AA, Substance Abuse and all other related discussion

[kuronosan]

You need to give yourself a method of distraction or reinforcement to remind you that it's just your brain fighting you on cravings. Is the hardest part of battling addiction because your conscious mind knows what's going on but brain chemistry is unfortunately brain chemistry and that's what needs to change.

Your agitation is likely secondary to needing a mechanism for venting and not being able to turn to the usual.

[Kalmado]

You need to give yourself a method of distraction or reinforcement to remind you that it's just your brain fighting you on cravings. Is the hardest part of battling addiction because your conscious mind knows what's going on but brain chemistry is unfortunately brain chemistry and that's what needs to change.

Your agitation is likely secondary to needing a mechanism for venting and not being able to turn to the usual.

Are you saying that say when a situation happens at work my agitation stems from not being able to turn to having a drink immediately because I'm at work and I can't do that? Thinking of it like that, yeah that makes sense. I have some poster board laying around and I'm going to make a sign above my PC monitor reminding me how it's just in my head.

I don't know if this sounds crazy or not but I was considering going balls deep in FFXIV. Some people do not believe this but I swear to God FFXI is the reason I quit smoking. I never smoked in my apartment and once I started grouping a lot in XI I hated constantly taking breaks to go smoke. Just like now, smoking back then was strictly a habit. I hated it. I tried gum, patch, cold turkey. Nothing worked. But once I got into XI I basically was so addicted to playing that I didn't want to miss anything so breaking to smoke stopped. I do have a XI account but I found myself getting bored quickly. I did buy XIV a very long time ago right after they revamped it. I only played 30 days though.

[kuronosan]

Well, yea.

[Cream Soda]

Upgraded from killing a 1.75L every 3-4 days to doing the same thing but with 101 proof instead of 70 proof.

Bumps me up another 2-3 dollars per bottle :/

[Spicyryan]

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[Cyn]

I don't think I'd consider that an upgrade...

[Kalmado]

1.75L every 3-4 was me about a year ago or so. Days blended together and I was lucky if I even stayed awake past 8:00 PM most nights.

Night two was weird in a way. Took my second ativan at 2:00 PM while at work. Not sure if it was the meds or a mix of being busy and it being a great day but everything was just, awesome in a way. I had to leave an hour early due to overtime so left at 4:00 PM. Got home around 4:15 PM and it was like I hit a brick wall. I was TIRED. Wife was taking a nap on the couch so I laid down in bed upstairs. I didn't fall asleep but just laid there for around 45 minutes. Got up and did my normal internet browsing. Still considering if I want to try XIV. Watched some random YT play videos and everything looks so busy. I just look at the UI and it's like I can't put together all the things that are happening at once. Or, my brain is exaggerating things and it's not that bad and I could be missing out on some good fun.

Made a simple burger around 7:30 PM or so and wife and I watched three episodes of Making a Murderer 2. Was around 11 were I cashed out for the night. Felt almost like yesterday was a day off for how much time I spent awake and sober. Was pretty cool and double cool is I woke up today not feeling like I got ran over by a truck.

[Byrthnoth]

FFXIV isn't hard but expect to watch an explainer video before every boss fight of significance.

[Spicyryan]

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[Rooney]

You would be surprised. Or maybe not. High-functioning alcoholics can keep that up for a loooooong time.

[kuronosan]

You would be surprised. Or maybe not. High-functioning alcoholics can keep that up for a loooooong time.

No, they can't.

[Rooney]

I did 2-3 1.75L bottles of 92 proof liquor per week for ~3 yrs. Thankfully didn't kill my liver, but yes it is absolutely possible.

[kuronosan]

Lol, you think 3 years is a long time.

How old are you?

[Cream Soda]

Just getting rid of all my comments; not worth the hassle enjoy your thread

[Cyn]

I did a handle of bourbon every 2-3 days for about a decade, and that was about the limit. I'd have been dead within a year or two if I hadn't gone to rehab to quit. My platelet count when I went in as an otherwise healthy 37 year old male was in the double digits.

[Spicyryan]

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[Kalmado]

I promise I'm not trying to use this thread as my live journal but I feel like I need to share! So three days down and withdrawal effects have been minimal. No headaches, sweats, tremors, and heart rate has been fine per wife. There have been a few moments I get that ball in throat or like someone is slightly strangling me feeling. I more so considered that a sign of anxiety. I suppose it's a sign of both. One thing that is for sure is a few hours after the second Ativan all I want to do is sleep. The weekend makes things easier on the mind for sure but I can say honestly I haven't had a bad thought yet. We'll see how things are later on.

Tonight will be my first challenge since wife leaves for work at around 5:30 PM. I got XIV up and running and this morning I've just been running around like a noob doing noob quests and wacking ladybugs. Pretty enjoyable thus far. Still find the UI so busy.

I'd also like to say thank you to every single person who has posted here. Whether you realize it or not, your comments are valuable and really help, even if it's talking about your own consumption (healthy or unhealthy). I told my wife how I've written here about what I've been going thru and how much BG supports it's own community. I am not on any form of traditional social media. BG (and reddit) is my social media and my wife knows how much I love being apart of this place because I feel many of y'all genuinely try to help one another and we share with each other to help.

In other words, simply put, thank you for having a place for me to type words. It means a lot more than most people would think.

[Spicyryan]

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[Cream Soda]

Just getting rid of all my comments; not worth the hassle enjoy your thread

[Salodin]

I've been fucked up on multiple drugs before, and never came close to pissing on the floor. Dafuk is wrong with you. Lmao

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