Congrats, Colts. You are now as terrible as the Jim Zorn Redskins:
lol
Last week:
M/L: 8-6
ATS: 5-8-1
Overall:
M/L: 57-34
ATS: 44-44-3
BYE WEEK: Chicago, Cincinnati, Denver, Green Bay
THURSDAY, OCTOBER 22ND
8:25pm EDT, CBS/NFL Network
Seattle at San Francisco (+6) - I'm not hitting the panic button on the Seahawks yet. They're still a good team, but not the one that has struck fear into the hearts of every visiting team over the last two plus years. Also San Fran is real bad, I don't care if they did just win a game. Seahawks win and cover.
SUNDAY, OCTOBER 25TH
9:30am EDT, Yahoo
Buffalo v Jacksonville (+5.5) at Wembley Stadium - Hey London, getting excited for more NFL action?
Welp. Bills win and cover.
1:00pm EDT, CBS
Cleveland at St. Louis (-5.5) - Todd Gurley against Cleveland's run defense should be something. Rams win and cover.
Pittsburgh at Kansas City (+2) - This line has been pulled from almost every Vegas book because there's a chance Large Ben is able to play here. But Landry Jones, the four-year starter at Oklahoma, is just the latest in the long line of Sooner quarterbacks to light up the NFL. I think we all know the record books are littered with the names of Josh Heupel and Jason White, not to mention Slingin' Sammy Bradford. Who cares, Le'Veon Bell gon' sting dey ass. Steelers win and cover.
Houston at Miami (-4.5) - One win under Dan Campbell and Miami's back, amirite? Nevermind the fact Tannehill still threw two picks and they played the fucking Titans. Meanwhile Houston's two wins are against Tampa and Jacksonville. Blech. I guess I'll take the Texans in the upset.
NY Jets at New England (-9) - Wow I can't believe we are getting a Jets Patriots Super Bowl in week 7. Patriots win, Jets with the points.
1:00pm EDT, FOX
Tampa Bay at Washington (-3.5) - Jay Gruden, on KC1 and his eight interceptions this season: "Kirk needs to play better...and he will play better." Translation: "I had a world-class athlete at quarterback and my franchise and I completely ruined him." This is the kind of game where Washington lets an inferior opponent hang around all day and then they blow it in the 4th quarter, making for some great Junkies podcasts next week. Buccaneers in the upset.
Atlanta at Tennessee (+4.5) - Atlanta got TNF'd out of a perfect season (but c'mon it wasn't happening anyway) but I still think they and the Pack are the class of the NFC right now. The Titans are probably rolling with Zach Mettenberger, who got to play college ball with Jeremy TRILL, Ol' Dirty Beckham Jr, and Jarvis Landry and still looked mediocre. Oh yeah and Alabama beat them both his years as starter. Falcons win and cover.
New Orleans at Indianapolis (-4.5) - See above. Saints in the upset.
Minnesota at Detroit (+2.5) - So Derock, are you actively rooting against the Vikings now? I'm so confused. They're pretty good, mang. I like this Stefon Diggs kid, a guy who just knows how to run routes and catch the ball where he's supposed to. Detroit tried so damned hard to lose last week, but the Bears out-Bears'd them in the end. I think they go to the Whoopin' Room here. Vikings win and cover.
4:05pm EDT, CBS
Oakland at San Diego (-4) - Is it November yet?
Raiders in the upset.
4:25pm EDT, FOX
Dallas at NY Giants (-3.5) - In chess, the term "castling" is where your king and one of your rooks simultaneously switch relative positions along the back row of the board. In football, the term "Casseling" is where you exchange one shitty quarterback for another. Giants win, Cowboys with the points.
8:30pm EDT, NBC
Philadelphia at Carolina (-3) - Philly's won three of their last four, but don't tell Sam Bradford that, because he barely understands English and he'll just stare back at you with that dopey crosseyed gaze of his. Slingin' Sammy threw three more picks on Monday night, but I wouldn't bench him because they still have Mark fucking Sanchez as their backup. Carolina finally beat a good team but everyone says they still suck. NO RESPECT, CAIL. Panthers win and cover.
MONDAY, OCTOBER 26TH
8:30pm EDT, ESPN
Baltimore at Arizona (-7.5) - So do you think Michigan needs a new special teams coordinator? Cardinals win and cover.