Originally Posted by
miokomioko
Coincidentally, I'm in this same exact situation, but change that 1.5 years into 7 years... shittiest time ever really.
On one side, you want to respect her wishes and show her you trust her by giving her space and not suffocating her. On the other side, you want to show her that you won't give up and all you want to do is make her happy and all that by reminding her of everything that was awesome between you two. It's seriously the hardest thing I've ever had to deal with in my life.
Discussions and excitement about marraige, moving across country together, children, futures, careers over the course of 6+ years and all that just seems much too big to nullify in the course of a week over a stupid argument. I have had a lot of deep, sometimes slightly inebriated heart-to-hearts with a lot of friends lately, which has really helped the way I feel on a daily basis.
I know my own situation has a bit to do with a scary transition of her graduating from college and going into a real career and financial situations coupled with a lot of the underlying problems in a relationship that we usually just gloss over and forget about because we live 300 miles apart and when we visit eachother, we don't want to ruin our good times with bad topics. Things just built up.
Just imagine a having a girlfriend with whom you're all obnoxious and "lovey dovey" with for 6 years straight and talk to 2-3 times every day and everything is so fun all the time and then bam, your phonecalls, text messages, and emails are all completely ignored because she "needs some space to figure out what she wants and needs."
One can't help but pour so much effort into trying to repair such a thing. But it's so painful when the one you want to repair things with doesn't want the attention, just time to herself. I can semi-understand it in my case because we've literally been together since highschool so she's never been single and been able to make decisions about her life that didn't factor anyone else in. A break for being selfish basically. In such a long relationship (even 1.5 years is decently long) you start to base everything you do, buy, eat, wear, et cetera based on your partner's tastes. Coming to that realization that you're not doing anything for yourself anymore is a scary situation for most. For me, I like the idea. Perhaps I've grown slightly codependant over the years, but I get enjoyment out of making decisions and progressing and putting in work for a specific goal in life, especially one that involves a smart, awesome, and beautiful woman whom I share seven years of the best memories of my young adult life.