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  1. #1
    THIS IS BREGOR'S STORY
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    2016 NFL Off-season Thread: Sheriff of a Lawless Land

    So Peyton Manning and the Denver Broncos just won the Super Bowl. Time for the old man to ride off into the sunset, right?



    Why does Eli look so glum? (Archie isn't exactly thrilled either.) He says he was just focused on the 2-point try. What he should have been worrying about was an incident from 1996 resurfacing at just the right time.



    Jamie Naughtright, a trainer at the University of Tennessee, claims that Peyton Manning dropped the dreaded Rikishi/Teabag combo on her while she was examining his ankle. Documents seem to support her claim and she feared there would be a cover-up. There was, UT settled with Naughtright, and that was that.



    Flash forward to today, when Peyton's massive forehead is on every other commercial for insurance, cereal, satellite TV, and of course shitty pizza made by a sociopath. The allegations of HGH use did little to curb people's love for Peytie Pie. But harassment and assault allegations, especially of a sexual nature, tend to stick in people's minds (not as much as dog fighting, but we're working on it). With Manning's future undecided and millions of dollars in endorsements at risk, what would happen to his squeaky-clean image?



    Nothing, that's what. A Seton Hall Sports Poll indicates that Manning's favorable ratings have remained relatively constant despite the recent articles outlining his less than innocent behavior. Maybe people are writing it off as a stupid thing college kids do. Maybe people are taking the well-worn bath of victim blaming. Maybe people don't give a fuck and just want their ketchup-on-cardboard-tasting pizza.



    The craziest thing is Peyton Manning right now is still hasn't made public his decision to retire. I'm guessing he's done, and he's just waiting for this UT stuff to blow over so the narrative doesn't include an actual human being he assaulted 20 years ago. But if he plays one more year, I for one will be hoping that an edge rusher catches him just right to pull a Joe Theismann-level hurt on him.

    Peyton, you were one of the greatest football players ever. Now go the fuck home.

    I now turn the thread over to Cail, who will quad-post largely meaningless NFL transactions for the next six months.

  2. #2
    GATTACA!
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    Quote Originally Posted by Anoat
    Fun from the combine, Miss St. DT Chris Jones is running the 40 yard dash when his shorts suffer a wardrobe malfunction, exposing his naughty bits, so he takes a diving slide to cover up, TV cameras don't understand what's happening and show his junk on instant replay anyway. http://www.cbssports.com/nfl/eye-on-...or-dt-prospect
    Finish the drill.

  3. #3
    Mr. Bananagrabber
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    We should definitely kick this thread off with some Cam hate to keep things in line with the offseason so far.

  4. #4
    Member since 2006 and still can't think of a title.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Krandor View Post
    We should definitely kick this thread off with some Cam hate to keep things in line with the offseason so far.
    There are people in the NBA thread bitching that Stephen Curry showboats as much if not more than Cam yet gets less hate. Honestly if you don't want to see someone showboat, don't let them score.

  5. #5
    Mr. Bananagrabber
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    Yeah but Steph isn't dark enough to be intimidating so it's OK.

  6. #6
    Fuck It, I'm Goin Deep Fan Club President
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bregor View Post
    I now turn the thread over to Cail, who will quad-post largely meaningless NFL transactions for the next six months.
    Hey

  7. #7
    I would prefer not to.
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    cail everyone else gets timeoutted when they spam post in this thread, enjoy the responsibility

  8. #8
    I would prefer not to.
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    we are the only ones who can get away with it

  9. #9
    I would prefer not to.
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    it's what trump would want

  10. #10
    Ironing this Thread
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    All of this is true

  11. #11
    I would prefer not to.
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    everyone else in this thread is a loser, you've always been losers, and you'll always be losers.

    TRUMP TRAM

  12. #12
    Mr. Bananagrabber
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    Boyiee fucking up the quad

  13. #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cail View Post
    Hey
    Well. He's not wrong.

  14. #14
    Brown Recluse
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    Quote Originally Posted by Melena View Post
    There are people in the NBA thread bitching that Stephen Curry showboats as much if not more than Cam yet gets less hate. Honestly if you don't want to see someone showboat, don't let them score.

    Quote Originally Posted by Krandor View Post
    Yeah but Steph isn't dark enough to be intimidating so it's OK.
    All true.

    I heard that Manning is voting for Drumpf

  15. #15
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    I'm going to be sad when the Krapernick saga ends with the 49ers. Hoping Chip's wild ride will keep things interesting this off season. 49ers are going to be as white as Santa Clara's police force.

  16. #16
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    Quote Originally Posted by Krandor View Post
    Boyiee fucking up the quad
    Caught it just in time.

  17. #17
    THIS IS BREGOR'S STORY
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    Quote Originally Posted by Melena View Post
    I'm going to be sad when the Krapernick saga ends with the 49ers. Hoping Chip's wild ride will keep things interesting this off season. 49ers are going to be as white as Santa Clara's police force.
    Make the Niners Great Again

  18. #18
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bregor View Post
    Make the Niners Great Again
    Some homeless dude in the town over was given $10 by a hasidic jew to pour coffee over his head on camera. He was wearing a niners jacket so the team randomly sent the dude a care package (the homeless guy not the jew). I don't know why I felt like bringing that up.

  19. #19
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    Am disappoint that BUF didn't get Hard Knocks with both Ryan brothers, Rich Incognito, Shady fresh off some incident, etc. etc. NFL was probably frightened of what would happen if we were put on TV.

  20. #20
    Fuck It, I'm Goin Deep Fan Club President
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    Saints cut Marques Colston with failed physical designation

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