Apparently playing video games is a Satanic ritual

[Warudo Ecksu]

Copied and pasted this from a friend's bulletin on myspace.

If Your Child is a Gothic, Reform Through the Lord!

Listed below are some warning signs to indicate if your child may have
gone astray from the Lord. Gothic (or goth) is a very obscure and
often dangerous culture that young teenagers are prone to
participating in. The gothic culture leads young, susceptible minds
into an imagined world of evil, darkness, and violence. Please seek
immediate attention through counselling, prayer, and parental guidance
to rid your child of Satan's temptations if five or more of the
following apply to your child:

-Frequently wears black clothing.
-Wears band and/or rock t-shirts.
-Wears excessive black eye makeup, lipstick or nailpolish.
-Wears any odd, silver jewelry or symbols. Some of these include:
reversed crosses, pentagrams, pentacles, ankhs or various other
Satanic worshipping symbols.
-Shows an interest in piercings or tattoos.
-Listens to gothic or any other anti-social genres of music. (Marilyn
Manson claims to be the anti-Christ, and publicly speaks against the
Lord. Please discard any such albums IMMEDIATELY.)
-Associates with other people that dress, act or speak eccentrically.
-Shows a declining interest in wholesome activities, such as: the
Bible, prayer, church or sports.
-Shows an increasing interest in death, vampires, magic, the occult,
witchcraft or anything else that involves Satan.
-Takes drugs.
-Drinks alcohol.
-Is suicidal and/or depressed.
-Cuts, burns or partakes in any other method of self-mutilation. (This is a Satanic ritual that uses pain to detract from the light of God and His love. Please seek immediate attention for this at your local mental health center.)
-Complains of boredom.
-Sleeps too excessively or too little.
-Is excessively awake during the night.
-Dislikes sunlight or any other form of light. (This pertains to vampires promoting the idea that His light is of no use.)
-Demands an unusual amount of privacy.
-Spends large amounts of time alone.
-Requests time alone and quietness. (This is so that your child may
speak to evil sprits through meditation.)
-Insists on spending time with friends while unaccompanied by an adult.
-Disregards authority figures; teachers, priests, nuns and elders are
but a few examples of this.
-Misbehaves at school.
-Misbehaves at home.
-Eats goth-related foods. Count Dracula cereal is an example of this.
-Drinks blood or expresses an interest in drinking blood. (Vampires
believe this is how to attain Satan. This act is very dangerous and
should be stopped immediately.)
-Watches cable television or any other corrupted media sources. (Ask
your local church for proper programs that your child may watch.)
-Plays videos games that contains violence or are of a role-playing nature.
-Uses the internet excessively and frequently makes time for the computer.
-Makes Satanic symbols and/or violently shakes head to music.
-Dances to music in a provocative or sexual manner.
-Expresses an interest in sex.
-Masturbates
-Is homosexual and/or bisexual.
-Pursues dangerous cult religions. Such include: Satanism,
Scientology, Philosophy, Paganism, Wicca, Hinduism and Buddhism.
-Wears pins, stickers or anything else that contains these various
phrases: "I'm so gothic, I'm dead", "woe is me", "I'm a goth".
-Claims to be a goth.

If five or more of these apply to your child, please intervene
immediately. The gothic culture is dangerous and Satan thrives within it. If any of these problems persist, enlist your child into your
local mental health center."

~St. Mary's Catholic Church

lol?

[Heian]

lol you freak.

[Scunsion]

satan owns anyway

[Alleya]

Some of these are valid concearns, others are just downright funny.

[Warudo Ecksu]

satan owns anyway

I'm praying for your soul. We need to rid you of Satan's temptations.


sup heian 8)

[GundamCloud]

omfg i lol'ed so hard... just lol

[Shaede]

Damn that Satan and his infernal testings of mankind! Lord knows that your children shouldn't have to go through any sort of moral tests as did Jesus before his crucification by the Romans, Budda on his way to enlightenment under the Bo tree, or even 900 years after Christ, Hallaj before his crucification by the Moslems. True enlightenment / salvation / entry into the Kingdom of Heaven are obviously awarded only to the blindly faithful, who commit terrible evils in the ignorance of their own beliefs.

=P

[GundamCloud]

-Eats goth-related foods. Count Dracula cereal is an example of this.

damn atleast my chocula is safe for now.

[shihei]

catholic propaganda...?

religion was so 1600's...anyway

[Raivyn]

"cult religions such as: philosophy"

LOL

[GundamCloud]

man this is what i would expect to hear from focus on the family or something lol

[Marius]

phrases: "I'm so gothic, I'm dead", "woe is me", "I'm a goth".

wtf?! lol

[Avvesione]

Catholics for ya...

Protestants are the best, fyi.

[Warudo Ecksu]

Can protestants eat Count Chocola without fear of eternal damnation?

[Meilyn]

hahahahahaha wow thats awesome, good laugh for the end of the day!

-complains of boredom

guess most people with office jobs are satanic =P

[Insanecyclone]

-Masturbates

Oh please <_> if you dont masturbate,you're not human

[Shaede]

-Masturbates

Oh please <_> if you dont masturbate,you're not human

In the Middle Ages, Catholic nuns had assistants which would "clean" them on a regular basis. They didn't quite realise it, but their "cleansing" process was actually to stimulate a female orgasm. The church found, though, that this processs of cleansing would drastically reduce how high strung and irritable the nuns would otherwise become.

[Heian]

Can protestants eat Count Chocola without fear of eternal damnation?

We at BG Forums have just stumbled upon the moral delimia of the 21st Century.

[½pint]

Can nobody else see that this is fake?

[Raivyn]

Can nobody else see that this is fake?

Most likely fake, yes, but it's good for a laugh.

I mean it was posted on someone's myspace, that's nowhere near credible lol. But it's still funny as hell.