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  1. #1
    THIS IS BREGOR'S STORY
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    2013-14 NFL Conference Championships: People who doubt Bregor are often correct.

    The future of the sports forum is threads like these, which I find to be very entertaining:

    People who doubt Brady are retarded.

    People who doubt Peyton are retahded.


    Last week
    M/L: 3-1
    ATS: 1-2-1

    Overall
    M/L: 168-95-1
    ATS: 132-122-10

    The only winner for me was SD+9.5 and I would just like to say that I still love Philip Rivers. A mere raise of his eyebrow or a sneer of his lip and the football world is sent into a frenzy. Unfortunately, Phil was not the best gif from last weekend:

    http://farm3.staticflickr.com/2838/1...faced46c_o.gif

    Dat leap. DAT FLOP.

    Also! I will be in the Caribbean all weekend relaxing with my wife, drinking pina coladas, and playing copious amounts of blackjack. So behave yourselves. Emperor Weave is not as forgiving as I am.


    SUNDAY, JANUARY 19TH

    3:00pm EST, CBS

    New England at Denver (-5)

    6:30pm EST, FOX

    San Francisco at Seattle (-3.5)

    Well, here we are. I don't think too many people are surprised by the match-ups we're looking at, as both the stats and the scouts will tell you that these are four of the best five or six teams in the NFL. Football Outsiders has them at SEA 1, NE 2, DEN 3, and SF 5 (PHI 4, CAR 6, and I stand by my CAR pick last week, those goal line stuffs really threw them off their game). So let's get to it.

    As Cail pointed out in the hilarious Brady thread, I never counted out touchdown tom. But what happens when the Pats win by running the ball 46 times for 234 yards and six TDs? Do we get to call touchdown tom a "game manager" now? Will that NinjaLotter guy go apeshit on me? Obviously touchdown tom can still throw his patented touchdowns, but no Gronk and inexperienced deep threats certainly hurts the passing game. Luckily the Pats defense stepped up and completely neutralized Andrew Luck at the end of the game last week, which is impressive because he is definitely the next Peyton Manning and the future face of the NFL and all that. (And not just because he's white, no sir.) Dont'a Hightower, Chandler Jones, and Jamie Collins make up a young, talented core of front seven players, while cagey vets like Aqib Talib and Rob Ninkovich are playing great football. You've gotta think if San Diego's pedestrian defense was able to slow down the Broncos offense, New England should do just fine. As for the actual Peyton Manning, not to be confused with Andrew Luck who is the next Peyton Manning, he'll enjoy the good fortune of clear skies and temperatures approaching 60°F. Against the Chargers, he attacked them underneath, averaging only 6.4 yards per pass attempt and 9.2 yards per catch. With Welker, Decker, and the Thomases all able to stretch the field (and Talib only able to cover one of them) I think they'll increase that average in a big way. When the Pats beat Denver in overtime eight weeks ago, Orange Julius didn't play, Decker only had four targets, and Gronk had 7 catches for 90 yards and a touchdown. None of those things will repeat. Also, forget historical playoff data, and especially forget quarterback win-loss records. Peyton Manning is the fucking man. I won't say "small sample size" because he's started 21 playoff games now, but he's put up good numbers individually. It's not his fault the Colts defense couldn't stop Belichick or PRIVS back in the day. Denver wins, New England with the points, 28-24 final.

    And now we get to Swaggy P against Grumpy Jim. Just to review:

    Spoiler: show












    versus



    They're like yin and yang. Acids and bases. Cosmos and Chaos. And the Greater Harbaugh is all of the bad things. But the 49ers take an eight-game win streak into Sunday, including a 19-17 win against Seattle. In that game, Russell Wilson was held to fewer carries than sacks taken, and Marshawn Lynch averaged 3.6 per carry. In other words, San Fran's front seven is scary. To make matters worse for Swaggy P, he'll have to contain Colin Kaepernick, who's had back-to-back solid playoff games, first scrambling all over Green Bay and then picking up key first downs and keeping the offense in good down-and-distances in Carolina. Plus, as was the case with Peyton Manning and all his weapons, having Boldin, Crabtree, and CLICK-CLACK is huge for Kaep's ability to distribute the ball. And that could be a problem for Seattle, who looked somewhat un-Seattle-like last week, allowing over 400 yards of offense to New Orleans. It will be up to their dynamic safeties Earl Thomas and Kam Chancellor to read and react to Kaep's options downfield and also help stop Gore and any broken-play scrambles. The good news is Lynch looks as good as ever, bruising his way to 140 yards and two scores last week. The bad news is Percy Harvin is still made of glass, and the passing game looked rough. I mean real rough. Like you're Katherine Heigl and you went from one of the most popular shows on TV to doing an ad for fucking ZzzQuil rough. And as much as I love Swaggy P, the fact that your whole offense is a feature back and you're facing San Fran's defense doesn't portend good things. And unless the 12th man happens to be an actual person who plays wideout, I'm taking the 49ers in the upset, 20-14.

  2. #2
    Mr. Bananagrabber
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    Tagging for tappys, and just hoping my homerism of hoping for a NE/SF Super Bowl happens. Coworkers were discussing how insufferable I'd be for the next year if the Niners smoked Touchdown Tom in NJ, and I don't want to let them down.

  3. #3
    Fuck It, I'm Goin Deep Fan Club President
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    Quote Originally Posted by Krandor View Post
    Tagging for tappys, and just hoping my homerism of hoping for a NE/SF Super Bowl happens. Coworkers were discussing how insufferable I'd be for the next year if the Niners smoked Touchdown Tom in NJ, and I don't want to let them down.
    Hopefully its the opposite of that matchup

  4. #4
    Death by snoo snoo
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    can't flim flam the zim zam

  5. #5
    Brown Recluse
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    I agree with the picks, and it will be hilarious to watch SF lose again in the SB, and Peyton win another.

  6. #6
    Fuck It, I'm Goin Deep Fan Club President
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    It hasnt been posted in weeks, so its time

    Spoiler: show

  7. #7
    I would prefer not to.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bregor View Post
    Also! I will be in the Caribbean all weekend relaxing with my wife, drinking pina coladas, and playing copious amounts of blackjack. So behave yourselves. Emperor Weave is not as forgiving as I am.
    I hope Brill's wife pushes him down the stairs.

  8. #8
    THIS IS BREGOR'S STORY
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cail View Post
    It hasnt been posted in weeks, so its time

    Spoiler: show
    The play at the end is all DEMARYIUS

  9. #9
    I would prefer not to.
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    today i learned that walmart sells pleated pants for 8 bucks and i will probably go buy some because im poor and then i will be an nfl head coach

  10. #10
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    Will your wife criticize your fashion sense to millions?

    And the future of the NFL demands to be seen by all. Look at it!
    http://d3j5vwomefv46c.cloudfront.net...gif?1389497282

  11. #11
    Black Guy from Predator.
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    Brill's a bitch, and his lack of a griddle is proof. I'm picking San Fran and Denver as well, and fuck everyone that disagrees. Shut up, Fatsandra, nobody cares.

  12. #12
    TOO MUCH MAN
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    completely neutralized Andrew Luck at the end of the game last week, which is impressive because he is definitely the next Peyton Manning and the future face of the NFL and all that. (And not just because he's white, no sir.)
    Is it because he's really white?

  13. #13
    Mr. Bananagrabber
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bregor View Post
    The play at the end is all DEMARYIUS
    Only because God/Tebow wills it.

  14. #14
    If I screw up again Im gone forever.
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    I don't care how much I'm valisking, if swagger pete doesn't get you to root for the seahawks this will

  15. #15
    C A P S UNLEASH THE FURY
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    I'm gonna take SF and Denver as well

    NE @ DEN:
    - No way Blount / the RBs in general repeat a game like that with the tape so out there.
    - Fox is a more seasoned coach than Pagano. He will make Brady pass it to guys that can't catch.
    - Peyton will have learned from his 2nd half struggles against the NE defense

    SF @ SEA:
    - Anquan So Strong
    - Russell Wilson sucks
    - Lynch ain't gonna be able to have a field day

  16. #16

    You kidding me? Russell Wilson is awesome! I am in Seattle, and I just have to say GO HAWKS kick 9ers ass and send Kaepernick home whining where he belongs!!! My husband is from SF, going to be an interesting weekend. Someone might have to sleep on the couch haha.

    Quote Originally Posted by Xajii View Post
    I'm gonna take SF and Denver as well

    NE @ DEN:
    - No way Blount / the RBs in general repeat a game like that with the tape so out there.
    - Fox is a more seasoned coach than Pagano. He will make Brady pass it to guys that can't catch.
    - Peyton will have learned from his 2nd half struggles against the NE defense

    SF @ SEA:
    - Anquan So Strong
    - Russell Wilson sucks
    - Lynch ain't gonna be able to have a field day

  17. #17

    Side note: 9ers DO NOT play well in Seattle.
    We have the 12th man.
    chew on that!

  18. #18
    C A P S UNLEASH THE FURY
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    ho boy

  19. #19
    Mr. Bananagrabber
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    It's nice that the woodwork Hawks fans usually stagger their arrivals, instead of pouring in all at once.

  20. #20
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    Quote Originally Posted by Krandor View Post
    It's nice that the woodwork Hawks fans usually stagger their arrivals, instead of pouring in all at once.
    I can't say that I know much about the Hawks (other than the fact that their fans are as retarded as most football fans), but I've always felt like they were a team that anyone who's a fan of an AFC team could root for. Perhaps it was because they never seemed threatening.

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