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  1. #1
    the whitest knight u' know
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    I pushed an old man down some stairs.

    Not even joking. Hahaha... Anyhow, here's a little situation that happened to me today and I'm finding myself wondering what might come of this because it was really odd and unlike me in the first place, and while I think I'm legally safe, who knows what mess I'll end up in. Let me know what you think and/or whether I was in the wrong/right/etc. Here's the semi-interesting story of the day:

    (Foreword, I live in Santa Barbara at the moment, notorious for rich people, old people, and tourists... or rich old tourists, the place is so fucking pretentious it makes me shit blood.)

    So... I'm driving to one of my college campuses with my girlfriend in the passenger seat and my roomate riding right-wing. We are headed to register for our next classes, same 'ol shit. There happened to be a crappy paperback bible in the back of my car that had been randomly given to my girlfriend the previous day by some crazy bum on the street. I don't know why it was still in there, to be honest. On the drive, my roomate started reading it and joking around about it, making fun of it because he's that type of dude. As I'm pulling up to a stop sign in the left-turn-lane, there's a tourist trolly-bus thing stopping to continue straight... It's a tourist sight-seeing bus that is designed like a San Francisco trolly with the open sides and rails and all, pretty lame. My roomate's name is Justin and my girlfriend's name is Krystal for future reference.

    Justin: Should I give some old tourist bitch this bible?
    Krystal: Do it.
    Justin: Here, I'll toss it to one of them.
    Me: Are you serious...?
    (We pull up next to the tourist bus full of white-haired old women.)
    Justin: HEY. JESUS LOVES YOU.
    (Justin underhand-lobs the book towards the open area of the trolly but misses by entirely too short and the book skids on the asphault.)
    (We chuckle because it was stupid thing to do and he completely failed.)

    As I'm turning left from the stop sign, I notice the vehicle behind me (brand new Land Rover LR3) that should have been waiting his turn since other people were waiting at the intersection, was tailgating me, following right behind me through the intersection with his headlights flashing. I thought I was just seeing things or perhaps I was lagging at the stop sign due to Justin's stupid bible-tossing antics, and irritated the impatient driver behind me. I shrug it off and continue driving up the street into the hills towards my school. He continues to tailgate, hard.

    I continue up the hill some more and he begins to ease off and fall behind a bit. I signal, take a left, and continue up the windy road and he takes a left too. I speed up because I'm familiar with the road and he starts to fall behind a bit so I assumed he was just headed somewhere and was bitching about the length of time I was at that stop sign back there. On the straight-away before the right into my campus, he catches up and follows me through the gates. It is obvious he's following me now.

    His car is rather tinted but I can make out the shape of his bright white hair, moustache, and cellphone on his ear as he tailgates me all the way up the driveway to the parking lot of my school. I start getting really irritated that some dude is apparently chasing me because my roomate lobbed a paperback bible onto the street 2 miles back. I get into the parking lot of my campus, take a u-turn and head back towards the entrance, he follows. I take another U-turn to fuck around with him and see how long he follows me around in a circle.

    I misjudged the narrowness of the road and had to 3-point turn to get that 2nd U-turn complete. After I reversed, stopped, and was about to go again, he zips up uncomfortably fast behind me as if trying to block me in somehow. I was already to move forward, but he comes within 3-4 inches of hitting my car. I was irrate. I floor it through the parking lot and go all the way around back of the campus and park in a lower back lot where you have to climb a good 20-25-steps of concrete stairs up a grass hill to get to the building entrance.

    Justin, trying to get the old crazy dude to follow him because he was the one who tossed the book, gets out of my car right away and runs up the stairs full-throttle, mostly to be funny. Krystal meanders up the stairs at her own leisure while I'm not really amused with this fucking douchebag's antics and am ready for some confrontation where he yells at me for my roomate tossing a book on the road. I start walking from my car to the stairs and this fucker zooms up, almost hits me, and stops right in front of me, trying to block my car in its parking space (no car was in front of me so I wasn't blocked in).

    I simply walked around his car and continued up the stairs without looking at him. A few steps up, he rushes up besides me, storming up the stairs at my pace, staring at me with some angry, red, old-man face, seething with fury over who-the-fuck-knows-what. I look at him, smiling a bit like a smart-ass.

    Me: 'Sup?
    Old: Yeah, we'll see what's up when I talk to your faculty.
    Me: Haha... I don't care who you talk to. I didn't do anything, so good luck with that.
    Old: No, I saw you throw a book at some innocent person.
    Me: No, you didn't because that wasn't me, go find him if you want to yell at someone.
    Old: You are the owner of that vehicle, you are entirely responsible for what happened.
    Me: Pff... whatever. Have fun with talking to whoever.
    Old: Yeah, I will.

    Then, get this.... He fucking hits me.

    This wasn't a punch in the face or anything, it was kinda' weird and an obvious sign of his flustered rage of unknown origins. It was like a hybrid combo of a punch to the shoulder and a hockey-style body check. He hits me to the side as hard as he can out of fucking nowhere. Out of the blue without me even instigating, I was just trying to walk up the stairs to go register for class, I was avoiding a confrontation with this nut.

    So here I am getting knocked off to the side of this steep set of sketchy concrete stairs onto wet grass that I stumbled but somehow managed to not fall down onto. However, as I'm standing there for a half of a split second in utter shock that this old dude had the fucking nerve to assault me like that I realized I was getting nailed by a sprinkler in the lawn. It sprays me across the ass of my overpriced jeans and we meet eyes and I know for fucking sure he regretted what he did because the second my pissed off ass took a step towards that motherfucker, he turned his back to me to run back down.

    We were a good 1/2 or 3/5 of the way up the set of stairs and I had the instant urge to toss that piece of shit tumbling back down from where he stood. I took a few leaping steps at him and he turned his back and tried to run away as I pushed him as hard as I fucking could. He tried to run down a bunch of steps to compensate for getting pushed but lost his balance and from about the 3rd or 4th step up from the ground, he ate shit... so... hard. He fell straight down to his hands/elbows/knees, completely layed out, skid across the ground a bit. I instantly felt a little guilty for how hard he hit the ground and worried that he broke something, but that subsided as I realized he was blatently and spontaneously starting shit with me... OVER WHAT?

    I stood on the stairs above him still, like some type of cliche badass pose, with my fists still clenched out of anger, I called him a piece of shit and told him to get the fuck out of here. I look over to the side, 3 feet away from where he hit the ground and two girls, students, were standing there and saw the whole thing unfold. I ignored their presence and began walking up the stairs to go register for class like I came there to do. I look up and Krystal is standing there at the top and had seen the whole thing too, in awe at the fact that he attacked me, then in awe that he managed to pissed me off enough to toss his ass down the stairs. I'm very much a pacificst and anti-confrontational so this is way out of character for me, but apparently I don't take shit, I guess I learned that about myself.

    Krystal: What the fuck just happened?
    Me: I guess that old douche decided it was time to hit me instead of argue with me.
    Krystal: Wow. . .
    (We approach the entrance to our school and stand where there's a line of students for registration.)
    (I look back to find the old guy approaching me again, this time limping)
    Me: What did you learn? Are you going to try and hit me again, pal?
    Old: No, not anymore.

    The old fucker pushes his way through the lines of students, limping and nudging his way into the entrance. Turns out, he wandered around campus until he found a receptionist (of all people) to tell her what happened. He told her he was pressing charges and claimed that the book he was holding was the one we threw at some innocent bystanders down the road (impossibly considering he was tailgating me down the street while the actual little paperback bible was on the ground under a bus). She was obligated to contact campus security and now I have to file a report with them about what happened, as do my two companions.

    I'm sure I'll be getting a call and/or a visit from the police any day now and I am just waiting to hear about this old guy's story about how I was killing tourists by clobbering them with 50-lb. dictionaries and ambushed him by throwing him down some stairs. I am imagining if he told the true story in its entirety, the police would laugh at him and inform him that a) he blatently provoked me while I was being non-violent and b) he hit me first.

    I mean... what the fuck was he thinking? I didn't give a shit if he spoke to some random school counselor there for registration that someone threw a book on the road out of the back seat of my car. I was prepared to... not deal with anything and just have him go away after he realized he was wasting his time following me to my school in some obscure locale in the hills over a lobbed (and missed) book. So, he flipped his wig and attacked me with no warning.

    I fucking hate old people and I fucking hate Santa Barbara.

    (P.S. I'm not really looking for legal advice because BG is not the place for that, but I've never gotten in any kind of scuffle like this before. As I said, I'm pretty anti-confrontational, so I've never been in an incident of this calibur though I'm sure some of you have and might have had to deal with police and threats of battery/assault charges or something of the like. I'm just totally unfamiliar with this type of thing and I'm curious about what other people think of the outcome, heh...)

  2. #2
    Sea Torques
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    Re: I pushed an old man down some stairs.

    lost his balance and from about the 3rd or 4th step up from the ground, he ate shit... so... hard
    Can't stop laughing. Thanks for that

  3. #3
    Bagel
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    Re: I pushed an old man down some stairs.

    :D That story made my Morning.

  4. #4
    Relic Shield
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    Re: I pushed an old man down some stairs.

    Did his license plate say "Fresh"?

  5. #5
    Like a boss yo
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    Re: I pushed an old man down some stairs.

    Bet It had dice In the mirror

  6. #6
    Relic Shield
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    Re: I pushed an old man down some stairs.

    I almost wish you did a flying kick at him. But good for you. You're young, he's old. ITS OUR WORLD NOW POPS

  7. #7
    Little Mother
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    Re: I pushed an old man down some stairs.

    You totally should have been higher up on the stairs and did a drop kick to his lower back to punt him down those stairs, the old bastard.

    Either way, good story! I lol'ed hard.

  8. #8

    Re: I pushed an old man down some stairs.

    You'll be fine. He hit you first, you have corroborating witness' that he tailgated you way out of where he ever should have been in order to initiate this confrontation. You could sue him for harassment and assault if you wanted to.

  9. #9

    Re: I pushed an old man down some stairs.

    Quote Originally Posted by Skyylya
    You'll be fine. He hit you first, you have corroborating witness' that he tailgated you way out of where he ever should have been in order to initiate this confrontation. You could sue him for harassment and assault if you wanted to.
    Even though he hit him first, there is a certain increase in degree to his retaliation, and the age old "eye for an eye" don't mean shit if his injuries (which he may have) are greater than yours, from self-defense to assault is a thin line... Personally I would have walked out myself, since pushing/fighting back did get me in trouble when I was younger since I did go the "self-defense into assault mode" on the person. Just for your sake, hopefully your school officials will not take any action against you, since technically you were involved in an altercation on campus and some unversities/colleges are strict about these things (I know they are in Florida-also depends on the person, ya know..that old guy could be a contributor of that school which = big shit for you). I guess in time you eventually learn is just better to walk away than to retaliate, but I guess that kind of knowledge does come from getting older/and/or learning the hard way like some of us have already.

  10. #10
    Relic Shield
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    Re: I pushed an old man down some stairs.

    SUE SUE SUE SUE!

  11. #11
    The Mizzle Fizzle of Nikkei's Haremizzle

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    Re: I pushed an old man down some stairs.

    LOL Nice.

  12. #12

    Re: I pushed an old man down some stairs.

    Quote Originally Posted by Ikith
    SUE SUE SUE SUE!
    Mioko could have sued, had ne not pushed that is, now he could stand to be sued..it sucks, but the reality of the courts these days sucks and to much frivolous suits occur.

  13. #13
    Relic Horn
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    Re: I pushed an old man down some stairs.

    Throwing shit out of your car pisses someone off, imagine that.

  14. #14
    WASTE OF CURRENCY
    I CAN'T I CAN'T I CAN'T

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    Re: I pushed an old man down some stairs.

    So, this guy just took it upon himself to protect the innocent people on the train?

    WHAT AN HERO!!!!!!!!!!!!

  15. #15
    Chram
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    Re: I pushed an old man down some stairs.

    Self Defense. Put on a crappy pair of jeans and fall down on some steps and take pics of the red marks.

    BTW the old man was so hysterical from assaulting you, he ran down the stairs and his geiser ass stumbled and took him the rest of the way down. At most one of the deans will call you in and ask whats up. Whats the old man gonna say when a judge asks what he was even doing on campus anyways?

  16. #16

    Re: I pushed an old man down some stairs.

    Quote Originally Posted by othellojr
    Quote Originally Posted by Skyylya
    You'll be fine. He hit you first, you have corroborating witness' that he tailgated you way out of where he ever should have been in order to initiate this confrontation. You could sue him for harassment and assault if you wanted to.
    Even though he hit him first, there is a certain increase in degree to his retaliation, and the age old "eye for an eye" don't mean shit if his injuries (which he may have) are greater than yours, from self-defense to assault is a thin line... Personally I would have laid his ass out myself, but that did get me in trouble when I was younger since I did go the "self-defense into assault mode" on the person. Just for your sake, hopefully your school officials will not take any action against you, since technically you were involved in an altercation on campus and some unversities/colleges are strict about these things (I know they are in Florida-also depends on the person, ya know..that old guy could be a contributor of that school which = big shit for you). I guess in time you eventually learn is just better to walk away than to retaliate, but I guess that kind of knowledge does come from getting older/and/or learning the hard way like some of us have already.
    I agree with you that it's a very fine line. I just think that because mio has witness' that can attest to the fact that this old guy clearly went out of his way to confront and assault him puts him in the clear. it's not like he pummeled the guy, he pushed him away after being assaulted because he was afraid of getting hit again and getting his overpriced jeans wet.

    Not only that but mio isn't even the one who did what the guy was accusing him of. The ONLY thing mio is guilty of is being responsible for someone throwing an object out of his car which would warrant a ticket/small fine at best. But that still doesn't give the old guy cause to follow him 2+ miles out of his way to confront/assault him.

    Just make sure your gf or whoever those chicks were that saw the whole thing are clear about what they saw and dont' mis-construe it in his favor saying that all they saw was you pushing an old man down the stairs since they didn't really know what lead up to it.

  17. #17
    Relic Horn
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    Re: I pushed an old man down some stairs.

    Quote Originally Posted by Krystl
    Self Defense. Put on a crappy pair of jeans and fall down on some steps and take pics of the red marks.

    BTW the old man was so hysterical from assaulting you, he ran down the stairs and his geiser ass stumbled and took him the rest of the way down. At most one of the deans will call you in and ask whats up. Whats the old man gonna say when a judge asks what he was even doing on campus anyways?
    Yeah, I'm sure there was no reason for an older man to be on campus.

    -Employment
    -Extended education
    -Relatives
    -Public facilities
    -Sports, plays, concerts
    -Public meetings, political gatherings, clubs, etc

  18. #18
    New Spam Forum
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    Re: I pushed an old man down some stairs.

    That's weird just yesterday some jerk pushed my grandfather down a flight of stai.... hey wait a minute....

  19. #19
    Packin more heat than spicy
    8=====>

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    Re: I pushed an old man down some stairs.

    rofl good story, dont forget to post updates :D

  20. #20

    Re: I pushed an old man down some stairs.

    Heh, good story.

    In my opinion the self-defense plea won't work. He fled after he hit you (like a coward) and at that point he was in a WAY vulnerable position to get seriously injured, or even killed.

    What I would have done if the guy was tailgating/following me is call the police and say some crazy guy is following you dangerously and that you are threatened.

    If the guy tries to sue you, counter-sue him for hitting you, and mentally traumatizing you. Have your friends also throw in two more suits for the same thing if he won't back off.

    In the end, I wouldn't have let this guy block me in in my parking space. I would have tried to lose him or call the police saying the guy is following you dangerously.

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