Pulling Through

[Jerseyprophet]

I dont really know where else to talk to people about this, so here goes.

I got a phone call today that I didnt really want, and I want to talk to someone here who has had to deal with this.

Tell me the anger and pain subsides, and that you find some solace in any of it. Tell me I'll be able to look at her pictures again and not feel sick to my stomache.


She was my girlfriend for over four years.


If you have to lie to me, so be it - but tell me that it all passes in time. I just need to hear that.

[Chumbelina]

Oh my God... I want to say that I feel sorry, which, I do, but I don't know what that feels like and I know it's not what you want to keep hearing over and over. If it's not too much to ask.. what happened?

[Jerseyprophet]

Its not about me. Its about her.

I'm flying back out to alaska to see her family this weekend.

I cant even believe this shit, it's not even real, Chumb. All she left was a note that said "Love is a four letter word".

[Amarok]

What happened?

[Jerseyprophet]

Noone knows, or at least is telling me. They didnt tell me any reasons, just that it happened last nite. She never gave anyone any warnings or signs of depression.

Its self absorbed to think this way, but its also natural I guess, but my mind is spiralling out of control thinking of all the ways I couldve let her down or said the wrong fucking things or some shit to her. Like I couldve prevented this, but how the hell do I know to help when she doesnt reach out to me for help.

[Amarok]

I'm guessing she committed suicide? I'm sort of confused. This isn't your daughter's mother right?

Anyway, my cousin OD'd a couple of years ago and I thought I would never get over it, but time really does heal all wounds.

[Chumbelina]

We can talk about it if you'd like. I'm up late writing a term paper so I don't see myself going to bed anytime soon. Hit up my AIM bro.

[Carbon]

We can talk about it if you'd like. I'm up late writing a term paper so I don't see myself going to bed anytime soon. Hit up my AIM bro.

lol me too

[Metah]

I'm really sorry. I'll give a prayer tonight for you and her.

[Chumbelina]

Suicide just seems to be a big mystery. The common reason for it is that the person wanted some form of attention, but I don't understand how they can achieve satisfaction from it because they're not around to receive the attention. Then of course it causes alot of heartache and stress on the person's friends and relatives because they think that they could have prevented it if only they knew what was going on. And that's pretty much the jist of it. I'll never understand suicide, but time will heal. Four years is going to leave a pretty big scar though.

[Kwijiboe]

You need time. Also, I'd advise you to talk to real friends, family. Like self diagnosing yourself on the internet, coping with a problem via the internet is not the best course of action.

Don't withhold your emotions, but at the same time, step outside yourself and realize your situation: It's a long way down, you should keep your head up.

[Carbon]

Oh, damn bro. That really sucks. You have my best wishes, though, in pulling through this.

[Huggo]

A few years ago, a very good friend of mine died in a car accident on the freeway. We weren't romantically involved, just good friends who had a few classes together in high school. I remember calling her a few times over the summer. Talking about the future, what we wanted to do with our lives, so on so forth.

Then all of a sudden it came out of nowhere. The summer ended and I went off to college, she started her senior year in high school. It wasn't that many months after the last time I had talked to her on the phone that I heard the bad news from a friend of a friend of a friend etc.

I cried for hours when I heard about it. Losing someone who's close to you is always really hard. But it's important for you to remain strong. But yes, the pain and anger will phase out eventually. It'll hurt and suck for a while, but things will get better. Just look at it this way: This kinda thing breaks your heart. Just remember to keep the cast on it until it mends on its own terms. Sounds corny and stupid, yes. But it's pretty true, from my own experiences.

What really helped me is remembering what was important to her and living up to it. Example: When we talked on the phone that last time before she died, we talked about college and stuff and she had said that "time is of the essence" and so on. She wanted to make sure I worked my ass off in school and did well to have a good life when I got out. Well, I'm trying to work on that. It's one of the parts of her I chose to keep alive and keep with me. Does this girl have anything important you can hold onto to help better yourself? If there is, I'd suggest you look into it and try your best at it. Keep your chin up, it's not always gonna suck and things will get better, I promise.

[Chumbelina]

You need time. Also, I'd advise you to talk to real friends, family. Like self diagnosing yourself on the internet, coping with a problem via the internet is not the best course of action.

Don't withhold your emotions, but at the same time, step outside yourself and realize your situation: It's a long way down, you should keep your head up.

I agree with him. tonight is fine about talking with us and all. But after that, tomorrow, talk to real people about it. I'm not saying that we're not real people and I could totally understand how this is an easy way for instant gratification when you need someone to turn to and I feel glad that you would hold us in such a high regard. Really though, just talk to your friends, her friends and all. Also, going out to Alaska to visit her family is probably one of the best things that you could do for yourself emotionally.

I just don't want to see some random asshole take a potshot at you and even do something totally uncalled for (emo myspace suicide, etc.) So please read at your own risk. May God bless you man. This is, indeed, a terrible loss.

What really helped me is remembering what was important to her and living up to it. Example: When we talked on the phone that last time before she died, we talked about college and stuff and she had said that "time is of the essence" and so on. She wanted to make sure I worked my ass off in school and did well to have a good life when I got out. Well, I'm trying to work on that. It's one of the parts of her I chose to keep alive and keep with me. Does this girl have anything important you can hold onto to help better yourself? If there is, I'd suggest you look into it and try your best at it. Keep your chin up, it's not always gonna suck and things will get better, I promise.

Also agreed. Think of her as watching you live the rest of your life. Think of how she'd want you to live on and be happy and be the best dad/dj/whatever that you could ever be. Remember things that she once told you and use them to make yourself stronger.

[Ace-o-fire]

Hookers solve the problem.

[Chumbelina]

Hookers solve the problem.

Oh go to hell.

[Jerseyprophet]

Shit is just surreal man, anyone who commits suicide hurts so many fucking people around them - its the most selfish action she couldve taken.

No, not my kids mom Amarok. But she was really close, an ex.

[Boyiee]

You need time. Also, I'd advise you to talk to real friends, family. Like self diagnosing yourself on the internet, coping with a problem via the internet is not the best course of action.

Don't withhold your emotions, but at the same time, step outside yourself and realize your situation: It's a long way down, you should keep your head up.

I agree with him. tonight is fine about talking iwth us and all. But after that, tomorrow, talk to real people about it. I'm not saying that we're not real people and I could totally understand how this is an easy way for instant gratification when you need someone to turn to and I feel glad that you would hold us in such a high regard. Really though, just talk to your friends, her friends and all. Also, going out to Alaska to visit her family is probably one of the best things that you could do for yourself emotionally.

I just don't want to see some random asshole take a potshot at you and even do something totally uncalled for (emo myspace suicide, etc.) So please read at your own risk. May God bless you man. This is, indeed, a terrible loss.

I'm sorry jp, and i agree with the above posters. It's a bad idea to keep everything on the inside, talk to people. Find your friends, even some you may not have talked to for a while. The pain does ease up overtime, that's no lie. Time and friends/family is the only healer, and it's what you need right now.

[Lockecole]

Is that all that she left you? You've talked to her family and they've said nothing? Just seems very strange, usually there's some signs before someone does something like this. You can't be sure its suicide really, she could just mean love was just a word to her, and she had to leave. Don't assume the worst, even though someone leaving you is bad, at least she's still alive. Keep positive, this is life and you're living it. Try and make the most of it, because its the only path we have.

[Axil]

Shit is just surreal man, anyone who commits suicide hurts so many fucking people around them - its the most selfish action she couldve taken.

No, not my kids mom Amarok. But she was really close, an ex.

One day youll realise it isnt, and then you will feel better. trust me