you know those days when you wake up...

[Zigma]

and you don't want to do shit, but gotta do shit?


yeah...

[Xavier]

well shit

[burrito]

Isn't that just about every day?

[Blackice]

That's exactly what I was thinking, unlessing it was a Saturday when you want to sleep in but actually have the odd occasion when you have shit to do in the morning.

[Saga]

anyone else's mind go straight to that Limp Bizkit song?




...it was a phase. >_>

[Charitwo]

Isn't that just about every day?

Exactly what I was thinking.

[Vertabreaker]

I have to shit right now at work but the bathroom is closed for cleaning

[Unklemonkey]

I have to shit right now at work but the bathroom is closed for cleaning

The answer here is to start rioting

[Vertabreaker]

I have to shit right now at work but the bathroom is closed for cleaning

The answer here is to start rioting

1 of 2 things are about to happen.

1. I'm going to shit my pants
2. I'm going to murder the cleaning person....then shit my pants

[Synergy1]

fuck them shit on the floor infront of the bathroom that will teach them!

[Septimus]

Why am I reminded of the episode of South Park with the deus in the urinal?

[Misterjingles]

fuck them shit on the floor infront of the bathroom that will teach them!

That kinda reminds me of a story that my friend told me:

So during a visit to Las Vegas, my friend decides to go to an "all you can eat" buffet for $10, he sees on the buffet table "fresh shrimp" so he starts chowing down. After eating 4-5 platefuls of shrimp he begins to realize, how can you get "fresh" shrimp if you're in the middle of the desert? And with that realization, the feeling hit him...in the back of the pants. So he rushes towards the bathroom, and if you recall the scene in American pie, he needs to cover the toilet, but time is running out fast and this isn't the type of poo that sticks out like a turtle head and goes back in because it was shy, oh no, it was diarrhea. So he just goes "Fuck it" and bends over the toilet and lets loose, from the expression from his face when he told the story, it must have been better than sex, or shitting in your pants. So when he was done, he turns around and sees, that an explosion of shit had just happened, there was shit on the walls, the toilet, and floor. So he calmly wipes, gets out, and goes to the sink to wash his hands. Right as he grabs soap from the dispenser, a janitor comes in and opens the stall that my friend was just in. Since my friend is fluent in 3 languages, he translates what the janitor said as "HOLY FUCKING MOTHER OF GOD" and the janitor walks up to him and goes in broken english "Deed u du dis?" and shows my friend the shitplosion that he had created, my friend calmly replies "No" and walks out with the lesson learned: "be wary of fresh seafood in the middle of the desert"

[Vertabreaker]

fuck them shit on the floor infront of the bathroom that will teach them!

That kinda reminds me of a story that my friend told me:

So during a visit to Las Vegas, my friend decides to go to an "all you can eat" buffet for $10, he sees on the buffet table "fresh shrimp" so he starts chowing down. After eating 4-5 platefuls of shrimp he begins to realize, how can you get "fresh" shrimp if you're in the middle of the desert? And with that realization, the feeling hit him...in the back of the pants. So he rushes towards the bathroom, and if you recall the scene in American pie, he needs to cover the toilet, but time is running out fast and this isn't the type of poo that sticks out like a turtle head and goes back in because it was shy, oh no, it was diarrhea. So he just goes "Fuck it" and bends over the toilet and lets loose, from the expression from his face when he told the story, it must have been better than sex, or shitting in your pants. So when he was done, he turns around and sees, that an explosion of shit had just happened, there was shit on the walls, the toilet, and floor. So he calmly wipes, gets out, and goes to the sink to wash his hands. Right as he grabs soap from the dispenser, a janitor comes in and opens the stall that my friend was just in. Since my friend is fluent in 3 languages, he translates what the janitor said as "HOLY FUCKING MOTHER OF GOD" and the janitor walks up to him and goes in broken english "Deed u du dis?" and shows my friend the shitplosion that he had created, my friend calmly replies "No" and walks out with the lesson learned: "be wary of fresh seafood in the middle of the desert"

HAHAHAHA. That's awsome in so many ways and it reminds me of a story similar to that.

My old roommate Max and I got a call from two of our good buddys from college and they wanted to get together and just shoot the shit. So we all decided we'd go to China Buffet for dinner. So we all pay and head to the buffet and we're chowing down. We probably ate a good 2+ plate fulls each. So we're all done and I look at Max and he's got the "5 year old holding his butt ready to shit himself" look. So we all head outside and get ready to leave when our 2 buddys start bringing up stupid shit we did in college. I totally forget about Max having to shit so I'm getting into the conversation and we're all laughing. That's when I see Max start to squirm a bit. He looks at me and says, "Yo, we ready to roll yet? If not, I'm going to shit myself" We only lived about 5 min from the buffet so I asked if he could hold it until we got to our apartment.

That's about when he grabbed his butt and took off back into the buffet.

About 10-15min go by, he comes walking out with a huge smile on his face. I look behind him through the window to see 3 of the waitresses holding their noses(the bathroom was right back near the counter) and they each had the "Dear god what came out of your ass?" look on their faces.

So we hung around for a bit to see if anyone would go into the bathroom to examine the damage...and sure as shit, that's when one of the chefs who was in the bathroom the same time Max was, runs out like he was on fire straight to the garbage and fucking PUKES into the garbage. I almost pissed myself I was laughing so hard. Thank god we only lived 5min away because I sure as hell wasn't going to go in there after seeing that.

[Daahan]

You pretty much describe the life story of all sane human beings.

[Heian]

and you don't want to do shit, but gotta do shit?


yeah...

Shit or get off the pot kid.

Some great stories too. Here is mine. Has an intro though.

Last Fall my roommate and I had out first party at our apartment right after midterms and his best friend Matt comes over. About ten of us at the party all having a good time, went through about three 30 racks in a hour and a half. Matt has been up all day from midterms so after a couple games of Beirut he passes out on the couch with a beer in his hand.

Next afternoon he is laying on the floor of my living room with all my cushions on the floor, and wet. He gets up and looks at me and says "I must have spilled my beer after I passed out" which I would have believed if it was one or two cushions, but he soaked eight out of nine. I agreed with him to save face, and he never admited to pissing all over the couch which I slept on 90% of the time.

Skip forward to the spring its my roommates 21st birthday and he goes out with Matt for the night to celebrate, I had midterms so I was at the apartment. My roomate comes back the next afternoon, and I have to buzz him in but Maat is with him and my roommate is wearing some Tufts rugby shorts and a T shirt (Matt plays rugby for Tufts) which he obviously wasn't wearign the night before. He is also holding a large black trash bag filled with something and before the smell hit me, Matt says to me "Hey remember that time I pissed all over your couch, well Dan got me back, he shit all over my apartment...." Then the smell of the most terrible Jaegershits hits me. Dan was so drunk he shit in Matt's living room on the floor, stepped in it, trailed it into the kitchen, bathroom and even got some on a doorknob.

The smell from the bag was so bad, I had to leave the apartment it smelled so bad, but I thought it was funny as shit.

[Artful Dodger]

anyone else's mind go straight to that Limp Bizkit song?




...it was a phase. >_>

thank christ that phase is over

[Cjskater]

Lately I've been thinking about Pretty Fly for a White Guy for some reason lol. damn phases

[Koga]

Why am I reminded of the episode of South Park with the deus in the urinal?

This is Serious Kids! Now who left the Chocolate Hotdog in the Urinal mmk?

[Sonomaa]

its always shitty when the rare day you have to go into work super early and are short staff directly follows one of the worst days of your life

[Scythiroth]

Every single day of my life has been worse than the day before it. So that means that every single day that you see me, that's on the worst day of my life.