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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Aug 2004
    BG Level
    FFXIV Character
    Septimus Atumre
    FFXIV Server
    FFXI Server

    It's the Second Most Wonderful Time of the Year- 11.30.2008 Septimus

    The turkey sandwiches are all eaten and the halls are in some state of being decked. But the anticipation is in the air for all of the goodies that are just around the corner.

    What, you thought I was talking about Christmas? No, I'm talking about Fan-Fest and the December version update. And to help this month (because would have taken me entirely too long to write out the idea I came up with at the last minute) is a very special poem written by Aerides.

    'Twas the night before an Update, when all through the Linkshell,
    Not a member was wiggling, not even a Rocl;

    The Gobbie Bags were hung by the moogles with care,
    In hopes that St. Septimus soon would be there; (only Nickolias hoped it would be St. Nicholas, wrong poem).

    Aerides was nestled in her Royal Bed (Ceiyne on the couch),

    While visions of sugar-plums danced in Nirokun's head (ok really that's all year long)

    And Sendoh played his Gjallarhorn to sing Korea to sleep,

    Ragnhild settled down for a review of Khelek's parse results,
    When out in the forums Maxxan was annoying people,

    Xavier sprang from Nikkei's mog house to see who to ban,
    And shield bashed through the window with his Aegis,

    Sonomaa rampaged the shutters and threw up the LOLsash.

    The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow,
    Made Alleya stare at his breasts and stop reading my poem,

    When, what to Ryphen's wyvern's eyes should appear,
    But a miniature airship, and eight tiny tarutaru,

    With a smirking driver, so sarcastic and snide,

    Kazen (in spite of his low elvaan INT), knew in a moment it must be St. Sept.

    More rapid than pos-hacking-RMT his taru they came,

    And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name;

    "Now, Mongomong! now, Tsukasaz! now, Epical and Marius!

    On, Toecutter! on Curtis! on, Fryte and Sobius!
    (ok so that last one's not a taru but he rhymes with Marius!)

    To the top of the Auction House! to the top of the Coliseum!

    Now /flee away! /flee away! /flee away all!"

    As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane flies by Tearshang's house for the 8th time,

    When they meet with an obstacle, they gleefully throw some Ridills on that shit.

    So 100 floors up Nyzul the Taru they flew,
    With the placebo-effect TH4 on loaner from Shiznicle, and St. Septimus too.

    And then, wishful thinking, Avvesione thought he heard mithras on the roof,
    The prancing and pawing of each little hoof.

    Kiara prepared to claim, and was turning around,

    Down the chimney St. Septimus sashayed with a bound.

    He was dressed all in crimson leather, from his head to his foot,

    Flanked by his Galka: Atumre, Barada, and Gorion (no I won't tell you what they were wearing),

    A bundle of new weapons he had flung on his back,
    And he looked as happy as a Blazer right after blazering a lot!!!!!

    His eyes -- how they twinkled! Like Vishodian's girlfriend/fiance's new ring!

    His cheeks were like the roses of Death Blossom!

    His droll little mouth was pouting in perpetual disappointment

    And his hair was amazingly longer than a girl's;

    The stump of a pipe he had “borrowed” from Gizmosan,

    And the smoke it encircled his head like a shroud of disdain;

    Grneko started to greet him, but Kuno exclaimed: “Shut up GR”,

    Soon gave me to know I had plenty to dread;

    He spoke not a word, but went straight for the tea and biscuits Popeh had prepared,
    Giving everyone Mythics (except Slone, who has them all already),
    And laying his finger aside of his nose,

    And giving a nod, up the chimney he rose;

    He sprang to his Airship; Drewbixcube gave him hunter's roll and busted,

    And away they all flew like the down of a thistle.

    But I heard him exclaim, ere he sashayed out of sight,

    "Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good Fan-fest!"

    Stuff we did


    Dynamis - Bastok

    Dynamis - Tavnazia

    Gulool Ja Ja




    Stuff we got

    Congratulations to Aerides for Sorcerer's Gloves, Summoner's Bracers, Hydra Bracers, and Mirror Tiara.

    Congratulations to Avvesione for Commodore Frac.

    Congratulations to Blazer for Shadow Trews and Warrior's Mask.

    Congratulations to Ceiyne for Bard's Cuffs, Warrior's Cuisses, Warrior's Lorica, Melee Cyclas, and Bard's Justaucorps.

    Congratulations to Curtis for Abyss Cuirass and Melee Cyclas.

    Congratulations to Drewbixcube for Saotome Domaru, Saotome Haidate, Nimue's Tights, Wyrm Brais, Supremacy Earring.

    Congratulations to Epical for Saotome Kote, and Novia Earring.

    Congratulations to Gizmosan for Dalmatica.

    Congratulations to Gorion for Scouts Jerkin, Saotome Haidate, Assassin's Bonnet, Assassin's Vest, Monster Helm +1, and Abyss Gauntlets. Congratulations to Kassius for Cleric's Duckbills.

    Congratulations to Grneko for Melee Gaiters, Valor Coronet, and Sorcerer's Tonban. Congratulations to Grneko's Mannequin for Koenig Cuirass until he gets his lazy ass to 75 PLD.

    Congratulations to Kazen for Valhalla Helm, Melee Cyclas, and Usukane Sune-Ate.

    Congratulations to Khelek for Melee Gaiters, Warrior's Cuisses, and Sparth.

    Congratulations to Kiara for Duelists Chapeau and Melee Cyclas.

    Congratulations to Korea for Homam Cosciales, Commodore Tricorne, Commodore Frac, Mirage Charuqs, and Pantin Dastanas.

    Congratulations to Kuno for Morrigan's Cuffs, Abyss Cuirass, and Wyrm Brais.

    Congratulations to Marius for Homam Zucchetto, Sorcerer's Petasos, and Scout's Socks completing full Scout's Relic Attire.

    Congratulations to Maxxan for Homam Zucchetto and Nimue's Tights.

    Congratulations to Nickolias for Melee Crown, Homam Cosciales, Melee Cyclas, Mirage Jubbah, Shadow Clogs, and Duelists Gloves.

    Congratulations to Nirokun for Novio Earring.

    Congratulations to Ragnhild for Melee Gaiters and Melee Cyclas.

    Congratulations to Rocl for Mirage Keffiyeh and Hydra Doublet.

    Congratulations to Ryphen for Monster Jackcoat, Assassin's Vest, Warrior's Lorica, Koenig Cuirass and Wyrm Brais +1.

    Congratulations to Septimus's Mannequin for Homam Manopolas. Congratulations to Atumre for Homam Cosciales, Gnadbhod's Helm, and Llywd's Clogs.

    Congratulations to Shiznicle for Warrior's Cuisses and Abyss Gauntlets.

    Congratulations to Sobius for Abyss Gauntlets.

    Congratulations to Sonomaa for Monster Gloves and Melee Cyclas.

    Congratulations to Tearshang for Summoner's Spats. Congratulations to Renko for Cleric's Briault.

    Congratulations to Toecutter for Monster Jackcoat.

    Congratulations to Tsukasaz for Wyrm Mail.

    Congratulations to Vishodhan for Bard's Justaucorps, Shadow Clogs, and Warrior's Cuisses +1.

    And whose gibblets had the most gravey to be crowned the November Loot Whore of the Month?

    FRYTE! Congratulations for Valor Coronet, Adaman Hauberk, Hecatomb Cap, and Commodore Bottes.

    So see you next month where we will discuss our sacks full of goodies, sticky candy canes, fruit cakes, and other holiday-based double entendres.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    BG Level
    FFXI Server
    WoW Realm

    I'll be waiting for Sept to deliver me from boredom when posted!

  3. #3
    E. Body
    Join Date
    Nov 2006
    BG Level
    WoW Realm

    ...way to be a tease.

  4. #4
    Relic Horn
    Join Date
    Jun 2007
    BG Level
    FFXI Server
    WoW Realm

    The turkey is a lie?

  5. #5

    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    BG Level

    D: that got my hopes up..

    edit: its up now :3 thank you~

  6. #6
    Official THE Alpha and Omega

    Join Date
    Sep 2004
    BG Level
    FFXI Server

  7. #7
    A. Body
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
    BG Level
    FFXI Server

    aaaw. no salvage duping jokes.

  8. #8
    Relic Horn
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    BG Level
    FFXI Server

    I demand a complementary blowjob.

Similar Threads

  1. It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year- 10.31.2008 Septimus
    By Septimus in forum BG Forum News and Events
    Replies: 18
    Last Post: 2008-11-18, 15:05