Real Talk : Suicide/Depression

[BerenTebogo]

Talking about "polluting" the body is a pretty quick way to let anyone with an education know that you have no idea what you're talking about:

So I appreciate that, will help others come to a sensible decision.

[Spicyryan]

Talking about "polluting" the body is a pretty quick way to let anyone with an education know that you have no idea what you're talking about:

So I appreciate that, will help others come to a sensible decision.

THOSE TOXINS MAN! NEED A COLON CLEANSE!

Perhaps they just selected a poor choice of words and meant ethanol pollutes the liver.

[Koul]

I don't struggle with thoughts of suicide - I've basically accepted it as an inevitability. I hate this world, and nearly every single person in it. I've been unemployed for 7 months, and my death approaches more quickly as my savings dwindle. I have no desire to get a job simply to continue existing, so I enjoy what time I have left playing games and arguing with people on the internets. Been seeing multiple therapists for months, group therapy once a week for weeks, antidepressants, etc. Nothing changes.

The world is shit, and the absence of suffering is more appealing than the futile hope that society and life will miraculously change for the better. Also inb4 some jackass posts that fucking suicide hotline so they can feel like they've actually done something even though the people that would call such a thing would never go through with it to begin with. There's a difference between cry for help suicidal and actually accepting that you will die suicidal.

Please, just bear with me for a bit as I get to my point. About 2 years ago I was fired from a job I was extremely passionate about. Being disillusioned with the career, I opted to start all over again doing something different so I ended up being unemployed for 4 months. Before my firing I was 500$ from being absolutely-completely-debt free. I spent all my savings, maxed out my CC's and had to get a brand new one (which is maxed out) just to buy cereal and milk to eat for dinner once a day. During my unemployment and feelings of worthlessness my boyfriend became distant and unresponsive. I later found that the entire time we were together (only 4 months) he was cheating on me. I found out because the shithead he cheated on me with came to MY house, crying, because my then-bf wouldn't respond to his texts. Shithead guy was told me and my bf were roommates and weren't together. When I confronted my bf, he admitted what he was doing and said I was "so unpleasant to be around after being fired" which I wanted to scream, "WELL, FUCKING DUH".

I was in a very, very dark place. Constantly googling "clean" ways to kill myself. Pills etc. I mean, if I really wanted to do it, I'd just go to my dads house and shoot myself in my head but I felt the cleanup people would have had to have done would've been selfish. I had a pretty decent support system. My sisters both sent me money to assist me. Constantly got calls from my mother and father and told how proud they were/are of me. My friends were all very supportive. But I didn't care about any of that. I felt useless. And just like you, I see how much of a shitfest the world is.

What mostly prevented me was I didn't know what would happen to my dog. And I couldn't imagine anyone taking care of him or treating him right. Even then sometimes I wouldn't care. He, with his peanut sized brain, would forget about me and love someone else the way he loves everyone so what difference did it make.

So, I think it's important to be realistic. The world sucks and everyone is generally shittastic as fuck. But there is hope out there. Hope for the better. Hope is infinite. Hope that things will get better for you one day. Hope that the challenges you face today will one day not be so hard. Hope that the challenges you are facing will make you a better person to make someone else better or the world better or something better. Even if you don't feel like that something is important or it's minute in the grand scheme of things, it is still something and that is what's important. You might wonder what matters in this world, this universe. Arguably, nothing. We're just a bunch of stardust floating around. But at the same time, life does matter. Your life, matters. You don't really know me and I don't really know you but know this, your posts on this shitfilled video game website have made me think and have mattered to me. If you feel like you havn't touched anyones life, you've touched mine and I appreciate you so much for that. Thank you.

[kuronosan]

THOSE TOXINS MAN! NEED A COLON CLEANSE!

Perhaps they just selected a poor choice of words and meant ethanol pollutes the liver.

The liver does its job in breaking down ethanol. It doesn't pollute the liver any more than breathing in farts pollutes the lungs.

[Spicyryan]

The liver does its job in breaking down ethanol. It doesn't pollute the liver any more than breathing in farts pollutes the lungs.

Fine, excessive consumption.

[BerenTebogo]

Fine, excessive consumption.

The same can be said of anything, including water.

Hence why it's a stupid comment that doesn't bear any validity. Oh, alcohol can be bad for you in excess? And pot can't? Oh, sure, okay.

[Spicyryan]

The same can be said of anything, including water.

Hence why it's a stupid comment that doesn't bear any validity. Oh, alcohol can be bad for you in excess? And pot can't? Oh, sure, okay.

Very true.

[Sho]

Talking about "polluting" the body is a pretty quick way to let anyone with an education know that you have no idea what you're talking about:

So I appreciate that, will help others come to a sensible decision.

Come on, my guy. What type of response is this?

If you smoke weed you should know outright it's far less harmful. That's all I was getting at. But you can have that win since you are being damn literal, lol.

[BerenTebogo]

Because what is harmful or not is highly specific to biology, dosage, etc. Blindly advocating for substances that alter moods without psychiatric guidance is dangerous, full stop.

Cards on the table, yeah, I'm sure more often than not a small hit of weed will be a helpful stimulus to someone who suffers from depression. The same can also be true of a small dose of alcohol (2 beers?). Neither is demonstratively more dangerous than the other (I defy you to source, academically, a counterargument to this) but neither is a good idea to recommend to the masses sight unseen.

Individual biology and brain chemistry is a complicated thing. So complicated, in fact, that there are numerous scientific and medical fields wherein people dedicate their entire lives to judiciously testing claims that you toss around like dirty laundry.

The only correct advice to give those suffering depression-like symptoms is to see a licensed professional. Anything further is anecdotal hogwash which amounts to nothing more than saying they need to cleanse their chi with crystal energy. Unlicensed advice on matters of mental health is dangerous. My initial response was to casually infer that there is a difference in response to such stimuli, but as that went unheeded, I feel a more direct response is required.

Any substance can be harmful to anyone if an amount that is toxic re: their body is ingested. Smoking too much of any substance can land you in equally murky waters as drinking too much (different responses, psychological vs. physical, but both real). Recommending anything but professional help to those who are in danger is a bad idea.

Truth be told this goes for all the people benevolent enough to say that they are there if anyone needs to talk. It makes me happy to see that, but I hope for the sake of everyone involved that if anyone does come to you as a confidant that the one singular line of discourse you push is that they seek professional help.

[Sho]

I see you on that. I can concede on that fact as well. Though I'm full willing to believe that he's not going to break down and implode from smoking a joint, it's sound advice to have him visit a physician to see if it's a good choice for him to go about doing. Either way it would be up to him if he would even want to go that route at all, and I can respect it as well, which is why I didn't press the fact further.

However, I cannot see you on the method of absorption of the material. He said he doesn't smoke, so I provided him with many other alternative methods of doing so, the safest being vaporizing. I'll chalk that part up to you reading over what I said and missing it all together.

I'm pretty benevolent about talking to people because I've personally beaten depression, and I'm willing to discuss with anyone who wants to send me a PM. I got two thanks and some questions since. I'm not here looking for praise, I just want to help my fellow BG peeps out and not see another tragedy such as hey or Woozie. I'm full willing to go the distance to see to this as well, advice and support for however long it takes. Fortunately, the non-singular line of discourse that I've been pushing has nothing to do with weed, if you again read some of my posts here.

[kuronosan]

I'm not depressed anymore. I just can't shut off my brain, and it makes me feel incredibly lonely at times.

[Sho]

Ahh man, that still sucks. :\

Just to ask, have you ever tried to challenge your mind by learning completely new subjects that are otherwise foreign to you?

[Kalmado]

I am a licensed mental health counselor in NY. It's unfortunate to hear stuff like this and I do on a daily basis. If you're down, depressed, feeling hopeless, get help or at least talk to a friend. All you need is someone to listen to you, professional or otherwise. The more you isolate the worse it will be over time.
Remember there is always hope.

I tried to PM you, but you don't accept messages! I'd really like to bounce a few things off of you. If you would please PM me!

[Tarage]

I've had thoughts, but for me, death is horrifying. I can't even think about my own eventual death very hard without going into a panic attack. The idea that I will not exist someday is my biggest phobia. In that sense, I don't understand suicide. Yeah, life can suck, but at least you are there to feel it, to experience it. As soon as you're dead, that's all over. There is no do-over. Maybe things get better, maybe they get worse, but at least tomorrow, when you wake up, something will have changed, even if it's just your body getting closer to it's eventual end. I guess it's a pretty morbid way of looking at it, but I can't really see it any other ways. I guess I'll never understand suicide. Depression I get 100%. I'm depressed right now. But suicide? I'll never ever be able to even come close.

[Cream Soda]

It may not be only depression. It may be situation/surrounding factors as well. For example, I lived a year basically homeless (lived in an abandoned house; no utilities). It was in the same neighborhood as a huge nature park and had a creek behind the back yard. I had to decide (and often rotate) whether I'd want to sleep in my room and deal with dozens of mosquitoes each night in the summer or if I wanted to sleep in the closet and literally wake up in a pool of my own sweat each month. Had to live on $29/month for food, which was like 3 packs of dry ramen and nothing else, still had to get up and go to school every day. Had to study at starbucks until they closed and under street lights after if an exam was coming up (ended up passing 4 classes with a C and having to retake two D's).

I could go on, but you get the point. It didn't break me, but I"m sure that that scenario could break a lot of people, and while not "broken", between then and now what have I done/where am I? There's nothing I've experienced now that was worth going through all that shit, that's for sure. If I had prior knowledge of where I am now and that the scenario was going to take place for a year, it wouldn't have been depression, but just straight up "The future life I've seen isn't worth putting up w/ a year of this shit for". Had I some future vision or some shit, I'd have ended it there just for the sake of "fuck this shit" lol

Point is, feeling depressed/sad isn't the only factor towards suicide. There are also really extreme situations. Even with the prior knowledge of squatting in a house for a year and how horrible that was to live in(but still having freedom), if I ever got, let's say a 10 year prison sentence; I wouldn't care what's on the other side of that. Nothing in my opinion would be worth living for 10 years that way. I'd end it first chance that presented itself

[Aksannyi]

The thing is, depression doesn't necessarily have anything to do with living situation, society, or any external factors. It is a chemical imbalance in the brain that can affect anyone, even the people who have cushy lives. Saying to someone, "But what do you have to be depressed about?" is like asking them why they have asthma because they drive a fancy car, or why they got cancer when they make six figures annually.. Depression can be exacerbated by outside factors, but it doesn't disproportionally affect people who are in bad situations. It is, probably, more visible in people who are struggling, but depression doesn't just hit you if you have a shitty life. It is a disease that doesn't discriminate.

[Cream Soda]

Oh I'm not saying that. I was simply saying that if he absolutely couldn't understand the depression aspect of it, there are other reasons that people commit suicide aside from depression (so basically not understanding depression =/= not understanding suicide). Not that depression had any less impact than it actually does

[Aksannyi]

Oh, okay. I was just clarifying.

[Grey Jorildyn]

I tried to PM you, but you don't accept messages! I'd really like to bounce a few things off of you. If you would please PM me!

Sorry about that. I can accept PMs now.

[Spicyryan]

I'm not depressed anymore. I just can't shut off my brain, and it makes me feel incredibly lonely at times.

As silly as it sounds you could try to meditate. Eventually you should be able to relax. Even if you can only break that excess traffic going on for a few moments then you had a moment of having a handle on the matter.