Page 1 of 2 1 2 LastLast
Results 1 to 20 of 22
  1. #1
    The God Damn Kuno
    Join Date
    Dec 2004
    Posts
    13,670
    BG Level
    9
    FFXIV Character
    Kuno Sedai
    FFXIV Server
    Gilgamesh
    FFXI Server
    Bahamut

    The History of the World- 08.07.09

    Oh hey we've been linked to in the media as a FF14 source. If you want that, go here for that sort of thing.



    Septimus isn't here to do the update this month and so I present to you my update:
    The History of the World (According to Square-Enix)

    It all began with a stone, or so the legend says. Our story starts a bit before that. In the beginning, Square-Enix created the heavens and the earth, and that everything SE had made had been good. And on the eleventh series, SE has created a paradise for the humans to enjoy. However the humans were a curious bunch, and after feasting from the tree of wut have gained insight and knowledge far beyond what was intended. The paradise made was being destroyed. Like Truman from the Trumans Show, they would find every possible moment to break free from their restraints. SE, like a tough parent, would quickly slap the humans on the wrist, and redirect the course of humanity back toward its correct path. They would be lead astray more and more, and similar measures were put in place. For it was SE's paradise, and the humans were meant to play their role.

    Over time the pleas and cries for help from the humans were ignored. Often times they were misinterpreted or made worse. Like a bad episode of Reboot, one plea was to make one humans job as powerful as a Ranger, however the end result was the rangers being made weaker instead of them stronger. One may never truly understand how the great mind of SE thinks.


    The effects of the tree of wut takes a while to show, but it's effect has run rampant. SE realizes they only have one choice and that is to purge the world of the unbelieving. They deleted all the humans who sinned against them, and their whining was heard for 40 days and 40 nights. SE did not delete them all, as two of every gimp were selected and saved.


    And so it was through SE's divine will that they created CoP. It was in their power to do so, and so it came to be. The humans were banished there, forced to work on it for many years. A man by the name of rustymeta saw a GM beating up someone working, and was completely outraged, and decided to kill him. He then lead the people out of CoP. They wandered in the abyss for many years, eventually reaching a paradise. The land was filled with haste head pieces and colibri as far as the eye could see. It was a wonderful land called ToaU.

    It was into this world that Sundi was born. Son of a virgin Angelkitty and the almighty SE, he was born to further spread the word to the unbelievers.


    Sundi was a teacher to the people and a preacher who announced the coming of SE's gracious rule. Opposition to Sundi arose, especially among the BGites, who believed he had power but was not using it for good. One of his students, Taj, had secretly conspired with the head BGites, and betrayed him. He was sent to his doom, and on the third fanfest he resurrected, proving to the unbelievers that he was real.



    And so the legend says that in the end a false prophet will come. I am aware of who he is. He goes by the name of Septimus. Do not listen to his lies! He says things you want to hear so you all can follow him, for he is the Anti-Sundi. Shortly after you all take him in, he will lead the world to war. But fear not, my friends! For soon the rapture cometh. And with it all of you may be saved. For when it comes this world shall be no more! Come with us, our children of SE, to Eorza and be with the great Sundi once more for a thousand years of glory.

    http://www.bluegartr.com/img/080709/rapture1.jpg





    Stuff that happened this time around!

    Well let me start by saying people in the LS are getting lazier and lazier. Mostly myself, but that aside people havn't been taking many screenshots. And so I will attempt to jazz up these lame pics to the best of my ability.


    We decided to kill this ram because we hate sheep.

    http://www.bluegartr.com/img/080709/Amaltheia1.jpg

    http://www.bluegartr.com/img/080709/Amaltheia2.jpg


    Septimus recommended I don't comment on these pictures.

    http://www.bluegartr.com/img/080709/...ntalLamia1.jpg
    How did Moogle get here? I am not good with computer.

    http://www.bluegartr.com/img/080709/...ntalLamia2.jpg

    http://www.bluegartr.com/img/080709/...ntalLamia3.jpg


    Oh Edward, you're so dreamy.

    http://www.bluegartr.com/img/080709/Nosferatu1.jpg

    http://www.bluegartr.com/img/080709/Nosferatu2.jpg

    http://www.bluegartr.com/img/080709/Nosferatu3.jpg
    Is he giving us the finger? Maybe I should censor that.


    Einherjar, you'll never let us down.

    http://www.bluegartr.com/img/080709/Einherjar1.jpg
    His love is like a ticking clock.

    http://www.bluegartr.com/img/080709/Einherjar2.jpg

    http://www.bluegartr.com/img/080709/Einherjar3.jpg

    http://www.bluegartr.com/img/080709/Einherjar4.jpg


    This is the only interesting Dynamis zone we did, I guess.

    http://www.bluegartr.com/img/080709/dyValkurm1.jpg

    http://www.bluegartr.com/img/080709/dyValkurm2.jpg


    We went to this place again. I'm pretty sure we didn't get anything worthwhile, which is nothing new to anyone whos been here before.

    http://www.bluegartr.com/img/080709/jFai.jpg


    http://www.bluegartr.com/img/080709/jFo1.jpg


    http://www.bluegartr.com/img/080709/jFo2.jpg


    http://www.bluegartr.com/img/080709/jPru.jpg


    If you say his name 3 times in the dark, he will find you and he will kill you. Also for a guy who used to give us sweet sweet filler pics, he's barely here this month. Maybe that's why he wants to kill us. Who knows.

    http://www.bluegartr.com/img/080709/ouryu.jpg
    I took this screenshot so naturally I didn't bother getting much of anyone else in the shot.


    Obligatory laser shots below. Pew pew pew.

    http://www.bluegartr.com/img/080709/Omega1.jpg

    http://www.bluegartr.com/img/080709/Omega2.jpg

    http://www.bluegartr.com/img/080709/Omega3.jpg


    We were in their base.

    http://www.bluegartr.com/img/080709/...dInvasion1.jpg

    http://www.bluegartr.com/img/080709/...dInvasion2.jpg



    Loot for the month!!


    Congratulations to Aerides for Cleric's Belt.


    Congratulations to Bregor for Bard's Roundlet and Aurum Cuisses.


    Congratulations to Ceiyne for Cleric's Duckbills and Argute Bracers.


    Congratulations to Curtis for Summoner's Pigaches and Pantin Babourches.


    Darkdreamer looks about as stylish as an Elvaan can get in his new Koga Sarashi and Enkidu Leggings.
    http://www.bluegartr.com/img/080709/Darkdreamer.jpg


    Congratulations to Fryte for Assassin's Bonnet, Monster Helm and Duelist's Boots.


    Our token Elvaan F Janessa is looking mighty fine in her D feet, Melee Hose, Seismic Axe and Aurum Cuisses.
    http://www.bluegartr.com/img/080709/Janessa1.jpg
    http://www.bluegartr.com/img/080709/Janessa2.jpg


    Kainos looks quite unfashionable with his Piss Boots.. uh I mean Aurum Sabatons.
    Not shown: Wyrm Greaves, Homam Zucchetto
    http://www.bluegartr.com/img/080709/kainos.jpg


    We see Kazen standing still in his Stone Mufflers because he tried to do a /think motion with me taking the screenshot. Nice try Zarflax.
    Not shown: Scout's Braccae
    http://www.bluegartr.com/img/080709/kazen.jpg


    Congratulations to Gorion for Enkidu's Leggings.


    Grneko embarasses all of us in a new pair of Duelist's Tights and Stone Mufflers.
    Not shown: Homam Zucchetto
    http://www.bluegartr.com/img/080709/gaygr.jpg


    Congratulations to Rainia for Argute Bracers and Monster Trousers.


    Congratulations to Ryphen for Homam Corazza and Cleric's Belt. Also Congratulations to Michaera for Cleric's Cap.


    Congratulations to Slone for Bard's Slippers and Zha'Go's barbut.


    Congratulations to Sobius for Sorcerer's Sabots and Cleric's Duckbills.


    Congratulations to Vishodhan for Bard's Roundlet +1.


    Congratulations to Warthog for Monster Helm.


    Congratulations to Xavier for Warrior's Calligae.


    Praise be to Yin for she has obtained Aurum Sabatons.






    Kuno Kuno on the wall, who is the loot-whoriest of them all?


    http://www.bluegartr.com/img/lootwhore.gif

    Congratulations to Septimus for Duelist's Chapeau+1 and Oracle's Braconi!
    http://www.bluegartr.com/img/080709/Septimus1.jpg
    http://www.bluegartr.com/img/080709/Septimus2.jpg

    He didn't get the most loot this month but Duelist's Chapeu+1 kthxbai.

  2. #2

  3. #3

    Holy lmao brilliant! I had to look twice at the last supper painting it is so well done and briefly passed as the original.

    LOL Cheese Sandwich on the table and Tree of wut.

  4. #4
    With milk. With love
    Join Date
    Apr 2005
    Posts
    1,629
    BG Level
    6
    FFXI Server
    Siren
    WoW Realm
    Cenarion Circle

    lol

  5. #5
    THIS IS BREGOR'S STORY
    Beard +1

    Join Date
    Feb 2007
    Posts
    23,096
    BG Level
    10
    FFXI Server
    Bahamut

    GDI it Kuno I take the time to post fashion shots and you don't even use them. Now the world will never know how good I look in yellow pants.

  6. #6
    The God Damn Kuno
    Join Date
    Dec 2004
    Posts
    13,670
    BG Level
    9
    FFXIV Character
    Kuno Sedai
    FFXIV Server
    Gilgamesh
    FFXI Server
    Bahamut

    Go blame sept he didn't put em in the group of images he gave me. I'll edit em in later with some hilarious text.

  7. #7
    Salvage Bans
    Join Date
    Feb 2008
    Posts
    989
    BG Level
    5
    FFXI Server
    Bismarck

    holy shit...LOL at the last supper picture.

  8. #8
    THIS IS BREGOR'S STORY
    Beard +1

    Join Date
    Feb 2007
    Posts
    23,096
    BG Level
    10
    FFXI Server
    Bahamut

    It's really ok, I think the world will continue to exist without seeing me in a mushroom hat.

    Also, the Last Supper is my new desktop.

  9. #9
    The Once and Future Wamoura
    Join Date
    Aug 2005
    Posts
    18,370
    BG Level
    9
    FFXIV Character
    Rocl Montaigne
    FFXIV Server
    Excalibur
    FFXI Server
    Bahamut
    WoW Realm
    Quel'Thalas

    Holy shit I'm Judas?

  10. #10
    The God Damn Kuno
    Join Date
    Dec 2004
    Posts
    13,670
    BG Level
    9
    FFXIV Character
    Kuno Sedai
    FFXIV Server
    Gilgamesh
    FFXI Server
    Bahamut

    Quote Originally Posted by Rocl View Post
    Holy shit I'm Judas?
    If you read it, it's Taj.

  11. #11
    CoP Dynamis
    Join Date
    Feb 2009
    Posts
    250
    BG Level
    4
    FFXIV Character
    Xalniar Ryseri
    FFXIV Server
    Leviathan
    FFXI Server
    Bahamut

    Quote Originally Posted by Bregor View Post
    GDI it Kuno I take the time to post fashion shots and you don't even use them. Now the world will never know how good I look in yellow pants.
    That's ok Bregor, he has my blm up there but no mage items mentioned! It was a big update, give him slack! Oracle Gloves, Black Belt, Melee Gaiters, Melee Cyclas were all missed too.

    I STILL <3 you KUNO.

  12. #12
    The Once and Future Wamoura
    Join Date
    Aug 2005
    Posts
    18,370
    BG Level
    9
    FFXIV Character
    Rocl Montaigne
    FFXIV Server
    Excalibur
    FFXI Server
    Bahamut
    WoW Realm
    Quel'Thalas

    Quote Originally Posted by Not Kuno View Post
    If you read it, it's Taj.
    I don't read shit

  13. #13
    Ranger
    2600klub

    Join Date
    Apr 2005
    Posts
    11,330
    BG Level
    9
    FFXIV Character
    Sonomaa Kihten
    FFXIV Server
    Gilgamesh
    FFXI Server
    Bahamut
    WoW Realm
    Durotan
    Blog Entries
    12

    bump

  14. #14
    Ranger
    2600klub

    Join Date
    Apr 2005
    Posts
    11,330
    BG Level
    9
    FFXIV Character
    Sonomaa Kihten
    FFXIV Server
    Gilgamesh
    FFXI Server
    Bahamut
    WoW Realm
    Durotan
    Blog Entries
    12

    bump for madness

  15. #15

    what the fuck, reboot was the shit.

  16. #16
    Users Awaiting Email Confirmation
    Join Date
    May 2009
    Posts
    4
    BG Level
    0
    FFXI Server
    Bahamut

    i think you missed the episode reference very nice update =O

  17. #17

    I have never seen reboot and of course the name sounds familiar. Go youtube Reboot internet tangent me.

  18. #18
    The God Damn Kuno
    Join Date
    Dec 2004
    Posts
    13,670
    BG Level
    9
    FFXIV Character
    Kuno Sedai
    FFXIV Server
    Gilgamesh
    FFXI Server
    Bahamut

    I love Reboot. That episode will always have a special place in my heart for when you want something to be better, but instead everything else is just lowered to become shitter.

  19. #19

    Well hey look at that! I don't see my name mentioned much around here anymore.

  20. #20
    Relic Horn
    Join Date
    Oct 2005
    Posts
    3,144
    BG Level
    7
    FFXI Server
    Unicorn
    WoW Realm
    Shattered Hand

    I blame kuno for this.

Page 1 of 2 1 2 LastLast

Similar Threads

  1. The Savior of the Update- 10.31.07 Septimus
    By Septimus in forum BG Forum News and Events
    Replies: 15
    Last Post: 2007-11-08, 06:28