

The ring(s) I used to proposed to my wife with was her grandmas ring along with my grandmas ring, and then we went shopping together to pick out the ring of her choice. We used a stone from each grandmas ring, along with a new diamond.

**Manako** · 2013-08-09 13:01

Surprised noone has posted a picture of theirs yet, unfortunately mine is at home (I typically just wear my wedding band) I think what is most important is that she is happy with the selection, do you know what she wants? Does she want to be part of the selection process? It is very true that the Diamond Solitaire as the go-to ring is a marketing success story, that the type of stone didn't matter previously. There are plenty of brilliant sapphires that come in a variety of colors, including white so if she wants something a bit more fun, there are a lot of options. Diamonds are REALLY shiny though, if they are cut correctly they have a fire that can't be matched in other stones.

We bought our setting and gem separately because I was much more excited about a pretty decorative setting, and the central stone was less important. I wanted something green (my favorite color) or Alexandrite (his birthstone.) Unfortunately the size of the setting was too large and prevented us from getting tsavorite, which is what I really wanted, so I have an emerald instead. I do not reccomend emeralds because unlike other stones they are planar instead of cubic crystal formation so it will not last as long as a garnet or saphhire/ruby and I can't clean it with regular jewelry cleaner. We didn't get alexandrite because he refused to get a lab created crystal, which is the only way you can afforadably get an alexandrite of the size and clairity he wanted.

Smaller diamonds are neglible in price, so picking a smaller central stone with side-stones is an affordable route if she really has her heart set on a diamond. When we were looking for our bands the price of a wedding band studded with diamonds was significantly cheaper than a gold band with some detailing. In the end we had our bands custom-made (we wanted a matched pair with engraving, but one gold and the other white-gold) It was cheaper to go through the custom route than buy at any of the small jewelry chains. I believe the rule-of-thumb budget is 2 months salary, if you're looking for a frame of reference for appropriate cost -- but in the end gotta do what makes you happy.

**wipers** · 2013-08-09 13:02

My advice for anyone playing on getting married.

**Tokitoki** · 2013-08-09 13:11

Originally Posted by Seraph

White Gold

That's interesting. Both my mom and my girlfriend have metal allergies and have not had any problems with jewelry we (myself and my dad) have made for them. I'm not too knowledgeable on the entirety of how it works, so I guess they must be using a higher quality metal rather than nickel? My girlfriend especially likes a pair of bold opal earrings I had made for here and has worn them almost every day for the past year without problems. They get less wear than a ring since they are not on a hand so that may have a bit to do with it.

**shepardG** · 2013-08-09 13:14

Lol, so I come home from work on Wednesday and I'm feeding the dog and opening the mail and I see my wife's wedding ring in the counter, only the 4k dollar fucking diamond is missing. Initially I'm like "GOD FUCKING DAMNIT" but I know I have to play it cool or risk being an asshole. So I text her:
"Just got home and saw the ring....

"

Couple of minutes goes by...

Me again: " do you have any clue where it might have came out?"

And then I got a que pop in league of legends.... So like 30 mins goes by and I get a text:

"Calm down, that's your ex-wife's ring that I was gonna try and sell at a store"

I responded with : you fucking troll... ROFL

**Artemicon** · 2013-08-09 13:26

She hates solitaire cuts and most newer looking things, shes expressed she like vintage looking rings and filigree but atm she made a comment a few months ago that shes not as picky as she used to be because now she just wants to get married. Dragging my feet as long as I have has probably saved me money... maybe. I wish these 'simulants' were more available (moissanite mainly). I watched some comparison videos of diamond coated CZ and Moissanite and they look pretty much the fucking same and as long as you're not a jeweler with magnification you can't tell the difference.

Oh well I never intended to cheap out on this but It doesn't hurt to consider all options.

**Melena** · 2013-08-09 13:28

Probably not the greatest shot, but this is a picture of the engagement ring and wedding band I got my wife.

**Ksandra** · 2013-08-09 13:44

Originally Posted by manako

Surprised noone has posted a picture of theirs yet,

Here's mine!

I am super happy with the way the pairing came out. It ended up being exactly what I wanted. :D

**Hellfury** · 2013-08-09 13:48

Supposedly rule of thumb where I live (Norway) is 2(ideally 3) months pay being the range for ring(s).
(which is batshit crazy, it'd make the avg. Norwegian ring cost like $19800, must be after taxes so more like $13-15k)

**Artemicon** · 2013-08-09 14:01

My girlfriend would have to suck my brain through my dick to make me stupid enough to spend 8~12k for a ring.

**Day** · 2013-08-09 14:04

Originally Posted by Rhyis.

Not all women are into the bling. Pimped out honeymoon is becoming a bigger thing nowadays. People don't trust diamonds anymore.

True. My lady specifically didn't want a diamond. We went with our birthstones, and she loves it. Far from embarrassed when people ask about it, she loves showing it off. It's still a very nice ring.

**Takedown3** · 2013-08-09 14:10

lol@ ppl don't trust diamonds anymore... as long as you aint buying cheap ass shitty white diamonds and buy something with colour you are laughing all the way to the bank in 5-10-15-20 years... a nice red or blue for 40-100k today is worth 10x that in 5 years

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