How to start a conversation when online dating?

[Yuri-G]

I need to learn from this thread... I take online dating sites too seriously. isn't the whole point of online dating supposed to be that it's casual and fun and you can stretch your game out a bit without feeling the immediate sting of rejection?

I'm about to jump on the "sooner rather than later" bandwagon as well... some guys just seem to want to chat forever. that's cool but I have friends for that; either you want to go out with me based on my picture or you don't. let's find out rather than beat around the bush. I can beat around my bush all day; I don't need online dating for that.

don't mind me just psyching myself up over here! go get 'em tiger, you go girl, etc.

[Waraji]

Fresh off the press.

[AidenCarby]

[Josiahkf]

I need to learn from this thread... I take online dating sites too seriously. isn't the whole point of online dating supposed to be that it's casual and fun and you can stretch your game out a bit without feeling the immediate sting of rejection?

I'm about to jump on the "sooner rather than later" bandwagon as well... some guys just seem to want to chat forever. that's cool but I have friends for that; either you want to go out with me based on my picture or you don't. let's find out rather than beat around the bush. I can beat around my bush all day; I don't need online dating for that.

don't mind me just psyching myself up over here! go get 'em tiger, you go girl, etc.

Good luck!~
Are you after the whole find someone nearby and see if the online goes well enough that you want to meet them?

Or moreso the long distance thing where if it goes well, we can take things forward together.

I'm not against online dating and did fall for women online and end up moving in with them before, I just don't like actually lookingfor love online.

[Cal]

I actually met my fiancee through OKC.

I messaged them first. Just mentioned things in their profile we had in common.

This comment is not terribly helpful because I also live in an area where the odds were in my favor, and even a well thought-out message would be ignored - it was honestly exhausting with the amount of people that would message, sometimes to the point of harassment if I didn't respond right away. Seriously Sparky, your message only JUST hit the inbox... yah, you blocked now if you ask me why I didn't respond fifteen minutes later.

Also, a lot of people didn't know how to split what they wrote into paragraphs. Seriously, if I can't skim through and find something that catches my attention, I'm not going to read your 10 paragraph essay.

Sometimes it's about just timing and RNG.

I need to learn from this thread... I take online dating sites too seriously. isn't the whole point of online dating supposed to be that it's casual and fun and you can stretch your game out a bit without feeling the immediate sting of rejection?

I'm about to jump on the "sooner rather than later" bandwagon as well... some guys just seem to want to chat forever. that's cool but I have friends for that; either you want to go out with me based on my picture or you don't. let's find out rather than beat around the bush. I can beat around my bush all day; I don't need online dating for that.

don't mind me just psyching myself up over here! go get 'em tiger, you go girl, etc.

that's honestly how I felt before I met my fiancee. Walked in with no expecations, saw them, and went dayum. This was after dealing with a few fades and such.

Some guys just don't know how to get from point A to point B (messaging to actually meeting); I know I had to jive some guys to it sometimes.

[Celeras]

Your expectations should be thus: if you're a girl, you are filtering through a bunch of messages from people you aren't interested in hoping to find a normal, functioning human being. If you're a guy, you're hoping to bait someone you find attractive into actually responding.. and then hoping that they're not cray. Once you accept that and go in with a proper mindset, its really not so bad.

I shouldn't have to disclaimer this but since I posted some real shit earlier, the following is not mine. This thread is now about this:

Spoiler: show

[Spicyryan]

Your expectations should be thus: if you're a girl, you are filtering through a bunch of messages from people you aren't interested in hoping to find a normal, functioning human being. If you're a guy, you're hoping to bait someone you find attractive into actually responding.. and then hoping that they're not cray. Once you accept that and go in with a proper mindset, its really not so bad.

I shouldn't have to disclaimer this but since I posted some real shit earlier, the following is not mine. This thread is now about this:

Spoiler: show

Well, my day was made. Best spoiler in a long time.

[tyven]

Fresh off the press.

lolol

[LinktheDeme]

Well, my day was made. Best spoiler in a long time.

Hotdog stand got me lol

[Yuri-G]

Good luck!~
Are you after the whole find someone nearby and see if the online goes well enough that you want to meet them?

Or moreso the long distance thing where if it goes well, we can take things forward together.

I'm not against online dating and did fall for women online and end up moving in with them before, I just don't like actually lookingfor love online.

I haven't even touched the long-distance thing yet... I won't lie, I've thought about it. mostly I'm just making new friends and hoping that one of those friendships will head a certain direction. the way I date I don't see much difference between making friends and dating anyway; it's the same process except sometimes it goes further and sometimes it doesn't. i.e. I don't sleep with guys until I like them (or if I really DON'T like them but they're hot)

[Onaruto]

It's easier in live because you have eye contact and it's hard for her to refuse her :D

[Tokitoki]

and it's hard for her to refuse

Hmmmmm.

You're doing it wrong.

[FNH]

[Onaruto]

Why? How do you do it?

[Spicyryan]

Why? How do you do it?

Well, personally I make sure I walk over with handcuffs to attach to them. Then it is hard for them to refuse.

[Onaruto]

Haha, yeah then it's really hard :D But what I say is more psychological thing

[Spicyryan]

Haha, yeah then it's really hard :D But what I say is more psychological thing

Yes yes, but I'm sure there be a near instantaneous psychological reaction to the handcuffs I just placed.
"Shh,shh, it's just marriage bracelets"

[Josiahkf]

I haven't even touched the long-distance thing yet... I won't lie, I've thought about it. mostly I'm just making new friends and hoping that one of those friendships will head a certain direction. the way I date I don't see much difference between making friends and dating anyway; it's the same process except sometimes it goes further and sometimes it doesn't. i.e. I don't sleep with guys until I like them (or if I really DON'T like them but they're hot)

I approach this similarly as well and just try to find good friends and see if things evolve into more; my days of having sex without the intimacy or caring deeply for the other person are long over.

Once I got a taste of the real deal and being in love as well as? Can never go back to plain sex; t's like going back to eating hot dogs exclusively after trying tenderloin

But hmm long distance relationships in 2015? So much has grown over the years since I was involved, I'm curious how much of the whole society of it has changed.

[Yuri-G]

I have realized something today: I date guys beneath my station because it's 1000% fucking easier.


I have three guys on tap right now who are all very interested and none of whom are really my type, but all of whom are passable. I'm not concerned about any of them; if they text me back or not I don't give two shits, I have all the control and it's awesome. you lost interest? I was never that interested anyway, cool beans!


then there's the one guy I met Saturday night who I find really attractive... I sent a text asking how golf was Sunday, he replies that he's golfing today actually, I'm like "oh that's cool, good weather for it." no reply, it's been about an hour. now keep in mind that we slept together, he texted me first, added me on facebook within like an hour of the first time we hung out, and he's obviously busy right now - regardless, my brain tells me he's clearly ignoring me because he has no interest and I'm not cute enough and I'll be alone forever because I can't have him. not that I believe any of that - I don't! - but that's how my brain works and it sucks. one hour without a text and it's quite literally the end of the world (in my head).


this is why I like the easy boys, the ones that are less cute, a little overweight, a little less confident. it's just... easier. does that make me a horrible person? I'm not sure. but it's true.


anyway thanks for listening. I couldn't post this on facebook for obvious reasons!

[BaneTheBrawler]

beneath my station

of all the things in your post this is the most likely to qualify you as a horrible person