Something WE ALL should think about

[Seven]

On vacation recently with Carbon in Barbados we were driving around in the golf cart and decided we were gonna hang out by the pool. As soon as we got comfortable Carbon notified me that he had to take a huge dump. The conversation went as follows:

Carbon: "O boy, I gotta take a big dump."
Me: "Alright there is a clubhouse bathroom over there."
Carbon: "No, I need you to drive me back to the house."
Me:"Why the hell do I need to drive you there, just go here."
Carbon: "Sorry this is one of those poops where I really gotta get private if you know what I mean."
Me: "What the hell are you talking about?"
Carbon: "This is one of those 30 minute lingering poops. I really need to sit down and concentrate on this one."
Me: "Whats wrong with the bathroom here?"
Carbon: "The toilet seats cave in at a wierd angle and I really dont have enough room in there."
Me: "What in the hell do you need room for?"
Carbon: "I need to get completely naked for this poop and lay out my clothes, its the only way I'm gonna be able to get this one out peacefully."
Me: "Dude what in the hell are you talking about?"
Carbon: "What do you mean, every guy gets these poops. I really just need to be alone for 30 minutes to meditate as i drop this one. Most importantly I need to be completely naked and I cannot do that in the clubhouse bathroom."
Me: "Whatever man you are really messed up."
Carbon: "Lets just go I can feel it starting to clog up already."

Now here is my question. Does this sound rational to anybody. Who would go through all of this trouble to go to the bathroom?

[Shuemue]

Sounds pretty normal. Maybe he had no suitable reading material?

[Jeveh]

GTFO. Whats up with all the people making new threads that arent funny? They're not.

[Stilgar]

GoGo Carbon! You tell him how us experts shit. :D

[Chumbelina]

I almost believe this... funny story.. but tell me this:

How did Carbon get a vacation from the gas station!? He like.. always has to work all the time ;-;

In a related story:

I usually have to have my socks off when I poop.. I just can't wear socks.. i dunno why.

[Lordwafik]

I usually have to have my socks off when I poop.. I just can't wear socks.. i dunno why.

lol

I usually forget the time when I go to the bathroom and sometimes daydream till my leg falls asleep, then proceeds the trying-to-stand-up-but-topple-over routine.

[Chumbelina]

I usually have to have my socks off when I poop.. I just can't wear socks.. i dunno why.

lol

I usually forget the time when I go to the bathroom and sometimes daydream till my leg falls asleep, then proceeds the trying-to-stand-up-but-topple-over routine.

lol! let's change this to a "what do you do when you poop" thread!

I read videogame instruction manuals.

I read Entertainment weekly, National Geographic, PC gamer, PSM, BudK catalog (swords and knives magazine) and the comics in the local newspaper if it's Friday (my parents always get the friday paper.. haha)

[Not Kuno]

e

[Shaede]

http://www.drtoy.com/images/items/2004_2_010.jpg

[Septimus]

Salesman: "We've got Everybody Poops, it's the standard. And there's the slightly less popular, Nobody Poops But You.

Peter: "Well, you see... We're Catholic."

Salesman: "We also have You're a Naughty Child and That's Concentrated Evil Coming Out of the Back of You."

[Pyrena]

Maybe it's because I'm a girl, but I don't understand how anyone can spend more than 5 mins pooping. Does it really take 20 mins for poop to come out of a guy's butt?

[rezn0r]

Maybe it's because I'm a girl, but I don't understand how anyone can spend more than 5 mins pooping. Does it really take 20 mins for poop to come out of a guy's butt?

you should time kaige and report back to us

[untouchable]

im pooing right now actually :/
(laptop)

[zakhiel]

Does it really take 20 mins for poop to come out of a guy's butt?

Yes... yes it does. We like to take our time, don't rush it. It's one of our 'me' places. They don't call the toilet our throne for nothing. :wink:

[Lockecole]

Maybe it's because I'm a girl, but I don't understand how anyone can spend more than 5 mins pooping. Does it really take 20 mins for poop to come out of a guy's butt?

Actually I'm an in and out kinda guy. (strictly when it comes to the bathroom. >_>) You guys need more fiber in your diet.

[edgarfigaro]

Maybe it's because I'm a girl, but I don't understand how anyone can spend more than 5 mins pooping. Does it really take 20 mins for poop to come out of a guy's butt?

Actually I'm an in and out kinda guy. (strictly when it comes to the bathroom. >_>) You guys need more fiber in your diet.

Basically, you sit down and start reading, then you don't come out until you finish reading. The pooping is entirely incidental.

[Borisan]

When I poo I MUST have something to read, if I don't have a book or magazine I start desperately searching all over the bathroom for something, a wrapper, nutrition facts, ingredients, warning labels, something int he fucking trash. If that doesn't work, I write something on toilet paper, and read it till I am done.

[Daahan]

I'm a health nut, so like Lockecole said, lots of fiber is the way to go (I eat several vegetables throughout the day and a bowl of shredded wheat in the morning). That way, you're not in there that long.

[Almaa]

Shitting for anything longer than 5 minutes is a waste of time.

[Parshath]

Man, I dunno about you guys with your 'fibre' but I love staying in the bathroom for a good old poop.