BG HALP I Have to move out (again)

[Wakabo]

Parents decided since I'm not wanting to "participate" and don't seem like I "like" them I was told I have till September for a place to go.

Problem is I have a job, they don't give me a lot of hours. I have no car so I take bus transportation. I have no friends/family I can bum with. Oldest brother of mine I can probably chill with him for a month and then this girl I met I can crash on her couch for a month too.

I was planning on starting school this winter but that feels like it's not gonna happen. Monday I was going to go into a class to learn about financial aid for schooling but is it even worth doing that now?

I had posted up on craigslist too of needing housing and got one person to reply back saying I'd be the perfect roommate but they are about a 1-2 hour drive away and I'd take them up on the offer but being no guaranteed job out there I had to decline them. I been looking on CL too for places to go and just no reply from what I had sent to the people. Either they just blown off my email or found someone but not taken down their ad.

I'm running out of ideas and about to set up camp under a bridge so if was hoping to see if anyone had any tips or ideas that they have gone through or what.

I feel like Cream Soda.. just white and less problems.

edit: I pitch in 150 a month and an extra 50 for cell/help with their overall cell bill so 200 a month goes to them.

[Sigi]

If you're under 25, check out programs like Americorps or Job Corps- not only is it a guaranteed residence, gives you a major leg up for your resume (and I know in Job Corps you can go to college at the same time), and if you go through Americorps- you can get a discount for any federal aid you receive for college. Thing is, Job Corps is/was very very ghetto- I don't know about Americorps as much. Keep up on trying for financial aid- see if you qualify for your in-state universities and get a dorm. Bar that, shape up w/ the attitude towards your family. Eight out of ten, the thing that makes parents want to throw the kid out is when the kid isn't willing to chip in nor doesn't help out the household (along the lines of "Hey, while I stay here, can I chip in for my electricity/internet/cell/television/etc? I don't make much... but will X per month be OK for a fair share?")- although the "you don't *Like* them" schtick is sticking in my craw... you are their child. Not their friend. Friendship w/ your parents is a nice goal, but usually doesn't happen until you have your own place, and your own life

Anyhow, one advantage of both of those programs aside from the whole "it gives you a place to go", is you can go out of state and get established away from your family. If you go the Job Corps route, check out the programs offered- and have your financial information with you. It's meant for the hyper po folk, but is an opportunity to get away, get a skill, and possibly get a degree. More importantly, it also gives you intangible benefits- like learning how to deal with colossal stupidity, adaptability, and self-responsibility.

Or you can join the military if you are physically able.

[shiarua]

Start working the corner...

[Wakabo]

Thanks Sigi that's a great help. Also I should of added in, I pitch in 150 a month and an extra 50 for cell/help with their overall cell bill so 200 a month goes to them.

I work, sleep, play games, and look into getting classes done but not good enough I suppose.

Edit: as for the being a friend of the family. I have no issue at all with doing anything with them or helping out around the house when asked to. I just don't go out of my way to sit and chat when I'm enjoying myself in my room or taking a nap.

When it was brought up that I need to "move on and get my own place to be" that's when the mind set of "not really fond of you guys, later" attitude kicked in and could careless with helping now if that's how they feel about me.

[aduidarnenye]

I think you should start looking for a new job immediately.

Also, I solved the transportation issue by living within walking distance to work.

Finally, you sound like you're a tad bit dazed and confused about your present and future. A stint in the military for a couple of years might be a good idea to get your financial bearings. Plus, they will train you to do something useful if you get into one of the technician trades, a skill you can put to good use when you get out. I would not recommend infantry, try for the navy.

[Wakabo]

Navy has been something I considered before. Just not sure if I want to give up everything for a few years but it could be the best outcome out of my choices at the moment.

[aduidarnenye]

Navy has been something I considered before. Just not sure if I want to give up everything for a few years but it could be the best outcome out of my choices at the moment.

Well, you can always think about what you were doing a couple of years ago and how much your l life has really changed, and how much your life is likely to change in the next few years.

My father was in the navy for 32 years and it was just like a regular job for him. Of course, he was a technician and it pretty much was 7am-2pm (nice short hours) for the last 15 years of that because he worked on a base fixing radios. He got to travel all over the world and at the end of it he came out with a nice fat pension and the closest he got to a war situation was sitting on a ship in the Baltic for several months (there are no ship to ship battles anymore).

You pretty much just have to get through the shitty first year, get into a tech trade, and you're set for life.

[kuronosan]

Navy has been something I considered before. Just not sure if I want to give up everything for a few years but it could be the best outcome out of my choices at the moment.

Join the Air Force. Do you have a degree? You could always join the military as an officer (and get paid more and have a better pension).

If you join the Air Force, you still get to go through BT but you don't run the risk of getting your ass sent to Iraq. Joining the Navy puts you on a boat for 6 months at a time (which hey - let's be honest, with women in the Navy, you get all the pussy you want because they're just as horny) but that boat could also be in Iraq.

Just weigh your options. Take it from me, though, if you don't or even if you do have a degree, use the military for its GI Bill, get your experience, then get the hell out.

[Wakabo]

GI Bill? And isn't there something against having sex with other female members At least there was a problem with some chick who got preggo in iraq.

[Xajii]

GI Bill? And isn't there something against having sex with other female members At least there was a problem with some chick who got preggo in iraq.

I don't think that would be a problem for you.

On a serious note, I think you should try to reconcile with your family a bit before doing anything crazy. Things like the army/navy/etc. are really big decisions and it's bad to throw yourself in there "because you have no other options", that is how to make yourself miserable.

A lot of times, parents do these things as a warning or punishment, with the idea in the back of their minds that you really won't have a place to go, etc. How old are you?

Be a nice person to them, if you "don't go out of your way to chit chat with them" I'm interpreting that as "don't talk to them at-fucking-all", because I was like that in high school at least. They're your family, and they're important, and just shoving money and doing the bare minimum they ask of you isn't really making them comfortable. At some point it becomes like having a disagreeable room mate, I'd imagine.

[Wakabo]

I'm 20 right now and I still talk with them during meals or if we pass by but nothing really more than that. Last weekend there was help needed with yard work. I did my part and then some.

[kuronosan]

I'm 20 right now and I still talk with them during meals or if we pass by but nothing really more than that. Last weekend there was help needed with yard work. I did my part and then some.

I'm in the same situation as you.

Your parents are trying to either a) demand respect they feel they deserve or b) try to make you feel like you don't contribute enough.

It really gives you that sense that you need to take care of yourself. First thing I did was go out and buy a washer/dryer on clearance and set up an apartment (which my financial aid pays for while I work part time and go to school full time).

This is a key moment in the life with your parents because you have to not only teach them that you respect them, you have to teach them to respect you as well. If you can get out on your own and take more care of yourself (taking on more responsibility) they'll have less to hang over your head.

[Wakabo]

If I had the financial to back that up I would totally go out and be on my own but that isn't possible at the moment. I suppose I might take the time to look for more work and if worst comes to worst I'll chill at my brothers for a little and work. Then if I'm not set by then I'll crash on the chicks couch for a bit and even by then, Navy/Airforce does not seem like a bad idea.

Always wanted to fly in a jet, looks like so much fun

[Punices9]

I'm 20 right now and I still talk with them during meals or if we pass by but nothing really more than that. Last weekend there was help needed with yard work. I did my part and then some.

You saying this makes me think you need to grow up a little. It sounds like you are keeping track of what you do to help your parents. I help my parents and grandma all the time but I do not say well I helped this many hours so I have reached my weekly quota.

If you really have to leave and do not have a job, you are going to be in trouble. Without a steady income you will end up flat broke. If I were you I would try to make amends with your family and shape up a little. You do not sound like a 20 y/o.

[Elcura]

20 is still pretty young though, but I do agree with the whole reconciliation part. Be a little more considerate, if you find yourself in a position where you're bored enough to take a nap, ask if there's anything that needs doing.

The easiest thing I do for my mum when she's working is to simply wash the dishes, take out the trash and generally keep the kitchen clean (my own area is my business and her area is her business). Other times, if there's little food in the house, I'll go out and get something etc.

Basically, you don't want to give your parents a reason to chew you out, so try being proactive and observant. If that fails, just ask. If all else fails, pit them against each other and live with the survivor. Always easier to deal with 1 parent than 2.

[Zilong]

Unless you live in a really fucked up family (at which point, the states should have taken you off your parents' custody long ago), no parents would want to just kick their children to the street just like that.

I'd just have a discussion with your parents regarding the situation, and just do what needed to be done in order to maintain your current state of living until you can actually go out and get your own place. While living with your parents does come with its downsides, odds are it's a much better option than forcing yourself to live on your own when you really have no decent resource to go on.

Swallow your pride, accept their terms, when all is said and done, they're still your family and odds are they'd understand.

[Wakabo]

Lol I've been out once before on my own and moved back because of the opportunity to do schooling after a little while and everything was fine. Things in the past from when I was like.. 15-16 my mom still holds against me saying I don't like her and such. Comments like that she makes just has me rolling my eyes because she knows I don't think that. Dad's the "good guy" and from family things going on he's become more strict with how things will go. He's the one who told me that I need to have things figured out by September and head out which was a surprise to me.

Other than that when I moved back and even now I hold them in high respect and they knew that. I did/still do things with out letting them know such as the cleaning/mowing/house hold chores. I don't know, maybe I need to grow up more but pretty sure I had learned a lot from being on my own and managing my self.

[Cream Soda]

Ramen noodles

[ikariiiii]

if you really need a job, you should really try to apply as a busboy at restaurants- legal sea foods and p.f. changs if theyre around are really solid for that and you can make a decent living (I used to pull in $250/night on tips without the hourly rate) and work your way up to being a server. granted, its kind of an annoying job at times but you seem to be desperate for money!

[Wakabo]

I've tried time upon times at restaurants for a position like that but when I call back or check in on apps. they reply with no work and they'll hold onto the app for future possibilities.