Random Fail FWP Thread 2: Something, Something, Your Mother's a Whore.

[BerenTebogo]

Considered making a thread regarding today's job market but meh will just bitch here. Today I received a notice from American Express I am not being considered for a work from home customer service role I applied for over two months ago. Never had an interview even tho I have nine years sales/service experience, multiple state licenses for things, etc etc. I don't care about not getting the chance to work for AMEX. What does confuse me tho is how even getting an interview works in today's job world. I'd venture to say 90% or more of employers require an online app and resume submitted first to be considered for just about any role. My curiosity to know and understand things is how a person can meet, exceed, and hold such strong qualifications for what a company is looking for regarding a position they are hiring for yet the applicant doesn't even get an interview. My only thought is the online application plus resume is missing a keyword and the app/resume gets filtered to the denied pile.

Exactly this.

Missing silly shit like "proficient in Microsoft Word" or Excel and stuff, even if ENTIRELY UNRELATED AND NEVER USED, can get you binned by some systems. Things like that are common.

[BerenTebogo]

We have had to revive applications that HR trashed before them getting to our team for SPACE TELESCOPE SCIENTISTS because they didn't list Microsoft Excel. Only found out when we had an unusually low amount of applications. HR fought us on reviving the applications.

I shit you not. This is how the job market works.

[Kalmado]

Try to review your resume and make sure to cut out any unrelated experience or added verbage that might be holding it back.

Simple is typically best and I had a few different versions depending where I was applying, i.e. sales , retail , automotive dealerships, etc.

The average resume I think I've heard gets a whopping 10 to 15 second glance before they move on. Moat important I find is the opening that highlights the relevant experience to the particular job and I modify that as needed.

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I agree with your sentiment in regards to sub 100 employee companies. For instance the Chevy/Honda dealer I just worked at is the largest dealer per volume and employees in our county and beats other nearby counties. However my manager would read every application that would come thru. I think it's because they (and I'm going to assume similar places under 100 employees) aren't so big they have large scale HR departments to filter resumes and apps instead of dept. managers looking at them. Like AMEX, at our hospital (Henry Ford Health Systems) I've applied for somewhere around 10-15 different positions I'm more than qualified for and have yet to have an interview. I always get the "After careful consideration" automated emails. It doesn't make sense, until reading what Sath wrote.

Exactly this.

Missing silly shit like "proficient in Microsoft Word" or Excel and stuff, even if ENTIRELY UNRELATED AND NEVER USED, can get you binned by some systems. Things like that are common.

We have had to revive applications that HR trashed before them getting to our team for SPACE TELESCOPE SCIENTISTS because they didn't list Microsoft Excel. Only found out when we had an unusually low amount of applications. HR fought us on reviving the applications.

I shit you not. This is how the job market works.

Regarding this, I've considered doing exactly what you've mentioned. Not blatantly lying like saying I have a masters degree in rocket fuel but as you said, "proficient in skill. Currently I'm studying for my MI real estate license and already have employment once I pass the state exam. But, if need be I'll follow your words.

[Brill Weave]

I forgot how to ban people.

[NynJa]

Who are you?

[Melena]

Unless his wife hacked his account, I just lost on the dead pool

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[Brill Weave]

Unless his wife hacked his account, I just lost on the dead pool

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Forgot my password one day and just never bothered to reset it.

[Zealot]

I paid a guy to rewrite my resume and it came back filled with buzzwords like that designed to get past filters.

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[Byrthnoth]

I completely forgot that I have a work trip tomorrow to Dallas and am triple booked for basically the rest of the week.

[dasva]

So a couple weeks ago had one event for a Sunday and another the Monday. One was cancelled because of the fires while the other bitched out because it was windy. So find out they both rescheduled for the same weekend again but both going to be on Sunday this time. So going to have to get a refund from one. Since one happens monthly probably that one... but it's sad because last months one was supposed to he Halloween themed and part of why we wanted to go now is because this is literally the last time this monthly event is going to be held on treasure island where it has been for years so wanted to see it before it moved and likely will have to go thru moving pains

[dasva]

so we get a call from one of our customer seems they are missing some boxes of documents and want us to look up when we must have accidentally shredded them and try to figure out for them who authorized us to destroy them. First problem as far as I can tell they don't even know they've been destroyed they just went looking recently and couldn't find them. Second problem they have no idea when it might have occurred so are asking us to look back about a year. 3rd problem... we do about 15-20 stops for a week a lot of them in a row same day. That's a lot of shit to look thru and various offices will often just mix stuff together or somebody might put some extra in with random other offices stuff and if it's just a little extra or they put it in our container before we get there we wouldn't even have a record of extra being done... meanwhile we also have lots of random spots where some extra is done. And even if we tracked down we wont have notes on who told us to destroy assuming we even did. So basically putting a ton of work on us to solve an impossible task to help them figure out who to throw under the bus... yeah ok

[Ksandra]

OMG guys, this was an awesome day that turned into a 50/50 chance bad day!

Our school was selected to go see Hamilton in the spring for $10 a student. They do this whole 3-day History curriculum thing leading up to it.

My boss, in her rush, had meant to send the email to the three History teachers, but sent it to one History teacher, an English teacher, and myself to see who was interested.

I, naturally, responded instantly claiming the trip.

Super excited, told the drama kids, one girl actually cried (drama kids). Told my boss I was thrilled, she realized her mistake and I said she can't take it back, it's too late, that the other history teachers can also be chaperones, so I got the trip!


Was on cloud 9 all day.


Then it finally sunk in. There are two show dates, one in March and one in April. You submit the request and they give you the show date (you cannot pick a preference). The one in March is right smack in the middle of my Disney Cruise trip.

Murphy's Law tells me we're going to get the March date. ;_;


I told my husband if we get assigned for March I'm buying my own ticket and going by myself. He wasn't thrilled by the idea. Even the nosebleed seats are $250.

[synistar]

Tickets go on sale Monday. Good luck.

And you'll get a single ticket easily. Just go on a Tuesday in July or something.

[Astylla]

Bought tickets on presale to go to see In This Moment in Reno in May so start looking into booking a room at the hotel it's at to make things easier. Well apparently that entire weekend is also a Women's National Juniors Volleyball championship so the hotel the concert at is already booked out and prices are higher than normal for everywhere else.

Now I'm trying to find a backup place to stay that's not only decent but not outrageously priced.

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[Rooney]

Electric company just sent me multiple bills for the same period. Except they aren't duplicates. Same address, same account, same dates, different amounts. I call in, and "Oops, sorry we have a glitch in our system. You owe X." Ok, that matches one of the bills, but how the hell am I supposed to know that??? And they sent out zero communication that they're having an issue.

[dasva]

Bought tickets on presale to go to see In This Moment in Reno in May so start looking into booking a room at the hotel it's at to make things easier. Well apparently that entire weekend is also a Women's National Juniors Volleyball championship so the hotel the concert at is already booked out and prices are higher than normal for everywhere else.

Now I'm trying to find a backup place to stay that's not only decent but not outrageously priced.

On the upside you get to bump into a bunch of women's volleyball players...



So last night starting at about 2:30 the homeless people sleeping under the eaves of the building behind my apartment started having a one sided yelling match... and it went on for a good 3 hours with only breaks in long tirades only being 30-60 seconds at best. Fuck it bring on the purge

[Tokitoki]

Someone left something on one of the toaster's heating elements that started smoking when I went to toast a bagel. Now my bagel tastes funny, the office smells, and people are giving me shit about it.

Not my fault someone is a slob. I took my bagel out and turned it off once I saw it smoking.

[synistar]

Just had to take my mom's dog that she rescued to the vet for pretty much the last ride. Vet confirmed DOA. She was a blind rescue dog that my mom was going to surrender for someone but grew attached. Got more than 2 extra years eating the high life of hot chicken pieces and wouldn't eat anything else because my mom spoiled her before she passed nearly 2 years ago. Was ready for this for the last 2 weeks since she collapsed during a bathroom outing. Still hurts and I know my nieces are going to be in tears. At least they got to hold her one last time.

[Anoat]

Just pulled a tick out from my upper arm pit area so now I’m reading a bunch of shit on webmd about Lyme disease, joy

[Moss]

Just pulled a tick out from my upper arm pit area so now I’m reading a bunch of shit on webmd about Lyme disease, joy

Don't do that brah you're gonna nocebo yourself

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