Pulling Through

[Kuai]

this isnt myspace faggot holy shit

[Chips]

Hookers solve the problem.

You fucking douche bag.

[Jerseyprophet]

Everytime I call her cell phone and it keeps ringing, every time I think that theres no possible way to beg her to stop all this shit, I cant breathe and my heart starts pounding.

Noone close to me has ever killed themself before and this is the worst anxiety I've ever felt.



The worst part is that noone knows what couldve been so fucking wrong in her heart that she couldnt talk to anyone or seek out any of us to help her through it. She loved me, why couldnt she talk to me? I wouldve done anything, given her anything to make it alright. Everyone loved her!

[Axil]

There is such a thing called chemical depression d00d

[Anyway]

Its not about me. Its about her.

I'm flying back out to alaska to see her family this weekend.

I cant even believe this shit, it's not even real, Chumb. All she left was a note that said "Love is a four letter word".

Isn't that a song? "Love is a four letter word, and so is pain"

[Enkidu]

Love is a four letter word is a Dylan song.

[dekamii]

Hey JP...tho u might not know me but i did said hi to u in Garlaige Citadel ages ago. Like most of the poster said just give it some time, express ur feelings and share them with ur beloved ones. Like you said earlier if she doesn't express her feelings how can anyone help her, this goes the same for you. Just think positively! thats how we advance in life :D

[*Shinzon*]

I think I'll take a little bit of a different view here while I do agree with some of the other constructive posts. The act itself of suicide is infact a selfish one. Its the action committed when you feel you're at the max of your emotional and mental pain tolerance level. While it is an incredibly difficult thing to deal with, what should give you closure, is the fact that you couldn't of done anything more.

I read some of your posts and you seem to be blaming it on yourself or being blamed that you some how had a hand in it, and guess what, you shouldnt take it to heart. Suicide in the end is an action only the individual is responsible for. Its a "quick escape" to the problems of life and communication. Communication in which the person obviously had trouble with judging by what she did. I ain't no doctor, and I've never had it personally happen to me, but one thing you MUST not allow it to do is consume you.

You cannot hold yourself solely responsible for the actions of other individuals no matter how much you wish you could, to try and justify feelings of guilt or sorrow. Its a really difficult situation and I'm not exactly sure this'll help but I do believe you should take this advice and definatly talk it out, see her friends family, a doctor, whatever it is you need to do to communicate. Because if you let it build up, it'll just end up consuming you in the end aswell.

[Avé]

I don't even know what to say. I lost a cousin over a year ago to leukemia. It's hard, but it does get better. Right now, I'm in that "comfortably numb" stage. It's only been in the past few months (since I quit FFXI and made time for real life again) that I've started to move on a bit.

Like others have said, talk it out, don't keep anything inside. Or if you don't want to deal with other people, then write it out on paper and just throw it away when you're done. The anger and pain will go away with time, just live your life honoring her. While I don't know what you are going through, I do know you can't blame yourself, It's makes it that much easier to get out of the angry/denial phase when you accept (true or not) that there was nothing you could have done.

[Jerseyprophet]

Im flying up to alaska to the funeral, and I know exactly where to go.

We used to drive up to this beautiful scenic view on this long mountain road and talk about whatever. You can see the prettiest sunsets there, when the sun actually does set in alaska. It's really, really peaceful and quiet and thats how Id like to think my friend is now. Since we're throwing around quotes, "theres a peace in death she couldnt find in life". I think thats the best place to reflect on my times with her and tell her my last goodbyes, if she hears it or not.

Thanks for the advice everyone. I pray you never have to feel what this feels like.

[Willary]

It goes away, time + alcohol >>>>>>>>> bandaids and neosporin

[Mysterio]

sorry to hear this dude.

Its probably best if you don't seek reprieve on the internet in all honesty.

its time to be with your families.

[Cletis]

hang in there six

[Jujubie]

Having to deal with the death of someone you loved is very difficult, especially when it is sudden and unexpected. It has been just over 7 years since I lost my mom, who was also my best friend. (Heart attack at 48, WTF!)

They say time heals all wounds, but grief is better described as a roller coaster with highs and lows. The lows get further apart as time goes by. Some days you just get hit with it all over again and it feels like it was just yesterday, even after 7 years.

Just talk it out when you need to, cry when you need to, and remember the good times and laugh outloud when you remember the funny times. You are in my thoughts JP. /comfort

Juju

[Lockecole]

this isnt myspace faggot holy shit

Congratulations on your 893rd post noone cared about.

My condolences are with you JP. As much as I don't think you should be venting here, because the internet isn't the most forgiving form of communication, if this is what makes you feel better, or keeps your mind off of things, then we're here for you. Alot of us have experienced loss in our lives, so all we can do is try and relate to how you're feeling on some level, as hard as that can be sometimes. Keep people close to you, your loved ones, your friends, everyone. Leave no room for regrets in the things you say, and how you treat the people in your life.

[yayaok]

i think many of us here have lost someone close, whether it be accidents or illness, alot of us can relate to how you feel i'm sure.

i lost my mom a few years ago, was pretty numbed back then but nowdays, whenever i think back about the time we shared together, i can always smile.

just don't forget her. it'll be hard and painful at this era but when time passes by, you'll manage to pull off a smile...

hope you have a safe flight, my consolations to you.

[macbain24]

Did someone steal her ipod?

[Alleya]

This forum is not your fucking live journal. Please stop treating it as such. Go make some real friends and bitch to them like the rest of us.