Originally Posted by
Mertron
so anyway, I’m out at a bar today, and my friend says “i have a story to tell you guys, but you can’t repeat this to anyone” and immediately I’m like, ok, can’t repeat this to anyone…we know, so here’s to you guys, figments of my imagination on the internet, but that’s not the point of this story
so we know this guy who we all assumed was…off for some reason, always really weird for some reason, but we could never put our finger on it, but that’s not the point of this story
anyway, he tells my buddy that last week he had a party at his house, but that’s not the point of this story
so he tells my buddy that this party was apparently a gay swinger party, and he basically came out as gay in telling this story, but that’s not the point of this story
so at this gay party, and at this point I interrupt my friend and say “if gay people have a party, do they call it a gay party? or do they just call it a party?” and I was told this is not the point of this story
so anyway, at this gay party, I guess they’re doing gay things, and one of the gay things they were doing at this gay party was…injecting something called liquid viagra, and believe it or not, we have not arrived at the point of this story
so me and my other friend naturally ask “ok…what is liquid viagra” and we are told it’s some kind of viagra that is liquid (hence the name, not the point of this story), and you take it and inject it directly into your dick, not the balls, not the taint, directly into captain winky (milkster:confirm/deny?), but this is still not the point of the story
so the guy we know is like “alright, let’s do this” and takes a jab right into one-eyed Willy, and…we didn’t hear any details about what happened that night, but whatever happened that night is, again, not the point of the story
but anyway, when we next meet our protagonist, and this is where we begin to go “wait what?”, we hear that apparently he had the issue of the old “erect penis for over four hours”
but that’s not the point
the point is our friend apparently, APPARENTLY, apparently? didn’t think this was a big deal, and we have still not arrived at the point of the story!
we have no idea what he was thinking, apparently, APPARENTLY, he was so fucked up for…LITERALLY A COUPLE DAYS, and didn’t either realize something was wrong, or was too fucked up on other drugs to care, so he just kept on walking around with his flag at full mast for FOUR DAYS before he thought “welp, something might be wrong”, and we are getting close to the point of this story, but no, hold on, almost there
so a different friend of mine, who is an ER doctor, has told humorous stories about how he occasionally gets someone in the ER with the “erection hasn’t gone down in 4 hours” problem, and apparently the solution is to…like…punch holes in the dick to drain some of the blood out? but we have still not arrived at the point to this story
because we loop back to this other guy i loosely know (he’s more a friend of a friend, that no one likes, but that’s not the point of this story)
SO ANYWAY, after FOUR DAYS of this problem and not reporting it, APPARENTLY his dick turned black, and he was like, welp, it’s time to go to the hospital, and we are getting close to the point of the story
so he goes to the hospital and they start to do ye olde dick draining, but apparently, APPARENTLY, everything they do doesn’t work! his dick has become some kind of blood black hole, where anything that ever came close to his dick that resembled blood just became trapped there for all eternity, wilting away faster than matthew mcconaughey in that library, and APPARENTLY, only one thing could be done, and that is where we come to the point of my story
friends, this guy had his dick amputated. gone. they are reworking his netherbits as we speak to make sure he can at least piss again, and he is going to be fitted for a prosthetic dick in the near future, and as of now, we have come to the end of the story