Recently, my brother married (again). Wedding was scheduled to take place about a month after his return from Afghanistan and right before being deployed, he was quite set on using the money he'd earn to pay off his loan.
When push came to shove, the small gathering with the closest friends turned into yet another feast with people of whom I knew barely anyone at all (in addition to that, he also bought a new car, but that's not quite the point).
The point is, don't reduce your wedding to whatever's stuck on your wife's finger. If you're going to commit to a lifelong engagement, prove that you're ready by doing what's financially responsible instead of trying to force a single day to turn into the most special day of you and your wife's life. Seen people try that, didn't work out by the time they got divorced. Not saying you should be a cheapskate about it, but at least do what's affordable and put whatever thoughts you can into it instead of just pouring more money on it and turning your first few months after the fact into a lovely bundle of stress, if not years.
Edit: Come to think of it, if she throws a fit about any of that, congratulations on having dodged a bullet.