2014-15 NFL Week 1: hott jerry jones pics itt

[Bregor]

Oh god that Jerry Jones pic

get guy to polish glasses during the game, get ladies to polish his knob after the game

These were the only two posts referencing the best under-the-radar NFL story this summer. Here's Jerruh in all his glory:







http://terezowens.com/jerry-jones-sc...-pics-surface/

would x2 (x3 counting Jerry himself)

This is how true pimps do it, not messing around with fasian, plastic-faced women with a letter for a first name who record your racist bullshit, forcing you to sell your team, and then claim you're into dudes. Well done, Jerruh.

Of course, you might have missed it because a. Rhinox never posts links and b. ESPN, Fox, and pretty much everyone else chose not to run anything about it. I mean, it would seriously cut into their Johan Futbol coverage and we simply can't have that.

Also I wrote most of this before the Fappening happened yesterday (but it's still strangely appropriate) so a big shout out to Headspace for the initial link.


Predictions!

AFC East: New England
AFC North: Pittsburgh
AFC South: Indianapolis
AFC West: Denver
Wild Cards: San Diego, Cincinnati

NFC East: Philadelphia
NFC North: Green Bay
NFC South: New Orleans
NFC West: Seattle
Wild Cards: Chicago, Arizona

AFC Championship: Denver over New England
NFC Championship: New Orleans over Seattle
Super Bowl Champ: Denver Broncos

Coach: Pete Carroll, Seattle
Comeback POY: Motherfucking JULIO JONES, Atlanta
Offensive POY: Matt Forte, Chicago
Defensive POY: Von Miller, Denver
Offensive ROY: Kelvin Benjamin, Carolina
Defensive ROY: Ha Ha Clinton-Dix, Green Bay
NFL MVP: Drew Brees, New Orleans

Coaches Fired: Joe Philbin, Dennis Allen, Jason Garrett

HOT READS:
1. Neither Harbaugh makes the playoffs.
2. Four rookie QBs (Bortles, Manziel, Bridgewater, Carr) will be starting by week 7.
3. Washington goes full I Am Sam and benches or trades Bob Triple.
4. Greater Manning and the Broncos lose week 3 in Seattle, then after their week 4 bye he goes all Tyrannical Touchdown Tosser and hits 50+ TDs again, and Denver wins 16 straight games for an 18-1 record and Super Bowl ring. And TTT rides off into the sunset.
5. The Eagles win their division with an 8-8 record.
6. I will go on vacation for a week and a bunch of you dullards will get yourselves banned again.

[Bregor]

Breggy "The Greek" Degenerate Gambling History

2013-14
M/L: 169-97-1
ATS: 132-125-10

2012-13
M/L: 172-94-1
ATS: 134-124-9

2011-12
M/L: 172-96
ATS: 138-123-7


THURSDAY, SEPTEMBER 4TH

8:30pm EDT, NBC

Green Bay at Seattle (-5.5) - God hates the Packers. Last year they opened in San Fran, and now they face the 12th man in Seattle. Oh yeah, and He took ARodg away for half the season. Mike McCarthy was undeterred, however, and won the division anyway. When Rodgers lead the team in passing, Green Bay was 6-2, and there's no reason to think that success won't continue while he's under center. The Pack also added some athleticism through the draft with Ha Ha Dix patrolling the secondary and receivers Davante Adams and small school stud Jeff Janis turning heads in camp. Look for all three to get some playing time after adjusting to the speed and talent of the NFL game. Another rookie making an impact is tight end Richard Rodgers (no relation) who appears to be the starter over Andrew Quarless and the injured Brandon Bostick. With all these weapons at his disposal, Eddie Lacy tearing it up on the ground, and a healthy Bryan Bulaga, it's pretty easy to envision Green Bay as a top three offense. Unfortunately, they run into a defensive unit in Seattle that led the league in pretty much everything. They lost some guys (most notably Brandon Browner and what was left of Chris Clemons) but if anyone can mold a secondary and a defense, it's Pete Carroll. What strikes me about the team is the incredible depth, and even if you think Marshawn Lynch and Richard Sherman are getting a little long in the tooth, there's three guys ready to step up and produce. Russell Wilson is probably the most invaluable player, if not the best one, because behind him sits Tarvaris Jackson and Terrelle Pryor. (I actually think Wilson is overrated and Jackson could do his job, but I am probably wrong.) This will be an entertaining game for the opener, and I hope Sherman and ARodg jaw at each other a couple times. But as always, the main attraction is Swaggy Pete:



Seahawks win, Packers with the points.


SUNDAY, SEPTEMBER 7TH

1:00pm EDT, CBS

Cleveland at Pittsburgh (-6.5) - Cleland hasn't won in Pittsburgh since 2003 (starting QBs were Tim Couch and Tommy Maddox) and hasn't won an opener since 2004 (against Baltimore, starting QBs were Jeff Garcia (!) and Kyle Boller (!!!)) so this is looking like a pretty good Eliminator pick. Minus Josh Gordon, there are zero expectations of success for the Browns offense. People are still picking Jordan Cameron as a top tight end in fantasy, but he should see plenty of attention from opposing defenses. Cameron only had two TDs in his last 11 games and had very inconsistent yardage numbers game-to-game. Then again, JASON CANDLE. If Brian Hoyer can get back to where was was to begin last season, they may just average double-digit points. If not, WELP. To make matters worse, they lost two of their best defensive players in safety TJ Ward (Denver) and MLB D'Qwell Jackson (Indy) and replaced them with older, inferior versions in Donte Whitner and Karlos Dansby. It will be a long, miserable year in Cleland, and that's not even considering Johan Futbol's upcoming DUI. Pittsburgh pretty much defined "league average" in every way last year, and I ruminated about the need for a complete rebuild. But I think they're trending up. Ben Roethlisberger has a sign in his locker that says "1240 days without a sexual assault", Le'Veon Bell will dodge his own issues for a while and looks like an every-down back once again, and Antonio Brown is one of the most underrated #1 receivers in the game. It won't take much to squeak ahead of the pack in the AFC North, and I think the Steelers surprise some people this year. They finished last year 6-2, and have a pretty favorable schedule to play with. Rookie Ryan Shazier looks like the next great Pittsburgh linebacker, and shoring up the defense will go a long way to making things easier for Big Ben and company. Steelers win and cover.

Jacksonville at Philadelphia (-10) - People fading the Jags last year were stunned when they pulled off three road wins in four weeks (TEN, HOU, CLE) and turned that into a legitimate win streak with their only home win of the year (HOU again). Other than that excitement, the good news was Henne and MJD stayed healthy, and the bad news was Henne and MJD stayed healthy. I do like that they're starting Henne again, just to keep Bortles on the bench and off the operating table. And all you Mike Alstott fans out there will finally get another true white stallion in feature back Toby Gerhart. There's also some thing to like on defense, with two former Seahawks at defensive end in Red Bryant and Chris clemons and a not-terrible secondary. It's clear Gus Bradley is trying to build a Seattle Lite in Jacksonville. I wouldn't bet against him getting there in a weak division in the next year or two. But for now, they're really outmatched against Chip Kelly's Eagles. Sure, losing DeSean Jackson hurts on the field, but scatback Darren Sproles and rookie receiver Jordan Matthews should be able to replace some of his production. Jeremy Maclin is healthy, for now, but... lol maclaids. Philly is the ultimate fantasy football team, with offensive talent at all the skill positions and a defense that's... um... just sorta there? They did bring in Malcolm Jenkins, but the team will live and die with Foles and McCoy racking up yards and points. Seems good enough for me. Eagles win and cover.

Oakland at NY Jets (-5) -

FO's super bowl chances

http://insider.espn.go.com/nfl/story...l-32-teams-nfl

32. Oakland Raiders: 0.01

The Raiders haven't had a winning record in 11 years, and were outscored by 131 points last year. Then again, the 1999 Rams had not had a winning record in 10 years and were outscored by 97 points year before. Anything is possible in the NFL: Five times in our one million simulations, the Raiders win the Super Bowl after winning the AFC West despite a 7-9 record.

lmao

Looking at the Raiders "IMPORTANT ADDITIONS" is like a who's who of players that were good four years ago. I actually liked some of what I saw from Terrelle Pryor and Matt McGloin last season, so of course one was traded for a shit pick and the other is currently third on the depth chart. What exactly was it about Matt Schaub that made Oakland think, "Yeah, this is going to work"? WELL I GUESS NOTHING SINCE DEREK CARR IS STARTING, LOL. Ah well, the ghost of Al Davis continues to haunt this franchise. When I think about Rex Ryan, I don't think about the word "quiet", but the Jets have been quietly building up a pretty good team. The defense features studs Muhammad Wilkerson and Sheldon Richardson up front, and the addition of Eric Decker is going to help a lot more than people think. He's a big, physically gifted receiver that is a far cry from your average Welker or Edelman. None of that might make a difference in the standings, though, since I'm not a huge believer in Geno Smith or newly acquired Chris Johnson. Still, there's enough to like here that New York could be a sneaky wild card pick. Jets win and cover.

Cincinnati at Baltimore (-1.5) - Cincy was one of the best teams in the league last season, tied for second in the AFC in point differential at +125, and that was missing GENO for a chunk of the season. It might be harder to repeat that performance, since they lost both coordinators to head coaching gigs, but both Hue Jackson and Paul Guenther are qualified enough to get the job done. If Jackson can find a way to get GIODUDE and Tyler Eifert more touches, there shouldn't be any problems scoring points. The bad news is they just hooked Andy Dalton up with a nice big contract, which will become a problem once AJ McCarron takes his job. The Ravens had a lot of problems on offense last year, but with Dennis Pitta healthy and Steve Smith Senior brought in to help the passing game, things should be a little easier for Joey Flax. Baltimore is building up quite the stable of linebackers with CJ Mosley joining the team, and the hope is he can inspire fellow Crimson Tide alum Courtney Upshaw to not suck so much. The biggest question mark is the run game, as professional weave-dragger Ray Rice will miss two games and Bernard Pierce just suffered a concussion. Baltimore needs the offensive line and the tailbacks to perform a lot better and take the ball out of Flacco's hands more often. Should be a dogfight, but I like the Bengals in the upset.

Tennessee at Kansas City (-3.5) - I'm glad Ken Whisenhunt is giving Jake "The Hurt" Locker another shot in Tennessee. Dumping Chris Johnson, drafting Bishop Sankey, adding Michael Oher and Dexter McCluster, and with a good receiving corps already in place, Locker will at least have a chance to succeed in the new system. The defense has a ton of talent as well, and Ray Horton reuniting with Whisenhunt means that it has a chance to be a special unit. Jurrell Casey is hardly a household name, but he's one of the best tackles in football and should excel once again. Andy Reid is a wonderful coach and immediately changed the conversation in Kansas City. Unfortunately that conversation centered around barbecue and collapsing in the playoffs, but whatever. KC's biggest deficiency is at wide receiver, so of course they did nothing to address that in the off-season. With a little less luck and a more difficult schedule, the Chiefs are probably going to come crashing back to earth a bit. Or maybe that's just Andy Reid's gravitational pull. He's fat, is what I'm saying. Chiefs win and cover.

New England at Miami (+4.5) - Tom Brady is 37 years old and now I feel like a fucking grandpa. Stop playing that bee-bop music yous kids! Anyway did Brady have an off year because he's getting up there or because all of his receivers fell apart? If Amendola, Gronk, and the rest can stay healthy, I guess we'll find out. But I love what they do with Ridley and Vereen, both are being undervalued in fantasy drafts in my opinion. And it should be fucking illegal to go out and get Darrelle Revis and Brandon Browner in the same off-season (although Browner will miss the first four games, WEED IS BAD) but it makes sense if they want to beat Denver in the playoffs. The most shocking thing I ran into looking at some stats from last season was that Miami went 8-8. How did that happen? They were even 8-6 with a shot at the postseason and lost back-to-back games to the Bills and Jets, scoring one touchdown in the process. JUST WAIT. In all seriousness, Bill Lazor's offense in the hands of Ryan Tannehill could be very interesting, and Mike Wallace, Brian Hartline, Charles Clay, and rookie Jarvis Landry could all be sneaky productive. That is, if the offensive line isn't a complete sieve. Branden Albert and rookie Ja'Wuan James should be solid tackles, but "should be" and "Miami" usually spells disappointment in recent history. At least the defense is solid, with noted asshole Cortland Finnegan joining Brent "GRIMEY" Grimes at corner. If New England falters, Miami has a good shot at catching them napping. But I wouldn't hold my breath. Patriots win, Dolphins with the points.

1:00pm EDT, FOX

New Orleans at Atlanta (+3) - At this time last year, I really wanted to believe the Saints were broken. God-awful defense, shrouded in controversy, with only Sean Payton to save them, I was really hoping he'd crash and burn. And, well, he saved them. Fucking shitfuck. Plus they've added Jairus Byrd to the secondary, and rookie wideout Brandin Cooks is getting rave reviews, so it looks like they could be even more potent this season. But after watching Hard Knocks, it is my opinion that Atlanta is back baby! JULIO and company are gonna get it rolling again, well, at least at the business of above-averageness. Actually the team seeems a lot more likable than I thought, except for Kroy Biermann who voluntarily spends his life with that hag from that reality show. BAD END, man. Anyway after Steven Jackson retires I want to go work for him because he's awesome. It'll take a lot to erase the memory of



But I think they can climb back to .500 or better. And it starts now. Falcons in the upset.

Minnesota at St. Louis (-4) - Mike Zimmer takes over a Vikings team in need of a jolt, and based on my fantasy drafts, most people think it will come in the form of Cordarrelle Patterson. He, Adrian "AP" Deterson, and Teddy Bridgewater could make quite the terrifying triplets given the right system, and Norval "Norval" Turner just might make it happen. Or he could if they weren't starting Matt Fucking Cassel instead. Bridgewater seems like the best candidate to start right away, but I'm pretty much against any rookie QBs starting, so I guess it's cool. I can wait a few games for elite black triplets. Pretty much all last year, I was hyping the Rams as a breakout team for this season. They have two of the best pass rushers in football, great young talent at linebacker and in the secondary, and Zac Stacy is an old-school bell cow back. They just needed Sam Bradford and Jake Long to stay healthy and get in sync with the receivers. WELP. Shaun Hill takes over under center, although I think Jeff Fisher thought about calling Kurt Warner in the middle of the night. His flat top can't help you now, Jeff. That division is brutal, and even though this season is probably a wash, I'm not giving up on St. Louis. 2016 Super Bowl: RAMS BROWNS. BOOK IT. Rams win, Vikings with the points.

Buffalo at Chicago (-6.5) - Buffalo is basically becoming Millen-era Detroit. Sammy Watkins, Mike Williams, and Robert Woods is quite the collection of receivers, but it would help to have a quarterback who can get them the ball or an offensive line that can give him time. Second-year offensive coordinator Nathaniel Hackett needs to do a better job creating opportunities for his playmakers, especially CJ Spiller. That Fred Jackson out-touched Spiller last season is borderline criminal. To make matters worse, last year's rookie sensation Kiko Alonso is out for the season, so they brought in Brandon Spikes to keep his seat warm. The defense should keep it together, but without a big step forward from EJ Manuel, it will be in vain. What can I say about Jay Cutler that hasn't already been said about the cheesy gordita crunch? It's clearly the best thing ever, thick in all the right places, and filled with goodness and cheese. But at its heart it's a tease, and you always feel empty and soulless after the experience. That 54-11 thrashing at the hands of the Eagles really stung the nostrils, but it's hard to blame Cutty for that (unless you're Adajer). The defense needed help in a big way, and they went out and got Jared Allen, Lamarr Houston, Ryan Mundy, and drafted rookies Kyle Fuller and Ego Ferguson. If Peanut Tillman is healthy and productive again, Chicago will be a team to be reckoned with. And boy howdy, do I love cheesy gordita crunches. Bears win and cover.

Washington at Houston (-2.5) - The Washington Professional Football Club loves dumb controversies. Resident wingbag Joe Theismann went on record saying the team should bench Bobert the Third in favor of Kirk Cousins (and has since walked that statement back) and some fans are dumb enough to agree with him. (Washington fans, not Sparty fans. I still love you Arvin.) DC has some talent at all the offensive skill positions, and if everyone can stay healthy they may challenge Philly for the best offense in the division. Defensively they added safety Ryan Clark, tackle Jason Hatcher, and drafted linebacker Trent Murphy, and if the Orakpo/Kerrigan tandem stays healthy, they should continue to get to the quarterback. But their offensive tackles will be tested right off the bat by JJ Watt and the Predator Jadeveon Clowney, the scariest pass rushers outside of St. Louis. That defense should be electric, that is, if the offense wasn't so terrible they'd end up playing 45 minutes a game. I have zero faith in Houston to move the ball. Foster and Andre have a lot of miles on their tires, and FitzMAGIC! isn't exactly a guy who can do it on his own. They could be like the AFC version of the Falcons, where one off year doesn't spell gloom and doom. Or they could have the top pick in next year's draft. I'd bet on the latter. Washington Professional Football Club in the upset.

4:25pm EDT, FOX

Carolina at Tampa Bay (-1) - DeAngelo Williams and Jonathan Stewart haven't been healthy and productive since forever, and somehow Steve Smith is the veteran the Panthers can't keep around. According to Ourlads, they're starting Jerricho Cotchery alongside rookie Kelvin Benjamin, with Jason Avant waiting in the wings. Yeah, that'll work. But they did keep secret weapon Joe Webb on the roster! Greg Hardy, Luke Kuechly, and company will have the defense cranked up again, but snatching a playoff spot will be tough without more weapons on offense. The Bucs are no longer SCHIANO MEN but Lovie Smith has the tools to turn it around quickly. Vincent Jackson, Doug Martin, and rookie Mike Evans should give Chicago cast-off Josh McCown plenty to work with in the Pirate Ship. Adding corners Alterraun Verner and Mike Jenkins to a secondary that already features Mark Barron helps ease the loss of Darrelle Revis, and the front four should be a deep and productive unit. Buccaneers win and cover.

San Francisco at Dallas (+4.5) - Every year it seems like one shoe-in playoff team collapses, and this year I'm thinking it could be San Fran. They're getting old (and suspended) on defense, and Gore, Boldin, and CLICK-CLACK are no spring chickens either. If Colin Kaepernick can make Jaws look like a genius and rise to the upper echelon of QBs, then they won't have any problems. If not, then a lot of their games could come down to slugfests and field goals, and they'd need some good luck and good health to survive in the shadow of Seattle. Then again I predicted New Orleans would be under .500 last year, so don't crucify me here, '9ers fans. But facing what Dallas calls a defense, they should have plenty enough to win here. Brandon Carr and Morris Claiborne are decent corners, but that front seven... oh my. Henry Melton will need 30 sacks for this unit to succeed. The good news is they should be trailing often enough for Romo and Dez to throw it all over the field. Sleeper pick is tight end Gavin Escobar, who should be on the field with Witten in some two-TE sets. But of course he's battling a shoulder injury, so we might have to wait on that. Oh well, at least we know Jerruh will be relaxed and in a good mood after the game. 49ers win and cover.

8:30pm EDT, NBC

Indianapolis at Denver (-7.5) - If Pittsburgh defined "average" last season, then Indy defined "average and lucky." They had some big-time quality wins (v.SEA, @SF, v.DEN) and of course their massive comeback in the playoffs against the Chiefs. But the side effect of those close wins is your quarterback is hailed for his "leadership" and "moxie" instead of, you know, "throwing for a lot of yards and touchdowns." Obviously I think he'll have more help from the ground game this season, but Andrew Luck just doesn't wow me the way the other top QBs do. Maybe it's a side effect of fantasy, maybe I just hate his terrible neckbeard. Whatever the case, they're basicallly guaranteed a playoff spot thanks to the worst division in football. That's not to say they couldn't surprise me, and if Hakeem Nicks and TRENT are healthy and productive, their 10+ wins won't seem like a fluke. Adding Arthur Jones and D'Qwell Jackson to the front seven should help them redefine the defense while Robert Mathis serves his four-game suspension. That's a lot of words about a team that's about to get curbstomped, and there's no reason to think the Tyrannical Touchdown Tosser won't return from a terrible Super Bowl and inflict pain on every team he faces this season. I love giving Montee Ball feature back status. I love bringing in TJ Ward and DeMarcus Ware and Aqib Talib. I love Von Miller hopefully staying on the field. And of course I love DEMARYIUS. This is free money, people. Denver wins and covers.


MONDAY, SEPTEMBER 8TH

7:10pm EDT, ESPN

NY Giants at Detroit (-5) - It seems like the Tom Coughlin era is defined by hanging around, winning between seven and ten games, sometimes sneaking into the playoffs, and then sometimes winning a Super Bowl. Will this be one of those magical years? Nope! Eli Manning and West Coast offense seems like a recipe for disaster, and it's not like new tailback Rashad Jennings was racking up tons of yards in his previous stops. Bringing in Dominique Rodgers-Cromartie should make them stingier on defense, but unless Jason Pierre-Paul can regain his old form, there's not a lot to like in the front seven. Detroit finally realized what the rest of the football world already knew and fired Jim Schwartz. Of course they bring in the most vanilla black man in America in Jim Caldwell, so who knows if he'll do anything to inspire the team to live up to its potential. I'm not a huge Stafford guy, but I like adding Golden Tate and rookie Eric Ebron to the mix. They should compliment Calvin Johnson very well. As much as we all like professional hand-stomper Ndamukong Suh, their defensive line wasn't very good last season, and Nick Fairley has already been demoted after struggling with his weight and production. I think Detroit is still a long way from Green Bay and Chicago in terms of contending, but opening at home against an inferior opponent should get them a victory. Lions win, Giants with the points.

10:20pm EDT, ESPN

San Diego at Arizona (-3) - Once again, the league sticks San Diego with the super-late Monday night game. Your shitty scheduling only makes PRIVS' talisman glow brighter, Goodell!



What a stud. While breakout rookie Keenan Allen should continue to be a top target for Rivers, it's the defense that has a chance to be a special unit. Adding Brandon Flowers on the back end and already boasting a lot of talent up front, I think San Diego is a strong playoff team this season. But I also like Arizona to take a big step forward. They won 10 games last year and have one of the best secondaries in the league, and I like the continued development of the Palmer-to-Floyd connection. And if Andre Ellington can add consistency to his big play ability, it should help Arizona make the playoffs as well. Cardinals win and cover.

[Cail]

You had the chance for heady mvp thread title or ay other fappening, and you blew it

[Cutriss]

Alouettes asking after Michael Sam

Is the CFL really where NFL careers go to die? Jeff Garcia's the only exception I know of offhand.

[Adajer]

Must lol at Bears making playoffs and Broncos going to SB again, let alone winning.

[Chun Liroy]

Fucker made 2 shit posts for this too.

Mods suck

[Rhinox]

this f'n guy

[Adajer]

this f'n guy

Why is this not my title?

[Bregor]

Why is this not my title?

That would take effort

[Bregor]

You had the chance for heady mvp thread title or ay other fappening, and you blew it

Those pics were great and all, but after looking at them last night I was like "well that's nice" and then watched a porn star get fucked. Who faps to still photographs anymore?

[Headspace]

Should change it to F'n. Body

also, lol @ Pitt winning division lol

[Adajer]

My lone want for this year is TB to take NFC south and WRECK Chicago in Chicago.

[Arvin]

3. Washington goes full I Am Sam and benches or trades Bob Triple.

PLZ

[notorious bum]

10/10 OP, would fap again.

[Gadritan]

My lone want for this year is TB to take NFC south and WRECK Chicago in Chicago.

You realize the Saints, Falcons, and Panthers play in the NFC South right?

[Dimmauk]

Is that blonde using Jerry Jones as a toilet?

[Krandor]

AFC East: New England
AFC North: Cincinnati
AFC South: Indianapolis
AFC West: Denver
Wild Cards: San Diego, Miami

NFC East: Philadelphia
NFC North: Chicago
NFC South: New Orleans
NFC West: Seattle
Wild Cards: Green Bay, San Fran

AFC Championship: New England over Denver
NFC Championship: San Fran over Chicago
Super Bowl Champ: New England

Coach: Trestman
Comeback POY: Gronk
Offensive POY: Lesean McCoy
Defensive POY: J.J. Watt
Offensive ROY: BORTLES
Defensive ROY: Clowney
NFL MVP: shit ass tom bardy

Coaches Fired: Dennis Allen, Marvin Lewis

[Omnipotent]

AFC East: New England
AFC North: Cincinnati
AFC South: Indianapolis
AFC West: Denver
Wild Cards: San Diego, Miami

NFC East: Philadelphia
NFC North: Chicago
NFC South: New Orleans
NFC West: Seattle
Wild Cards: Green Bay, San Fran

AFC Championship: New England over Denver
NFC Championship: San Fran over Chicago
Super Bowl Champ: New England

Coach: Trestman
Comeback POY: Gronk
Offensive POY: Lesean McCoy
Defensive POY: J.J. Watt
Offensive ROY: BORTLES
Defensive ROY: Clowney
NFL MVP: shit ass tom bardy

Coaches Fired: Dennis Allen, Marvin Lewis

One can dream.

[Headspace]

AFC East: New England
AFC North: Cincinnati
AFC South: Indianapolis
AFC West: Denver
Wild Cards: San Diego, Miami

NFC East: Philadelphia
NFC North: Chicago
NFC South: New Orleans
NFC West: Seattle
Wild Cards: Green Bay, San Fran

AFC Championship: New England over Denver
NFC Championship: San Fran over Chicago
Super Bowl Champ: New England

Coach: Trestman
Comeback POY: Gronk
Offensive POY: Lesean McCoy
Defensive POY: J.J. Watt
Offensive ROY: BORTLES
Defensive ROY: Clowney
NFL MVP: shit ass tom bardy

Coaches Fired: Dennis Allen, Marvin Lewis

Make playoffs, win playoff game, fire Marvin, HUEY JAX

[Bregor]

Wild Cards: Miami

Just wait